I’ve been getting a lot of email like the below lately. I thought I’d share it with you.
Hi PZ Myers,
Be still my heart. They spelled it correctly! Now I’m much more willing to listen to their pitch.
Following up one last time in case you missed my last email about partnering with our upcoming campaign for 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡, a bitcoin rewards platform!
Oy. Bitcoin. Well, they squandered that one shred of goodwill already. Fuck off and die.
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 gives you free bitcoin/money when you shop online like groceries, sneakers, tech, and more. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 is partnered with over 1,000 top brands like Nike, eBay, & StockX for up to 30% bitcoin back on your purchases! Some of 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡’s most recent backers include Mr. Beast, Cody Ko & Philip DeFranco.
That was useful information at least. I’ll be sure to never watch Mr Beast, Cody Ko, or Philip DeFranco, whoever they are — all I know at this point is that they must be assholes. Not into Nike or eBay, either, and never heard of StockX.
We’re looking for an integrated video on Youtube and/or Instagram Stories that will highlight the use and benefits of using 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡. We want to encourage viewers to download 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 (extension & iOS mobile app) and sign-up for an account to earn free bitcoin on their everyday purchases!
If you’re interested, please send us your rates & media kit for YouTube / Instagram if you have them and we can send you more details about the collaboration. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Bwahahahahaha! Readers, if you suddenly see yourself inundated with 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 ads (obscuring emojis will be removed once my demands are met), just console yourself with the fact that I’ll be in Mexico or Australia or the Brazilian upcountry (places rich in spiders) enjoying my retirement in wealth and ease. Maybe I’ll travel between all three! And New Guinea! And Nigeria! Oh the places I’ll go!