Sexy cyborg costume 10% complete!


I got to hang out in a doctor’s office this morning, because I have “massive, extreme” [her words] bone spurs on my left heel. Yay, what else can go wrong? Also learned from the X-rays that I’m a mutant, with a congenital fusion of two of my foot bones that gives me very high arches but also increases the impact of my heel hitting the ground. So cool, when nature gives you defects, artifice gives you fancy boots.

I get to wear this for a few weeks to get the inflammation down, then we assess.

It’s just in time for Halloween. I was thinking…sexy cyborg? Sexy robot? Sexy Frankenstein’s monster?

Comments

  1. cartomancer says

    Now we just need to come up with your X-Men superhero name!

    Bootstrap? The Heel? Leg Up? Professor Osseous? Firefoot?

  2. birgerjohansson says

    Just shave off your hair and wear a “VOTE TRUMP” T-shirt. Everyone with a hint of brains will recognise Lex Luthor -evil and hairless.
    .
    OT (interrupted by a Youtube notice)
    OH, YES, YES the latest video from God Awful Movies arrived one hour ago.
    “The Eyes of Tammy Faye”
    As a Christian movie, it is the perfect horror comedy for Halloween.
    .
    You know, with the advent of AI making complex robotic tasks easier, you could use an exoskeleton to direct one of those giant Japanese robots * and let an AI translate balancing a human-sized object to balancing a 100-foot tall robot. You could be the first real-life anti-kaiju fighter, fighting Gojira on even terms.
    *I think they are called “gundam” . There is a whole manga/anime subculture around them.

  3. birgerjohansson says

    In the 70s, there was this TV series ‘The Million-Dollar Man’
    But he was a hero so maybe you should go on Halloween as his evil twin?

  4. drken says

    When I saw the headline, I thought you were dressing up as Naomi Wu this Halloween. Imagine my disappointment to find out it’s just about wearing a brace for bone-spurs. On the bright side, you won’t have to go fight in Vietnam now.

  5. stroppy says

    I don’t have bone spurs, but I do have bunions that are due for treatment. Maybe I’ll get kitted out with some fancy leg wear too.

  6. R. L. Foster says

    Perhaps the high arches gave you an evolutionary advantage in ye olden times. Were your Anglo Saxon ancestors horsemen perchance? That high arch might fit better in old style stirrups, especially if the riders didn’t wear stiff soled shoes.

  7. birgerjohansson says

    In William Gibson’s ‘Peripheral’ and ‘Agency’, there is a character that suffers from injuries after serving in the ‘haptic infantry’ (wearing powered exoskeletons).
    -If you are visiting the homes of SF nerds on Halloween, this character could be a good choice (as I do not recall the names of this and at least ten other characters of the books I hardly qualify for the noble term “nerd” myself).

  8. Thomas Scott says

    Good luck with that, it didn’t work for me. I feel your pain, I have the same problem in both heels. The best solution I’ve found is extra thick silicon heel cups in my shoes. That, and slowing down. Remember your elementary physics – the force of impact goes up with the square of the velocity.

  9. stuffin says

    Orthotic inserts stopped the pain of my 2 heal spurs over 20 year ago. My feet still suck, feel like I’m walking on golf balls when I get up in the morning but a few hours later it only feels like I walk on marbles. But thank goodness. no more heel pain

  10. birgerjohansson says

    I don’t know anything about this kind of problems, can those bony outgrowths be surgically removed?

  11. Craig says

    The unfortunate thing is that when the patient is finished with medical tech like orthopedic boots, they are often unwieldy trash that winds up squirreled away in attics, basements, garages, sheds, closets, etc. In cleaning my parents’ house, we took four such boots to the dump.

    That said, don’t get me started on crutches – even the previous homeowners left crutches in the crawl space of my folks’ home.

  12. JoeBuddha says

    So, what’s one difference between you and the former guy? You really DO have bone spurs.

  13. chuckonpiggott says

    Had a bone spur removed a few years back. Had a boot for about six weeks. Clunky as hell. Your feet sound like mine. Very high arches. Can’t wear slip on shoes, they just flop off. Sandals are a challenge as well.

  14. blf says

    When I first saw the image in the OP, it suggested poopyhead was undergoing conversion into a Cyberman… are there any blue(-ish) British police boxes in the vicinity?

  15. evodevo says

    Had heel spur (calcified arch ligaments) in my right foot years ago…walked around in pain for a couple of years, trying all those orthotics, exercises, etc. – no go. My family physician wasn’t much help, so I went to a podiatrist…after evaluation and some more exercises that didn’t do much, she gave me a cortisone injection (hurt like hell at the time – could hardly make it back to the car in the med bldg parking lot!!), and two days later it was all gone…that was 15 years ago – never came back. It worked for some of my friends with heel spurs, but not others. Also, I put arch supports in all my shoes and never walk ANYWHERE, even at home in slippers, without them…YMMV

  16. DanDare says

    Hmmm. It doesn’t look either spidery or octopussy. Maybe wear an alternate costume over the boot?

  17. davidc1 says

    Hi Doc ,just had a look at bone spurs on the interweb ,I am sorry for my comment above ,didn’t realise how serious the condition was .

  18. Jado says

    Um, Doc? About the Halloween costume? I think any of those would be understandable, but you might need to manage your expectations a little.

    “Sexy”?? I’m not sure how to say this, but I think you should spend some time looking at your picture form the website profile. It takes one to know one (I am one), and non-game recognizes non-game, so…

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