I’m full of alien substances now


I got shot up with Pfizer a few months ago, yesterday I got a buttload of pain-numbing happy juice, and today…

When can I officially be designated a cyborg transhuman mutant alien hybrid? I’m looking forward to when my nictating membranes, extra limbs and nipples, and compound eyes kick in.

I hope you’re all getting all of your vaccinations so we can team up and take over the world.

Comments

  1. says

    I see that the fusion center has managed to get a lock-on to the trackers injected in you, five by five. Now Bill Gates can read your very thoughts.

  2. birgerjohansson says

    I forgot. If you are undergoing a metamorphosis, let it be a Greenland shark. Those critters live forever.

  3. robro says

    I get my old foggy flu shot tomorrow. I expect to hear from the Gatesbot immediately after giving me further instructions for world conquest.

  4. says

    There’s a compound pneumonia shot (pneumovax) that covers a bunch of viruses that cause pneumonia. I got it as soon as the COVID came out (back when we all thought it was pneumonia, not an immune system overreaction) it seemed like a sensible precaution and is recommended for folks over 60.

  5. DrVanNostrand says

    I intentionally set my yearly PCP appointment for Fall so I can always get my flu shot while I’m there. It’s easy enough to get at any pharmacy, but I would always procrastinate and get the shot when flu season was already half over.

  6. Snarki, child of Loki says

    But aren’t you going to get some spiders irradiated so they can bite you and you can transform and become their leader?1??

  7. Snarki, child of Loki says

    But aren’t you going to get some spiders irradiated so they can bite you and you can transform and become their leader?1??

  8. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I got my Sr. flu shot last month, and I’ll get my Covid booster shot next week. That will make me up-to-date on my vaccines.

  9. birgerjohansson says

    Do the hospitals provide the black goo from Prometheus or The X File? If not, you should get your money back.

  10. nomdeplume says

    With all the magnets in your blood you will be able to navigate like a homing pigeon…

  11. Tethys says

    I intake alien substances multiple times daily. So far the only results seem to be itchy eyes and a stuffy nose.

    I will be getting my boost of alien substances injected next week, and can’t wait for a frost to kill off most of the alien substances floating around in the air.

  12. captainjack says

    If you grow extra body parts, they should be useful, like multiple eyes. More nipples would be as superfluous as the ones you have.

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