I’m not making this up, that’s what they call it: “DESTINED TO BE THE MANSPLAINING EVENT OF THE CENTURY”, as if that’s a great selling point. Only women (but only biological women, they say) will be allowed to attend, all of the speakers are men, and the cost is $1,999. Did I mention that the speakers are people like Mike Cernovich and Stevan Molyneux and Andrew Dream Johnson, who I’ve never heard of before, but who calls himself the president of the Manosphere?
If that isn’t persuasive enough for you yet, the conference also promises to raise your femininity 500%, become the Ultimate Wife, and help you get pregnant and have unlimited babies!
Our speakers will teach you how to have as many babies as your heart desires with the time you have left and bounce back to amazing health and wellness without extreme diets or stress. The clock is ticking and your babies are soon to be kicking!
A sample of the kind of deep, poetic wisdom you will receive at this conference: “If you’re not strong, you’re weak.” Mind blown.
Well, ladies, have you signed up yet? If not, don’t worry, this is the kind of event designed to have your man sign you up to whip you into shape. Just sit back and let him make the decisions.
If you’re wondering what he’ll do during this woman-only event, don’t worry, there’s a parallel conference, The 21 Convention, 2nd Patriarch Edition, happening at the same time in the same hotel, with pretty much the same speaker list, for only $999 more. So yeah, $3000 for a weekend in which bloviating asses tell you what to do to live up to your man’s expectations, and then duck into the adjacent conference room to tell your man what to expect from you. It’s perfect.
Well? Let me know how many of you are going.
(By the way, that “men prefer debt free virgins without tattoos” is one of the slogans they use, and it’s more horrifying than it even sounds. “Debt free” refers specifically to college debt — so their kind of man prefers women who are uneducated and inexperienced and young and trainable.)
Man, I hope some newspaper somewhere ponies up the cash to send a secret journalist to this thing to report on the nonsense they’re going to peddle.
I just keep thinking of Tom Cruise in Magnolia…. Over and over for days.
I guess all those mechanical women will have to find a different conference.
Of course, all these burly, macho, manly men will share their own experience with childbirth and post-partum care. (Especially Stevan Molyneux ‘s recent episiotomy.)
The clock is ticking and your babies are soon to be kicking!
Sounds like the alt.right is starting their own Lebensborn program.
Let’s not fool ourselves, that is a conference for and by people who wish there wasn’t a legal prohibition or a social stigma against having sex with underage girls. Because, deep down, that’s really what all this bullshit is about.
With prices like those I expect the entire audience is going to be undercover journalists. All three of them.
Says who? The Stepford Wife who’s idea of “kink” is when her husband’s annual clothes-on, under-the-covers, lights-out fuck lasts more than 10 seconds? Yeah, I’m not going to go to her for relationship advice.
I was going to go, but-darn it-I already made plans to stay home and rub a cheese grater on my head while chewing on tin foil.
Not to make assumptions, but which head?
“Men prefer debt free women without tattoos.”
Translation: Weak, insecure men prefer weak insecure women.
Reading that I could feel my lip curl up in disgust. I know that some men think like that. My own father did and the adolescent fights you can imagine on your own.
kome @4: And they also wish that they could go back to the days when beating your wife “with a reasonable instrument” was legal. And rape wasn’t a crime.
I’ll go if they want to pay me two gran… oh. Oh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I asked my wife if she wanted to attend the conference, she remarked, “You know that they’ll raise their hand to me”.
I replied, “Only to lose it to my kukuri, then be chided about ‘being a man’ about it”.
Giving her words due consideration, I’ll simply fall back to a less messy assessment.
The lot are zero targets for a machine gun range.
The TedTalk meme jumps the shark. “Make Women Great Again” hats…really? And is that really their idea of a “Dream World”? Looks like a silly boring nightmare. Someone should shout “Stinky!” Where’s Focus Group Man?
You know, if the convention center where this is being held gets swallowed up by a giant sinkhole leading to the bowels of the planet, I might have to reconsider my atheism. Please, Lord. Pretty please? Amen.
It’s too early in the day for this shirt.
According to his Twitter feed, Andrew “Nightmare” Johnson is offering free passes to any woman in the media who wants to attend. Maybe someone should take him up on his offer.
Channeling Pat Robertson, I see…
I’m almost tempted to go and sit in the back, laughing my ass off at everyone on stage, and everyone else who shows up.
They’re never going to get enough people to cover their costs. So they cancel. So what is the point of this? None of these losers have a grand to waste, so who’s going to attend? And if they give tickets away, how do they make any money? And they are supposedly doing another one in Krakow? None of this makes any sense.
What I find mind boggling is how stupid they think their followers are. Because obviously, this is not directed at an average person, this is an event to milk money from their stupid followers and somehow they have decided that such an event can actually make money. It’s really really sad. It’s the same old winning formula of organized religion: find the most unhinged unthinking sheep audience and milk them for money.
@ Akira MacKenzie, # 8: “Not to make assumptions, but which head?”
The big one, of course. : )
Could this be a crowd of incels playacting at being alpha males?
”there’s a …(men’s) conference, …, happening at the same time in the same hotel, with pretty much the same speaker list, for only $999 more.”
What? The women’s conference should have fewer speakers, and cost more, than the men’s. But it can justify that by having pink decorations.
I feel like the Singularity is coming, but it’s satirical instead of technological. Once the real world becomes so ridiculous that it’s no longer possible to satirize it, history ends. Or something. I’m still waiting for the first coffee of the day to kick in.
I scrolled through the list of speakers until I hit this one …
haahaaahaaahaa.
Given the premise, the advertisement and, well, eveything, maybe that’s the business model: Create the most overblown and overpriced anti-event that media outlets feel they simply must cover just to see what the frell is going on there. The audience might be 9/10ths journailsts and a small fraction of genuinely interested attendees – there’d always be some of those, sadly.
Of course, there’s always plan B: Oh no, we’ve run out of money. No conference, no refunds. Sorry. (But in this case you should thank us, really)
My glasses were smudged, and I read that as “debt free vaginas”, and… honestly, it didn’t really make any difference to the message or the impression I had of the people who say that kind of thing.
@#27, komarov
Yeah, this kind of suggests a deliberate “event cancelled and by the way no refunds” scam. One question to ask, among many, is whether the speakers realize this, and whether they will get a cut when the event is withdrawn.
This is going to be like the Fyre Festival, but for incels. It’ll be cancelled when only about 150 people sign up, and the deposits will all magically fail to be refunded.
My phone is not telling me it’s April 1st.
It’s one thing that it’s $2,000 for a conference ticket…or bring a friend (female I assume) and book early to get half-price. I’ve been to a few out-of-town conferences in my day and I had to pay to stay at the hotel venue, so I wondered what that part of the deal looked like. Well first off, there’s this intriguing bit:
So where they are having the conference is a big secret. It may not be at the Rosen Hotel, shown in the video, across the road from the Orlando Convention Center.
Then they state:
And that’s it. I would guess that May isn’t the height of the Orlando tourist season but it’s close and this is a weekend. I would assume even discounted room rates are going to be a significant part of the cost, plus meals, airfare and so forth.
This isn’t just a $2,000 conference ticket. It’s edging up to a $4,000 or $5,000 personal expense some of which you may not be able to recover if they cancel.
“Men prefer virgins” is really telling about their motives.
@31
of course they can not tell you where it will be because hotels do not like to get stiffed and would prefer money and a good part in advance and probably some kind of guarantee as well looking at their proposal. They hove not secured a venue yet it depends on what the response is.. it will probably be Bhubah’s fishing resort with adjacent cabins
uncle frogy
(Closes eyes, crosses fingers) oh, please let it be Laurie Penny, please let it be Laurie Penny,…
I could be more disgusted but I’d have to be pretty drunk. Good thing it’s new year’s eve.
I would wager a dollar (no more) that this is a parody event. It’s a close call though because what was once called parody is now the regular daily news.
@2 prostheticconscience: That’s too bad, because it seems like these men would be much happier with mechanical women, and I imagine mechanical women would be less unhappy around them.
@37 you are referring to a “RealDoll” right
uncle frogy
How is this not fraud, as ridiculous as it is?
They aren’t even naming a venue. They want you to pay them first.
They claim Orlando, Florida.
Wouldn’t a prosecutor be interested in this?
Seems like the perfect place for…wait for it…#FLORIDAMAN
He could speak while completely drunk and naked on the secrets of his fame and success with a baby alligator latched to his junk just because.
That group photo has a lot of “Please don’t be seated next to me” in it.
I’ll always have a go at mansplaining to masplainers.
(Alas, it’s amusing, but not profitable)
I recognize there’s no point, but just for the record: If there were a Matriarchy convention, or a Womansplaining convention, these people would be screeching about radical feminist misandry and asserting they were always right about the left. Luckily, the existence of this convention gives me new ammo, so… thanks for proving that conservatives really are in favor of misogyny and male supremacy, guys!
(And the “they’re trolling” excuse won’t cover it given what they’re charging).
Cernovich…
Didn’t he take pride in raping his wife, and claimed he’s a better person for it? or am I confusing my misogynists?
I’ll never understand why these people value virginity, complacency, and submissivity in their partners – I mean, any and all of those things can be fine, but, damn, they are really missing out on some great sex…
Heh, heh, heh, great way to start the new year with a comedy post, get’s us all cheerful for the slog ahead. What? It’s serious? Oh my f**king god. May all these bozos be sodomized by a capsaicin coated eggbeater.
For those of you arguing that this is a fleece ’em and cancel kind of event, bad news:
I suspect that their numbers are inflated by including everyone who clicked “like” on Twitter and Facebook, and that most of those “conventions” have been a gang of guys meeting in a bar somewhere, but it probably is going to happen. There are plenty of gullible MRAs and incels and brainless macho men out there.
The “manosphere” reminds me of how great it is to live now and in a country with “modern” principles, a place that sees women (at least more or less) equal to men. The “manosphere” looks back in nostalgia to a time when women where everything but free and equal. I guess, the Taliban or that nasty Mormon splinter group (the name escapes me, sorry) should be role models for those guys, since they perfected treating women as subjects of lesser value. Patriarchy is cancer, everywhere on the globe, and should be fought, rejected and called out. Everywhere. “Tradition” is often but the fig leaf that patriarchy is hiding its ugly face behind. “Traditions”, “customs” etc. have to be examined critically, since many of them are only thin justifications to submit women to male supremacy. And religious traditions are especially useful in doing so. (Think of the Catholic Church and their “complementary roles” for men and women and their rejection of female priests and their ban of contraceptives.) I hope that the manosphere will never gain mass appeal. If that would happen, I see no hope for our species to ever improve.
The manosphere would be a lot more appealing if it were at the bottom of the hydrosphere.
As if his name appearing alongside Mike Cernovich and Stefan Molyneux weren’t enough of an indictment.
I can’t help wondering if this is a spoof.
Is anyone still in doubt that these people are just “pure-bred” neo-fascists? Really?