The curse of having Wisconsin as a neighbor


I had a terrible dream last night. I had to buy a gun, and not just any gun, but a high-powered assault rifle, to defend myself. I’d been browsing the interwebs before bed, and last thing I’d seen was this map.

How awful, I thought, that those irresponsible Wisconsonites next door are so slack in regulating their kangaroos.

So of course I dreamed of wanton kangaroos hopping across the border…wearing cheese hats and smuggling cases of LaCroix into my neighborhood. I had to shoot them.

Tonight I’m going to make a point of reading something less traumatic before bed — I’m about halfway through Kameron Hurley’s The Light Brigade, so that should be soothing. So far, there aren’t any kangaroos in it at all. Or LaCroix.

Comments

  1. Snarki, child of Loki says

    They can have our kangaroos when they pry their cold, dead bodies from the RW side of the Supreme Court.

    IOW, carry on.

  2. kingoftown says

    I’m surprised so many states have anti kangaroo laws. Aren’t there thousands of tigers in the US?

  3. Emily says

    Beware, we will be sending kangaroos in cheese hats across the border! OoOoooOOOoo!!11!

    In all seriousness, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with a kangaroo. I have to ask, though. What sort of epidemic kangaroo problem resulted in kangaroo ownership being outlawed in all those states?

  4. Allison says

    Just call me party-pooper ….

    I’m surprised so many states have anti kangaroo laws.

    My guess is that the laws aren’t specific to kangaroos. The laws I’m familiar with regulate the posession and/or ownership of “wild animals.” In my state, you have to have a license (from the state?) to do things like animal rescue (or keep a zoo, I assume.)

    I’m not sure what the criterion is for whether a particular animal is “wild,” since I’ve heard of ferrets and (de-scented) skunks as pets. However, I’ve never heard of kangaroos as pets.

  5. stroppy says

    I’m guessing the history of putting kangaroos in a boxing ring with humans may be a factor.

  6. microraptor says

    Interesting. When I was a kid, there was an exotic animal farm in my area that raised wallabies for sale as pets. I wonder if the law changed in my state since then or if the law is specific to certain species of macropods and not others.

  7. wzrd1 says

    Interestingly, last evening, just before bedtime, I saw a clip on Twaddle of kangaroos hopping through a dusting of snow, posted by a politician who was denying climate change.
    Oddly, I entirely failed to dream of weapons or kangaroos.
    Now, it’s likely I’ll be dreaming of kangaroos carrying cheese and all that I need to do to acquire the tasty delight is to catch them.
    Maybe I can trip one with my cane.

  8. jrkrideau says

    I have to admit I had to use google maps to figure out where Wisconsin was (I have enough problem figuring out where Minnesota is) but so far I am not too worried. We expect Minnesota or possible the RCMP to defend us.

    Err, what is LaCroix in this context?

  9. lochaber says

    I agree with Allison, I doubt there are all that many specific “it’s illegal to own/possess/transport/sell kangaroos in the state of X”

    I’m in CA, and while I don’t think it affects kangaroos, I believe there is a law forbidding the import of non-native predatory mammals (with exceptions for domestic dogs and cats)

  10. Akira MacKenzie says

    Shhh.. Don’t tell anyone, but kangaroos are legal in Wisconsin in an attempt to cross-breed them with dairy cattle so we can speed up butter production.

  11. wanderingelf says

    It should alarm every freedom-loving American that so many states oppressively abrogate the God-given right to own kangaroos. When you outlaw macropods, only outlaws will have macropods. Once you allow the government take away your exotic marsupials, how long before they take away your assault rifles and high-capacity magazines? It’s a slippery slope!

  12. says

    An Australian expression for someone who is mentally challenged is “They have Kangaroos loose in the top paddock”. That might help explain your neighbour.

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