Another story about Jacob Wohl — I’m still waiting for his 15 minutes to end. But he’s such an egregious liar and grifter that he’s a magnet for attention.
The son of lawyer and Fox News contributor David Wohl, Jacob showed an early eye for manipulation — though not for execution. As a teenager, he founded a series of hedge funds, claiming to manage 178 clients and $10 million in assets. But after an investor reported that he hadn’t been paid out in full by Wohl (who called himself the “Wohl of Wall Street”), the National Futures Association (NFA), the derivatives industry’s self-regulatory organization, quickly realized Wohl had been lying to investors about his experience and prowess as a means of securing their funds. In reality, he had 13 clients and $500,000 in assets. He also appeared to be funneling some profits into his mother’s account. Wohl was banned for life by the NFA, ending his nascent career as a hedgie.
Barred from the investment world, Wohl turned his sights on following in the footsteps of his father, a vocal Trump supporter. In 2017, Jacob began tweeting earnestly about the president, praising his stream-of-consciousness tweet storms as “the modern day version of FDR’s Fireside Chats.” It wasn’t long before Wohl built a sizable following, eventually amassing 185,000 followers. Around the same time, he also set up Surefire Intelligence, an unlicensed private investigation firm. He created a personal alias for that company: “Matthew Cohen.”
This story, however, is not primarily about Wohl. It’s about a woman named Carolyn Cass, who was willingly set up by Wohl to claim she’d been raped by Robert Mueller. She had apparently been assaulted by another man, but Mueller had an airtight alibi — he’d been in a different city at the time — and like all of Wohl’s schemes, it rapidly disintegrated into a shambles that would have humiliated a man with any shame. He does not have any.
The horrible part of the story is the oblivious Cass, a trust-fund baby who later receives a large inheritance and seems to fritter it away on a life of careless privilege. Whenever the money starts to run out, she decides to charge off to another “career” in pop music or art, seemingly unaware that those professions do require talent, skill, and discipline, all of which she lacks. It’s just a horror story of incompetence all around.
Then she wakes up and realizes that Wohl is a bad actor, and engages legal assistance. Smart, right? Except the lawyer she hires is…Michael Avenatti.
So in March, she called Michael Avenatti — yes, that Michael Avenatti. The onetime lawyer for Stormy Daniels was publicly on the hunt for Wohl. Less than two hours after they spoke, Avenatti claimed in a tweet that Wohl was under investigation for possessing illegal firearms, information Cass says he only could have gleaned from their call. (These assertions haven’t been confirmed; the LAPD doesn’t comment on information that could jeopardize a potential active investigation.) Five days later, Avenatti was arrested for embezzling from clients and attempting to extort Nike for more than $20 million, and is now under investigation for embezzling $300,000 from Daniels, too.
It’s one disaster after another, and all of it of her own doing. Yet she’s a pretty white woman from a wealthy Texas oil family, so you know she’ll just bounce back from it all and move on to another stupid pratfall.
I don’t think I like any of the people in this story.