Jacob Wohl and Laura Loomer are in Minneapolis. Be still my heart.


The pinnacle of Jacob Wohl’s career was his attempt to shut down the Mueller investigation by cobbling up a fake company, Surefire, and spreading the rumor that they had info on a sex scandal involving Robert Mueller. He’s a far-right, fanatical conspiracy theorist who is paranoid about Muslims. He’s also not very bright.

Laura Loomer’s career reached it’s peak when she handcuffed herself to the door of Twitter’s New York office door to protest the fact that her account had been banned for racist remarks. She gave up when she got cold. She is obsessed with Muslims. She is also not very bright.

It was kismet. These two shallow, untalented, lazy people who run after any media attention have joined forces to…chase after more media attention. They have failed to name their partnership in media whoredom, though, so I’ve decided to give this whiny duo one.

Let’s call them the Chucklefuck Twins.

Anyway, they have paired up to engage in another media blitz that will be just as successful as their previous efforts, I’m sure. They have picked a target, hired a security and film crew, and have dived on their chosen Gotham City to right wrongs, reveal the villainous underbelly of the scabrous slums, and document the evil that lurks there.

They’re in Minneapolis.

They chose to descend on the city in February, which tells you how clever they are. Loomer got cold in NY in November. We’re at -5°C here on the prairies, and we’re supposed to be hit by a major blizzard tonight. I live here in outstate Minnesota, and I wouldn’t travel to Minneapolis today — we know that this time of year the roads are hazardous and the weather can turn on you.

I guess we’re an irresistable target to racist xenophobes, though. Minnesota has the most refugees per capita of any state. We’re honestly open and friendly, we encourage people to move here, we think it’s great that they form distinctive communities. We’ve got a large Hmong population, for instance — they and other groups have been an asset to our universities and make our cities diverse and interesting. It turns out that an atmosphere of tolerance improves the quality of life for everyone.

But the Chucklefuck Twins aren’t here for the Hmong. Oh, no.

Wait. The total population of Somalis and people of Somali descent in Minnesota is between 40 and 50 thousand, and many of them were born here. We get a few thousand refugees from all sorts of places, not just Somalia, every year. His math is nonsense.

I’ll return to that “third world ghettos” comment in a moment.

That first bit is correct. Minnesota now is populated mainly by descendants of immigrants from Germany and Scandinavia who displaced the native Ojibwe and Dakota nations. Speaking for my own family of Swedes and Norwegians, one thing that may help make for a more tolerant community is that we remember and take pride in our ancestry — people still celebrate Swedish and Norwegian holidays here, and make traditional foods — so we’re sympathetic when other people arrive here and try to preserve their own culture. We’re not being taken advantage of here, we have our own family stories of moving to a harsh environment and both trying to adapt and retain our identities. Somalis, welcome! What do you like to eat? Shall we share?

The Chucklefuck Twins are not making friends here. At the start of this video, they pan across our snow-covered streets and declare Minnesota not a very pleasant place, it’s a wonder why anyone wants to come here (you showed up in February, Chucklefucks!) before making a big complaint about the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota.

They showed up at the Center and quickly determined that Jews are banned, and they only help Muslim Somalis and claim that they were kicked out and the door locked behind them, when they disingenuously say they were only there to see if they could help their oppressed Jewish relatives in Europe.

I will just point out the official position and role of the ILCM.

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota (ILCM) is a nonprofit agency that provides immigration legal assistance to low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota. ILCM also works to educate Minnesota communities and professionals about immigration matters, and advocates for state and federal policies which respect the universal human rights of immigrants.

They help “low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota“. They are not a travel agency. They are there for people in Minnesota who need legal and educational assistance.

The Chucklefuck Twins showed up at their door with a film crew and bodyguards. They were obviously not in need of their kind of help.

The Chucklefuck Twins are lying assholes, trying to gin up controversy.

And that’s right…they have hired a top-notch security team and are driving around Minneapolis in armored cars because they are so terrified.

This is ridiculous. No one cares about two paranoid, xenophobic chucklefucks wandering about the city. No one is conspiring to go after them. They’re here for two reasons: because Ilhan Omar (“The Jihadi” as they call her) was elected to congress from here, and because we have a neighborhood nicknamed “Little Mogadishu” in Minneapolis (we also have a place called “Little Canada” — I don’t know if it’s on the Chucklefuck Twins’ itinerary).

Wohl mentions that he thought he was in the movie Black Hawk Down when he drove into the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood. Right. This place.

That, by the way, is the “third world ghetto” he’s complaining about. It’s located right around the West Bank of the University of Minnesota campus. I’ve been there many times — without an armored car. If you want to try some African food of all varieties, not just Ethiopian, it’s the place to be. (I wonder where the Chucklefuck Twins are dining tonight? I doubt that they’ll be taking advantage of their opportunities here.)

It’s also the nicest “ghetto” I’ve ever seen. I’ve been to neighborhoods in North Philadelphia that look bombed out and crumbling, but this is a pleasant part of Minneapolis. If you’re ever in the Twin Cities, you should explore it, because we’re not all Swedes with funny accents dining on potatoes and salt herring.

Good god but the Chucklefuck Twins are appallingly stupid bigots.

Comments

  1. says

    Shouldn’t they be wearing pith helmets and brandishing riding crops as they go about inspecting and passing judgement upon alien cultures?

  2. says

    because we’re not all Swedes with funny accents dining on potatoes and salt herring.

    But swedes are delicious!

    Enormous offices to hand out free stuff to newly arrived Somalis.

    This is something that makes me soooo angry. The caretaker at our school will go on about how “g*ps**s” are travelling around Europe claiming “10.000€” in benefits. (I’m currently looking for allies and then I’ll try to make sure he tones down that shit because if he doesn’t I might punch him).
    I mean, how deep does your hatred have to be that you believe that shit? Germany probably has the most generous benefits outside Scandinavia (that sentence should make you weep) and since the Roma are EU citizens and not refugees they cannot claim any benefits in any EU country because freedom of movement only applies when you work there.
    Roma families* who don’t have a job get nothing but the 190€ in child subsidy and then they have to live off that and charity, meaning that the kids are often malnourished. How could you believe that they have tens of thousands in cash stacked away somewhere while their kids go without food and medical attention?
    Oh, right, you are a racist scumbag who hates them.

    *Because we cannot accept that they are second class citizens and prosecuted minorities in their own countries. The EU is the bastion of human rights therefore there cannot be refugees from within the EU

  3. specialffrog says

    So are there no legal consequences for falsifying documents in order to accuse a federal agent of a crime?

  4. rpjohnston says

    The Chucklefuck Twins remind me of that Star Wars episode, you know the one with Evil Spock Goatee. Evil Kirk and Normal Kirk get switched, and Normal Kirk figures out how things work in the Asshole Universe well enough to force his way back to his own universe. He’s terrified of what the barbarian version of himself might have done to the crew, only to find him safely banging away in the brig: Spock calmly explains that Asshole Kirk had no idea how to adapt to being Not (As Much) Of An Asshole, tried to start a fight, and got put in timeout.

    Older conservatives like Newt grew up when culture tried to be Normal and know how to code-switch to normie speak. But Chucklefuck Twins grew up entirely in Asshole Culture and don’t know how to act like normal people. Stating obvious, insulting lies to peoples’ face with a shit-eating grin was how they got ahead in Asshole Culture, where the biggest asshole gets the followers. Out here, all it’s going to earn them eventually is a nice, solid two-by-four.

  5. raven says

    The Chucklefuck Twins showed up at their door with a film crew and bodyguards. They were obviously not in need of their kind of help.

    The Chucklefuck Twins are lying assholes, trying to gin up controversy.

    And that’s right…they have hired a top-notch security team and are driving around Minneapolis in armored cars because they are so terrified.

    Something isn’t adding up here.
    1. I can believe that as PZ says repeatedly, they are rather stupid, not very bright.
    2. So who is financing their little disaster to Minneapolis?
    There are a lot of reasons why I’m not wandering aimlessly around Minneapolis in February.
    It’s cold and I don’t like snow and ice.
    Not least, I don’t have the time.
    I have responsibilities including working for a living.

    .3. Let’s see.
    Wandering around in a strange city without any sort of obvious job.
    Hiring a film crew.
    Renting an armored car.
    Hiring a bunch of body guards.
    This all costs money. Lots of money.

    .4. So who is financing their pathetic efforts?
    Probably some rich right wingnut assholes from somewhere.
    Could be the Mercers, Alex Jones, Fox NoNews, any number of fundie xian organizations, etc..

  6. says

    About the “disastrous outcomes” in Germany:
    – The last time I personally met a refugee, he asked for the times of church services.
    – Local newspaper articles about refugees in our small town are about the state of municipal planning of housing capacity, or about the organizing of volunteers to integrate new arrivals.
    – Enraged readers’ comments in the newspaper tend to be about e.g. not enough parking space in the town centre. The last one about refugees was years ago.

  7. says

    It’s not clear where they get their money. Wohl is an ex-hedge fund manager who exaggerated his income and was also barred fro life from the business for his unethical behavior. He comes from a wealthy family, though, so maybe Mommy & Daddy are paying for this jaunt.

    Laura Loomer doesn’t seem to have ever had any kind of real job. She worked with James O’Keefe at Project Veritas for a while.

    Both are no-talent freeloaders who subsist on donations from other right-wing nuts.

  8. lumipuna says

    Jews are banned at the Immigration Law Centre of Minnesota

    To quote someone on Twitter, this news is “Wohl, if true”

  9. nomdeplume says

    Another case where Godwin’s Law seves us badly. I can see no difference between what these a***holes are saying and doing and what was said and done about Jewish people in 1930s Germany. The aim is the same – dehumanise the targets, make the rest of the population angry at the victims.

  10. komarov says

    Wohl mentions that he thought he was in the movie Black Hawk Down when he drove into the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood. Right. This place.

    Well, he is driving around a – to him – strange place in an armoured car, accompanied by – armed? – bodyguards, feeling all noble and self-righteous. Maybe that’s enough to give him movie flashbacks.

  11. says

    Giliell

    This is something that makes me soooo angry. The caretaker at our school will go on about how “g*ps**s” are travelling around Europe claiming “10.000€” in benefits. (I’m currently looking for allies and then I’ll try to make sure he tones down that shit because if he doesn’t I might punch him).
    I mean, how deep does your hatred have to be that you believe that shit? Germany probably has the most generous benefits outside Scandinavia (that sentence should make you weep) and since the Roma are EU citizens and not refugees they cannot claim any benefits in any EU country because freedom of movement only applies when you work there.
    Roma families* who don’t have a job get nothing but the 190€ in child subsidy and then they have to live off that and charity, meaning that the kids are often malnourished. How could you believe that they have tens of thousands in cash stacked away somewhere while their kids go without food and medical attention?

    That sounds suspiciously similar to the American concept of the “Welfare Queen”.

  12. janiceclanfield says

    All their adventures are pretty expensive for an average working couple to afford.
    So…
    Where do they get their funding? Hmmmmm??

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