Oh no! The libs castrated the cookies!


I am totally confused now. Tammy Bruce is on Fox News with Tucker Carlson arguing that gingerbread cookies are obviously male.

So, uh…they have penises? Or Y chromosomes? Or higher testosterone levels? Those are the usual criteria these loons use to argue for the inviolability and absolute rigidity of the male/female binary. Cookies don’t have any of those.

Are they finally admitting that gender is a social construct, that in the absence of biological markers they get to dictate by convention what sex a piece of baked dough is?

Also, Tucker Carlson has been spiritually neutered. But we all already knew that.

Comments

  1. larpar says

    Gingerbread cookies
    Cookies are made of dough
    Pillsbury Dough Boy
    Cookies are boys

    You can’t argue with logic like that.

  2. wzrd1 says

    Odd to me. I’ve rarely experienced pareidolia, but see what is present, discarding nonsense or seeing what is present, but camouflaged.
    I could literally look at, what to a group of 20+ men ignored as a tuft of grass, see eyes and resolve the face and weapon of one of our scouts, wave hello to him and call him by name.
    I actually have to work at experiencing pareidolia.

    That said, a cookie is a fucking cookie, a treat to occasionally, rarely engage with, lest one grow overweight and suffer a number of deleterious conditions.
    Given my genetics, I’d grow larger than the Battlestar Galactica, with hips the size of Jupiter and my first heart attack would be in three minutes.
    And well, I prefer a healthy diet, carbs are a significant part, as I do use fuel a lot, greens are also important, protein, my guidance has always been, eat as much meat as you can collect with a knife. When saying that, I display a knife that ranges between four and six inches.
    And I really like being the eldest in the entire combined family to not be diabetic. Type 2, insulin resistant.

    That said, gingerbread is attractive. Ginger and with good gingerbread, assorted other spices do taste a lot better than simply salt and pepper. I properly spice foods, salt is rarely added, save if there’s a massive heat wave and I’ll be outdoors. Hence, why my gingerbread cookies are still sitting in the cookie jar, for an entire near-month, with only four consumed.

    So, male or female? They’re cooked flour, sugar and whatever spice mix or single spice someone else chose.
    And honestly, when it comes to food, I far prefer to die by my own hand. ;)
    I’ll do quite well.
    Which reminds me, two artichokes on the shopping list for tomorrow. One at home, one for lunch. Two more mother-in-laws, or something. ;)
    OK, broccoli and other green that doesn’t upset a delicate balance with the thyroid medication and production.
    Having a love of mustard and turnip greens, kale as well. Yeah, a tomorrow calculation. Maybe asparagus, I love that as well.

  3. unclefrogy says

    sure they are nuts the both of them and truly seeing threats and conflict every where. I think what is at root of this one is the story of the gingerbread man by Eric Kimmel a children’s story book. no one is trying to neuter him they are trying to eat him so runs ,runs as fast as he can!
    uncle frogy

  4. =8)-DX says

    Mum used to make gingerbread women alongside the men, it was a different cutout, with a dress. That said, no, the biscuit isn’t “obviously a man”, it’s whatever you imagine it to be, either or no gender or both.
    =8)-DX

  5. anthrosciguy says

    So exactly which bits of the cookies do Tammy and Tucker leave on the plate? They don’t eat the whole cookie, do they? I mean, they can’t.

  6. F.O. says

    Their job is to stir the pot, and they’re REALLY good at it.
    Provoke, manufacture outrage, blow your mind with their artificial stupidity, overwhelm and in the end tire you.
    Keep this in mind when you answer to their antics.

  7. lotharloo says

    Okay, okay, we need to make a “TERROR ALERT” for all those heterosexual conservative men: DON’T EACH THE CRUTCH PART OF GINGERBREAD COOKIES, OR ELSE YOU’LL TURN GAY!!!!!! The cookies have invisible penises!‌ In fact, it is better not to even touch the crutch area at all, grab them by the leg or the arm, eat around the invisible penis, and then throw the rest away!‌ OR‌ YOU WILL TURN GAYYYY!!!

  8. F.O. says

    @JuliusGoat has one of the most sensible comments on this: https://twitter.com/JuliusGoat/status/1075363087006478337

    Question: How is insisting that gingerbread men are MEN somehow less politically correct than choosing to call them gingerbread people?
    How is the former somehow the position that isn’t pushing a political worldview, while the latter obviously is?

    <

    blockquote>
    WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT RACE yells the man who wrote a 90,000 word screed on why Human Torch is canonically white.
    </blockquote

  9. robro says

    Perhaps she and Tucker should read “The Gingerbread Man”, an old children’s story about an arrogant cookie who runs away from the kitchen of the little old woman, bragging that “no one can catch me,” only to be eaten by the fox while crying “I’m half gone. I’m three-quarters gone. I’m all gone.”

  10. DonDueed says

    The cookie in the photo is clearly male. He’s totally bald!

    Er, um… unless she shaved her head. Or is undergoing chemo. Never mind.

  11. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    re @10

    I think that is where their stuck, the title of the story is The Gingerbread MAN (emphasis added). Which must be respected throughout time immemorial. They are also sticking with man as a value that does not depend on appearances, once the label is applied it is irremovable. While claiming to be free thinkers they are clearly inflexible in everything they claim to “think”. The quotes indicate is a disguise for holding implanted ideas adamantly with no consideration possible.

    thank you for letting me share this nonsense

  12. jrkrideau says

    Of course cookies are masculine. Just not in English. En français, we have le biscuit.
    Perhaps the speaker is a bit confused as to where she is and what language she is speaking? After all this is Fox News.

  13. zetopan says

    “Tucker Carlson has been spiritually neutered.”

    And all this time I thought that he had been pithed!

  14. lucifersbike says

    @jkrideau. For what it’s worth; the German for cookie is neuter (das Plätzchen), but a biscuit is masculine (der Keks). Gingerbread is also masculine (der Lebkuchen).

  15. Pierce R. Butler says

    Why do Tammy ‘n’ Tucker waste time on a little “man” who obviously isn’t WHITE?!?

  16. komarov says

    Maybe the argument comes from a more technical perspective: The gingerbreadwomen are kept as breeding stock while the gingerbreadmen go on sale. Technically speaking it’s still nonsense but … er … you can’t argue with logic like that.

  17. taraskan says

    Don’t tell them about my aunt’s bakery, then. They make gingerpeople, in both male and female varieties, and have for a decade now.

  18. mcfrank0 says

    It all boils down to “You can’t tell me what to do! I refuse to be politically correct”. This is all despite the fact that, in general, the Left is not telling anyone what they MUST do; we are simply sharing our opinion. Overall it is the Right that is telling us what MUST be done.

    I keep wanting to ask my friends on the Right “why does something this bother you so much?”.

  19. Saad says

    Coming up on Sam Harris’s podcast: There are fundamental differences between gingerbreadmen and gingerbreadwomen.

  20. says

    Their idiots but they are not wrong about gingerbread cookies being usually coded as male. You have the more than a century old story which clearly labels them as male (The Gingerbread Man or Boy), you have various characters in other works that have gingerbread characters coded as male, i.e. Shrek. More to the point, Gingerbread women are given skirts (or bows) to mark them as female which is missing in the image at the top of the post. I don’t have a problem calling them gingerbread people it’s just yeah I usually see clearly male coded ones.

  21. curbyrdogma says

    Wait a minute – I thought “sugar and spice, and everything nice” was what GIRLS were made of…

  22. leerudolph says

    Coming up on Sam Harris’s podcast: There are fundamental differences between gingerbreadmen and gingerbreadwomen.

    I do not look forward to Jordan Peterson tracing gingerfolk back to lobsterdom. Although I believe there are Chinese lobster dishes that use fresh ginger (do any Chinese cuisines make significant use of powdered ginger, I wonder).

  23. says

    Mike Smith
    Does the expression “teetering on the brink of an epiphany” ring a bell?
    Duh “they are male coded because they lack the usual signs of deviance like skirts and bows” is as close as you can get to understanding that we live in a world where “male” is the unmarked default and “female” is the maked exception.
    Let me tell you, they’re all cookies. I can bake them in a hundred different shapes (I’m not exaggerating, I’ve got that many cookie cutters) and they are still all the same. Are the crocodile shaped ones all male crocodiles because I don’t put pink icing on them?

  24. rq says

    Are the crocodile shaped ones all male crocodiles because I don’t put pink icing on them?

    They are obviously all girl crocodiles, because crocodiles are always smiling, like good girls and women do. Duh.

  25. komarov says

    Re: Giliell (#28):

    I can bake them in a hundred different shapes (I’m not exaggerating, I’ve got that many cookie cutters) and they are still all the same. Are the crocodile shaped ones all male crocodiles because I don’t put pink icing on them?

    Apparently, which makes me kind of curious to see the reaction to transgendered gingerbreadfolk. All you’d have to do is claim the crocodiles are male until the pink icing is applied. Mere semantics, arguably, but then “mere semantics” also summarises the entire “war on christmas” which has been going for ages. FOX evidently needs all the help they can get to fill airtime, so they’d probably pick up this “story” as well.

  26. says

    All you’d have to do is claim the crocodiles are male until the pink icing is applied.

    What if they’re women in male drag? (While being less prominent, drag kings also exist)

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