There was this mysterious large black sarcophagus found in Egypt, and for a while, there were wild rumors of evil curses and imprisoned demons and HORRIBLE FATES AWAIT ALL WHO OPEN IT. Sadly, the only things in it were three skeletons and lots of reeking sewage that had seeped in.
Addressing media fears that disturbing the tomb could trigger an implacable Pharaoh’s curse, Mr Waziri declared: “We’ve opened it and, thank God, the world has not fallen into darkness.
“I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus… and here I stand before you … I am fine.”
Dang. I’d almost been hoping for an apocalypse that would put us out of our misery.
Despite that, the site has now been cleared of people amid fears the sarcophagus could release lethal toxic fumes, Egypt’s state-owned newspaper Al-Ahram says.
So, you’re saying, there’s still hope?
That’s what they always say right before they’re possessed by some alien water demon thing.
The skeletons found were some of the food from the night before who hadn’t yet been fully devoured.
I was hoping they’d finally find Alexander The Great’s mummy.
I was also hoping it was Alexander. That would have been a mad fantastic find.
They’ll still learn interesting things from the chunks in the chum but I can’t imagine what a crushing disappointment. Too bad they didn’t Geraldo Rivera there to do a live-stream.
“Too bad they didn’t [find] Geraldo Rivera [in the sarcophagus]”
I would have worded that a bit differently.
Not to be That Guy, but Cthulhu wouldn’t be coming out of a black sarcophagus. You’re thinking Nyarlathotep.
Too early to be so smug. In 50 years time most of the archaeologists who opened the sarcophagus will be dead, obviously because of the curse.
Now people want to drink the sewage.
Who says it’s a sarcophagus? Cthulhu, stop leaving your fast food containers on the sea bed, you n-dimensional litter bug!
The world fell into darkness two years ago.