But they have to be relevant. I just opened my mailbox this morning to see a flood of spam from people making inquiries about submitting guest posts — you know, those things that would be better labeled guest commercials masquerading as content. I do not accept those. I block those. Especially when they praise my quality content and chatter about how avidly they follow my blog, and then offer to write a post for me about cake decorating. It’s true, we do have an unfortunate shortage of posts about cake around here.
Other things I’ve been offered as articles to enhance my website, besides cake: résumé writing, top gadgets for CEOs, stock tips, the best mobile phones, home decorating, cheese, and sex positions. You’ll have to let me know if you’ve been missing those topics, and why you think I’m not qualified to cover them and should get an outsider perspective.
My favorites, though, are the knowledgable fans of the Panda’s Thumb who write to me (why me?).
I’d love to connect with you and see if you’re currently accepting columnist pitches for Panda’s Thumb, The?
I do love the obviously handwritten, personal request. Also, there is a noticeable dearth of articles about cheese at Panda’s Thumb, The.
The ones I get are not nearly as entertaining sounding.
mmmmmm
cheese
I guess the mildly deranged penguin’s idea for a post on her new app to help cheese write CEO’s résumés whilst they decorate their stock with p0rn is not quite on the radar. Probably just as well, since she mostly just eats the cheese, breaking the causal chain.
Not a guest post, merely a sea monster! https://imgur.com/gallery/xxr0Wjj
Ken White of Popehat has an entertaining way of dealing with such proposals.
So Panda’s Thumb, The is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Pharyngul, A?
I would be enthusiastically in favour of guest posts about cheese, but only those written by the mildly deranged penguin.
Not enough of this in the world:
https://www.happinessishomemade.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/IG-Octopus-Cupcake.jpg
If I wanted to hear all about cheesy sex résumés I’d prop up the bar at my local pub.
How about a guest post about making this cake? https://i.pinimg.com/736x/9e/f9/27/9ef9279a41de35d32012fd15b3273a68–sailor-cake-octopus-cake.jpg
Not a guest post either, perhaps something you’d like to write about:
The mildly deranged penguin appears to have noticed this request. She is currently searching for her favorite cheesetyper — an old Underice Manual — which, I thought, had become so clogged with small bits of cheese it had turned bright green with blued hair and run away. The “plan”, insofar as I understand the exited screams between gobbling grog and quaffing cheese†, is to write her Great Travelogue, Searching for the Cheese Plantations of My Youth (or Atlantis Sometimes Sank Without My Help). However, she’s started that, several Great Novels, and other Great Literary Works many times. I think she even managed to write almost a whole paragraph once.
† Most people quaff their grog and gobble the cheese. She also prefers that technique, but can get so distracted she doesn’t pay too much attention, at least not until she pours the mug of cheese into her ear.
I get those. I am always tempted (but never tempted enough) to tell them yes, but that they are required to write in original rhyming verse–and that their rhyme and meter must scan, as I have a reputation to uphold.
Is there such a thing as too many posts about cake? I think not. If you need cake recipe posts, I volunteer as tribute! And I promise not to bury the actual recipe under 5,000 words about family traditions that include walking in the snow and the origins of my grandma’s cake pan back in the Old Country and my 10 year long quest to find a replica at Williams Sonoma.
Cheese and Sex positions ?The mind boggles .