There’s going to be an international incident, isn’t there?


Our Prezdent is off on a grand tour of Asia, scoping out golf courses and meeting with his boss, Putin. We can get a taste of his diplomacy from comments he made last year after North Korea launched a few missiles.

Trump questioned Japan’s decision not to shoot down the missiles when he met or spoke by phone with leaders from Southeast Asian countries over recent months to discuss how to respond to the threats from North Korea, the sources said.

The U.S. president said he could not understand why a country of samurai warriors did not shoot down the missiles, the sources said.

He’s probably wondering right now why he wasn’t greeted by geisha girls and kabuki performers in Tokyo.

We’re all going to die, aren’t we?

Comments

  1. rpjohnston says

    Once he gets to China he’ll be asking aides which menu items aren’t made with dog meat.

  2. redwood says

    I watched scenes of Turnip playing golf today. PM Abe took him to an exclusive club where caddies are provided, not golf carts. Turnip looked distinctly unhappy to be actually walking the course. I’m sure they got a cart for him after the first hole. I wonder if he cheated as usual while playing.
    The Japanese media are being very circumspect about the Orange One. Maybe they don’t quite know what to make of him. I was surprised to see scenes of protestors (90% non-Japanese) on TV today. I usually only read about protests in the foreign press. Maybe it was okay to show them because they weren’t against Abe.
    In the meantime, all coin lockers were closed and all trashcans removed in every train station in Tokyo because of bomb fears. The fact that Turnip will never set foot in a train station doesn’t seem to have been factored in.

  3. rietpluim says

    Bringing down missiles with the daitō? The samurai were skilled warriors, no doubt, but that would require a superhuman kind of skilled.

  4. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Pacific Rim what “he” likes (double entendre)
    “He” visited “his” golf course, delaying the official greeting ceremony.
    Did “he” really exclaim that the president of Hawaii refused to meet “him”? It sounds just like “him”, seems parody has been overtaken by “his” incomprehensibility, and is now really hard to discern.
    I recently sarcastically commented “elsewhere” that SK can keep him, we don’t want “him” back. SK has fine “residence” for “him” with 24 hr security to keep him “safe”.
    With no authority, I’ll just express my imagination to get it out.
    Thank you for reading

  5. says

    why a country of samurai warriors did not shoot down the missiles

    Because we fucking disarmed the fuck out of them, and occupation commander Douglas MacArthur deliberately attempted culturecide to eradicate Japan’s warrior nature – including suppressing religion and promoting christianity, seizing priceless cultural artifacts, and mandating disarmament of the government and the populace. The fucking samurai had their swords taken away, smuggled home in G.I.’s kit-bags and sold at garage sales. The civilian economy of the samurai was turned into making cheap crap for import to the US, and eventually cheaper (and better) cars and consumer products, that destroyed that sector of the US economy.

    I probably don’t need to say it, but Trump is such a fucking asshole that he makes other fucking assholes embarrassed when they realize that they’re getting lumped in with him.

  6. lumipuna says

    Did “he” really exclaim that the president of Hawaii

    I’m pretty sure I saw this idea originate as a Twitter joke

  7. microraptor says

    He’s probably wondering right now why he wasn’t greeted by geisha girls and kabuki performers in Tokyo.

    Are you kidding? He’s probably wondering when he gets to see the freeze-ray tanks the country uses to defend itself from Godzilla.

  8. Tethys says

    After reading the news item where the Pentagon is claiming we need to invade North Korea to preempt aggression I had to do circular breathing and chill for awhile. O brave new world, how I hope Mueller can preempt the endless war with Eastasia.

  9. Moggie says

    rietpluim:

    Bringing down missiles with the daitō? The samurai were skilled warriors, no doubt, but that would require a superhuman kind of skilled.

    I’ll bet Minamoto no Tametomo could have had a crack at it. Dude once sank a warship using a bow and arrow.
    My expectations of Trump are now so low that I’m mostly relieved that he managed to avoid comparing himself to the emperor, or mentioning kamikaze pilots.

  10. Moggie says

    Tethys:

    O brave new world, how I hope Mueller can preempt the endless war with Eastasia.

    Well, it is one of the classic blunders.

  11. says

    rietplum @6 Daito? Nah, zen archery, man.

    We’re all going to die, aren’t we?

    Yes; hopefully, not all at once.

  12. says

    If this were a betting thing, my money would be on Trump saying to the Japanese PM something along the lines of, “And we have nukes. Do you have any idea what nukes can do?”

  13. Moggie says

    I liked the Onion’s line: “Trump to meet with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe for a series of unilateral talks”.

  14. microraptor says

    just john @18:

    He’d probably tell the Japanese PM that he should be thankful that America has nukes to protect Japan from hostile invaders.

  15. Dark Jaguar says

    The last time Japan used their samurai heritage, Pearl Harbor happened. Modern Japan has tried to distance themselves and learn from that mistake ever since. Also, they have a constitution (written in part by the US) that forbids having a standing army. They have interpreted it to allow a purely defensive force, but the point remains that Japan can’t invade any more.