In which I sonically modify your DNA


This is a new one. We’re changing people’s DNA with “frequencies” to make them hate Trump.

I believe what happened on November 8 is the enemy has literally sent out a frequency, Taylor said, and it agitated and took control, basically, of those who have their DNA that was turned over to the enemy. That’s what’s happening. The Illuminati, the Freemasons, all these people, their main goal is to change the DNA of man and they’re doing it through these frequencies.

Taylor claimed that he is getting bombarded with emails from Christians who are being isolated by their friends and families because of their support for Trump and that is because their DNA is being controlled by the enemy.

In case you’re wondering what this dangerous frequency is, he mentions later that it is…440 Hz. That’s right, it’s a mundane audible tone, A above middle C. I have no idea how a relatively low-energy sound is supposed to change DNA in specific ways, or how tweaking somatic DNA is supposed to modify your thoughts about politics, but here is the sound:

Bwahahahaha! You fools! You listened to it, and I just manipulated your DNA! Now you must obey all of my commands.

Say, “Yes, Master.”

Anyway, it turns out that there are a lot of conspiracy theories that tout the superiority of 432 Hz over 440 Hz, largely based on stupid numerological arguments and assertions that Josef Goebbels favored 440, making it a Nazi wavelength.

Which means his argument is backwards. If 440 Hz is a Nazi-compatible frequency, shouldn’t it be making us like Trump more?

Comments

  1. cartomancer says

    Hah! Joke’s on you Myers! I was listening with the speakers on mute!

    Mind you, my DNA is half Marxist and half frog anyway, so it probably wouldn’t make much difference.

  2. Mark Dowd says

    I will never understand how anybody can be so fucking stupid as to believe that “frequencies” (of what? What is vibrating?) can not only change your DNA, but have such a highly specific effect.

    I literally cannot understand it.

  3. chris says

    Le sigh. At least they know the eigenvalue. They may have trouble getting the eigenvector.

    Of course changing any structure changes both, so they will have start all over.

    As a former structural dynamics engineer I am so very amused by idiots going on about “frequency” and “vibration.” I sincerely doubt they even know what a “Hertz” is. “Wait, what hurts?” ;-)

  4. monad says

    So by this logic, everyone who’s heard normally-tuned music should hate Trump? So Guthrie’s guitar really was a machine to kill fascists?

  5. jrkrideau says

    @ 6 chigau
    I don´t dislike Trump any more than before but I have this desire to howl at the moon. Coincidence?

  6. freemage says

    I have, since I was a child, loved the inanity of a theory that says there’s evil mind-controlling cabalists out there who somehow never managed to actually control minds in an effective manner. Wouldn’t it have been better for the Illuminati/Freemasons/Jews/Satanists/Girls Scouts of America to deploy this attack BEFORE Trump got elected?

  7. robro says

    A440 (the Stuttgart pitch) has been the standard pitch for A-above-middle-C in the American music industry since 1926, and is internationally accepted. It’s use dates to the mid-19th century. It’s a standard used in manufacturing music instruments and equipment, as well as tuning orchestras and even a bunch of old stoners at a jam session and ale party tonight. Believe me, you don’t want to mess with A440.

  8. Larry says

    And orchestras everywhere are in on it! They always tune up to middle A. You go in a Trump-lovin’ Wagner fan and leave a John Tesh lover.

  9. flange says

    I play (viola) in 4 string quartets every week. We always tune to A 440. I promise you, I could not hate Trump (GW Bush, Reagan) any more than I do now.
    (Many orchestras today tune to A 442, 443Hz or higher to get a “brighter” sound.)

  10. says

    As the article PZ linked to notes the pitch for A has varied over last few centuries from 415 to 470 hertz, depending on where and when you were tuning. Some orchestras and bands tune to A=444 hertz, and you can find similar bafflegab explaining why this should be the “true” tuning.

    You can find music on YouTube that has re-pitched electronically so A is supposedly 432 hertz. I find this amusing, since a lot of the stuff wasn’t recorded and/or released with A at 440 hertz in the first place. For example “Strawberry Fields Forever” was assembled from two different takes of the tune that were recorded in different keys and tempos. To get them in key and tempo with each other the speed of one was slowed down slightly and the other sped up slightly. So downtuning it by 8 hertz isn’t going to result in it matching A=432 hz.

  11. consciousness razor says

    Taylor claimed that he is getting “bombarded with emails” from Christians who are being isolated by their friends and families because of their support for Trump and that is “because their DNA is being controlled by the enemy.”

    Hmmm… the As are all of the rational pitch classes,* and these people are enemies of rationality. It’s like garlic for vampires or something**. So it does sort of make sense. Okay, it doesn’t, but it could at least make for an extremely boring sci-fi/fantasy story. You’ve got to grant them that much.

    *In twelve-tone equal temperament or TET. Of course, people could’ve chosen any other integer to correspond to one reference pitch or another, in our arbitrary physical units. But however that’s settled, the others are derived from it and the twelfth-root of two and are thus irrational.
    **I like garlic too.

  12. consciousness razor says

    I think it would be better if a very low C = 1 Hz. Then we get middle C = 256 Hz instead of 261.63 (plus tax). Much better. Everything else would still be kind of a mess. And it’s never going to happen, even though most would never notice the difference. But I would sleep better at night.

  13. consciousness razor says

    Sorry, I had already rounded up as a reflex, and it’s actually 261.62 (plus tax).

  14. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Some of the bands I played in tuned to A = 444 Hz. What did that do to my DNA?

  15. mailliw says

    It’s best to play 440 Hz and 622.254 Hz together.

    A and E flat, a flat fifth, otherwise known as the devil’s interval.

  16. jazzlet says

    Well it disturbed my dog, but he wouldn’t like Trump anyway, mainly because she doesn’t like most humans, on the other hand …

  17. some bastard on the internet says

    robro @16

    A440 (the Stuttgart pitch) has been the standard pitch for A-above-middle-C in the American music industry since 1926, and is internationally accepted.

    Aha! Proof of the conspiracy!

  18. Nemo says

    @cr #22:

    Then we get middle C = 256 Hz instead of 261.63 (plus tax). Much better.

    My father had a set of tuning forks that were that way, presumably meant for some medical purpose. “Scientific Pitch”.

  19. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    In the 1980s, before those fancy, clip-on electronic tuning aids, I had to tune my guitar using a tuning fork, and the standard was the 440 A, and I had a couple tuning forks of that frequency. I was around the 440 A all the time as a teenager, and I don’t remember any bad effects. So the 440Hz tone can’t possibly be changing my DNA to make me hate Trump, because I’ve found Trump to be annoying and sexist and classist for as long as I’ve known about him, and racist for almost that long.

    So, checkmate conspiracy theor…

    …wait a minute…

  20. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    So, does this have anything to do with the inability of Trump to get musicians to play at his inauguration?

  21. Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y says

    just where do people get such absurd ideas?

    “I dunno, I found it in my armpit…”

  22. says

    Music involves numbers in various ways, and humans have a weakness for making up weird relations between numbers. So it’s no surprise we see crank ideas associated with music.