The Anti-Gwyneth


Gwyneth Paltrow is feeling a slight irritation despite being cosseted away in her airy palace of privilege and pretense, raking in money for peddling quackery. She’s challenging critics to “bring their A-game”; her work is such lazy crap that I doubt that is necessary, but I’m also confident she’ll continue to skate along, skimming cash from her fellow rich white women until, of course, the Revolution.

Anyway, she has also pissed off Jen Gunter. Goopy Gwyneth is in trouble, although she doesn’t know it yet. Eventually, if you continue to blithely babble anti-scientific nonsense like this:

More and more scientists will start exposing you.

Gwyneth doesn’t need to worry, though. Like Chopra or Dr Oz or the Health Ranger, she’ll continue to get rich in a material sense, because there is no shortage of rubes out there with more money than sense. She’s just going to lose dignity and self-respect, ironically, those spiritual things she claims to value so much.

Comments

  1. Doc Dish says

    Crystals are millions of years old…

    Even the copper sulphate ones I made with my chemistry set, aged 8? Perhaps it was a chemistry and time travel set.

  2. dhabecker says

    Oh, but you don’t understand, dear mortal. A person needs these crystals to accentuate their $1,500 boomerang. Duh!

  3. robro says

    Living in La La Land, I’ve known quite a few people who were “into” crystals, amethyst being a popular one for it’s healing properties…also, it’s fairly common apparently and reasonably priced. You know, voodoo seems to go where the money is. There was a crystal store near where I lived in the Haight for many years called “Bones of Our Ancestors.” Nice rocks, quirky sort of folk. Of course, none of the people I knew who spent money on crystals were particularly rich, and some were quite poor. So the fact that she pitches this line to multi-millionaire Hollywood types doesn’t bother me. It’s the people who spend a $1,000 on a rock to purify their apartments, rather than make their rent, that concerns me.

  4. Terska says

    I knew someone that succumbed to suicide. She was obsessed with what she thought was an incurable candida infection and took to warning everyone about candida. I’m aware that this was probably a symptom of a greater struggle with depression and anxiety but still I feel these peddlers of bullshit medical advice are partially responsible.

  5. blf says

    Many yonks ago several colleagues of mine were “into crystals” and making all sorts of absurd claims. The incident I particularly recall is one such rock-for-brains claimed that putting some in your car’s petrol tank did something. Which, of course, it does, albeit not whatever it was the eejit was claiming (which I don’t now recall). As another colleague of mine, who was a motorhead,† pointed out, doing that would ensure the mechanic had work to do, your money, and a therapeutic yell at you.

      † The motorhead was also one of the company’s best engineers. And female, which is apropos as the eejit who made the claim was a general arsehole with, as I now recall / recognise, some misogynic tendencies.

  6. Rich Woods says

    @blf #7:

    putting some in your car’s petrol tank did something

    That’s interesting. What sort of crystals did he use? Sugar crystals?

  7. Rich Woods says

    @robro #5:

    the people who spend a $1,000 on a rock to purify their apartments

    Had they considered opening a window occasionally?

  8. Larry says

    So, by forming miles underground, as water permeates cracks in the hot rocks, extracting minerals from those rocks and then finally solidifying deep underground amidst the heat and the pressure, crystals are somehow able to retain information about the weather on the surface of the planet or ancient ceremonies from people who don’t even exist yet?

    That is even loonier that religious beliefs.

  9. kesci says

    My sister-law buys into this nonsense. The latest book she bought was ‘Water and Salt’ by Hendel and Ferreira. She wanted me to read it because she knew I liked “sciency” stuff. I scanned the book and found it total quackery. My sister-in law who is 56 has no savings for retirement because she’s been busy contributing to the likes of Hendel and Ferreira.

  10. busterggi says

    Ms. Paltrow, I served with Steven Universe. I knew Steven Universe. Steven Universe was a friend of mine. Ms. Paltrow, you’re no Steven Universe.

  11. says

    Paltrow has followed the path left by Shirley MacLaine. A successful actress has her work increasingly overshadowed by her promotion of silly nonsense. Because this is the 21st Century it’s even easier to hear about Paltrow’s nonsense, since we don’t have to wait between move PR junkets and books to hear what’s interested her lately, just go to the Goop website.

  12. Ichthyic says

    In August, Goop received a $15 million Series B investment round

    feels like the battle for reason was lost for this millennium.

    say hi to the new dark ages.

  13. blf says

    So, by forming miles underground, as water permeates cracks in the hot rocks, extracting minerals from those rocks and then finally solidifying deep underground amidst the heat and the pressure, crystals are somehow able to retain information about the weather on the surface of the planet or ancient ceremonies from people who don’t even exist yet?

    A lot like homeopathic — or as I prefer to call it, homeopathetic — woo-woo: Nothing there so it must work!

    Continuing the quoted observation, meteorite crystals most be even more potent as they are (probably) older, formed further away — not on the Earth — and have possibly been zapped by assorted cosmic radiation at extremely cold temperatures in micro-gravity!!

    And… on a whim, using Generalissimo Google™ I searched for “meteorite crystal healing” (sans quotes) and got way too many hits. Apparently it is a thing. Quoting a page I won’t link to:

    METEORITE
    CHAKRA(S): Root, Solar Plexus, Third Eye, Crown, and Heart
    VIBRATION: Number 2
    ELEMENT: Fire and Earth
    CHARACTERISTICS: Inner vision, spiritual awakening, interdimensional and extraterrestrial communication
    ZODIAC: All Signs
    […]
    HEALING: In healing, Meteorite may be used in the treatment of anemia, strengthener for the blood and tissues, incoherence and melancholia. It may be used to assist one in understanding the physical body so that the body becomes one with the spirit. Meteorite offers strength and hope in the face of a long struggle or physical ailment.
    […]
    Nickel-Iron Meteorite stimulates the third-eye and crown chakras preparing one for inner vision and spiritual awakening. Placed on the root chakra, Nickel-Iron Meteorite awakens the kundalini energies and provides a good source of grounding. When placed on the Solar Plexus chakra, Nickel-Iron Meteorite stimulates the right action honoring the gifts of spiritual awakening and transformation.
    […]
    Chondrite Meteorite vibrates at the frequencies most attuned to interdimensional communication with and among ETs. Similar to Quartz Crystal, Chondrites are programmable and may be used to store information. Meditation with Chondrite Meteorite may help one to discover esoteric knowledge and latent programming. Chondrite Meteorite contain the information of the spiritual records and chronicle the histories of the etheric entities of the solar system. This stone is for astral travelers who want to explore the cosmic consciousness associated with each planet and its astrological traits. Chondrite Meteorite assists those who have come here from other solar systems walk-ins.
    […]

    You get the dribble. Geesh!