Comments

  1. Gen, Uppity Ingrate and Ilk says

    Yes but what does Our Most Holy Pope Richard Dawkins say? And Nobel Laureates? How can we know for sure until someone in authority tell us what to not believe!?

  2. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    How can we know for sure until someone in authority tell us what to not believe!?

    It’s true. We may be “dividing the movement!!11!” and will have to be disassociated from. Better to wait for some pompous ass to tell us what to think.

  3. Ogvorbis: failed human says

    Until one of the Great White Men tweet about it, I’m not sure what I should believe about my beliefs on nonbelief.

  6. Gen, Uppity Ingrate and Ilk says

    If they’re even allowed to tweet about it, Oggvorbis. Because you know that these SJWs are everywhere, monitoring comms to find the next person whose career they can destroy to the glory of their Feminist Hivemind of SJWness. It’s literally as if privileged white men no longer have an unquestionable right to dominate the public sphere and public opinion at the detriment of minorities!

  7. davidnangle says

    My lack of belief is lackier than your lack of belief! I mean stronger… strongerlessness…

  9. cjcolucci says

    If the folks on the Food Network’s The Kitchen are to be believed, you can now get a toaster that will toast images into your bread.

  11. =8)-DX says

    Not accurate. I’m pretty sure that it’s already been established by one of the old thinky leaders in our past that God is toast.

  15. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    “A chupacabra has never appeared on a piece of toast, and it’s all because of my brilliant skeptical work!” – unnamed litigious skeptic

  17. Rich Woods says

    @Brony #8:

    Wait, how did I get covered in solipcism?

    You didn’t fasten the lid properly.

    You’re all missing the most obvious message: all hail the toast! Save us, toast, from the eternal fires! Help us, great toast, to always land butter side up.

  18. paulbc says

    I was thinking it was a centipede hit with a fly swatter. (I hate it when that happens to my toast.)

  19. Mobius says

    The idea for zero first came up in India. It was a religious sect that had the idea and developed the first symbol for zero. They thought so highly of the symbol, all of their altars and temples were decorated with it.

    For them, nothing was sacred.

  20. says

    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Fun:Richard_Dawkins'_face_found_on_tortilla – me, several years ago.

    Richard Dawkins’ face found on tortilla

    AREA 51, Roswell, Sunday (UNN) — A tortilla has been found bearing an image in the shape of the face of Richard Dawkins.

    Atheists from around the world have united in claiming this as an important sign. “It’s a sign of pareidolia, which is what it’s called when you see faces in random things — clouds, the Moon, Mars, tortillas. Truly, this is a miraculously improbable confluence of random chance.”

    Over 3 atheists and sceptics have flocked to the town, bringing photographs of sick loved ones so that the image of Professor Dawkins may have no scientifically detectable effect upon them. Atheist irreligious nonservices have been packed out with people coming together to fail to worship a lack of God. Sales are at an all-time high of “WWDD” bracelets (“What Would Dawkins Do?”), which atheists look at when confronted by superstition and irrationality. (The usual answer is “Lalla Ward.”)

    Agnostic apparitions are most often associated with skeptical tradition, wherein there is a special emphasis on tangible examples and replicable proof. Today, scientists are usually quick to dismiss such images, one physicist wisely attributing them to “prosaic imagination.” However, they remain intensely popular among the practical faithless, as evidence of the cosmic rule that “Stuff just happens.”

    Plans to sell the tortilla on eBay have unfortunately been delayed after it was eaten by a particularly religious poodle. After its emergence, the face on the tortilla now resembles Andrew Schlafly.

  21. Al Dente says

    paulbc @18

    I was thinking it was a centipede hit with a fly swatter. (I hate it when that happens to my toast.)

    I’ve found the easiest way to keep centipedes off my toast is to keep a bowl of live earthworms next to the toaster. Centipedes prefer earthworms to toast, especially if the worms are well buttered and coated with orange marmalade.

  25. Lofty says

    My toast keeps coming out with a pattern of vertical bars. I take this as a sign that a dear old Famous Atheist Reality Thinker is going to jail for tax fraud.

    Worry!

  26. yubal says

    The toast is not proof of anything. But its the origin of the most heavily debated question, and the battle lines divide blogger communities, friends, and family members: which is better, butter, peanut butter or no butter?

  27. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    God always likes to play with toast, why else would buttered toast always fall buttered side down? Probability tells us 50:50 chance, but it always lands a single way. Proves goddidit!!!!

  28. robro says

    Of course, the most important question is whether it’s butter-side up or butter-side down. We can’t have a serious areligious discussion until this is know because only then can we start killing people.

  29. consciousness razor says

    We can’t have a serious areligious discussion until this is know because only then can we start killing people.

    Hmm, not sure if this will save lives or cause another bloody schism, but I use margarine.

    Also, I often put the toast in my mouth instead of dropping it on the floor. There was this one time when inexplicably the bread seemed especially bread-like, but replication has been difficult and otherwise I have no miracles to report.

  30. What a Maroon, oblivious says

    yubal @26,

    But its the origin of the most heavily debated question, and the battle lines divide blogger communities, friends, and family members: which is better, butter, peanut butter or no butter?

    Peanut butter is pure evil, may the non-existent gods bring down their non-wrath on the purveyors of the unholey spread (seriously, have you ever seen a hole in peanut butter?). No butter is marginally acceptable, but only if you have an exceptional marmalade.

  32. Lofty says

    Toast falls butter side down because the cat wills it so. Purest eeevil, I tell you. You’re supposed to go arse up on the butter patch on the tiles and throw your brekky all over the floor for the cat to play with. Then it comes for you…

  33. Mark Jacobson says

    Lofty @ 32,

    Toast falls butter side down because the cat wills it so. Purest eeevil, I tell you. You’re supposed to go arse up on the butter patch on the tiles and throw your brekky all over the floor for the cat to play with. Then it comes for you…

    No, no no. You can’t talk about cats and buttered toast at the same time. It’s then only one small step to the buttered cat paradox.

  34. SqueakyVoice says

    If you don’t want your toast to fall butter side down, then all you have to do is butter the other side of the toast.

  36. Pascal's Pager says

    @ 12.

    After reading your comment I skimmed all the way down to see if anyone caught your Ghostbusters quote. Well played.

  39. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    [warning: siderail] re PB&J:
    frehman year at college, in our cooking group. each “amateur chef” would argue about correct way to make a PB&J (um Peanut Butter & Jelly sammich)
    Q: do you put jeely first then PB on top? OR vice-versa?
    A(from questioner): false choice. baboom. Jelly one slice of bread, PB on the other slice, THEN join the two together. voila!
    Audience: duh. of course! best method for such a good sammich.
    then:
    Audience: which jelly is best for PB&J; grape or stawbury????

  40. Gen, Uppity Ingrate and Ilk says

    You American heretics! Everyone knows that the correct way to make a peanut butter sandwich is with lots of butter (or margarine, I’m flexible like that) and golden syrup. None of this “jelly” you speak of. I’m sure Dawkins will approve of this message.

  41. robro says

    What a Maroon — As Brother Dave said, “Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.”

  42. Saganite, a haunter of demons says

    Why would the toast bear anybody else’s holy image? Toast itself is quite divine, especially as the alpha and omega of a good sandwich. Keep thy faith and the crumbs of toast will rain down on you as mana from heaven. Which reminds me, I need to go buy bread today.

  43. rq says

    My toast is usually eaten (or covered with cheese and a fried egg) before I manage to discern any faces, patterns, or other random etchings. I’ll try to remember to check tomorrow, and I’ll get back to y’all.
    In the meantime.
    Peanut butter sandwich #1:
    – 2 slices bread of choice (though whole grain is best)
    – 2 mm layer butter (preferably salted) on each slice (make sure the right faces match up)
    – 2 mm layer peanut butter (preferably crunchy, but smooth will do, as long as it is unsalted and unsugared!!!) on each slice (on top of the butter, please)
    – dollop of raspberry jam* (none of this grape or strawberry stuff) on one side
    – smoosh together and eat over a plate, near a dog, or outside, with a glass of water.

    Now, the previous is O/T as the bread wasn’t toasted, so here’s peanut butter sandwich #2:
    – 2 slices bread of choice, toasted (again, whole grain is best)
    – generous helping of butter, each slice (again, salted is best)
    – generous helping of peanut butter, each slice (again, crunchy preferred, as is unsalted and unsugared)
    – generous helping of raspberry jam*, each slice
    .. You have now made two open faced peanut butter and jam sandwiches and may enjoy them both as you wish!!! Gladd of water not required, as peanut butter on toast is less sticky on the teeth than on regular bread (esp. if applied while toast is still warm, which is a requirement, I would say).

    * Honey, if not crystallized, may be substituted.

    Also, who invented the atrocity that is the peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich?
    Or is that a regional horror from my childhood?

  44. azpaul3 says

    #40 Gen, Uppity Ingrate and Ilk,

    the correct way to make a peanut butter sandwich is with lots of butter (or margarine, I’m flexible like that) and golden syrup.

    This is where we get our problems with you furriners. Over here, instead of butter and syrup, we prefer to have some actual peanut butter on our peanut butter sandwiches. And if there happens to be a banana around that would be good.

  45. Al Dente says

    rq @43

    Your peanut butter sandwich#1 is excellent, as long as one substitutes rye bread for whole grain, leaves the butter in the butter dish, and ignores raspberry jam for lime marmalade. The preferred drink is hot tea (Russian Caravan, Davidson’s or Peet’s for preference, Twinning’s if better tea is not available) and the dog is optional.

  47. says

    @ rq 43

    This is absolute blasphemy. Peanut butter and jelly sammiches should be enjoyed with a glass of cold milk, and I will hear of nothing else. If you are lactose intolerant, then that is simply the universe punishing you for your sinful nature. Also, peanut butter and banana sammiches are objectively delicious. Please contact me to set up a face-to-face meeting where we shall engage in mortal combat like civilized adults.

  49. rq says

    ginatingles
    I prefer to avoid any and all civilized interation, therefore I hunker down in this trencher here, and toss sticky bits of raspberry-jammed bread at you.

  50. says

    Husband likes either wheat or sourdough, one slice toasted and one not (no, really), creamy peanut butter and whatever jam comes to hand first. Back when I first moved out on my own, I ate a lot of peanut butter and honey sandwiches. I really can’t eat PB sandwiches any more.

    I have heard that some people put pickles on their peanut butter sammiches.

  53. Rowan vet-tech says

    My paternal grandmother used to make me peanut butter and alfalfa sprout sandwiches on dark rye bread. As a kid, I was ‘meh’ about them and wondered why grandma made me eat weird stuff. As an adult, I LOVE them! D: And whenever I smell rye bread, i instantly crave sprouts and pb.

  56. Lofty says

    Heretics the lot of you. Toasted cheese on toasted cheese bread with extra cheese, and a smidgen of full fat butter. A complement to best crispy bacon and fried eggs. Followed by a 100km bicycle ride.

  57. johnlee says

    Dawkins says this or Dawkins says that. What do mere lay people know about what Dawkins thinks? Uninformed interpretation of his words can be at best misleading, and at worst downright dangerous. His opinion on the subject of toast, cats and butter needs careful interpretation, and should not be attempted by the uninitiated. This can only be done by proper experts who have spent their lives studying The God Delusion, and meditating in silent unbelief.
    There are complex answers to these mysteries that are simply too difficult to be understood by anyone outside my organization.