I have a bookshelf where I stuff all my creationist books: weird volumes from Answers in Genesis, the Creation Research Society, strange self-published kook rants, the oh-so-serious garbage from the Discovery Institute, crappy odd tracts from the Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc. It is an evil bookshelf. I rarely open them anymore; I have to roll a sanity check every time I do, and I fear that someday they will reach out and suck my brains out through my eye sockets. They live on brains, you know, especially the sweet fresh brains of children, and I have been denying them access. I should probably make an addition to my will to have them properly disposed of after I die — a toxic waste incinerator, perhaps, or stored with spent nuclear fuel rods deep in a mine somewhere, or cast back into the outer darkness from whence they came.
So I’m a bit worried about Dana Hunter. She’s been carrying out Adventures in Christianist Earth Science Education, actually reading the awful garbage that Christian organizations put out for home schoolers. I’ve been monitoring her closely, looking for signs of a break from reality: Gibbering. Iridescent hued ichor splattering her web pages. Rivers of blood flowing from my USB ports every time I click on that URL. You know, the typical sort of thing you get with supernatural madness.
You should be monitoring it too. If you see any signs of total cerebral implosion, let me know — I am prepared to stage a science intervention in an emergency. Otherwise, I’ll be in Seattle in June for a routine checkup of Dana’s sanity. I hope she can hold out for that long.
Not to worry. Dana’s doing a fine job of protecting herself with massive infusions of alcohol.
It acts like a condom for the crazy.
I, too, have been monitoring Dana’s behavior as she descends into the madness. She’ll be fine, except she may need a liver transplant by the time all is said and done.
Even reading Dana’s condensed and thoroughly snarked version I could feel brain cells dying. She is far braver than I (which is (I know) damning with very very very faint praise).
I’m sure the UK Laundry and US Black Chamber are monitoring Dana and Morris, Minnesota closely. Any breakthroughs by transdimensional beings will be dealt with although, in that case, the survival of Seattle or Morris is not guaranteed.
While PZ and Dana are jeapardizing our universe, there are far worse threats. You can imagine what the Creation pseudomuseum in Kentucky, Colorado Springs, Texas, or SLC, Utah are like.
There’s a part IIb-1.
THERE ARE FOUR PARTS!!!!!
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Who publishes for AIG and the CRS?
PZ, are you sure it’s a good idea to store all of them in one place? The suck could reach critical mass and kill everyone with Hawking radiation!
Is this a private rodeo, or is the public invited? I’ve been looking for a good excuse to take the Coast Starlight up to Seattle.
I don’t think intellectual black holes work like that.
They suck up information and IQ points.
If it happens, every book for miles around will be blank and the entire nearby population will have the intelligence of a rutabaga.
raven in comment #8 said:
As good an explanation I have ever heard for megachurches and the concentration of the conservative christainists with the GOP.
With stray thoughts escaping the information horizon.
“Is this a private rodeo, or is the public invited? I’ve been looking for a good excuse to take the Coast Starlight up to Seattle.”
I second that question; I’ll be in the Emerald City then too.
Yes, there’s several of us monitoring Dana and her progress (regress?) through these books. If you feel like assisting, feel free to donate her a case of Riesling (her preferred method of sedation, though we’ve been attempting to subvert to something a mite stronger…).
David
And those four parts are separated into smaller parts… Scared yet? :)
Aww man, you had me all excited at “Elder gods”. I was thinking it was a ‘Malazan Book Of The Fallen’ reference, which I am pleased to say I first discovered here in the Pharyngula comments after you blasted HBO’s Game Of Thrones (although I admit I do still enjoy the series). I wish I could thank those who had suggested the Malazan series as it has completely ruined AND renewed the fantasy genre for me.
PZ..you need a steam punk sort of book case with big chains,clunky padlocks,iron fittings and bars.
That explains how Ted Cruz got elected.
She should leave the reading to the experienced liver-abusers at Wonkette, who’ve been doing a weekly series on the ‘Sundays with the Christianists’ textbook feature for a long time.