CGI = Truth

Ed Brayton dug up this amusing preview by backslapping creationists of a movie that’s in the works. It’s a 3-D animated retelling of the book of Genesis — the whole thing is generated in the bowels of a computer, therefore it must have happened for realio, I guess.

It’s an interesting argument. If this is how the universe works, I’m gonna look up Tony Stark next time I’m in New York. I hope they’ve repaired all the damage Superman did earlier this summer. I’m going to have to steer clear of my family on the West coast, though: I really don’t want to get stomped by a kaiju.

One of the many benefits of living in Minnesota is that we don’t have many horrible monsters or superheroes manifested by the magic of pixels around here.


  1. says


    computers have bowels?

    Well I watched the video, and mine just spewed a load of shit onto the screen…

    As to the movie, the mass-murder, incest etc will, one assumes, be taken into consideration when assessing what ages can watch it…?

  2. says

    “Literally become an evangelist for the Genesis Movie.”

    Yup, it’s right there in the trailer.

    All that technology being pumped into their little narrative. It’s pretty cool if you think about it: They are relying more and more on the products of science to get their message across. Their religion is gonna have to keep transforming itself just to stay relevant. Perhaps it will develop into something benign?

    @ chigau

    Indeed. And they are filled with dust-bunnies.

  3. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says


    Superstition is to reason what Staphylococcus is to anti-biotics. It naturally creates all kinds of variations of itself all the time, and when reason kills off one type, those with low resistance will end up as carriers of some variation that wasn’t wiped out…until eventually you can bring several complimentary lines of evidence to bear and the superstition will go right on being transmitted from one host to the next, seemingly without any effect from the reason administered.

    Were dealing with multiply-resistant to reason superstitious assertions.

    But at least they’ve given us a great example of evolution in action.

  4. says

    I don’t get why Ken Ham has kept his Australian accent after all time when every Australian actor who moves to Hollywood loses theirs within five years.

  5. marcoli says

    Hey, it looks like Ken Ham has had some ‘work’ done to his face. Do you see the V-shaped scars outlining both of his perky cheekbones?

  6. says

    This nonsense really puts the debate into perspective. The science of evolution is contained in countless peer reviewed articles full of evidence that form a very solid consensus and makes accurate predictions on both big picture issues and many fine details. Meanwhile, Creationists have yet to reach a consensus on big picture stuff. These days, they’re too busy making eye candy for public consumption to get their story straight. All flash, no substance.

  7. edmundog says

    It was the Avengers that destroyed New York, but New York’s used to being attacked by CGI aliens. Superman destroyed Metropolis, a fictional city in Delaware, which doesn’t have as much experience in sweeping up computer disasters.

  8. Scientismist says

    I saw this earlier at Ed’s place.. one line in their blurb had me shaking with laughter for several minutes. I’m old enough to remember the catch phrase used in promoting the first Christopher Reeve Superman movie: “You will believe that a man can fly!” So what do these losers use?

    Coming soon to a theater near you: a depiction of the Bible’s creation account so lifelike, so real … you could actually believe it.

    Yeah, you could.. but you probably won’t.

  9. grumpyoldfart says

    Millions of Christians will love this movie. They’ll still be watching it in church halls in twenty years from now.

    Preachers know how to build a flock and milk if for all it’s worth. They have been doing for thousands of years and they ain’t gonna stop anytime soon.

  10. Holms says

    I liked the bit where Ken Ham raised a shitload of pointed questions against creationism, and left them unanswered. Same old Ken!

  11. stevem says

    re Holms @19:

    I liked the bit where Ken Ham raised a shitload of pointed questions against creationism, and left them unanswered. Same old Ken!

    Typical, taking a cue from my favorite {/sarcastically} show, Ancient Aliens, where everything they present is posed as a question, never stating anything outright, just asking seriously leading questions. errrr, is Ancient Aliens taking their cue from Ham? Ham! They’re ripping you off!

  12. Rich Woods says

    I was actually quite impressed by the production quality of this film clip.

    The content? Not so much.

    Business as usual, then.

  13. No One says

    Oh and fuck me… dated production style and a shout out for cash donations… and Ken Ham not explaining anything until you pay him first. Blaaahhhhhgggg!!

  14. sbuh says

    The last time I was entertained by an animated Bible story was The Prince of Egypt.

    Of course godless Hollywood’s always been better at turning mythical stories into films than the believers themselves, because they embrace the fact that it’s a story and it’s okay to edit or change things to help it flow better in a different medium like film. The believers are trying to sell you the complete package warts and all.

    And it’s MOSTLY warts.

  15. Alex the Pretty Good says

    Polish a turd … it’s still a turd! – Peanut

    “Support us” … translation: “We need more of your money”

    Ray Comfort, Ken Ham and Eric Hovind?! It’s a singularity of stupid! We only are missing inmate[don’t know Kenny’s number] and we’ve got the four horsemen of the crapocalypse.

  16. Ichthyic says

    Perhaps it will develop into something benign?

    not possible, since the only reason it exists to begin with is to empower extremism.

    this isn’t religion, it’s nothing but a con game.

  17. F [is for failure to emerge] says

    the whole thing is generated in the bowels of a computer, therefore it must have happened for realio, I guess.

    As long is they put it on the internet. Then the wavefunction collapses and it is real.

  18. pacal says

    Contrary to what is said in the preview it has been done before. The 1966 movie The Bible, directed by John Huston, as an amazing 20 minute opening sequence recounting the story of creation from Genesis chapter one.

  19. Usernames are smart says

    I’m mildly interested in seeing it, for teh lulz. Just like another Craptaculous movie that got nearly ALL of the science wrong (they did correctly depict the fact that the earth has gravity and rotates–and part of it is covered by water), I went so I could laugh at it.

    I like how they say they’ll have “scientific research from leading experts” that will “go verse by verse”.

    BUZZ!! Thanks for playing. The bible wasn’t written in English, morans. Or are you going to make it a snooze-fest by examining the “original” nth copy?

  20. cuervodecuero says

    Ok, so according to this video, Genesis the movie is great because the usual suspect white dudes are filmed sitting around and saying how great it is, interspersed with ‘sampled’ clips of disconnected shots of CGI projects from animation school and people making wow noises about *something*. I can’t shake the feeling the shot of the lion was lifted and rotoscope touch upped from a frame of Aslan.

    It comes across almost as a parody given how much impressive graphic quality is given over to the titles about who got together to make it, that go on for most of the front of the trailer and most of the rest is given over to the ‘celebrities’.

    So, is there a real movie or is this like the fake trailers all over Youtube for fun?

  21. johndhynes says

    Looks like a pretty movie. Just like Birth of a Nation and Triumph of the Will. Good production values don’t always make for a good movie.

    Hey, how do the “Pillars of Creation” fit into Genesis?

  22. stever says

    The way to attack this movie isn’t by pointing out its lack of correspondence with observed reality, but by recruiting some Bible scholars to point out things like

    “None of this was written in English, and while King James’s board of scholars tried hard, they made hundreds of demonstrable translation errors, so trying to take it literally is insane” and “Genesis is based on tales that predate the invention of writing. The stories got passed around the campfire for generations before being written down, and of those documents we have only translations of copies of copies of copies…”

    We need someone with a serious religious reputation (but not a Catholic, because every Bible-thumping fundiewhackazoid knows that Catholics Ain’t Real Christians) to get up and say, as bluntly as he can get away with, that Biblical literalists are masturbating with a sack of macadamias.

  23. drxym says

    It’s about as literal as The Croods was. Incidentally that movie could be interpreted in a pseudo-religious manner too – the stupid evidence based cavemen only being saved and taken to the promised land by following someone who experienced visions.

  24. says

    I liked the producer’s statement: “Once you get over Genesis it all falls into place and makes sense.”

    If one has to “get over” something for a belief system, perhaps one should re-examine that belief system.

  25. Rey Fox says

    Bill Nye is wrong about moonlight because of the dictionary and Beethoven.

    Are entomologists wrong about insects having six legs too?

  26. says

    I’m going to have to steer clear of my family on the West coast, though: I really don’t want to get stomped by a kaiju.

    We’re Ok! We built a giant wall!

  27. petrander says

    Irony alert at 0:59

    I’m so thrilled… It takes you back into history as if you were there.
    – Ken Ham, AIG

    So you admit, Ken, you weren’t there in any case, and neither has anyone else.

  28. supernorbert says

    I’ve thought Ken Ham didn’t like the Hovinds and now he supports a movie coproduced by Eric Hovind.
    What the fuck?