First, baseball. Next…the world!

I’m out at Midway Field with the Minnesota Atheists, and as you can see, we have seized control of the local baseball team.


It’s the start of the fourth inning, and the score is 0-0. I think the problem is that Amanda Knief and Greta Christina are not cheering the team on — they were lured away to the concession stand by the siren call of fried cheese curds.

The atheists must win!


  1. Menyambal --- writing as Lee Moe Joost says

    Fried cheese curds would lure me away from baseball. And from God, too.

    Jimatkins, they are good. Melty cheese inside deep-fried batter—crunchy and gooey. What’s not to like?

  2. Jacob Schmidt says

    Deep fried cheese is actually really good.
    Deep fried apple with a bit of honey and cinnamon is literally the best thing ever.

    (No, I’m not misusing the word “literally”; okay, maybe a little)

  3. robro says

    Now there you go, PZ, blaming women and fried cheese curd. Fried cheese curd!? My arteries clog just imagining it.

    This isn’t the place to say something like, “There are no atheists in the dugout” is it? No, I didn’t think so.

  4. says

    Is there a trick to deep frying cheese? I tried it once and it…..well, let’s just say it didn’t end well. Mozzarella sticks are a mystery to me. :(

    Enjoy the game. :)

  5. Stacy says

    Hey, Greta deserves some fried cheese curd. She went through a prolonged cyborg test of her upper GI and has earned a snack treat.

    Gooooo AINTS!

  6. karpad says

    Excuse me, the definition of atheist is regarding a disbelief or lack of belief in god or gods. It says nothing about Baseball. As a dictionary atheist, I object to your circumvention of the rules.

    And don’t go telling me “ain’t no rule says an atheist can’t play baseball.” Because I’ve seen Air Bud, Air Bud Golden Reciever, Air Bud World Pup, Air Bud Seventh Inning Fetch, AND Air Bud Spikes Back. As well as Air Buddies, Snow Buddies, and Space Buddies. I am well acquainted with the rule shenanigans you are attempting, and I will have none of it!

    Unless you’re seeding the roots for Air Bud The Dog Delusion, wherein a golden retriever becomes a paid lecturer on the freethought speaking circuit. Then I will have some of that.

  7. Sickivu says


    Today, Hannah Anderson’s 8 year old brother was identified, dead, burned to death in the fire in which her mother Christina had been found, burned, and shot.

    Hannah has been abducted and no one has seen her in a week.

    I would like to alert you to a truly disgusting, and racist blog post made by Sikivu Hutchinson.

    In that post, Sikivu Hutchinson, Ph.D., a woman born into a family with two successful, well known authors, decries Hannah as “Privileged victim”.

    This is disgusting. It is racist. It is foul and evil. It of course represents much of what the world has come to expect from Free Thought Blogs.

    Shame on any Free Thought Blogger that does not criticise Sikivu for her ugly, racist and highly privileged comments.

  8. says

    I probably shouldn’t feed the troll, but Sick, you’re totally missing the point. It’s that the media is not interested when black girls are missing. Which is true. You don’t seem to understand the concept of racism. I’ll stop there.

  9. raven says

    I would like to alert you to a truly disgusting, and racist comment made by a newly created troll, called sickivu at #14 above.

    Fixed it for you.

  10. johnmarley says

    @ Wes (#7)

    Deep frying cheese is a lot like deep frying ice cream. Give it a thick breading, make sure it’s thoroughly frozen before frying it, and don’t leave it in the oil too long.

  11. MarkM1427 says


    Sickivu, you missed the point of that article by a light year. Now shut the fuck up and go away.

  12. imthegenieicandoanything says

    Tastes differ, of course, but baseball is the greatest thing in the world (that doesn’t matter at all)!

  13. boadinum says

    Deep-fried cheese curds? Is that a Minnesota version of Canada’s beloved poutine? I saw the picture of you and Larry Moran tucking into poutine in Ottawa last December, and you looked like you were enjoying it.

    I’d go to the 24-hour supermarket to buy some cheese curds to experiment with, but Sickivu has ruined my appetite.

    I hope the Aints won the ballgame. Please post the boxscore.

  14. Azuma Hazuki says


    It’s likely a Wisconsin thing. I moved to Madison last November, and like every store has a bags of squeaky cheese curds with Bucky Badger looking constipated (and no wonder!) on them.

    And as to deep-frying? This is America. Specifically, the Midwest. I think these people would deep-fry the very air if they could, and sell clumps of it on sticks like atherosclerotic cotton candy at state fairs…

  15. randay says

    In Scotland you can get deep-fried Mars bars. Why hasn’t that caught on in America?

    Apparently Mr. Paul’s Ain’ts lost to the Sioux City Explorers. The Explorers win is not a bad result. It was a win-win situation.

  16. spamamander, internet amphibian says

    Why hasn’t that caught on in America? Because we have to do the Scots one (or ten) better…

    I’ve seen deep fried: Snickers bars, twinkies, Oreos, butter, beer, soda, cheese curds, and mozzarella sticks, among other things. I admit to an affection for the Oreos, warm with a bit of powdered sugar on top.

  17. boadinum says

    Wow, all this talk about deep-frying reminds me that it must be time for my monthly excursion to the deep-fried clam emporium.

    Azuma, deep-fried air sounds like it would have fewer calories than randay’s deep-fried Mars bars. And spamamander, deep-fried beer?! Really? Can you get me a recipe?

    Mmmm, boiling oil…

  18. qwerty says

    Oh, I missed this. I wanted to go but I had to go Up North (as us native Minnesotans say) to the family’s cabin for a week of fishing (I didn’t participate in it) and family bonding.


    p.s. – From the scoreboard it looks like you took the picture in the second inning.