Why I Am An Atheist – JD Benefield


I grew up in a Christian household, but my parents were, thankfully, not zealots about it. We went to church multiple times a week, did all the usual Protestant and Southern Baptist stuff that they do, and let me tell you, I didn’t like going to any of it. I was more than willing to say I was a believer (out of fear of being punished) when I was young, but I lived my life as if God was irrelevant. I didn’t like going to school either; for me it was all about drawing and art in general and I would do it during church and classes, get in trouble, and then be more surreptitious about it later. Math? Science? God? What need did I have of them?

As I got into my teen years, my mind went through weird changes, all of a suddenly I started getting into academic subjects, mostly in the form of different histories, while at the same time I began to look more into this Christianity thing and wanted to understand it better. Cognitive dissonance ran rampant during this period as well; hindsight allowing me to see just how little I thought about anything. A myriad of contradictory and biased information in my head, and for whatever reason, I didn’t make connections where I should have. All the info I had about evolution came from people who were out to destroy it. The information I had about other religions came from people who denounced them as false. You all get the idea by this point. I was essentially buying into what my church leaders were telling me instead of thinking, which wasn’t helped by the fact that I didn’t really know how to think.

All that changed. I kept finding these verses in the bible that I never knew about and wanted to know what the deal was. Not only did I never get any kind of straight answer, I was fairly sure that many people within the church never knew about these things either. The more I questioned, the more hostile they became. I wasn’t actually trying to disprove anybody, I was just pointing out moral, ethical, historical, and literary discrepancies and wanted to understand, if this book was infallible and was the word of god, how could there be so many problems? Somehow, seemingly out of nowhere, I was learning critical and analytical thought.
So, this Christianity thing is bupkis, isn’t it? Aye. What about the other religious and spiritual views, surely they ha… bupkis. Bupkis. Bupkis out the wazoo. What about the different deist viewpoints? Well, that was harder for me to explain away for a while, but since my brain was (mostly) functioning correctly, why not give this evolution, cosmology, quantum physics, and feminism thing a go? Long story short: Mind blown!

I may not, with 100 percent certainty, say there is no super mad scientist creator person that created our universe within the confines of a computer simulation, but if there’s no evidence to support it, what’s the point of believing? It’s completely irrelevant. I now revel in learning and understanding, to the best of my ability, this majestic and indifferent universe. All this knowledge that I’ve absorbed has not only helped me in my art and life, but also in helping others. Even if you’re not a scientist or mathematician by trade, learning critical thinking and being scientifically and mathematically literate will improve your life and hopefully the lives of those around you.

JD Benefield
United States

Comments

  1. stevenschonfeld says

    I grew up in a Christian household, but my parents were, thankfully, not zealots about it. We went to church multiple times a week…

    JD, I’m not sure you know what “zealots” means.

  2. says

    I wonder if fundies know they could halt deconversion – or at least delay it – by being a little less hostile to youngsters who are asking honest questions.

    Never mind. By being obstinate, they help us see the truth more quickly. Well done for making it out alive.

  3. Dick the Damned says

    JD,

    my parents were, thankfully, not zealots about it. We went to church multiple times a week

    That sure as hell fits my idea of zealotry.

  4. Dick the Damned says

    JD,

    …learning critical thinking and being scientifically and mathematically literate will improve your life and hopefully the lives of those around you.

    One would think so, even hope so, but i guess it depends on who it is around you. There are some who are, unfortunately, impervious to the ‘rational’. But it sounds like you’re trying, so i wish you well with it.

  5. Michael Zeora says

    First and foremost; it’s a nice and simple story (plenty like it no doubt)

    Personally I would call his parents “Heavy Practitioners” which can be for simply anything from real zeal to simply enjoying the social circle.

    For me it doesn’t cross into zealotry when they really live and breath “His Word” by actually taking action from ones belief. Church Attendance doesn’t automatically make one a nut-job, although I don’t doubt the connection between the two.

    Just my two cents in that matter.

  6. redwood says

    Nice story, JD, clear and simple. I went through some of the same things as you did when I was growing up (church three times a week as a Southern Baptist), but I was more into school, especially English, which I now teach. Some of us from the Arts side of the Arts & Sciences divide can cut to the heart of the matter when we want to.

    Good for you for thinking it out for yourself.

  7. John Morales says

    [meta]

    stevenschonfeld:

    JD, I’m not sure you know what “zealots” means.

    I’m pretty sure you don’t.

    Dick:

    That sure as hell fits my idea of zealotry.

    That means your idea of zealotry is flawed.

    (Zealots were the al-Qaeda of their day)

  8. mikebenefield says

    Different Benefield-different religious tradition and region of the US. There are lots of issues addressed in the scriptures and interpreted within a context of history and culture. Just like the present political narrative is being interpreted and put forward by people who exist within the context of their own history and culture. This has lead to JD’s questioning. Once we step back from our own smug view of the way the world should be- we begin to see the world as it is. In the end we will be destroyed not by some perceived enemy outside of our national borders; instead we will destroy ourselves for the sake of our own mythology. Because core beliefs- no matter how twisted, will always trump reality.