Because it’s fun.
(Since everyone was misreading the title on this article, I figured I’d answer the question.)
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Because it’s fun.
(Since everyone was misreading the title on this article, I figured I’d answer the question.)
And if this post had gone out it a couple of week’s time it could have made the “best of 2012” lists, shucks ;-).
That does seem like the obvious answer, doesn’t it?
Because, you know, it is.
Well, because it feels great. Orgasms rock.
Except when it’s more like hoggling.
What’s with all the anti-abortion ads showing up at FTB today?
“How” would be a much more interesting article, especially if it included visual aids.
Might as well include one on men, too. I mean, be fair.
Oh, I thought it was medically-recommended to relieve female hysteria.
<ducks>
Preach, brother, preach! :-D
http://autocowrecks.failblog.org/2011/11/21/mobile-phone-texting-autocorrect-the-first-and-third-options-are-basically-the-same-thing/
Now that’s a question with an easy answer!
Because “practice makes perfect”?
I actually misread it as ‘mensurate.’
And I can’t think of a punch-line. Ho-hum.
I was thinking “because they can.”
Killed By Fish
Female masturbation is a peculiar phenomenon that women go through on a roughly monthly constant cycle, and it’s not immediately obvious from an evolutionary standpoint why they do it.
Next in Science For Nearsighted Blog Readers: Why do women masticate?
Why do men masturbate??
Because there’s no point in having a clitoris if you don’t give it some exercise.
I dunno (well, I know why I masturbate), but it seems like a good time to post this: a video of a woman’s brain as she achieves orgasm via masturbation. Makes all the synapses light up like an ostentatious Christmas light display on a McMansion.
Because if they don’t, their testicles explode.
The evopsychos are going to get upset when they learn this isn’t an adaptation for something.
Ouch! My testicle just exploded! Better get to work saving the one I have left.
“The Exploded Testicles.” Anyone fancy forming a punk band…?
Hey, hey, hey! Listen here, Old Man Myers! I need to see me some Princeton studies and Institute of Medicine research data comprehensively cited before I can safely conclude women think overwhelming waves of fantastic pleasure are “fun”!
Pseudoscientific charlatan! :)
Wheeeeeeee!!!!
Not for a few months.
Oooooh my testicles explode with delight!
Qu. What can women do that men can’t? (Childbirth aside.)
A. Simultaneously masticate, masturbate, urinate and defecate.
If, of course, they want to.
(Sorry.)
There’s an ad RIGHT above this post for Rand Paul, talking about abortion, and the photo shows him with his head bowed like the smarmy “good chreeestyyunnnn” that he is. Really not conducive to rubbing one out.
I thought you said mensurate.
No, testicles don’t explode. They do, however, swell up, turn blue, and drop off like overripe plums.
Not that I would really know, of course. That’s just what I’ve heard. But it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.
Killed By Fish
Why do women masturbate? Why not? :)
As a matter of fact, I’m stroking my pussy right now! (She’s 9 pounds of clingy tortoiseshell affection, and she’s draped over my front with her little paws around my neck and her head on my shoulder, purring up a storm…tee hee!)
@ ^ interrobang : Awww. I’ve got a tortoiseshell cat too.
Nothing quite like a happy purring pussy is there?
@ 27. D’oh! I breifly forgot the word ‘micturate’ which would have been better alliteration~wise.
@ 32: I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?
@StevoR #27
Tut.
You wasted a perfectly good opportunity to use the word ‘defenstrate’.
Oh, go throw it out the window!
Women masturbate?
I demand photographic evidence. (Video evidence would be even better.)
</juvenile>
Because …
Well, they…
Um …
Shit.
Y’know, Vagina dentata quips are harder to come up with than one would think.
Like this?
@33
Damn straight you do. That rug really tied the room together :(
As to the topic question: because it feels wonderful, and because it’s sex with someone I love!
Only for the interviews, I swear.
Interrobang @31,
I’ve got you beat – I’m petting two pussies at once – one is a huge flame-point Siamese and the other is a Maine Coon. While I’m petting them they are grooming each other. Does this mean that we have an orgy going on?
That sounds very difficult to coordinate but I don’t see why it’d be impossible for a man, unless you believe the old saw about it being literally impossible to pee with an erection.
True story.
Tss, tss tss
Not even 50 posts and it’s already again all about the menz
;)
We masturbate because YAY. I mean, really, no having to make sure anyone else has a good time, no concentration, just pure oxytocin sex candy? How is that not awesome?
Women masturbate because I am not around all the time.
(ducks to avoid cyber-blows of trolls who cannot take a joke)
StevoR @ 27:
I remember being told by a teacher in sex-ed that it’s impossible for a man to urinate while having an erection. I know from personal experience that that is wrong.
Thought I’d share that with you. :P
Well, we also masturbate to make a political statement.
Take THAT, Ratzinger et al.!
The question is one of evolutionary psychology, and thus requires an absolutely ludicrous answer based on wildly inaccurate accounts of human history and bizarre equivocations.
Therefore, I propose that in this context, the vagina represents a cave. In human prehistory, entering one’s own cave would have been symbolic of a return to safety, free from predation by saber-toothed tigers. Repeatedly rubbing the entrance to a cave-substitute is an exaggerated form of this impulse.
I can tell you what my 95 year old mother told me one morning a couple of years ago (and just months before she died). She said she just had to masturbate, the pressure she felt needed to be relieved. And no she wasn’t describing moments from her earlier life; she was describing that very morning.
What keeps Ernest Borgnine young
warning, HuffPo
@scottjordan & # Azkyroth :
Um, well I know but we’re talking more than just micturation here – simultaneous ejaculation and micturation is impossible I’m pretty sure. Not that I’m a biological expertor have ever tried it mind you!
PS. Tried to post this before – but it hasn’t seemed to appear. Sorry if it ends up as a double post.
Best thread ever!!!
I just want to say how much more enjoyable it is when you don’t think the cosmic fairy is watching and disapproving
^^
PZ nailed it. Best answer to a question I’ve seen for a long time!
Women do it better.