You know the Catholic church just wants to do good. That’s why North Dakota bishops (the most enlightened kind!) issued a fatwah against certain heinous so-called charities last week.

The two Roman Catholic bishops in North Dakota issued guidelines last week naming several well-known, and in some cases, church-related, organizations they say Catholics should not support, with money or volunteer work.

Bishop Samuel Aquila of the Fargo diocese and Bishop Paul Zipfel of the Bismarck diocese, released a joint document “Guidelines on Charitable Giving,” on Ash Wednesday, March 9.

You may be wondering why the church wants to dry up revenues to certain charities: it’s because they also directly or indirectly support contraception, stem cell research, abortion, or equality for homosexuals. It doesn’t matter what good they do.

You may also be wondering what organizations were condemned. Here they are.

• The American Association of University Women
• Amnesty International
• Crop Walk (an anti-hunger organization)
• Church World Services
• The March of Dimes
• Susan G. Komen for the Cure
• Planned Parenthood (no surprise)
• UNICEF

I’m sure, though, that the reason you wondered about that is because this must be a pretty good list of organizations worth supporting with your charitable donations. You can always rely on the Catholic church’s moral compass — whatever direction it points, you should go the other way.