It was all our fault…or was it?


You knew the religious folk were going to look at the disaster in Japan and start pointing fingers. This time, though, it wasn’t the fault of gays and lesbians, nor was it the sight of jiggling breasts…no, this time, it was the atheists’ fault.

Senior pastor Cho Yong-gi of Yoido Full Gospel Church, the largest Christian church in the world, has faced vicious public condemnation as he called the catastrophic Japanese quakes and tsunamis “God’s warnings.”

“I fear that this disaster may be warnings from God against the Japanese people’s atheism and materialism,” an online Christian press quoted the elderly religious leader as saying Saturday.

Wow, I feel almost as powerful as an exposed nipple now.

But wait. We may not be able to take credit for this one. Someone else has stepped forward to shoulder the blame: American Christians. This young lady is overjoyed: she and her friends prayed to her god to teach those atheists a thing or two, and within days he answered by shaking up Japan.

Alert Homeland Security. She threatens to ask her vengeful super-thug to do the same thing to America and Europe, too.