Lies wrapped in piety

I sat through another horrid performance from our creationist visitor, Terry Mortenson. He lied and lied and lied for a couple of hours again, and once again refused to answer questions. Once again, I twittered my way through it. My student, Kele Cable, was also there, and he has a blog entry where he lists all of the fallacies from Mortenson’s talk from last evening.

One amusing thing tonight was that a couple of nice Christian ladies had a ‘conversation’ with me. Have you ever considered the possibility that Christianity is true? Have you weighed what you have to gain from life with Christ against the Judgement? Have you ever read the Bible? They were completely oblivious to the possibility that I have considered their evidence, and found it silly.

I also had one nice Christian woman ask me why I wanted to kill all the Christians. She said she read it on my website.

I’m gonna have a cuppa tea right now. It probably would be better for me to have a beer to relax, but there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to blot away all the stupidity I listened to tonight, so I’m not even going to try.

Some things never change

You can’t possibly be surprised at this turn of events anymore.

The Reverend Grant Storms, a Christian fundamentalist pastor known for his campaigns against New Orleans’ gay Southern Decadence festival, has been arrested for masturbating in a public park in front of children.

But wait! Let’s let Pastor Storms tell his side of the story.

Storms told deputies that he was merely having lunch at Lafreniere Park, 3000 Downs Blvd., in his van when he decided to relieve himself using a bottle instead of using the restroom, an incident report said.

Stay classy, Grant, stay classy.

It’s a Daily Mail poll, so go ahead and demolish it

A UK court has decided that a pair of homophobic Pentacostal Christians should not be allowed to be foster parents to children, because they openly condemn homosexuality. I think it’s a shame that these deluded bigots won’t get an opportunity to learn that gay kids can be good people, too, but it’s probably better that they aren’t given a chance to poison any child’s life. The Daily Mail readers don’t seem to think that’s fair, though…why don’t you chip in with your opinions?

Should Christian couple against homosexuality be allowed to foster?

Yes 73%
No 27%

In case you’re waffling on this one, here’s some help: the Christian Legal Centre, which is defending the Pentacostals, are calling this an attack on “traditional views on sexual ethics”, as if that excuses them. They are claiming that this decision causes great suffering to ordinary people, as opposed to those weird freaky people, who deserve all the suffering they have coming to them.

Mary’s Monday Metazoan: A cunning anal adaptation

Pay special attention to those orange spots on the anal fin.

i-e24382229f32ef6d3f77a7dc3b5c2f29-astatotilapia.jpeg
Astatotilapia burtoni

(via Kevin Bauman)

Those spots help this fish get oral sex.

As is the case in many fish species, the sight of a brightly coloured male somehow triggers females with ripe eggs to start releasing them. But in cichlids, there is a twist. Females hold their eggs in their mouths and incubate them there after fertilisation – a behaviour that is thought to have evolved to protect the eggs from predators.

As soon as a female has spawned her eggs, she collects them up in her mouth. Normally, sperm released into the water by a male nearby will then fertilise the eggs.

But males of certain cichlid species in east Africa have evolved a way to increase the odds that females take up their sperm. Oval yellow markings resembling the eggs are found on the anal or pelvic fins. When a female approaches the male, she thinks she sees an egg on its fin, so tries to vacuum it up in her mouth – and get a mouthful of sperm from the canny male in the process.

That fish may think it’s come up with a clever trick, but the Catholics know it’s going to fry.

Arrgh, I can’t believe I sat through the whole thing

I just suffered through a few hours of Terry Mortenson, Answers in Genesis stooge, babbling and lying on stage here in Morris. I’m going to recuperate for a while with a nice cup of tea and a little light reading, so don’t expect me to post on it now. You can browse my twitter feed for the short choppy reactions I put up during that horror, and I’ll try to summarize it tomorrow.

Although…he’s also speaking tomorrow night. I suppose I’ll have to suffer again, Christlike, for you.

Oh, by the way: the most annoying part of the event is that they announced at the beginning that there would be no Q&A, because Mortenson’s voice was giving out. Then cancel the crappy lecture part, and turn it over to questions! The guy is giving 7 lectures in two days — I think we’ve have our fill of this loon just standing up there and lying at us.

An evening of old fashioned rural American entertainment

Oh, dear…today is the day the clown from Answers in Genesis is speaking at the elementary school in Morris. I guess I’ll be going, even though Terry Mortenson is a goats-on-fire flaming moron. Here he is in all of his pursed-lipped pretentious glory.

Anyway, I’ll be attending his 6:00 lecture — “Dinosaurs: Have You Been Brainwashed?” — and the 7:30 exercise in idiocy — “Noah`s Flood: Washing Away Millions of Years”. The schedule is online; I may get more than my fill today, so I don’t know that I’ll go to any of the Monday events. It’s a disgrace that such a fool was invited here.

I will have my iPad with me and will be live-twittering the event (look for the hashtag #creoass). I’ll also post a summary here. Don’t expect much — this guy is classic old-school dead-brainless creationism: 6000 year old earth, Flintstones was a documentary, all of geology is explained by the flood, unbelievable stupidity.

One possible saving grace is that the Morris Freethinkers will be meeting next Saturday at the Morris Public Library from 3-5pm to have a panel discussion about the event. Everyone is welcome. We’ll be tearing his inanity apart.

What exactly are we allowed to do in the bedroom?

As we’ve learned watching the Rethuglicans lately, the assault on abortion rights is only the first step — they also want to shut down the wickedness that is contraception. But they’re not going to stop there, oh no! If you want a peek at our theocratic future, read this incredibly long-winded disquisition on exactly what you are allowed to do even in the marriage bed. Everything is forbidden, except vaginal penetration and the ol’ in-out. You aren’t allowed to even do these things as foreplay, culminating in procreative intercourse.

The expression ‘that use which is against nature’ refers to unnatural sexual acts, such as oral sex, anal sex, or manual sex. Saint Augustine condemns such acts unequivocally. He even states that such unnatural sexual acts are even more damnable (i.e. even more serious mortal sins) when these take place within marriage. For God is even more offended by a sexual mortal sin that takes place within the Sacrament of Marriage, since this offense is not only against nature, but also against a Holy Sacrament.

Dang. Well, at least Augustine didn’t explicitly forbid rubber wetsuits, fuzzy handcuffs, vibrating crucifixes, octopus, ceiling-mounted swings, clamps, chocolate pudding, flavored lubricants, Wonder Woman costumes, rubber chickens, exotic headware, whipped cream, video cameras, Silly String, roller skates, trampolines, nitrous oxide, balloon animals, feather boas, ball gags, or bungee cords, or I might be going to hell.

It’s amazing how much detail Catholics will go into documenting why people shouldn’t do the things that they all do anyway. You might even call it loving detail.

Can you OD on woo?

This is an experiment. Take care, readers, you might experience symptoms of distress and nausea if you actually watch this video.

Wow. “Quantum”. “Vibrational frequencies”. “Higher planes”. “Vibratory medicine”. Attractive young lady waving her hands over people. Did you know Melissa Hocking has a double degree in…Science? Really, it’s true — check out the Quantum BioEnergetics website if you don’t believe me. It’s got testimonials.

Many clients, adolescent, adult and child, have reported healings from Cancers, Mental illnesses, Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Physical injuries, a variety of Disabilities including Cerebral Palsy, ASD (Autism), and many other Serious Afflictions.

Notice that she doesn’t just cure serious afflictions — she cures Serious Afflictions, which are far more serious than the lower case kind.

Unfortunately, my audience tends to be a little bit skeptical of this sort of thing, so you may be feeling a little dissonance and dismay, and you may be disturbed about this kind of outrageous bunkum and the way it’s taking advantage of gullible, sick people. If you’re upset, here’s what I want you to do. Rest your hands lightly on your computer keyboard, and lean forward until your forehead just touches the screen. Wait there for a few minutes. I have waggled my fingers over my laptop while composing this blog entry, and the beneficent vibrations will be radiating out over the internet in the form of quantum soothing bubbles.

Do you feel a little better now?

Then send me money.