That’s what I must conclude from his recent post which is the outline for my entire damned blog. I may have to mockingly and provocatively respond, followed by promises of escalation of further actions of an obnoxious nature, culminating in outrageous climax that will trigger denunciations and many letters to the editor.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
The editor of?
Newspapers all across the land, of course!
This comment demands expensive camera equipment of the blogger.
We minions will have to go over there in mass to complain, taunt, and jeer — being sure to say something about his offensive tone.
The author threatens to let the readers vote on whether to ban that particular commenter.
In this comment the persecuted commenter starfarts.
This comment casts aspersions on the veracity of the logic of several points of the origial post, but appears pretentious and may contain an embarrassing spelling error.
This comment isn’t actually on topic because the poster was reminded of a webcomic somewhere else, so that was posted instead.
This comments points out to the previous commenter his lack of hyperlink-fu.
this comment is posted twice
this comment is posted twice
This comment points out the universality of Skitt’s law through the all-too-visible embarrassing typo in one’s previous post.
*comment
sThis comment contains a link to an unrelated topic which the commenter feels should be made by the blog author into a separate, new post.
This comment apologizes for the double-posting.
This comment mentions that there are “idiots on both sides.”
This comment expresses concern.
This comment refers to a too often repeated joke.
This post erroneously claims to be first.
This comment is a youtube link:
This comment complains that the blogger isn’t writing about what this commenter wants to read about.
This comment is by a resident troll who repeats a fallacy that he’s been corrected on in several other threads.
This comment exhorts atheists to pray to Jesus lest they get Satan’s white-hot poker up their bottoms.
This comment complains that there are more important things to worry about.
This comment is a link to a long dead poll that needs pharyngulating.
This comment echoes the concern noted in comment #16, along with a reminder that this commenter is an atheist, too.
Ths cmmnt hs bn dsmvwld.
This comment INSISTS that the post author just DOESN’T UNDERSTAND the issue despite the fact that THE BLOG AUTHOR has spent YEARS!!!! studying the topic at hand, while the comment author READ A BOOK by either an actor, a PRIEST, or DEEPAK CHOPRA which PROVES that the blog author SHOULD BE ARRESTED or DEPORTED and INSISTS that the comment author’s FREE SPEECH IS VIOLATED by anyone who disagrees, calls the post author a moron, questions the paternity of the previous commenter, DEMANDS ACKNOWLEDGMENT THAT JESUS LOVES YOU and that YOU WILL BURN IN HELL if you don’t accept him into your HEART (and possibly your ANAL CAVITY), and the blog author is just like HITLER!!!!ONE!!! It pretty much goes on like that for what should be ten PAGES of text with neither line break nor ONE BIT of sense, but I just don’t have the stamina to replicate that level of horseshit. Sorry.
It then ends with “I forgive you” and misspells the blog author’s name, patronizingly declaring that the comment author will pray for you and melodramatically declares that the comment author will never return to this blog again. Ever. Right after the next three comments.
This comment sarcastically notes the concern expressed above.
This coment is mispeled.
This comment goes out of its way to express how little the commenter cares about the topic being discussed.
This comment repeats a point made in the first ten replies, apologizing ahead of time if it’s been said before but the thread is too long to read.
This comment snits that this has been done before and therefore the new post is derivative, while not linking to said original post nor acknowledging that this post fleshes out that idea much better than the previous one.
This comment mentions that nobody has yet brought up squid, bacon, or lesbians, so they are rectifying the error.
This brief opinion piece employs archaic Latinisms and semi-redundant polysyllabic words in an attempt to appear to be a sophisticate who has benefited from close acquaintance with the Higher Education and thus conceal the truth that he (always a ‘he’) is a socially deficient, Christian home-schooled, narrow-minded autodidact. In other words, the comment is the work of just another godbotting troll who doesn’t know enough to know how ignorant he is.
This comment begins and ends with this comment.
This comment is by a spambot that wants to tell you how to make MONEY selling V1AGRA to deposed princes of NIGERIA if you will only click on it.
This comment is concerned about the other commenter’s tone. The comment continues on a bombast against the original post and present what appears to be outdated/irrelevant claims and fallacies. The commenter then fails to return for any follow up, because they think that they’ve won the argument.
This comment mentions that this is supposed to be a science blog, isn’t it???
This comment wins the thread.
This comment begins with the reasonable sound bite thanking the blogger for his thoughtful response elucidating his viewpoint. It segues into a grammatically correct, yet substantially unsatisfying generality.
In the second paragraph, maintaining the complexity of speech that mimics highbrow learning and excessive politeness, this commenter nevertheless sneaks in a reference to the ontological proof of God, and without irony, to the admirability of Bill Dembski’s honor in practical debate.
Just to cap it all off, arrogantly pretending that this commenter has not blatantly trolled, the comment ends with a kind word, that could also be read as a very backhanded compliment. Most readers will have realized the idiocy of the second paragraph, and so this commenter wastes his time on extra verbiage.
This comment regrets that other comments have commented far afield from the original intent of the comment thread.
This comment is by a banned troll using a lame variation on the banned troll’s username – and through which the said troll demonstrates a lack of a sense of humour by thinking is witty.
The next comment is false.
This comment makes a joke about what a $GENERIC_SLUR$ the post subject is, specifically to incite a fight and then refer to other commenters as PC Police trying to stifle Free Speech.
This comment engages in a false dichotomy to assert that the poster is just as unreasonable as those he is complaining about.
The previous comment is true.
This comment defends the concern previously expressed against sarcastic notation and decries the sycophantic attitude that passes for “critical thinking” and “skepticism” in this echo-chamber.
This comment asks a question.
This comment notes how the commenters previous inflammatory over-generalizations must have “touched a nerve”.
what is this?
chain concern trolling day?
:)
This comment, as well as others to follow, will blast the former commenter for being a troll. The comment then proceeds to point out why the former commenter received these inflammatory remarks in the first place, thereby exposing the trolling nature of the former comment.
This comment complains about difficulties signing in to post this comment.
This comment starts with a disclaimer that the commenter isn’t intolerant, and then proceeds to express an entirely intolerant sentiment.
This comment contains a lame sex joke. Posting it will bolster the author’s reputation.
This comment invokes Godwin’s law.
This comment claims an earlier comment wins the thread.
This comment chastises Walton for being naïve and urges him to get some real world experience into the matters he is oversimplifying.
This comment notes the earlier question and attempts to provide an initial answer, which inadvertently is either true or false in whole or in part. The author regrets that the error is noted mere seconds after clicking “Submit”
This comment claims it was satire.
This comment laments the use of it’s for its, and the incorrect usage of the term: ad hominem.
This comment combines Christianity and offensive sexual behaviour in a bad poem e.g.
Jesus Loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Father Patrick loves me too,
And exhorts me not to screw:
“You must be pure” he says to me,
As he gives my balls a squeeze.
And thus upon his knee I sit,
And though he prods me where I shit,
I’ve learned that God’s my only friend,
And gladly take it in the end.
My way may be hard, dark and deep,
And I may be a simple sheep,
But Father Paddy’s there for me,
And for my little sister Fee.
This comment is posted on the wrong thread.
This comment sets off a flame war.
This comment is posted by a banned troll, and it will be asking the same question that this banned troll always ask.
This comment tells a joke about a guy who was stranded on a rooftop during a flood and prayed for God to rescue him.
This comments notes there is an MSNBC poll asking ‘Should the motto “In God We Trust” be removed from U.S. currency?’ that needs crashing.
This comment notes that comment #62 has already been said and posts a winkie.
This post also hopes that the posters in that other thread will understand, but doubts it.
This comment condemns an entire group of people for putting people into groups.
This comment is a reply to #67 but goes off on several tangents and doesn’t get to the point that the poster wanted to make.
This comment brought to you by the letter: “E”
this comment sets off an AGW-denialist threadjack
This comment assumes the specific behavior the author is complaining about pertains to an entire class of people and goes on to claim those people don’t behave that way.
This comment was not first.
This comment claims that the people on this blog needs to read the Bible because it’s the true work of God. Hilarity ensues.
in this comment, Nerd tells a previous commenter that they need to link to the peer-reviewed literature or STFU
This comment laments the lack of science on this supposedly “science-oriented” site.
This comment starts with “the fact is,” which is followed entirely by opinion.
This comment acts shocked that the so-called ‘scientist’ PZ Meyers is being emotional and using foul language. Its author is under the false impression that those things are somehow contradictory.
This comment mentions the poster’s high school and mentions several famous people who the poster claims to know well.
This comment uses the phrase “begging the question” incorrectly.
This is a comment by the Rev. Big Dumb Chimp in which he includes at least four typos.
This comment asks #78 who is this PZ Meyers you speak of?
This comment is where Lynna would post a article about how Mormonism plays into this. ;)
this is a test comment
This comment asks how to quote someone in a comment using html tags.
this comment insults Janine in such a creative and idiotic way that she immediately puts it in her handle
This comment is a vain attempt to keep the thread going because the commenter is bored.
This comment asks what OM stands for.
This comment contains a poorly disguised link to Rick Astley’s annoying musical hit from some time back.
This comment ignores all substantive comments made by others and focuses soley on the insults. The author states this will be their last comment and will not return. It will end by making “I will pray for you” sound like a violent threat.
This comment mentions Bacon, again, because it just can’t be mentioned often enough.
Superficially, this comment appears to be somewhat on topic. However, it seems choppy and pasted. Upon further inspection, it is revealed that this comment is actually spam.
this is a comment by David M, which will quote at least 6 other comments and include at least one row of :-D smilies
This comment is made by the person in #90 who said they will never return.
this comment is written in all caps
This comment warns one of the other comments that one of the other commenters might be on line, and might come in, and then boy will they be sorry.
What’s with all this self-referential crap? Isn’t this supposed to be a science blog?
[somebody had to do it]
This comment notes that comment 64 is a banned trolled with a morphed name, and reminds PZ to “clean up aisle 64.”
This comment is an advertisement for an online prescription drug service in Canada, and thanks the site host for such a great site!
this post contains a botched blockquote
this post apologizes for the botched blockquote in #100 and explains which part was supposed to be quoted
This comment is from a lurker.
This comment will SHUT DOWN THIS PIECE OF BLASPHEMY CALLED PHARYNGULA.
This comment contains yet another insightful and hilarious work of genius from our Poet Laureate, Cuttlefish.
This comment calls PZ a poopyhead.
This comment is a supercilious religious homily from a small town Christian pastor who thinks the respect of a few credulous hicks in his congregation will enable him to turn all the atheists to Jesus.
The pastor at #106 is soon drowning in the flood of collective derision as the atheists put their differences aside to tear his faith to shreds.
This comment will state that 106 is
Then blast 106. And then reminds them that people like them is the reason that millions of people leave Xianity each year.
After many comments ridiculing his beliefs, the pastor at #106 finds bitter aggression replacing his initial arrogance as the smallness of his god is exposed.
When his posts become too pathetic PZ bans him.
He slinks off, claiming victory.
This comment makes the wry observation that this blog appears to be under attack by supernatural forces.
This comment humbly suggests that you add comment moderation to your blasphemy.
This comment conveys the author’s concern that his invocation of M*bus may have triggered PZ’s troll radar. The commenter swears it was only a joke and begs for mercy from the incoming banhammer.
In this comment, the poster complains about ‘Dr.’ Meyers’ review of his/her book/magazine article/whatever.
This comment claims that the commenter has friends of all races, genders, religions and non-religions.
This comment displays the poster’s cluelessness of how science works because in it the poster insists that PZ is afraid to debate a creationist and that if evolution were true surely you’d be able to prove it in a public debate.
Oh, and that it takes more faith to be an atheist.
This comment predictably apologizes for the blockquote fail, as if such a failure had repercussions extending further than the particular post being apologized for.
The content of this comment and of the majority of the other comments can be inferred by any person with about sixth-grade reasoning skills without having to specifically explain what the content is.
Oh! the wonder of thought combined with language! Oh! the paucity of thought of communication of thought without language.
The content of this comment is the importance of communication of the necessity of thought combined with language, initially oral then transmitted aurally but then internalized.
Dissecting the obvious ad nausem, most of us commenters.
This comment claims that the idjit perfessor Dandy is a delusional fool and poopyhead…
This comment disputes the holiness of holy crap.
This comment informs comment #97 that somebody else already did do that, in comment #38.
This comment is off topic, but since the author simply must bring it up somewhere because he thinks it’s so fucking mind-blowingly important, he feels this is the appropriate comment in which to write this sentence.
This comment opines that government should get out of the marriage business altogether.
this post whines about how closed-minded everybody on this blog is
This comment, in which bacon is promoted as being both good for eating and good for fucking, prompts a vegan thread jack.
This comment points out that it is time for the author to go to bed and will be back to check on thread in the morning.
This comment states an intent to eat bacon for dinner and blames comments 33 and 91.
this comment starts a threadjack about bread; and snow
This comment makes a naive claim that has already been thoroughly discussed in the first few dozen posts of this very thread.
This is not a comment.
Ron Sullivan
etc.
This comment suggests snottily that the blockquote wasn’t the only fail in #112.
This comment replies to comment #126 and claims that the author is actually going bed now. The comments author replies consistently for the next hour or so before actually disappearing (presumably to go to bed).
this comment explaims that evoluiton could NOT have happened b/c evolution violates teh second law of thermodynamics and if we then came from moneys why is it that monkeys still exists. if the earth was millions of years old then we would be covered in fossils and yet the only fossils evoltuionists can produce is fakes like PILTDOWN MAN that the scientists accpeted for a long time even after it was shown by creationists to be fake. The evolutionist also have tough time explaining the origin of the universe. As laid out it in Genesis[1] we know that God was responsible for the creation of mankind. Evolutionists however would have you believe that complex structures such as the eye merely popped into existence randmomly [2]. We Christians know that everything came into being by the divine hand of the Lord. ha ha! no, there no proof for evolution whatsoeevr and it just a religion by evolutionists that worships the three gods of darwin, dawkins and pz meyers. the articles of faith of this religioin is taht everything just came about randomly.. i don’t have that much faith to be an athiest!! God creatd everything like bible sez.
This comment chastises you all as a bunch of heartless juvenile bullies — no, make that one bully and a vulgar echo chamber!
This comment cliams that rain is still better. Take that comment 127.
This comment refuses to comment on the previous commenters’ comments.
This comment disses a previous poster’s food or drink preference.
This comment is a documented swoon because Smoggy Batzrubble showed up in the comment string.
Ron Sullivan
http://toad.faultline.org
This comment is a recipe.
This comment also disses the webmaster of Science Blogs.
This comment thread begins when a vet takes issue with PZ’s criticism of the way the politicians have been deploying the troops.
Other commentators rush in to assert their ‘vet’ status so they can disagree. Soon people’s patriotism is being questioned.
Opportunistic non-American commentators seize the opportunity to put the boot into US foreign policy.
The American commentators who were originally at loggerheads suddenly discover unity in the face of adversity and stick up for policies and practices they deplore.
The Noo Zillunders, comfortable with their profound insignificance on the world stage, wander off in search of woolly girlfriends.
The Australians stick around, trying to look important, but nobody notices them.
this comment says something denigrating and relating to weather-wimpiness about the state in which commenter #134 lives
This comment corrects the error in comment #25 without actually citing comment #25, so that nobody knows or cares what the commenter is commenting about.
This comment contains a suggestive pun.
This comment makes vague accusations without providing examples or links by which they might be refuted.
This comment claims that is a pimply-faced, teenaged male who lives in a basement.
LOL!
This comment invokes Pascal’s Wager and other shoddy religious proofs and signs off by saying, “I’ll pray for you.”
This comment claims that the commenter has no time to comment.
This comment then goes on to explain how important the commenter is (keeping the world turning and all that), and then suggests that all other commenters “get a life.”
This comment says that I don,t hate those guys, why some of them are friends of mine. I,ll even let them use my bathroom!
This comment regrets the error of omission in comment #144.
This comment shakes fist at 140. Then corrects error in 134.
this comment alludes to the OM initiation orgies
This comment contains corrections, courtesy of David M., of all the other errors made by other commenters in the past 24 hours.
This comment whines about missing all the fun because of timezone differences.
This comment ignores all of the previous comments and reveals the commenter’s need for attention.
This comment links to an older example of this:
http://consc.net/misc/moser.html
This comment relates the very latest fool-proof proof of the existence of God (which the commenter heard about reading [an online periodical which is famous for never having less than 10 flagrant lies in each issue]).
This comment requests that someone enlighten the commenter as to exactly what starfarting is
This comment flirts with Jadehawk.
This comment expresses the commenter’s inability to see the reason for all the fuss despite having been given several already.
This comment doesn’t find anything about this thread or the original post funny and sets out to argue obstinately about it for the next several hours.
This comment deplores post modernism.
Fish.
sorry, wrong blog
This comment accuses all of the other comments of being an echo chamber.
This comment misunderstands radioactive dating.
This comment wrongly declares the end of the thread.
This commenter, on being informed by at least 60 comments that the very latest fool-proof proof of the existence of God (which the commenter heard about reading [an online periodical which is famous for never having less than 10 flagrant lies in each issue]) was refuted 75 years ago by a five-year-old, either begins calling all other commenters the tools of Satan or tries an even more fool-proof proof of the existence of God. In either case the commenter then notes how polite the commenter is in face all the profanity heaped up him/her.
This comment makes comments on a comment and will not be commented upon with a comment.
This comment patiently explains that if the other commenters would simply frame their arguments in a more accommodating way, everyone who disagrees with them will magically find them brilliant, agree with all of their arguments, and play unicorn polo with them.
This comment wonders how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??
This comment continues pointless ad hominym attacks on the posseser of the perported OM at post #130 for snottily pointing out the flaws in post #112 whilst providing generous examples of additional grist for farther criticism.
This comment emotes a facepalm from all the stupidity above.
This comment refers to xkcd, Cthulhu, and/or FSM.
This comment wants you to take a number, you bunch of shit-flinging primates.
This comment is a poe.
This comment tries to justify their inability to keep up with the refutations to the commenter’s earlier argument by claiming ‘to have a life’ – when in fact the commenter has no life at all.
This comment reflects the fact the author of this comment didn’t read the post of the resulting comments save teh last 3 but just wanted to write in some sort of twisted third[?] person.
This comment argues in favour of libertarianism, and so derails the thread.
This comment shrieks that commenter was part of the original group who read this blog and all you young whippersnapper johnnycomelaties are too weak intellectually, educationally, and sexually to withstand the horrors of those early years.
This comment is four paragraphs of rampant stupidity starting with the phrase “I know I’m going to get flamed for disagreeing, but”.
This comment claims that the author is at work and can’t comment in detail but then proceeds to post a 1000 word essay on the subject.
This comment is four paragraphs of rampant stupidity starting with the phrase “I know I’m going to get flamed for disagreeing, but”, and ending with the phrase, “Kind Regards.”
This comment heaps invective on comment #177 and wonders why that commenter hasn’t been banned yet.
this comment derails the thread by using female genitalia as an insult
This comment claims that #174 is “obviously” a poe, thus demonstrating complete ignorance of what Poe’s Law actually says.
This comment tells #176 to RTFC.
This comment asks for a large pointy stick and a smashing rock large enough to dispatch all these other comments.
this comment mentions a study on vervet monkeys…
This comment occurs during periods where registration is off. It makes vain attempts to clear the name of Dr. Hovind, and then whines about the people on the thread. This commenter will post only once.
This comment was posted too so
This comment suggests an extremely strained and unlikely reading of comment #183 by which the insult is lamely excused.
This comment apologizes for posting #189 too soon, and tries to explain himself again.
This comment is expressing the authors disgust at skewing polls and affecting their outcome.
This is the title of this comment, which appears several times in the comments themselves.
This comment asks how to do those things with the quotations, so that they’re indented and set off with lines.
This comment notes 192’s concerns.
This comment argues that #182 is burning a strawman by telling him to go live in Somalia (although he admits that some libertarians do like Somalia because of its good phone coverage).
This comment is blocked [unkill] [show comment]
This comment is juicy.
This comment responds to the question at #194, but screws up the html so the answer goes missing.
This comment compares atheists to Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot.
An incredible comment that is later nominated for a Molly by three other commenters.
This comment, after hours of painstaking research, reveals the identity of the commenter of #196, and links to a past thread where that commenter misrepresented his qualifications.
This comment contains a link that is way NSFW, but the commenter forgot to mention it.
This comment appears in the form of a profound philosophical truth, and turns about to be poor sophistry.
This comment tastes like oranges.
This comments notes that #129 uses a bad analogy so the joke is lost.
This comments laments about the difference between the words poor and pure, and contains angry mutterings about posting without preview.
This comment takes PZ to task for not working on his book.
This comment tries to emulate Cuttlefish, but fails.
This comment is by a banned troll morphing.
This commenter laments arriving to the thread too late, and thinks nobody will read his comment, but comments anyway, just to feel part of an epic comment thread.
This comment asks “Won’t someone think of the piglets?”
This comment heartily thanks comment #155 for finding what the commenter surely knew or felt to exist, but could not think of how to google it. The commenter of this comment is now relieved and may go to bed secure in the knowledge that the commenter was not imagining things.
The writer of this comment also sincerely regrets the loss of another commenter’s keyboard, due solely to this commenter’s antics and begs forgiveness.
This comment complains about all the bad language used in the previous comments and suggests that such language is discouraging people from being atheists.
This comment notes that the comment about bad language given in #214 is misplaced and invites the previous commenter to fuck off.
this comment confuses nerd with his redhead
This comment claims to have almost been swayed by all of the previous arguments until the arrival of the pottymouth in #215, who ruined it.
This comment says “Nice Site!.”
This comment says it is snowing in Chiwaukee.
This comment berates the wowser at 217 for his or her ridiculous sensitivity to a bit of robust Anglo-Saxon when the real obscenities in the world are delivered by the smooth talkers in religion and politics, viz.: ‘if you can’t handle a a few spicy phrases you should fuck off and fellate a camel or something!’
This commenter is…speechless.
This comment Is.
This comment isn’t very good, so the commenter decided not to post it.
This comment is about all comments which aren’t about themselves.
This comment when seen from very far away looks like ants.
Ron Wotsername
This comment accuses #222 of intellectual dishonesty. Moron.
I listened to a song like this once – a self-descriptive love song that parodied your typical love song in the same fashion – but I can’t remember the title, author, or enough of the lyrics to Google it. Now it’s really bugging me. Does anyone know what I’m talking about, and, if so, can you help me?
This comment is from a camel expecting fellatio.
This comment mentions the vast amount of copying of originally funny comments from the blog being linked to by this blog’s author, and how not as funny they are posted on this blog. Especially since said comments are likely not posted by the same people as the other one, and are likely made by people trying to steal some credit for someone else’s idea.
This comment then continues with a call to PZ Myers to come back to the U of M Twin Cities for another lecture + Q&A, since all this posting about leaving us behind for California is making us sad.
This sentience claims it it is aware.
This commentor wants to comment on how silly all of this has gotten, but hasn’t the nerve to post anything and instead sits reading the previous posts in silence.
This comment is very very concerned. At great length. With great condescension.
This comment makes the mandatory Monty Python reference. Ni.
This comment is bored out of it’s gourd. Z-z-z-z-z-z.
This comment misspells multiple words to maximum annoyance. It is sponsored by “distain,” “hypocracy” and “devine.” Special guest appearance by “conscious,” who will be playing the role of “conscience” on this week’s episode.
This comment is from a long time reader, first time poster.
No, it is not, since I recognize your name. Come on, admit it, you just wanted to be all talk-radio caller and say to PZ, “Oh, um, thanks so much for taking my comment!”
This comment arrives late, and suffering a crippling wave of comment envy leaving the commenter momentarily speechless, so instead, quietly suggests oral sex.
This comment reminisces about Divine.
This comment…
Is my very first one. Hello Pharyngulites!
This comment notes that Josh, Official SpokesGay should be posting with “This comment. . .”
Way to break the chain Josh, lol.
This comment wishes to kill everyone now, condone first degree murder, and advocate cannibalism. It also wishes you to eat shit, and to tell you that filth is its politics, and filth is its life.
Finally, this comment wants you to know it loves the taste of hot, freshly killed blood.
^^This comment^^
This comment defends accomodationism, citing a Youtube video, which just turns out to be a Rickroll (ignoring the fact that that ended some time ago).
This comment wishes Gyeong Hwa Pak to know that that he can eat shit for all I care, or eat anything you like, or do anything that you like. Just don’t assume that I want to know your troubles.
This comment wishes to complain that Josh stole my next “Pink Flamingos” quote.
Bitch.
This comment wishes to remind RickR, Gyeong Pak, and Aratina Cage, that it is a busy woman with a full day’s work ahead of it, and to please remove yourself from its office.
Posts silly ridiculous comment.
*ducks*
This comment is scared now. *runs off to never ending thread and Chem notes.
This comment wonders why Professor Meyer has to be so mean to catholics, and in a flush of white hot fatwa envy, erroneously bets Professor Meyer “wouldn’t dare say the same things about moslems”.
You are reading a comment that is not wearing any pants.
This comment wishes everyone could see how hard it is cackling in delight that its fellow Pharyngulites are savvy enough to engage in a duel of John Waters quotations, and how sad it is that Pikachu still needs to be initiated into The Glory That is Divine.
It also reminds you that, along with Chiclet and Concetta, it still robs houses.
This comment wishes to opine that it wouldn’t suck Josh’s dick if it was suffocating, and there was oxygen in his balls.
This comment wishes to ask RickR if he wants another whipping with that car arial? It’s right in that closet, don’t forget.
This comment is filled with joy over comment #242 and ends with a smiley face.
This comment links to a song.
This comment shows typical noob confusion.
*fails at identifying dichromate’s charge.
This comment is pregnant, and it wants money.
This comment links to a blog which contains a graphic representation of the number of posts in this thread, and related previous threads.
This comment wants to tell Josh to aim it the other way then, Josh. You know how it detests organs. Beauty has absolutely nothing to do with that WORD, that THING you have hanging there like an obscene pickle. Spare it your anatomy.
This comment is fucking dying.
*This comment vomits on Josh*
I’m sorry…. I been drinking.
This comment is a poor attempt a hiding its true purpose: which is to name-drop a certain prestigious high school the commenter attended.
This comment will overlook RickR’s admittedly tittilating indiscretions, and move right on to a marriage proposal. Will you be this comment’s Egg Man?
Eggs. Eggs. Oh God, God.
This comment wishes to apologize to Josh, and buys him a pair of cha-cha heels.
This comment abstains.
This comment, like nice girls, doesn’t wear cha-cha heels.
This comment wants to know why not?
This comment advises Josh to just get his hair done. That what this comment always does when it gets depressed.
Because this comment does not wish to be sent to a Home for Girls.
This comment thanks RickR for the advice, but notes that it failed the audition for The Lipstick Beauty Salon. This comment, shamefully, was disqualified and sent to Mr. Ray’s Wig World.
This comment wishes to remind Josh that he can’t go to school because it said so. It won’t have him nagging it for lunch money and whining for help on his homework. There is no need to know about presidents, wars, numbers or science. Just listen to it and he’ll learn. And no little friends over here, repeating rhymes, asking flippant questions, and talking in those nagging baby voices. Can’t he just sit here and look out into the air? Isn’t that enough? Does he always have to badger it for attention?
This comment apologizes to the other Pharyngulites, for whom this quote-off must be getting tedious. It notes, however, that it can go all night, and that no man, woman, or beast can win at this game with this comment. This comment, you see, is hopped up on little mascara brushes and liquid eyeliner (it had some orally earlier).
This comment inserts an earworm, something about
narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean,
causing a commotion cuz they are so awesome….
This comment is not interested in hearing about Presidents, numbers, wars, or science. But it must say, in all honesty, that it wishes you could see it guffawing so hard it’s spilling expensive wine out of its nose, and wondering why it never encounters such top quality fellow comments in its usual social venues. It is most supremely pleased, this comment.
It also notes that its friend Chiclet is glad she had an abortion.
This comment sees no scientific (or otherwise) advantage of administering liquid eyeliner orally.
This comment reminds you that eyeliner taken internally heightens one’s beauty awareness.
This comment pedantically points out that this sort of thing isn’t particularly original.
This comment also wonders if this is the song that #227 was were thinking of.
This comment closes by admitting that the commenter is a total sucker for this sort of thing, really, but resists the urge to look up and link to the “This American Life” segment that ALSO does more or less the same thing.
This comment notes a simple proofreading error that I should have caught before clicking “submit” for #278, and insists that I’m usually much more articulate, really.
This comment is the comment from a very occasional commenter who has no commendable comment.
This comment wishes to sing.
*clears throat*
“Nothing could be finer
than to have enough eyeliner
in the morrrrr-or-orrrr-nin’…”
This comment wonders what that terrible noise was.
This comment wishes to sing:
“Nothing could be sweeter than my sweetie when I eat her in the moooorning.”
This comment wishes to disclaim any accusations of heterosexuality. The reader is solely responsible for whatever prurient and unnatural interpretation he/she brings to this artistic performance.
Mainly, this comment is engaged in Battle to the Death with RickR, which it finds most exhausting. If RickR would simply capitulate, and agree to marry this comment, we could all conclude this exhausting display.
This comment haughtily and snarkily suggests that two other recent commenters “get a room, already, you two”, as if there was a worldwide shortage of blog post stationery. It then goes back to its usual lurkdom.
This comment agrees. It is exhausted from battling for Supreme Cult Movie Dominance. I must retire-and regroup-to live for another day. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
This comment wishes to counter Josh’s demand for capitulation with the suggestion of a truce. In the Motel 6 on State Road 47. And if only if ~Pharyngulette~ can watch.
This comment os writtern om the dark bu spmepne wjp is jpt weru good ar toucjtypom
This comment says only: Rowr.
This comment makes a growling noise in its throat (for reasons only it knows) and states its willingness to make that sacrifice… if only for the sake of the science.
This comment trebles its usual pharyngular output by sing-songing “Josh and RickR in a tree!” and sighing wistfully.
GOATS ON FIRE!
This comment asks the vital question: if you can comment in this thread, why can you still comment in the old threads?
This comment repeats a point made earlier and far more eloquently by someone else, but the commenter is unaware of this because he got tired of reading the comments around #30 or so and just couldn’t wait to have his say.
This comment asks what a Poe is.
This comment suggests a reference to either male or female circumcision, thereby sending the comments over 1000.
This comment begins, I don’t mean to insult you, but…and then goes on to say something terribly insulting.
This comment rants about the fact that all you atheists sound so angry, so you must be wrong about not believing in God, and believing in Darwinism and Dawkins.
This comment notes that #95 is incorrect AND THEN CONTINUES TO SHOUT A NON-SEQUITUR. This sentence in this comment then indicates the commenter is non-plussed by the failure of other commenters to understand this.
This comment argues that the word ‘comment’ doesn’t mean what you think it means, and the fact that people can’t agree on what the word ‘comment’ means is evidence that the Christian god (and only the Christian god) exists.
This comment indicates that I am “one of you”. This comment then indicates I am concerned about part of what we stand for. This comment leads to a sinking feeling that you are about to get concern trolled.
This sentence proves that you are being concern trolled and that the quote given is an incorrectly attributed quote mine. This sentence shows that I don’t know how to logically structure an argument. This sentence shows that I think I have concluded wittily but leaves your head spinning at my utter fucktardedness.
このコメントはより多くの言語を話さないための読者を欺く。Quoique ce commentaire ait été mal traduit par un traducteur automatisé. This comment congratulates itself on its sophistication.
This comment bemoans the early death of the thread.
This comment complains that more than 300 posts is too long for such a trivial topic. This comment will be reloaded dozens of times while its author waits for a reply.
This comment racks its brains trying to think where Chris Clarke might have got the idea from, and eventually speculates diffidently that Douglas R Hofstadter might have had something to do with it. It continues with a cliche about the lack of novelty in the vicinity of the local star. It ends in spectacular anticlimax.
This comment arrived at the internet meme party far too late to be in any way interesting or amusing.
Repetition of the title of the song.
Incredulous stares at computer screens, people trying to figure out what the heck this guy’s talking about.
This comment googled itself 3 times tonight.
This comment ends unexpec
This comment pastes a comment they posted from the blog originally linked to, in a sickeningly ingratiating attempt to prove that the commenter has a wry sense of humour.
This comment also also is the first attempt at html coding on a comment. w00t!
This comment repeats the previous comment, while linking to a Turkish spam site in the header. It is then copied verbatim on about 300 other random threads.
This comment notes that Chuck Norris doesn’t read incendiary blog posts. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
This comment wins teh internet.
This comment expresses bafflement and terror over the number of comments in this thread, and indeed in several other threads.
The author of this comment would like to comment first on the comment that claimed it would reload itself dozens of times if it doesn’t get any reply. The author of this comment would like the author of the above mentionned comment to note that this comment is not a reply to said comment and questions the author of said comment on his willingness to do what he pretended to do with his comment.
The author of this comment would like to conclude this comment by noting that unlike most comments in this thread his comment does not start with “this comment” and that he generally agrees with the first part of the comment that failed to repeat itself dozens of time despite the fact that he also felt necessary to add a comment that he hopes has been sufficiently pompous and boring not to be an O/T on this thread.
This comment insults several regular posters, their ancestors for several generations, their siblings and their lovers, then claims it was “just a joke”
This author has already done so and only comments to point out the vacuity of the quoted reply. This author further suggests that that author will lack sufficient self-control to avoid replying. This author will taunt that author either way. In the coming days, this author will periodically post in the vain hope of getting hits on this author’s 3-post blog.
This comment returns to the vexed question of bacon, and why there isn’t enough of it in the thread to cover all the lesbians.
This comment argues that in evolutionary psychology the invention of bacon was a tool to push male domination in hunter gatherer societies.
This comment attempts to calculate the amount of bacon required to cover a lesbian, but as it is written by a physicist it assumes a spherical lesbian and is only correct to an order of magnitude.
FISH!
(That is really weird.
I was thinking “I’m going to post something that doesn’t start with ‘this comment…'”
I started to scroll down, to get to the leave a comment button.
As I did that, I thought “what should my comment be? How about ‘FISH!'”
I then momentarily stopped, and saw #162.
That was awesome.)
This comment bemoans the unfortunate reality that there are no lesbians nor bacon in its immediate vicinity.
This comment bemoans the unfortunate reality that the son of a Reading TeacherTM failed to properly utilize the word “neither” in its previous comment.
This comment describes all previous comments as being examples of SIWOTI syndrome.
This comment really, really wants to know why the letter “v” is always shorter than all the other letters on this and other sites?
This author makes the same suggestion about that author and admits to lacking sufficient self-control for having replied to that author.
This comment is posted from a different timezone, and therefore missed all the fun already, but wants to chime in anyway.
This comment haughtily declares this comment thread puerile and exhorts commenters to grow up and stop wasting their time here.
This comment wanted to make a prediction about the number of comments this thread would end up having, but refrained in doing so.
This comment points out that we don’t refrain “in” doing things, we refrain “from” doing them (although many of us don’t so perhaps more of us should).
This post is just to say No, wait, I did that one already in the burning goats thread, didn’t I….
This comment irrelevantly points out that many singers in fact refrain in doing so, purely to be contrary.
This comment exasperatedly states that libertarianism would solve all of these problems, thereby spawning another hundred comments about how wrong it is.
This comment points out the fact that blockquote fail (and subsequent apologies for same) are completely unnecessary, if only people would take a few seconds to proof-read their posts with the fscking Preview button!
This commenter’s concern will be duly noted by a subsequent poster.
This comment snickers
This comment snickers back, because the use of ‘fscking’ was intentional :-)
This comment meta-snickers because it was in on the joke.
This comment mentions noticing recent interthreaduality associated with this thread on other threads and then virtually points and laughs at #249.
This comment will be back.
This comment begs to be released on parole from the dungeon.
This comment includes a broken link.
This comment reminds Alan Clarke that his web page is still broken.
Britomart
This comment is completely irrelevant.
Good counter. That previous comment has been snookered.
Oh wait… I’ll see your counter-counter comment and raise you 20 (dimensionless units).
This comments notes on the number of comments posted since the commenter went to bed, bemoans the lack of time to read them all, and posts a new one anyway.
This comment posts an old joke as if it was original in an attempt to be clever:
“unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep”
This comment This comment is redundant.
This comment expresses ignorance of what has already been posted on the thread, stridently trumpeting points that have already been made at #21, #38, and #302*.
*If these are logically compatible. I did not take the time to read them.
This comment expresses surprise at how long the “this comment” thread has gone on.
This comment is gored out of it’s board.
Thanks Doktor Zoom, that’s the one.
Believe it or not, this commenter was unaware of the origins of fsck, and found that old joke to be hilarious. Thank you.
This comment thinks #278 may have missed it with regards to answering the comment at #227 and wonders if #227 is actually thinkinf of This Song. This comment slinks away smugly.
This comments wonders about what could have set off the weirdness.
This comment promotes homosexuality.
This cdesign proponentmment bemoans secular science.
This comment
is
AWSOME!!!
This comment thanks the comment @319 for finally eliciting a real-life lol, and notes that it’s a good thing for my keyboard that my mouth was empty. This comment anticipates offers to fill its mouth with the sexual organs of other commenters.
This comment explores boring new ways of representing way excessive amounts of laughter typographically. Most of them are very repetitive.
It then goes on to cite some fairly obscure and marginally relevant saying from a TV series or comic or something.
This comment demands a replacement irony meter, and a new keyboard.
This comment hastily retracts the those demands, acknowledges that the irony meter must have been broken already, apologizes profusely, and slinks away.
This comment is sniny.
This comment misses an in-joke and attempts to correct it in a condescending and failed attempt at humor.
This comment isn’t the greatest comment in the thread. This comment is a tribute to the greatest comment in the tread.
This comment reveals shitless fear of teh ebil homersexual agenda. It goes on to point out there has even been a comment in this thread that actively and explicitly promotes it!
This comment notices the meta-meme between this post’s comments and the linked post’s, and also nominates PZ Myers to a poll he is not part of. Ideally one with women. Since he looks good photoshopped with a dress.
This comment contains grammar pedantry and points out comment 349’s (and another one, buried earlier) misuse of the contraction “it’s” for the possessive “its.” This commenter apologizes for the pedantry but cannot help itself.
This comment worries that all the excitement on this tread has slowed the progress on the endless thread and accuses someone non-specific but probably religious of doing it on purpose.
This comment is very confused. This comment wonders if a homersexual is someone who is attracted to homers, be it the blind poet, people routing for the home team or Simpson.
This comment reveals the cluelessness of this commenter about this entire string of “this comment…” comments.
This comment is tired of Teh Evil Homosexual Agenda being SHOVED down it’s THROAT.
This comment tells the joke about a guy who was stranded on a rooftop during a flood and prayed for God to rescue him again.
The writer of this comment pressed “submit” too soon, so it’s cu
This comment expresses lament for the OM who got himself banned for tell the flood joke for the nth time.
This comment was left intentionally blank:
This comment is glad that it didn’t go the “Sniny” route; as it’s already been trodden down at #360
this comment wishes the commenters a happy monkey
This comment crows smugly at the deep rifts in the atheist movement due to the imminent abandonment of evilution by TRUE SCIENTISTS and ends with “God Bless you”.
This comment is made by someone who insists that he cannot comment on this blog because the blog owner has banned him.
This comment is about to be eaten by a grue.
This comment no verb.
This comment belongs on another thread.
This comment expresses shock at the contents of many of the previous comments, resulting in flustered pearl clutching and necessitating the use of the fainting couch.
This comment sneaks a tangential Zappa reference into the discussion.
This comment contains all previous and following comments and adds one.
This comment suggests that the software used to run the blog commit a physically-impossible sexual act.
This comment is a statement of the obvious …
… and this comment is very late in the piece
This comment killed the thread.
This comment resurrected the thread.
This comment insults PZ. PZ can do nothing about it. :P
This comment whines about the joke getting so old that it’s like beating a dead horse and ironically, in so doing, beats the dead horse yet another time.
This comment remarks on the fact that PZ Myers posts comments on his blog at 3 am. The comment then goes on to point out the effect of trips to California on middle-aged men whose Trophy Wife’s are stuck in a blizzard with Lutheran ministers.
The commenter then ducks and runs.
;)
This comment is REALLY late to the party because the poster only has email access at work and is a shift worker. However because they haven’t posted for several days, they must put their two cents in even though the boat has long sailed.
This comment Loves it so!
This comment demands to know how anyone really knows if it was a consecrated wafer
This comment is from a commenter who has read the thread and decided not to comment…
…Damn!*
Unnecessarily signs comment off with name
*Commenter’s favourite thing, a footnote, used to draw attention to lame, old and deliberately forced joke. The commenter is here all week, suggets you try the veal and tip the serving person of either sex whether or not they are also a commenter.
This is the closing comment for this thread.
However, the following comments want to have the last word.
This comment doesn’t care that the comments were closed, because it needs to take comment #393 and smack it upside the head.
This comment comes in days after every other commenter has moved on, copies some of the text of a prior comment and pastes it in, and has a URL pointing from the commenter’s name to a website that sells some product that the commenter desperately wants you to buy.
This comment, noting the previous comment in the sidebar, comes to the thread, ignores the blatant and obvious spam of the comment just prior, but takes angry issue with one of the previous comments above, and leaves a long harangue as a reply.
This comment notes the spammish nature of #399 and asks PZ to ban its author.