Maybe they should send them to the moon, then


I guess we’ve been outdone. While the godless are raising money for the Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders, a Christian group is sending boxloads of solar-powered digital Bibles to Haiti — just what they need, I’m sure.

Called the “Proclaimer,” the audio Bible delivers “digital quality” and is designed for “poor and illiterate people”, the Faith Comes By Hearing group said.

According to their website, the Proclaimer is “self-powered and can play the Bible in the jungle, desert or … even on the moon!”

I’m trying to imagine an audio speaker that works in a vacuum. And why you would need a moon-ready Bible reader for poor lunar illiterates, anyway.

What really has me stumped, though, is trying to imagine something more useless than sending a bunch of electronic junk to people trying to recover from a disaster.

Comments

  1. taipanleader says

    The saddest thing there to me, is that the money used to produce, pack, ship and distribute these ultimately worthless electronic baubles could have been used to produce, pack, ship and distribute medicine, or food, or clean water.

  2. Glen Davidson says

    Solar powered water purifiers might have done some good.

    The best I can say for this is that at least it cost some morons money, and will probably be ignored as the junk it is (unless it can be converted to something useful).

    Who’d want to read the Bible that way anyhow?

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  3. Athena says

    I’d like to send the Faith cums (intentional) by Hearing group a box of clue bats. Is there some sort of brain dysfunction that causes fundies to be incapable of imagining what it would be like to be in a similar situation? They sure don’t have much empathy.

  4. Valdyr says

    Would it be strident and aggressive to suggest that the product developers first go to the Moon, breathe deep of the air, maybe shout a bit, scribble on a clipboard, see what conditions are like before making such a boast?

  5. Stardrake says

    Maybe they can eventually use the solar cells for something useful. They certainly aren’t being so used now…

  6. Alverant says

    “What really has me stumped, though, is trying to imagine something more useless than sending a bunch of electronic junk to people trying to recover from a disaster.”

    That’s what I first thought. Why didn’t they send something practical? It’s a unitasker (anyone else a fan of Good Eats?) and a useless unitasker at that.

  7. Insightful Ape says

    Literally lunatics.
    Since our efforts to raise help for the needy have been called cynical and self serving, does anyone think it is time to send cartloads of The God Delusion to Haiti?

  8. Jadehawk, OM says

    now there’s an airplane that could be told not to land without much damage to the needy.

    Seriously, it really pisses me off that this stuff is being send, because there’s been enough trouble actually getting real aid to Port-au-Prince; and this is taking up valuable space and manpower, and is probably on an American flight, which are not being denied from landing :-(

  9. professordendy says

    I am sorry that you are not a “believer”… but what I am more sorry about is the fact that you are coming to Northern California to spread your venom and hatred toward people like me who do realize that there is a God who works in our lives daily.

    Why, instead of coming to Northern CA to make a nice chunk of change, aren’t you going to Haiti to spread your “good news” that there is no hope, that it’s a dog eat dog world and nobody is going to intercede for them? Surely that will be better than what the Christians are doing… eh?

    Respectfully,
    Professor Dendy

  10. JohnnieCanuck says

    the audio Bible can bring them “hope and comfort that comes from knowing God has not forgotten them through this tragedy”

    So much irony, so much Fail.

  11. Kagato says

    Yikes. That’s pretty horrid.
    And the rest of their site isn’t much better.

    I really had to do a double-take when I saw their “Military BibleStick Outreach” page.

    I mean, just look at this, and what’s your first impression?

    Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my BIBLEstick!

  12. ironflange says

    “Peoples’ houses are crumbled, their families are shattered and they are living in ruins. Haitians will need that long-term hope and comfort that comes from knowing God has not forgotten them through this tragedy,” said [Jon Wilke, Ministry Spokesperson].

    Oh, this is just too easy a target to hit. OK then, God had better not forget the Haitians now, because he sure was asleep at the switch last Tuesday.

  13. Rocky says

    Why don’t they just get their God to magically heal the sick, injured, dead and dying? Oh wait…I know why. Better send them the books with the speakers.

  14. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    Why, instead of coming to Northern CA to make a nice chunk of change, aren’t you going to Haiti to spread your “good news” that there is no hope, that it’s a dog eat dog world and nobody is going to intercede for them?

    Umm, he has. We have. Haven’t you noticed that there has been two posts dedicated to sending donations to help Haiti, all done without God telling us to do so? If anything, this is spreading hope in that they get the necessary goods to survive (Which is far more important than spreading the “word” of God). So clearly, we don’t think it’s a dog-eat-dog world.

  15. llewelly says

    Technically, a speaker works fine on the Moon. And if it’s in contact with a medium, any listener also in contact with the medium can potentially hear the sound it makes. However … the most convenient sort of medium (for humans) is simply not present. But the sound could be transmitted through the ground, through a spacecraft, a tool, a railroad, etc.

  16. martha says

    Professor Dendy, the good news is all the people who are doing real things to help people in Haiti, bringing food, medical care, supplies and other assistance. People are interceding for them, bringing hope with their generousity. People can be incredibly selfless and we don’t need a big bad ol’ god to make us that way.

  17. anik says

    I hope they are sending the creole-french edition otherwise they are liable to find themselves sittin (literally) on a bunch of these devices…..OBTW who the FUCK is professor dendy?

  18. CluelessPedestrian says

    Unless the bibles have a built in water purifier or something, its a piece of worthless crap.

  19. Tulse says

    Why, instead of coming to Northern CA to make a nice chunk of change, aren’t you going to Haiti to spread your “good news” that there is no hope, that it’s a dog eat dog world and nobody is going to intercede for them?

    Nobody is going to “intercede for” them because there is no deity to intercede to. However, plenty of people of various beliefs, including none, are helping them, and that is far more important that intercessions to a make-believe sky fairy.

  20. Insightful Ape says

    Hey troll, it’s called freedom of expression.
    But I must say, I felt the Christian love with all my heart when I read your tripe.

  21. timgueguen says

    The shipping containers these things come in might pfove useful as temporary shelter for a fortunate few.

  22. Blind Squirrel FCD says

    Professor Dendy: I would like to hear you explain to the Haitians

    that there is a God who works in our lives daily.

    I don’t think they properly appreciate his last piece of “work”

    BS.

  23. Jadehawk, OM says

    Why, instead of coming to Northern CA to make a nice chunk of change, aren’t you going to Haiti to spread your “good news” that there is no hope, that it’s a dog eat dog world and nobody is going to intercede for them? Surely that will be better than what the Christians are doing… eh?

    you mean other than the fact that the last thing the Haitians need right now is anyone of any belief (or lack thereof) preaching at them?

    what they need is the hope that human generosity can bring: hope of maybe not dying, starving, and having to be homeless. And all this will be done without the help from your invisible sky fairy, who seems to have been asleep at the whell for at last a week now.

    And the Haitians already know “it’s a dog eat dog world”; but maybe we can make it a bit less so by actually donating money which will actually help them, not preach at them and take up valuable time and space for junk like these bibles.

  24. theshortearedowl says

    “Is there some sort of brain dysfunction that causes fundies to be incapable of imagining what it would be like to be in a similar situation? They sure don’t have much empathy.”

    Actually, I’m sure I read somewhere that “conservatives” and “liberals” (to use crude but popular terminology) differ in their ability to imagine themselves in others’ situations. Maybe New Scientist. Would explain a lot, certainly.

  25. PZ Myers says

    Oh boy, a frustrated apologist who couldn’t even think of an excuse for the waste of time and money and manpower behind this boondoggle.

    By the way, I’m just hoping to break even on my California tour. My travel expenses are covered (I hope!), and any honoraria will be nominal. Does anyone really believe a nerdy professor giving lectures is a profit-making enterprise?

  26. theshortearedowl says

    “Why, instead of coming to Northern CA to make a nice chunk of change, aren’t you going to Haiti to spread your “good news” that there is no hope, that it’s a dog eat dog world and nobody is going to intercede for them? Surely that will be better than what the Christians are doing… eh?”

    False dichotomy… check
    Straw man… check
    Hysterical hyperbole… check
    Missing the point… check

    Hey, a deer just wandered into camp!

  27. charley says

    Does anyone really believe a nerdy professor giving lectures is a profit-making enterprise?

    As we have just seen, there’s no limit to the stupidity of some people’s beliefs.

  28. Carlie says

    This is horrifying, for the timing if nothing else. Hey, Christians out there, think about it for a minute. Planes are having difficulties landing. Ships are having trouble docking. The relief efforts are being swamped by trying to coordinate all of the stuff coming in and how to get the empties back out, given the damages done to the ports and airstrips. Know what? The Bibles can wait. Obviously they weren’t enough of a priority to send them, oh, two weeks ago, so they can wait a few more weeks, right? Right now everyone who’s alive in Haiti now is likely to be alive in a few weeks, provided you don’t jam up the distribution of food and water with solar-powered doodads. So fucking wait awhile already. Don’t make an already crowded, difficult situation worse by trying to go in there with anything but food, water, or medicine. Just don’t. It will not be appreciated, and you may just be hogging the space in port that a medical ship needed instead, and people might die because of it.

  29. bybelknap says

    Dendy’s blog says the “Best thing” you can do for the Haitians is “pray” for them. I left a comment, currently in moderation, that disagrees with him.

  30. Jadehawk, OM says

    Does anyone really believe a nerdy professor giving lectures is a profit-making enterprise?

    but…but…the Trophy Wife™! Are you going to claim she married you for yourself, not for those riches you must be accumulating, with all those speaker honoraria, and the grants you’re raking in as part of both the Evil Evolutionist Conspiracy and the Evil Global Warming Conspiracy?! ;-)

  31. Ellie says

    anik @20

    I have no idea who “Professor” Dendy is either but his lovely hopeful blog contains these words of joy and friendship:

    Well those people are at it again! Yep, that’s right, I said it, those people, and I am referring to the homosexuals and lesbians that are flaunting their cause before the U.S. District court in San Francisco. I refused to call them gay, because I used to be gay – “happy” that is when the word gay used to mean “having or showing a merry, lively mood.” But, frankly, now I am mad, and mad because of the homosexual agenda being pushed down everyone’s throat – like it or not!

    And he accuses PZ of spreading venom and hate.

  32. Peter H says

    It would be meaningful and actually helpful for them, say, to donate the profits from the next xxx number of their sales toward food, water, medical supplies, things actually useful and needed by the beset Haitians. The Haitians don’t need or want “news” of any stripe. They need food, water, medicine, shelter . . . .

  33. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Considering the disconnect the Faith Comes By Hearing folks have with what Haitians really need now, I wonder if they know what language is spoken in Haiti? Creole French isn’t Parisian French, let alone English.

  34. bybelknap says

    Oh, my! The good professor D has a POLL on his blog. Concerning Prop 8. I know it is long past worrying about, but… well, it’s a stupid POLL! On teh innnerwebz!!!

  35. Deinococcus Radiodurans says

    Looks to me like it has a nice sized solar panel, a hand crank, and some nice batteries, perhaps they can be repurposed into something more practical like a flashlight. Though at this point, I think sending food, water, and medical supplies are more important…

  36. Valdyr says

    Religionists understand that their product is often most successful when pushed on people who are at their most vulnerable–destitute, emotionally crushed, physically weakened by illness or injury. They know that a pitch is easier to make on someone who is reeling and unable to think rationally, someone who is desperate enough to swallow any promise of safety or comfort. I assume most of them don’t do this consciously, but it is this instinct that makes missionary work seem more a priority to disaster victims than food or shelter, the kind of instinct shared by the real estate agents who show up at funerals to talk business.

  37. residualecho says

    So fucking wait awhile already. Don’t make an already crowded, difficult situation worse by trying to go in there with anything but food, water, or medicine. Just don’t.

    Why? They made a pact with the devil, so they’re all going to hell anyway, and Obama is just trying to divide the country by pandering to the non-white people.

  38. professordendy says

    My God has a purpose and a plan for everything… I feel sorry for anyone that doesn’t know that… This is what a group that I am affiliated with is doing in addition to praying! And you will not find us “hootin” and “hollerin” about it, we are just doing it!

    “Current plans are to travel to Port au Prince and Lagonave February 6-13 to deliver 5000 lbs of white rice and 2500 lbs of black beans. This will be enough to feed 500 people twice per day for 60 days. At that time the crops in the area should be nearing harvest and will be able to sustain the families again! Travel arrangements are still up in the air at this point as the airport is closed to commercial traffic. As an alternative we may be able to fly into the Dominican Republic and truck into Port au Prince (8hrs). I have heard no word on the port city of Anse Galet on Lagonave as to the damage it may have sustained. This will be a huge factor in getting the supplies onto the island, as well as how long the current supplies last.”

    BTW… the doctors with probably more scientific knowledge gave me three years to live due to a genetic disorder I have that resulted in severe neurological problems and a failing liver… that was, let’s see 27 years ago. The doctors’cannot explain it. It’s just amazing, isn’t it? I am a believer… was before I was given only three years to live and still am. If there was no hope, where would I be?

  39. WowbaggerOM says

    At the end of the news last night they showed some footage of a woo-peddler (of the child-rapist denomination) handing out magic crackers; this was interspersed with distressed-looking Haitians praying and clutching rosaries.

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused and saddened by a display of religiosity.

    How on earth can these people reconcile what has happened to them with a belief in an all-powerful, all-loving god? A vile, capricious monster-god I could certainly understand; the existence of such a creature would explain why one of the most impoverished nations on earth was visited by such a disaster. But why would you worship it, except out of fear?

  40. CTC says

    I felt the real gobsmacker on that …eh… blog was that we should rearrange our days to have more hours in them. Because, you know, having a system that ostensibly works based off of HOURS OF SUNLIGHT is so inadequate.

    Oh, and there was this:

    “A book first published in 1937 was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published.

    Carnegie said:

    1. “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
    Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

    In 2010, do you think you can follow Carnegie’s words of wisdom? I am going to give it my best!”

    I guess ‘douche nozzle’ is the urbandictionary phrase of the week.

  41. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Obviously, the Trophy Wife™ married me for something other than money.

    My wife also has a fondness for men with beards.

  42. Free Lunch says

    Does anyone really believe a nerdy professor giving lectures is a profit-making enterprise?

    They’re used to getting ripped off by their supposedly Christian fellow believers, folks like Palin, De Mint, O’Reilly, Ken Ham and others who while claiming to be Christian demonstrate that they only care about themselves — and are able to get rich conning other believers. The whole instruction manual was written three quarters of a century ago by Sinclair Lewis in Elmer Gantry (though he didn’t know they were going to use it that way) and it still works for them.

    Since Dendy knows that he will be ripped off by believers, he cannot imagine that a non-believer would not take advantage of others.

  43. raven says

    Does the solar powered babble speak in Haitian creole or English?

    IIRC, Hatians speak a French derived language that isn’t even all that much like French.

    If the idiot box speaks English, it isn’t going to be very useful.

  44. Timothy says

    You know they’re idiots because they’re touting “digital quality” as a selling point. Like their religion that marketing phrase is nothing but meaningless noise.

  45. MadScientist says

    Send me a sample of the solar powered bible and I’ll work out how to strip it and turn it into a light (may need to provide better battery + LEDs). A solar charged light which can run for a few hours at night would be far more useful.

  46. raven says

    professor kook troll:

    I am sorry that you are not a “believer”… but what I am more sorry about is the fact that you are coming to Northern California to spread your venom and hatred toward people like me who do realize that there is a God who works in our lives daily.

    Who cares what you think? You are an idiot christofascist troll.

    BTW, you definitely don’t speak for most Northern Californians. I don’t know the breakdown between New Agers, Wiccans, normal people, No Religions, versus christofascist morons in the Bay area. But I’m sure you are a very small minority. Why don’t you move to Texas or some other wacko place?

  47. llewelly says

    professordendy | January 18, 2010 10:35 PM:

    … there is a God who works in our lives daily.

    If so, what was he doing when the earthquake struck Haiti? Surely somebody prayed that it would stop. Was he too busy downloading porn to come to the phone?

  48. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    #45

    Why the hell do you need religious prayer to have hope? Having basic necessities is enough to see that there is “hope” in this world, and even more so that these necessities are brought by people of all/no faith. Religious indoctrination can take a backseat to real aid and relief.

    Plus, who the hell cares what your God has planned. Life is life. Enjoy it instead of trying to find this so-called plan.

  49. Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM says

    It is just so comforting to know that the big sky daddy killed tens of thousands of people in Haiti for a purpose.

  50. professordendy says

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

  51. Insightful Ape says

    It’s convenient to see god loves
    you more than the Haitians who died under the rubble, don’t you think, troll?
    Oh, I forgot. Maybe he kept you alive such that you could proselytize to the Haitians once he was done reducing their livelihood to dust (for the second time since last summer).
    After all, since he never tells us what his plan is, my guess is as good as yours.
    Nasty chap this friend of yours, don’t you think?

  52. Valdyr says

    If so, what was he doing when the earthquake struck Haiti?

    Not that kind of work. Something mysterious. Possibly ineffable, even. So much so that I can’t tell you just what, precisely. But we’re sure it’s extremely important. You hear about that guy in New York who found the image of Jesus in a sliced orange? Preeetty fuckin’ ineffable, right? I mean, is God the man, or what?

  53. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    You’re the one who came in bashing the godless for apparently not being hopeful and praying.
    Criticism isn’t hate.

  54. Ichthyic says

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    Is the sky blue in your fantasy world?

  55. Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom says

    Trollfesor Dendy Sez:

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    “I said stupid things! Now I will gloat about how the puppets dance!”

  56. Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM says

    Amazing how the painfully stupid are convinced that their word touched a nerve. How comforting is it that your god killed thousands yet allowed you to survive a supposed genetic defect? You must be special.

  57. WowbaggerOM says

    professordendy wrote:

    BTW… the doctors with probably more scientific knowledge gave me three years to live due to a genetic disorder I have that resulted in severe neurological problems

    Have you considered your religious belief might be a symptom of your neurological problems?

  58. https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawkiGF2ZBmSSmv7yE-FvTxAJTOteQD0R1YY says

    I have that resulted in severe neurological problems and a failing liver…

    I assure you, we needed no confirmation that you have severe brain problems.

  59. Flex says

    …sending a bunch of electronic junk…

    At least paper bibles could be used for other things, like:

    1. Fire-starters
    2. Placemats/dishes
    3. insulation
    4. toilet paper

  60. Jadehawk, OM says

    If there was no hope, where would I be?

    precisely where you are today, just maybe less hateful towards those who are different from you, and less exploitative of those in dire circumstances.

    Seriously, an inability to understand how estimates for survival of any given disease are made and what they mean is a really shitty reason to believe in magical sky-fairies.

  61. Mena says

    Sigh. Professor Dendy, no one hates christians, we just have a real problem with people who have weaponized it and think that they deserve special rights to decide things like who gets married to whom because of it. Get over yourself, you and your like minded friends aren’t the center of the universe and no one should have to cave to your wishes just because you guys wail like a bunch of 4 year olds not being allowed to have candy. Unfortunately this is the USA and politicians do take the loud but stupid people more seriously than they should and more than they take people who aren’t reactionaries or aren’t confused about what is real and what isn’t.

  62. Tulse says

    My God has a purpose and a plan for everything

    His plan seems to involve killing nearly a quarter million people whom he had previously condemned to living in abject poverty.

    What a nice guy.

  63. tsg says

    BTW… the doctors with probably more scientific knowledge gave me three years to live due to a genetic disorder I have that resulted in severe neurological problems and a failing liver… that was, let’s see 27 years ago. The doctors’cannot explain it. It’s just amazing, isn’t it? I am a believer… was before I was given only three years to live and still am.

    Providing any of this is true1, “doctors were wrong, therefore God”. Why not “doctors were wrong, therefore alt-med”? Or “therefore aliens”? Or “therefore insert-pet-belief here”? Nevermind. I know. You want it to be god. Gotcha. Excuse me while I stifle a yawn.

    If there was no hope, where would I be?

    Precisely where you are now. Hope had nothing to do with it.

    [1] You wouldn’t be the first Liar For JesusTM I’ve run into.

  64. Andrew Brown says

    @ Geoffrey

    Couldn’t agree more. Why is it that these godbots see this as an opportunity to prosyeltise rather than anything else?

    “You don’t have any food water or shelter? Don’t worry the god that gave me an SUV and a big house has a plan for you!”

    “If his plan was to make me as miserable as possible, he fucking succeded!”

  65. professordendy says

    I do not consider criticism hate… would you say that throwing obsceneties my direction and saying “Who cares what you think? You are an idiot christofascist troll” is hateful?
    I have not been bashing you self-named “godless” ones. I can be critical and so can you, but when I oppose what someone thinks, does that automatically open me up for a barrage of insults and hate?
    If so, I want to make sure that I am never alligned with the “godless.”

  66. Autumn says

    So if I were to viciously stab someone forty-seven times, but then I applied just enough first-aid to keep them from dying, would I be venerated as a life-saving hero?
    I just don’t understand why people make excuses for their god’s utterly shitty behavior.

  67. taipanleader says

    @ Glen Davidson (#3)

    ‘Solar powered water purifiers might have done some good.’

    There was a manual version of this demonstrated at a TED conference last year sometime, it costs a few dollars to make, is re-usable and does iirc 2000L of water before the filter needs replacing (It’s the size of a large drink bottle) There was also plans for a 20L version (Think 5 gallon water jug with a pump handle attached.) Dirty water goes in, pumping happens, clean water comes out.

  68. Jadehawk, OM says

    would you say that throwing obsceneties my direction and saying “Who cares what you think? You are an idiot christofascist troll” is hateful?

    no, it’s a statement of fact, supported by your very own blog.

    Also, you’re a tone troll, and you’re the one who came to our place to behave like an douche canoe, so don’t be surprised you aren’t being welcomed with open arms.

    idiot.

  69. Ichthyic says

    I have not been bashing you self-named “godless” ones.

    yes, you have, and even going to the brink of slanderous statements when you accuse someone of moneygrubbing for doing a lecture circuit.

    again, you are completely delusional.

    I think part of you might have survived whatever physical ailments you had, but you failed miserably to get treated for you mental ones.

  70. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    I do not consider criticism hate… would you say that throwing obsceneties my direction and saying “Who cares what you think? You are an idiot christofascist troll” is hateful?

    Wow. One commenter said that to you and now we are all a bunch of meanies. Get a grip, this blog doesn’t revolve around you.

    Weren’t you the one that talked about spreading “hateful” venom. All PZ did was criticize why people would think giving bibles is a priorities, and you say he’s spreading venom.

  71. Andrew Brown says

    @ professordendy

    You really need to realise you’re playing with people who don’t give a fuck about your christian defnintion of “civility”. We robustly (and yes rudely) criticise stuff and we also, as you’d know if you stayed here longer than a few minutes, that we also give significant friendly abuse to those we agree with. It’s a discourse Christan pearl clutchers such as yourself can’t have as you’re too busy demanding unearned “respect”.

    We don’t respect anything, and anyone will be taken to task and asked to explain themselves. You’ve come in and spouted a load of half cocked horseshit at us and are moaning that people are “hating” on you. It’s not you we hate, it’s your bigoted ill-informed opinions. Once you realise that, you’ll be far more comfortable.

  72. Insightful Ape says

    Hey troll, I am still waiting to see why god supposedly likes you better than the Haitians.
    As for hope, you know…if I thought there was an all powerful thing out there looking after me, I’d HOPE that, once hit by multiple hurricanes in one season, I wouldn’t be stricken by an EARTHQUAKE even before the next hurricane season.
    Right troll?

  73. tsg says

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    Ah yes, the old behave-like-an-ass-and-pretend-it’s-significant-when-people-respond-to-it bit. Don’t you people have any new tricks?

  74. professordendy says

    This is why I am alive today!

    Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

    Goodnight all…

  75. raven says

    Alternative religions really do thrive in Marin Survey finds faiths, practices far more diverse than U.S. as a whole
    By PETER FIMRITE – Chronicle Staff Writer
    San Francisco Chronicle

    The Good Book is old hat in Marin County, where the teachings of Gautama Buddha and a host of New Age spiritualists are beginning to eclipse the Bible as the most prevalent guidebook for a better life.

    A recently released survey by San Francisco’s Institute of Jewish and Community Research shows that a far higher percentage of people in Marin County than in the rest of the country embrace alternative religions or no religion at all.

    The findings, gathered from random telephone interviews of 604 people in April and May of 2000, do not mean the famously wealthy and liberal suburban county is full of barefoot pagans wearing robes and worshiping in the woods. But the study suggests the county would not be a bad place to start looking if one were trying to find people of that spiritual bent.

    “There are all these conjectures about Marin and the Bay Area being a different kind of place socially, politically, ideologically, and that’s certainly borne out in this study,” said Gary Tobin, who, with Patricia Y.C.E. Lin, conducted the study for the institute. “People in Marin are much more open and share different definitions of belief, of a higher power, of God and nature. I think it lends credence to the notion that openness and change are the norms in this community.”

    The wacko professor doesn’t speak for most of the Bay area.

    Only 38 percent of Marin residents attend religious services once a month or more, compared with 60 percent in the national Gallup poll. Only 49 percent pray before meals, compared with 86 percent in the rest of the nation. And 57 percent believe in God, compared with 86 percent in the entire United States.

    More people in Marin — 80 percent to 62 percent — believe that “other religions” provide equally good paths to God, and 96 percent believe a person can be good without believing in God, compared with 74 percent elsewhere, the study says.

    According to this survey, 96% of Marin county residents don’t have a problem with atheists.

    Gee professor wacko. Wouldn’t you want to move to a more congenial place for your bigoted crazy kind? How about Mississipi, Somalia, or Iran.

  76. otrame says

    Why don’t you move to Texas or some other wacko place?

    OMFG have mercy. We have enough of that sort here already. Please send him somewhere else.

  77. Jason A. says

    This is why I am alive today!
    Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

    Goodnight all…

    Sorry dude, you got it wrong. It was actually Eris, Goddess of Discordia that saved you. I have a book written by some guy I don’t know that says Eris can do things people can’t. That’s enough to prove it to you, isn’t it?

  78. tsg says

    I do not consider criticism hate… would you say that throwing obsceneties my direction and saying “Who cares what you think? You are an idiot christofascist troll” is hateful?

    And now the martyr complex. Really, do you guys have a script or something?

    I have not been bashing you self-named “godless” ones. I can be critical and so can you, but when I oppose what someone thinks, does that automatically open me up for a barrage of insults and hate?

    See #11.

    If so, I want to make sure that I am never alligned with the “godless.”

    You’d have to give up your imaginary friend for that to happen, so no worries there. Personally, I rather you kept it because I don’t want to be associated with you or the countless idiots like you. Scurry along, troll.

  79. Tulse says

    This is why I am alive today!

    Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

    Matthew 19:27 “…except for saving a bunch of impoverished darkies — they are totally fucked.”

  80. raven says

    professor troll:

    … there is a God who works in our lives daily.,

    Well, you not listening to him. God told you to tell your medication and you forgot again, didn’t you.

    God must be telling people to flee US xianity and leave it for the crazy and stupid like you. People are dropping out by the millions.

  81. Insightful Ape says

    Good thing “all things are possible” applies to you troll.
    It certainly didn’t apply to those who died within one hour of the earthquake.
    What never stops surprising me is the godbots arrogance and entitlement.

  82. Jadehawk, OM says

    This is why I am alive today! Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

    confirmation bias + bible quoting = not actually convincing at all.

    It does however make you look like an arrogant ass to claim that God saved you from “certain” death, but won’t do the same for tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of Haitians.

  83. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    Professor Dendy

    If you knew this blog, you’d know that the many scientist and non-scientist here do not consider the Bible as evidence. Furthermore that passage is flawed in many ways: So you are saying that with God on your side you can do all things, yet I haven’t seen godly people move mountains with God on their side.

    I’m sorry for your illness, but that’s no evidence for anything divine. And certianly no excuse for calling PZ a money-grubber.

  84. raven says

    professor troll:

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight! Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    What is your diagnosis? You are clearly seriously mentally ill.

  85. tsg says

    This is why I am alive today!

    Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

    Then why did you go to the doctor in the first place?

    Goodnight all…

    Scurry, troll, scurry. Into the dark recesses of your faith like a roach when someone turns on the light. Can’t have you examining it too closely. The fragile thing might break.

  86. aratina cage of the OM says

    Dendy the delusional sez:

    My God has a purpose and a plan for everything…

    That must include making you look like a dumbass troll.

    The “hate” phenotype sure is present in this blog tonight!

    Get a mirror, bigot. The only hate around here tonight is coming from your sky-ape worshiping brain.

    Wow! I think I touched a nerve!

    Any thinking person would be nauseated enough to vomit from the stinky garbage you are selling.

  87. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    It’s sad to see a biologist acussing another biologist of being a hateful money-grubber without evidence then proceed to scream persecution when criticized.

  88. CTC says

    Mr. Dendy,

    First, I’m surprised no one has broken the news to you yet, but you are already an atheist – as it pertains to Zeus, Quetzalcoatl, Osiris, Odin, or any number of other deities that were once thought to be in charge of everything. You are already among atheists, by your own choice; we, on the other hand, simply go one god further in our deductions.

    Second, would you care to share this alleged genetic disorder you have? I’m sure I’m not the only one who prefers evidence to testimony and would like to see if your claim can be vetted more thoroughly.

  89. Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM says

    Funny how fuckface could even begin to explain what purpose the deaths of thousands of Haitians served his big sky daddy’s plans, instead he news about how his own life is impossible. I guess those deaths only serve to fuel his own faith.

    I feel nausea and I need a shower.

  90. Bribase says

    professordendy

    Would you please explain to us that if god has a plan for all of us that you think your prayers would serve to change that plan?

    Oh, and if you attribute your continued existence to gods decision to keep you alive you will have to account for why you have a greater cosmic significance than the many thousands of people in Haiti.

    How truly humble your religion makes you

    B

  91. raven says

    professor troll:

    If so, I want to make sure that I am never alligned with the “godless.”

    Please don’t. Wacko idiots like you are driving people out of xianity by the millions. When only your kind are left, the religion will die.

  92. SteveM says

    This story http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_14213197?source=rss particularly disgusted me this morning, more than this story of the elctronic bibles.

    Voice scratchy, eyes bloodshot, arms raised to the sky, the Rev. Joseph Lejeune urged the hungry, injured and grieving Haitians who gathered around to close their eyes and elevate their beings up and out of the fetid Champ de Mars square where they now scrambled to survive.

    “Think of our new village here as the home of Jesus Christ, not the scene of a disaster,” he called out over a loudspeaker. “Life is not a disaster. Life is joy! You don’t have food? Nourish yourself with the Lord. You don’t have water? Drink in the spirit.”

  93. tristan.croll says

    Respectfully,
    Professor Dendy

    Respectfully? Yeah, right. Doesn’t your book have something to say about lying?

  94. CTC says

    Also, if we’re on the subject of “impossible diseases among the faithful”, I should recount a story as well.

    In 1985, my grandfather was diagnosed with ALS. Given the prognosis for the disease at the time, he did what any sensible person with a veritable death sentence would do: he cashed in his term life insurance policies, sold his house for an RV, and began doing more with his life. 14 years later, he died – not from ALS, but from the cumulative damage of 2 strokes & atherosclerosis. He never lost motor function in any of his limbs (even from the strokes themselves), never ended up in a wheelchair, never had a genuine symptom of any kind aside from a persistent shake that reminded one more of Katharine Hepburn than Stephen Hawking or Jason Becker. And yet, “even on his deathbed,” my father insists, “they diagnosed his ALS.”

    What I (and my mother) can comprehend is that, to the average person, a doctor is nearly a magic man, never to be doubted, but to anyone with a legitimate education in a similar field (nursing in her case, biochemistry in mine), it becomes quickly apparent how few GPs know sweet fuck-all about their profession, if for no other reason than the simple fact that they’re supposed to know a little bit about so many things. It would be worth Mr. Dendy’s time to consider that, perhaps, his doctors are full of shit, but somehow I doubt he possesses the will to question authority.

  95. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    You don’t have food? Nourish yourself with the Lord

    Communion crakers aren’t very high on the nutrient values.

    You don’t have water? Drink in the spirit.”

    Which spirit? Brandy, gin, rum, vodka, taquilla, or whisky?

  96. Ichthyic says

    “Life is not a disaster. Life is joy! You don’t have food? Nourish yourself with the Lord. You don’t have water? Drink in the spirit.”

    Newsreporter on scene:

    “After hearing this, locals quickly took the good minister up on his offer, chopping him up for meat, and bleeding him dry for something to drink to quench their thirsts.”

  97. Blind Squirrel FCD says

    It would appear that Professor Dendy has turned off commenting on his blog. I wonder why?

    BS

  98. Jadehawk, OM says

    “Think of our new village here as the home of Jesus Christ, not the scene of a disaster,” he called out over a loudspeaker. “Life is not a disaster. Life is joy! You don’t have food? Nourish yourself with the Lord. You don’t have water? Drink in the spirit.”

    wow, what a Grade A, privileged, condescending Asshole. Trying out for Mother Theresa’s job, isn’t he.

  99. Bribase says

    It is just beyond me that on a thread of which the topic is about a group of people that have suffered and are suffering from a disaster that can only be attributed to natural causes, that someone can bring up their survival story as proof of divinity.

    Even if it were true, even if professor Dendy was placed on this earth to teach us all how terribly missguided we all are, it is in the worst taste possible to bring it up during a discussion about the very real deaths of huge numbers of people that are going on right now.

    B

  100. Ichthyic says

    it is in the worst taste possible to bring it up during a discussion about the very real deaths of huge numbers of people that are going on right now.

    and yet, it is an attitude and behavior so often seen amongst self-proclaimed xians, that most of us are not even surprised to see it.

    just disgusted.

  101. taipanleader says

    Ah but what you are missing Ichthyic is that the survival of the professor and the deaths of the Hatians are all part of God’s Grand Plan, which has out whol lives layed out before us. However, don’t let that stop you engaging in intecessory prayer for your favourite pet cause or sickness!

  102. raven says

    it is in the worst taste possible to bring it up during a discussion about the very real deaths of huge numbers of people that are going on right now.

    If professor troll’s survival story proves that god exists then:

    200,000 Haitians dead in an earthquake proves that he doesn’t.

    Guy already admitted he has neurological problems. Sure, crazy is neurological.

  103. Ichthyic says

    This is why I am alive today!

    I wonder if his grade A homophobism got him a special blessing?

    seriously, see his blog about prop 8.

    and he dares accuse *us* of hatemongering??

  104. fireweaver says

    Posted by: Valdyr; January 18, 2010 11:07 PM

    “Religionists understand that their product is often most successful when pushed on people who are at their most vulnerable–destitute, emotionally crushed, physically weakened by illness or injury. They know that a pitch is easier to make on someone who is reeling and unable to think rationally, someone who is desperate enough to swallow any promise of safety or comfort. I assume most of them don’t do this consciously, but it is this instinct that makes missionary work seem more a priority to disaster victims than food or shelter, the kind of instinct shared by the real estate agents who show up at funerals to talk business.”

    IOW, carrion feeders.

  105. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    Raven, #56

    Why don’t you move to Texas or some other wacko place?

    Hey, now. We have problems enough down here as is.

  106. Joel says

    Prior to the recent earthquake, something like 96% of Haitians professed some flavor of Christianity…80% Catholic and 16% Protestant.

    Fuck-all good that did them.

    As for Vaudou, it is distinguishable from European saint worship by only two things: geography and time. The RC had a nifty evangelical trick wherein they absorbed local deities as “saints” and gave them the imprimatur of Rome in order to quickly gain new souls and, a cynic might suppose, new tithes. If Africa had been Catholicised during the middle ages, traditional spirits of Vaudou and Santaria might well be celebrated as worldwide feast days.

    (And the zombies, voodoo dolls, etc? This will shock you, I am sure, but mostly those are stereotypes of European witchcraft that were slanderously applied to Vaudou — really at its heart all about peace, love, and healing — by the progenitors of Pat Robertson.)

    I’ll bet some serious money that some heartless PT Barnum type owns the patent for French-language talking bibles and hit up some clueless megachurch pastor with more money than sense.

  107. OJB says

    How cynical and self centered can Christians get! Maybe when the people of Haiti get this Bible they will learn more about the evil god who many people think was responsible for the disaster. Its enough to convert anyone to atheism.

  108. OJB says

    Apparently some people there have the right idea…

    “Sunday night, as downtown residents began burning some of the bodies that have been rotting on the streets for five days, a woman walking by in an orange dress pulled out a copy of the Bible.

    She flung it into the fire.”

    Source: Associated Press

  109. Jadehawk, OM says

    Just wanted to leave on final comment for this evening…

    you get high on your own persecution complex, don’t you. And you’re a liar, too, since that screed doesn’t actually describe the situation here at all, but you aren’t letting anyone verify that because you’re not linking back to this thread. Liar and Coward.

    God bless you all!

    Fuck you, too.

  110. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    Mr. Dendy (at this point, your professor title is undeserving.) That’s not evidence, (and it’s blogwhoring). Secondly, you’re the one who come in hear accusing us of spewing hateful venom. I’ve read your blog, it is hateful venom.

    Fuck you too. You’ve lost whatever symphathy I had for you. Rapture yourself already.

  111. tsg says

    Just wanted to leave on final comment for this evening…

    Yes, “one” “final”. I believe not for “one final” second.

    I wandered into a den of “godless” folks tonight who lambasted me all over the place. I questioned why a professor was going around spreading his mendacious statements rather than going to Haiti and telling those people that there is no God!
    And boy, was it a den of lions! I found myself being labeled a “troll”, an “idiot”, a “bigot”, a “christofascist”, peppered with numerous profanities in between.

    I notice you didn’t post a link to where this “den of lions” was, or even mention its name. Wouldn’t want anyone to actually be able to check up on your story, would you?

    When I told them about my miraculous life having been given only three years to live by a team of doctors 27 years ago, I was told that I shouldn’t believe what the doctor’s say anyway.

    No you weren’t.

    And that I do not have the “will” to question my own doctors.

    No, you weren’t.

    Funny thing is,

    I’m laughing already.

    the tests that I have liver scans, and blood tests, MRIs, and all seem to be (and I would think the scientists would agree with me) are pretty good indicators of a disease that was described back in 1912 and even though is rare can be detected by these same tests.

    This still unnamed disorder lest someone knowledgeable be able to argue with you about it.

    Believe me,

    No.

    I still have the genetic disorder, but it is under control, of course, by the grace of God!

    Right. There can’t possibly be another explanation other than goddidit. And with the convenient lack of details, you’re not going to give anyone the chance to offer one. Your faith is that strong….

    The godless will tell you there is no God and that we descended from who knows what…

    Actually, they know quite a bit about what we’re descended from, so that’s a lie.

    but I am here to tell you, that’s a lie you’ve been told. God does exist!!!

    Vapid platitudes with zero evidence. How unsurprising.

    God bless you all!

    And with “Praying At You” I got Bingo. Back under your bridge, troll.

  112. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    I won’t be surprised if dendy there deletes my comments on his blog tomorrow. Fucking dishonest piece of shit.

  113. Judy L. says

    As Joel #120 pointed out, 96% of Haitians are already Christian…so, exactly why are these bibles being sent right now? It’s not like there’s so very many people left to convert. I understand that many Christians find comfort and strength in their storybook, but I think if you asked any Christian Haitain right now what they want, I’m pretty sure that clean water, food, and antibiotics to stop infections so they don’t have to face life as amputees would come way before an audio bible.

  114. Jadehawk, OM says

    As Joel #120 pointed out, 96% of Haitians are already Christian…so, exactly why are these bibles being sent right now?

    why, it’s obvious! they’re the wrong flavor of Christianity*!

    Seriously, normally I don’t mind intra-Christian proselytizing: let them cannibalize each other and leave the rest of us alone**. But this is just vile, and taking up resources needed to actually help Haitians survive.


    *or, if you as a fundie, not Christian at all, since Catholics are either Sun-worshippers, devil-worshippers, or pagan polytheists, depending on who you ask

    **a coworker of mine went on mission trips to Poland, one of the most religious countries in Europe. It was hilarious, and I was thiiiis close to asking her if her church was planning a mission trip to the Vatican, too :-p

  115. MolBio says

    Wow, pray guys, it’s the cheapest from of aid…
    I mean, it works for cancer, right? *sarcasm*

    Send something useful and stop wasting desperately over-stretched resources on anything that is not essential.

    These people are in desperate needs of food, water and medical supplies if they’re to prevent outbreaks of serious disease, and this is well before they’ll be in the clear.

  116. John Morales says

    MolBio,

    Wow, pray guys, it’s the cheapest from of aid…

    The ones who only pray, they’re merely useless.

    This mob, as has been noted above, are worse than useless; they’re in fact harmful to the relief effort.

    And this is where the sanction by the average Christian comes in; where is their indignation, to match ours?

    Send something useful and stop wasting desperately over-stretched resources on anything that is not essential.

    Hear! Hear!

    If religionists wish to pray, fine. But if they also actually help them, then they won’t be such hypocrites.

  117. Strangest brew says

    #131

    “If religionists wish to pray, fine. But if they also actually help them, then they won’t be such hypocrites”

    Wherein lies their combined dilemma!

    Having not a clue as to what the priorities are they automatically peddle their delusion…cos that is what they do, it is a kind of knee-jerk/Pavlov dog type reaction.

    So fucking damaged mentally are these dregs of mendacious clowns they assume a prayer will provide what is required, and if it does not happen then Yahweh is a little peeved at the victims.
    And they are there just in time to inform the victims that they are in fact dirty sinners and only have themselves to blame but the ‘good news’ is yadda! yadda! yadda!

    The bearers of this inanity are, of course, all sorted, they will not go without, how can they praise jeebus if they are hungry or thirsty, does not compute!

    Non essentials should be barred from getting in the way, but such a ploy would only increase the whining of intolerance and discrimination…and it would be a rather rational judge that would not uphold the rule of non essentials being from disasters barred full stop.

    Not sure such a critter has managed to evolve a stable niche as yet, although there is some evidence a rare one was spotted around Dover in Pennsylvania some time ago …few since though!

  118. John Morales says

    [OT]

    Strangest, yeah, John E. Jones III evidently was (and I imagine, is) an honest, impartial and rational judge — the evidence is there.

    He may be a Lutheran, but:

    After the ruling was handed down, some pundits immediately attacked it, notably Bill O’Reilly on Fox News accusing Jones of being a fascist and an activist judge. Casey Luskin and Jonathan Witt of the Discovery Institute, and activist Phyllis Schlafly, have leveled similar charges.[3] Jones also received death threats as a result of which he and his family were given around-the-clock federal protection.[4]
    In a speech to the Anti-Defamation League on February 10, 2006 he responded to critics who claimed that he had “stabbed the evangelicals who got him onto the federal bench right in the back”[3] by noting that his duty was to the Constitution and not to special interest groups.[5]

  119. jefrir says

    This still unnamed disorder lest someone knowledgeable be able to argue with you about it.

    A quick bit of googling suggests Wilson’s disease, one of the treatments for which was developed, wait for it, 27 years ago!
    It can apparently make people emotional and argumentative, but doesn’t usually kill you if treated.
    It can also cause cognitive deterioration, what a suprise.
    More here

  120. negentropyeater says

    Meanwhile :

    Médecins sans Frontières says confusion over who is running the relief effort – the US which controls the main airport, or the UN which says it is overseeing distribution – may have led to hundreds of avoidable deaths because it has not been able to get essential supplies in to the country.

    MSF has had five planes turned back from the airport in recent days, three carrying essential medical supplies and two with expert surgical personnel.

    John O’Shea , the head of the Irish medical charity, Goal, echoed the criticism :

    “That means there is only one thing stopping a massive and prodigious aid effort being rolled out and that is leadership and co-ordination. You have neither in Haiti at the moment.

    You have the US military doing their thing at the airport. You have the United Nations saying we’re in control of food distribution but the United Nations is not taking the pro-active role that they should be taking.

    And you have a Haitian president saying he’s in charge and the Americans being politically correct and saying they will work under him. This is all going to lead to a situation of utter chaos. I can’t get all my trucks in from the Dominican Republic because I have no guarantee that the people driving them are not going to be macheted to death on the way down. I can’t let my doctors and nurses out on the street of Port-au-Prince.”

  121. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    God bless you all!

    Ah, fuck you too. Your deity doesn’t exist, no physical evidence for one. Which makes you a delusional fool. Also, your babble is a work of myth/fiction, no evidence to the contrary, and you are too deluded to recognize the truth if it bit you in the crotch. Nighty-night fool.

  122. aratina cage of the OM says

    Dendy left these droppings:

    Just wanted to leave on final comment turd for this evening…

    (Fixed it for you for a higher truth content) Phew! I don’t know how anyone anywhere is going to appreciate the stink bombs you lob.

    God bless you all!

    Fuck you, too! *fake smile*

  123. CRS says

    Prof. Dendy:

    homosexual agenda being pushed down everyone’s throat

    *sigh*

    We should be so lucky. It’s been awhile since I had a homosexual’s agenda shoved down my throat.

  124. Insightful Ape says

    May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you troll. May His Noodliness also save you from being the broken record you’ve become.

  125. latsot says

    Professor Dendy is my new favourite toy.

    He’s just so *cute* with his puffed-up ego and his smug, deluded arguments. He’s like a kitten chasing a string: you yank the string away and the cat falls flat on its arse and then pretends it meant to do that all along.

  126. latsot says

    I should add to #141 that I’ve been looking at Professor Dendy (biologist)’s blog, which is reasonably hilarious.

  127. Celtic_Evolution says

    Dendy –

    Even if what you say is true, and you are alive because the magic magistrate intervened and cured you, wouldn’t that maybe cause you to look around at all of the seriously ill, sick, dying people that WILL die a painful, slow death and think: “what the hell? Why don’t you save these people too?”

    Are you just more pious than the hundreds of thousands who succumb to cancer every year in the US alone? Do you really believe that you are just so special that god has set aside a special purpose for you and fuck everyone else? And that he only has an actual plan that doesn’t involve excruciating death for such a small percentage of people?

    Really… how can you be that arrogant and feel that privileged? Do you think it’s any comfort to a person in pain, gasping for air in his dying breaths, for you to come over to him in your smug smile, look at him whimpering and tell him “don’t worry, god has a plan for me cause I survived”?

    If I actually believed what you believe, I wouldn’t go around bragging about it… I wouldn’t feel special, I’d feel guilty… and angry. If you went to a hospital that had developed a cure for cancer, and a million people showed up to receive it, and the hospital had more than enough to cure every person that came for it, but instead decided, without explanation and completely arbitrarily, to give out the cure to just 3 people… would you perceive that hospital as caring and loving? Then why would you accord your god such adoration for behaving the exact same way?

    Of course you won’t answer this question, because there’s no chance you will explore that aspect of your “miracle”, will you?

    There’s really only two options when it comes to miracles, buddy… either there are no miracles, or there are and god is just a capricious, arbitrary, sociopathic asshole who likes to fuck with humanity. Either way, I don’t see a compelling reason there to believe that miracles should make me want anything to do with god.

    You chew on that for a while.

  128. ButchKitties says

    Doctors told my parents I wouldn’t live to my third birthday, yet here I am and they, too, “can’t explain it.” What really happened? They misdiagnosed me and refused to admit it for fear of being sued.

    When I hear hoofbeats, I think of horses rather than zebras. When Dendy hears hoofbeats, he assumes they’re coming from unicorns.

  129. MolBio says

    So what’s holding up all the medical aid?

    Better not be people planning on holding the “World Electronic Holy Book Expo”.

    How and who prioritises the aid?

  130. tsg says

    I should add to #141 that I’ve been looking at Professor Dendy (biologist)’s blog, which is reasonably hilarious.

    I like how he’s comparing his foray into Pharyngula with being cast into a den of lions (complete with a jpeg for those slower on the uptake). If Daniel had walked into den of his own accord, covered in meat, and started poking the lions with sticks, it would be more apt. The Christian martyr complex is a strange thing.

  131. AJ Milne says

    Looks to me like it has a nice sized solar panel, a hand crank, and some nice batteries, perhaps they can be repurposed into something more practical like a flashlight…

    FTW.

    Proposed actually useful project: get hold of one of these stupid things, figure out a nice, field-friendly way to tap into the lines outta the power assembly just before it dives into the bible-babble generating unit, build a nice flashlight or radio kit thingy that can thus easily be snapped onto the thing even by a starving Haitian using just his or her fingernails (kit may have to involve duct tape), and budda boom budda bing, bullshit ‘aid’ is hereby transformed into actual aid.

  132. Billy C says

    Elsewhere on the despicable religion front …

    On a long drive yesterday, I listened to Jay Sekulow’s “ACLJ Live” program. (Hey, it keeps me awake.)

    Sekulow was talking about how aid to Haiti should be channeled through faith-based organizations, because they were on scene before the disaster and would stick around long after international attention went elsewhere.

    Not a bad argument, until he pointed out that these organizations would minister “not just to their physical needs but also to their spiritual needs.” Because apparently food and medical care just isn’t worth sharing unless you can deliver it with a healthy dose of Jebus. Worse, he said that “We don’t want aid to come from Hugo Chavez. We don’t want aid to come from Communist China. We want aid to come from the United States and we want to come through Christian organizations.” (I’m running on memory, so the words may not be accurate. But the sentiment that aid is evil from anyone other than U.S. Christians … that’s accurate.)

    I think somebody missed the point of the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

  133. Hypatia's Daughter says

    #45 professordendy

    BTW… the doctors with probably more scientific knowledge gave me three years to live due to a genetic disorder I have that resulted in severe neurological problems and a failing liver… that was, let’s see 27 years ago. The doctors’ cannot explain it. It’s just amazing, isn’t it? I am a believer… was before I was given only three years to live and still am. If there was no hope, where would I be?

    Why, when I was reading how God was responsible for professordendy’s survival, did I suspect that he has probably been under treatment for it for the last 27 years. One cannot usually cure genetic diseases, but they can often be medically managed to ameliorate the symptoms and prolong life.
    Once again medical science does the grunt work and God gets the credit!

    #129 Jadehawk

    **a coworker of mine went on mission trips to Poland, one of the most religious countries in Europe. It was hilarious, and I was this close to asking her if her church was planning a mission trip to the Vatican, too :-p

    8 tentacles up for that one! Can’t you just see a bunch of Mormons, in crisp white shirts & ties, pedaling their bikes up to the doors of the Vatican, with the BoM in hand……..

  134. Lars says

    If Daniel had walked into den of his own accord, covered in meat, and started poking the lions with sticks, it would be more apt. The Christian martyr complex is a strange thing.

    rAmen. There’s no end to the religious’ distortion of reality. After all, that’s what religion is all about.

  135. MolBio says

    Actually, what would be better would be to use the speaker and change the circuitry to allow for a wind-up radio and torch. That way people could receive updates about aid, and also information about how to take care, avoid disease etc could be disseminated…. maybe with enough electrical engineers, the lord can provide with these units. lol

  136. MolBio says

    Actually, what would be better would be to use the speaker and change the circuitry to allow for a wind-up radio and torch. That way people could receive updates about aid, and also information about how to take care, avoid disease etc could be disseminated…. maybe with enough electrical engineers, the lord can provide with these units. lol

  137. Alverant says

    You know considering how bad and how delayed God’s aim is, do you think it’s possible that God intended to cure someone else but the magical healing ray hit Mr.Dendy instead? Just a thought.

  138. alysonmiers says

    Are we quite sure this isn’t an article at The Onion? Seriously, what an extravagant waste of good technology.

    Now, what are our options?

    Going to Haiti as a trained relief worker=doing GOOD.

    Praying=doing NOTHING.

    Money to relief organizations=sending necessary HELP.

    Digital Bibles=waste of space.

  139. AJS says

    This is a joke, isn’t it?

    Surely nobody would do something like that for real. It’s like pissing away from someone who’s on fire.

  140. Carlie says

    Plus, at the article it says that those things can broadcast to “up to 300 people at a time”. That’s LOUD. Talk about obnoxious: think of a bunch of those spouting off at once in one place, or just a stupid neighbor using it at 6am next to the makeshift hospital, etc. Hope they at least have a volume control.

  141. 'Tis Himself, OM says

    Perfesser Dendy comes here and in his very first post he accuses PZ of coming to California “to spread your venom and hatred”. Then he whines how people are being hateful towards him. Plus his blog is full of homophobia.

    Dendy feels it’s a good thing when he’s hating but not good when his hatred is pointed out.

  142. Cuttlefish, OM says

    http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2010/01/starving-have-bible.html

    They were starving; they were homeless; they were dying; they were dead.
    There were bodies to be buried; there were children to be fed.
    There were broken heaps of rubble where the houses used to stand
    There was utter devastation; there was chaos in the land.
    There were frantic cries for rescue; there were howls of fear and pain
    There were heroes risking life and limb, with much to lose or gain.
    There were millions in donations—drinking water, food to cook—
    And the most important gift of all… The Christian Holy Book.

    While it cannot stave off hunger, and it cannot slake your thirst,
    It’s the most important item, when your life is at its worst;
    No, it cannot heal a broken bone; it cannot make you whole,
    But a Bible, in your time of need, could save your mortal soul!
    It’s the timeless sacred message from the Bearded Guy Upstairs,
    And it speaks of His omnipotence, and tells you that He cares.
    When your world is torn asunder, as your very country bleeds,
    Who could doubt, the Holy Bible is the thing that Haiti needs?

    It’s the latest, greatest model; it’s a solar powered job!
    It can shout the Holy Scripture out, in Creole, to the mob
    That has gathered there, expectant, in the hopes of some supplies—
    When instead they hear the Word Of God, imagine their surprise!
    We are sending them six hundred, and that takes a lot of space,
    So we bumped some crates of water, and put Bibles in their place;
    Planes will bring the Holy Bibles in, like manna from above…
    Cos it’s Bibles, and not medicine, that shows True Christian Love.

  143. Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology says

    Dendy feels it’s a good thing when he’s hating but not good when his hatred is pointed out.

    He’s also a condescending asshole. Note that he says he feels sorry for us for not knowing his God.

  144. raven says

    A quick bit of googling suggests Wilson’s disease, one of the treatments for which was developed, wait for it, 27 years ago!

    This Dendy guy is clearly a crazy, sociopathic liar.

    It is quite possible his disease exists only in his own warped mind.

    Or it could be Wilson’s disease. Good guess. Wilson’s disease used to be fatal but is now easily treated. It causes copper to build up in the body. Chelators can keep the copper levels normal. This life saving treatment was developed by scientists, not evil fundie xians praying to their monster god.

    The fact that he won’t name the disease, provide any details, or documentation is indicative of someone lying who has something to hide.

    Dendy was put on earth by god to set a bad example so people would run away from the perverted version of xianity known as the fundie death cults.

  145. creating trons says

    Cuttlefish, as usual, fucking WOW!

    prof dickbrain: although I consider praying useless, I’ll bet most of Haiti is praying right now. And can you guess what they are praying for?

    Food, Shelter, Medical Treatment.

    what an asswipe.

  146. David Marjanović says

    but…but…the Trophy Wife™! Are you going to claim she married you for yourself, not for those riches you must be accumulating, with all those speaker honoraria, and the grants you’re raking in as part of both the Evil Evolutionist Conspiracy and the Evil Global Warming Conspiracy?! ;-)

    Maybe she didn’t know yet that the concept of Evillusion extends to the money, too?

    MSF has had five planes turned back from the airport in recent days, three carrying essential medical supplies and two with expert surgical personnel.

    Help me. I’m getting superhero fantasies. Violent ones.

    How can anyone possibly deny an MSF plane its landing permission???

  147. Arglebargle says

    The most miserable thing is that the holy rollers would rather ignore their own Scripture in order to make a grand, sweeping, public gesture:

    “What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,’ and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.”

    James 2:14-17

  148. raven says

    I have to admit that this earthquake brings out the inner creep in some xians.

    1. This was an earthquake on an active fault. It has nothing to do with god sending a message to anyone. Stuff happens.

    2. There is no message from god in a natural disaster. The wackos saying god is showing this or that are dumb and crazy.

    Even most mainline Protestant xians and Catholics would agree with this. Or they would have when I was still a xian.

    I remember a cyclone in Bangladesh once that killed thousands. The minister said it showed that weather happens in the Bay of Bengal, the country was overpopulated, and was not set up to resist predictable, routine hurricanes. And we should help them with all of this. Today, Bangladesh has been mostly hardened and trained to deal with their climate. They still lose a lot of people but nothing like it was decades ago.

  149. nathan.pozderac says

    Maybe all of the solar powered bibles could be used as bricks. Point the solar panels outward and perhaps there will be enough to power a small radio or lamp.

  150. anik says

    It just struck me a little while back that Prof Dendy is really Tom Estes in a new incarnation. Same BS, same intrusion where not wanted,same whining, same martyr complex……maybe he’s a candidate for pharyngulation?

  151. Thomathy says

    Can anyone find their email on that website of theirs? I want to write them a letter to let them know what I think of their useless donation.

  152. Thomathy says

    Never mind. I looked and then I found. I suggest letting these people know how ineffectual they really are.

  153. lose_the_woo says

    Electronic, solar-powered, digital, hand-held media-player displaying biblical content with audio.

    Why can’t they just make one powered by angels? It would really help further their cause, I think.

  154. hyoid says

    Professor Dementy forgot to tell us that he’ll pray for us. (not that I’m one of US, mind you)

  155. lose_the_woo says

    There is no message from god in a natural disaster. The wackos saying god is showing this or that are dumb and crazy.

    For sure. I’ve mentioned this point at least 3 times over the past week during casual conversations.

    Either god intended this to happen, which makes him an evil monster; Failed to prevent it from happening, which makes him inept; Or is unable to intercede, which makes him effectively non-existent.

    As far as the “god works in mysterious ways” canard goes, there is nothing mysterious about the senseless intentional suffering and murder of the innocent – it is just plain evil. Period.

  156. negentropyeater says

    Molbio #145,

    How and who prioritises the aid?

    Good question.

    David #162,

    How can anyone possibly deny an MSF plane its landing permission???

    Good question.

    Honestly, I’d really like to know the answer to these questions.

  157. Anri says

    tsg says:

    I like how he’s comparing his foray into Pharyngula with being cast into a den of lions (complete with a jpeg for those slower on the uptake). If Daniel had walked into den of his own accord, covered in meat, and started poking the lions with sticks, it would be more apt. The Christian martyr complex is a strange thing.

    Daniel?

    That’s supposed to be Daniel?

    …the painter did know that guys as caucasian as that were kinda rare in the time/place of biblical events, right?

    Or is it just that Daniel was a good guy, and therefore can’t have dusky skin and black, curly hair…?
    Or am I just reading too much into that?

  158. tsg says

    Daniel?

    That’s supposed to be Daniel?

    …the painter did know that guys as caucasian as that were kinda rare in the time/place of biblical events, right?

    Or is it just that Daniel was a good guy, and therefore can’t have dusky skin and black, curly hair…?
    Or am I just reading too much into that?

    No, you’ve got it pretty much right. It goes along with the man-made-in-god’s-image bit: “my god (and all the other biblical figures) look just like me”.

  159. Rutee, Shrieking Harpy of Dooooom says

    I think my favorite part of the Christians to the Lions meme is that it’s not much more true then their religion is on average.

    I mean, it happened, but it GENERALLY happened more when Christians were fucking stupid…

  160. ktesibios says

    @MolBio (#152):

    There are complete FM radio-on-a-boar modules available off-the-shelf. Converting the solar-powered bibble-babbler into a useful radio receiver would probably be a trivial exercise for a savvy tech.

  161. HappyHax0r says

    #158

    You sir, are an amazing poet. That, was just… unreal :).

    Would you mind if I printed that out and pinned it up in my pod?

  162. CTC says

    @ 135 & 160:

    Ding-ding-ding! Give these men some kewpie dolls. I outlined Door # 1 (bullshit diagnosis from bad doctors), and you’ve outlined Door # 2 (bullshit claims from equivocating god-botherer who won’t own up to effective treatment from scientists). Unfortunately, all the kewpie dolls we have are of phony professors whose pull-strings just spout religious babble. Trash bins are to your left, gentlemen.

  163. HappyHax0r says

    Thought I’d try my hand at it :)… It sucks but eh ;) here goes.

    As I stand and clear the rubble that was once my meager home,
    I cannot find my spouse or child, loved ones I called my own.
    I’m now an easy target for your message from the Lord,
    you waste time, a rare commodity that I scarcely can afford.

    You bring a message from your god, which you claim to be “the word”.
    You feed it to the huddled masses; hope to create a herd.
    You teach us that your God is loving; loves all within his sight,
    but your stories are just parables; your religion just a blight.

    You speak of love, compassion, healing; and yet you provide us none.
    You speak of “praying” as if it’s magic; the eternal life you’ve won.
    You bring us trinkets electronic; and no real purpose they behold.
    Your kind completely out of touch; your values all been sold.

    This land stands cracked and bleeding, yes, but it is not yet dead.
    The people here need your help, not mere games meant for the head.
    Deeds done for the good of man, of motives just and pure
    are not just done by religious folk, of that you can be sure.

    So keep your scripture, keep your preaching, keep the god that’s in your heads.
    And you can keep your fucking bible, we need water, food, and meds.

  164. The Gregarious Misanthrope says

    These words from Professor Dendy’s blog:

    “But, frankly, now I am mad, and mad because of the homosexual agenda being PUSHED DOWN EVERYONE’S THROAT – like it or not!”

    have the distinct aroma of latent homosexuality. Stop fighting it, man! Be the true you!

  165. SQB says

    Does anyone really believe a nerdy professor giving lectures is a profit-making enterprise?

    Christians seem to believe that because, unfortunately, theirs do.

  166. Tulse says

    “But, frankly, now I am mad, and mad because of the homosexual agenda being PUSHED DOWN EVERYONE’S THROAT – like it or not!”

    I suppose that handing out electronic Bibles and inscribing references to Bible passages on weapons somehow doesn’t count as “throat shoving”.

  167. Jadehawk, OM says

    have the distinct aroma of latent homosexuality. Stop fighting it, man! Be the true you!

    if there’s any latent anything there, it isn’t this guy’s. It’s the guy’s who invented the phrase “having the homosexual agenda showed down our throats”. The rest of the herd are just repeating it: perfect example of duckspeak, really.

  168. Rincewind'smuse says

    @148,

    Worse, he said that “We don’t want aid to come from Hugo Chavez. We don’t want aid to come from Communist China. We want aid to come from the United States and we want to come through Christian organizations.”

    WTF? You’d think he might want to ask the Haitians what they think about refusing aid from those countries.Who the hell is he and why should anyone care about his opinion? There were non faith based groups in Haiti before the quake too, don’t they count? And Prof Dendy, doctors are wrong sometimes,trust me ,I’m a doctor.Prognoses change all the time,and we are human, remember? Of course as we learn more it’s possible to be more accurate,but since you seem to not give much detail( imagine that) you make it difficult to render an informed opinion.You seem to be filled with bitterness and passive agressive bile to read your posts and attempt to follow your blog…..you need to let these feelings go and give yourself over to a higher……well, now wait, that hasn’t worked out for you so far, has it?

  169. timothy.green.name says

    Phone number (found on their “Job Opportunities” page): (800) 545-6552. Maybe we should tell them what we think of them.

    TRiG.

  170. Timaahy says

    Since their goal is to make an audio bible in every language, maybe we can just make more work for them by requesting a copy in Squiddish.

  171. Jadehawk, OM says

    Since their goal is to make an audio bible in every language, maybe we can just make more work for them by requesting a copy in Squiddish.

    and Klingon…

  172. otrame says

    Oh, John you just made my week. I am going to have some much fun with that link. May the Ceiling Cat give you lots of cheeseburgers. Srsly.

  173. Armand K. says

    In addition to the playing in a vacuum (not necessary for Haiti, AFAIK), I can’t help but wonder: are those self-powered, self-playing Bibles playing in Creole or will the “poor illiterates” have all to learn English first in order to listen to them? Or French… which is one of the official languages, but it’s somewhat in the situation of Latin in the Roman Empire…

  174. dpi1 says

    I had the same idea this morning while shaving, Dust & ktesibios & MolBio (and any other like minded posters I missed). I thought maybe someone with some electronics experience could develop a little radio kit that could use the speaker and the solar panel to give these people radios. Has anyone actually held one of these?

  175. MolBio says

    I posted this on the “Stay Home Scientologists” thread, but this seems like a more active discussion:

    How about an international guideline for disaster aid relief.

    All aid must come in the form of:
    Experts (ground co-ordination, disease control, engineers, sanitaion, and other qualified personnel of recognised institutions able to co-ordinate projects of aid organisations).

    Food supplies (as implied, prioritised by nutritional value, storability, ease to load / unload).

    Medical supplies (as implied, prioritised by immediate need, and value calculated through triage formula and overall number or demand).

    Construction team (as implied, general building of shelters and other needed structures including water purification).

    Medical team (as implied. Faith based medical teams are allowed 1 chaplain, with role limited to a field hospital only -last rites etc.- chaplain may not desseminate religious materials, and no distributable religious materials may come in with the hospital team.

    Penalties for abuse should be calculated by working out how much real help was displaced as a result of wasteful behaviour in breach of the rules, the human life cost as a result of useful aid displacement, and those responsible charged with manslaughter or some form of criminal negligence for each life lost as a result of denial of aid caused by resource displacement.

  176. MolBio says

    Oh, and something I forgot to ask. Which pseudo-charity is going to send Bono to the area to let them know he’s speaking of their plight to world leaders?

  177. v.rosenzweig says

    MolBio:

    You’ll never get those guidelines past most governments, because it would make it too obvious how much of their “aid” and “disaster relief” is anything but. Sending soldiers into Haiti and having them sit somewhere and, basically, protect themselves and a few foreign diplomats gets counted as “aid” by the Canadian government. Ditto money spent by the U.S. and Canada to “advise” or “support” a criminal “justice” system, regardless of whether any actual justice is involved. “Foreign aid” sounds a lot better than “subsidize multinational corporations” or “make sure somebody we like gets elected.”

    The U.S. is now counting sending soldiers to control the Port-au-Prince airport as aid: every soldier, every gun, is taking up space on a plane that therefore cannot be used by a doctor or a supply of antibiotics or tetanus vaccine.

    That may not be the goal of your proposal, but I doubt we can block the waste of space on bibles and proselytizers without also doing something about other things that benefit Haitians (or the locals in other countries, in other “aid” programs) not at all.

  178. Mariano says

    Am I understanding this correctly?

    FCBY is teamed up with another org and are supplying food for the body and soul.

    For the past few years atheists worldwide have literally wasted enormous amounts of money during times of recession, war and poverty not in helping anyone in any material need but in order to purchase bus ads and billboards attempting to demonstrated just how clever they consider themselves to be; and now they want to become the charity police please!

  179. Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM says

    Wow, I guess all atheists world wide must have been donating to billboard campaigns instead of donating to charities. Mariano, your insight is simply staggering.

  180. WowbaggerOM says

    Mariano wrote:

    FCBY is teamed up with another org and are supplying food for the body and soul.

    Please demonstrate for us that such a thing as a ‘soul’ exists, and that it can be ‘fed’.

  181. Nerd of Redhead, OM says

    Yawn, another presuppositional idjit. No “soul” has ever been shown to exist. What a dweeb.

  182. John Morales says

    Mariano, just roughly, what would you say the ratio of theistic to atheistic “ads and billboards” is?

    What about such as Gideon Bibles? Outreach ministries?

    Here is a case not just of tu quoque, but of tu quoque ad extremis!