Poll to insert random slogans in civic spaces

Someone in Kissimmee, Florida got it into their head that the city logo was lacking in pointless accolades to their deity, so they want to jam one in. There’s a poll, of course.

Kissimmee city commissioners are considering putting “In God We Trust” on a new city logo. Commissioner Art Otero says he proposed the change because he doesn’t like the way the country is headed. Commissioner Carlos Irizarry questioned its legal advisability. The ACLU says it discriminates in favor of religions that believe in one God.

Should Kissimmee add “In God We Trust” to its official city logo?

Yes. It’s a patriotic move, just as the commissioner said.
53.3%
No. It discriminates in favor of monotheistic religions.
35.5%
I don’t know. What’s wrong with leaving it the way it is?
11.2%

I never can quite get the connection between patriotism and religion. Oh, wait, of course: it’s because the loudest proponents of both tend to be equally mindless!

I think they should have a new poll: “Should Kissimmee add ‘There is one god and Mohammed is his prophet’ to its official city logo?” If Art Otero can see that as a reasonable alternative, then I’d give him credit for being open-minded and really wanting to endorse faith as a solution to the nation’s problems, rather than being just another sectarian wackjob.

The choice is clear

If you’re considering a pet, you have to weigh the pros and cons.

i-eabfa6aa2d1c06d62f05bb85e2b097db-pets.jpeg

Wow, when they’re all laid out like that, you just have to choose the squid.

Now wait — maybe you’ve got some brain-damaged children running around who chose poorly, or you flipped a coin and are now stuck with the decision to get puppies. Don’t despair! Get both! In fact, get lots of puppies — they make excellent squid chow, and they’re also useful fresh stock to have around in case peckish atheists come to visit.

More Discovery Institute bulldung on the way to my door

Supposedly, the Next Big Thing in the Intelligent Design creationism movement is Stephen Meyer’s new book, Signature in the Cell: DNA and the Evidence for Intelligent Design(amzn/b&n/abe/pwll). Meyer is wandering about the country, peddling absurd op-eds and flogging his book in bad talks. Here’s a good summary of one of his presentations in Seattle:

To sum up, Meyer’s argument is as follows:

(1) According to Bill Gates, DNA is like a computer program.
(2) Because I am unfamiliar with the field known as genetic programming, every computer program I’ve ever heard of has had a developer.
(3) Charles Darwin once used the principle of Inference To The Best Explanation.
(4) Even though Darwin was a wicked, wicked man, I’m going to use that same principle to refute him. It will be, you know, irony.
(5) I say that intelligent design is the best explanation for the computer-program-like-ness of DNA.
(6) Therefore, by Darwin’s own reasoning, intelligent design must be true.
(7) Please buy my book.

I’ve read excerpts of this book. I’ve seen reviews and summaries of its argument. I’ve seen the freaking title. I know what is in this book — “ooooh, it’s so complex, it must have been…DESIGNED!!11!” — and I know that Stephen Meyer lies and makes up pseudoscientific babble, so I have very poor expectations of this book: I anticipate bad biology and even worse information theory, and a mangled pretense of science by a contemptible poseur. I do have a review copy on the way, though, and I will read it from beginning to end, taking notes and snorting in derisive laughter all the way, and I will take David Klinghoffer’s ridiculous challenge to make a serious response. I won’t win, though: my review will be too long for him, and unless there’s some magic ju-ju that will completely reverse my opinion of ID creationism hidden in the text (which, strangely, none of the favorable reviews have bothered to highlight), it will most likely not be the kind of positive cheerleading for creationism that Klinghoffer favors.

Up or down?

A professor of religion has decided that atheism is in decline and the “New Atheists” are over. Why? Because sales of books by the “New Atheists” have declined since their release several years ago, Karen Armstrong has published her silly book, and surveys show that atheists are still a minority. And the reason they flopped is because atheists are such mean poopieheads.

In other words, more bleary-eyed wishful thinking from a mind squicked by religion. Gosh, yes, older books sell at a much lower volume than fresh, new releases. And if you want to claim a trend, you can’t just cite data from one time point — you need at least two. He also thinks atheism needs to be “kinder, gentler and (most of all) wiser”. Sorry, guy. I gave all my “kinder, gentler” to my mom, and all I’ve got left is kick-ass for you…and it’s a funny definition of “wiser” that means “believe in angels”.

Besides, Mr Religion Professor ought to be reading the Christian Science Monitor, which reports that atheism is growing. Unlike Mr RP, they at least know that you need to report prior numbers compared to current numbers if you want to talk about a trend. He tut-tuts over a mere 15% of the population reporting a lack of religion. The CSM says,

Some 15 percent of Americans claim no religious affiliation, up from 8.2 percent in 1990, according to Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey, released in March. Also, the American Humanist Association claims 20,000 financial supporters. That marks a doubling from five years ago, says spokeswoman Karen Frantz.

It’s got much more evidence, too. My subjective feeling from visiting many freethought groups over the years has been one of remarkable growth and booming enthusiasm; the article confirms that with reports of enrollment numbers and donation figures.

Mr Religion Professor needs to stick to his day job. At least there, making stuff up and imaginary figures are considered normal.

O Minnesota!

Scarcely do I mention that Texas goes recruiting in Minnesota for kooks, but I learn that John Charles Wilson is running for governor of Minnesota.

Wilson’s Edgertonite National Party is based on the Lauraist religion, a movement he created that believes Laura Ingalls Wilder is God and that the Lauraist homeland will occupy an area within a 240-mile radius of Minneapolis.

“A new nation, to be called Edgerton, with its capital at Minneapolis, should be created on the land from approximately Hibbing to Des Moines, and from Fargo to Madison,” says Wilson’s campaign Web site.

Communism is the mode of government of said nation, with an abolition of all laws except those necessary for public safety.

Wilson has written two books, “The Principles of Lauraism” and “The Conscience of a Communist.”

Wilson says he was institutionalized in the early 1980s because of his political and religious beliefs.

I should have also remembered that time that we had a vampire running for governor. Oh, yeah, and the professional wrestler.

Billboard wars!

The atheists put up billboards, the Christians put up billboards. What’s the difference? One small difference can be found in this story about new pro-theocracy ads going up in Florida.

The billboards showcase quotes from early American leaders like John Adams, James Madison and Benjamin Franklin. Most of the quotes portray a national need for Christian governance.

I don’t believe the founding fathers were infallible, so just digging up quotes from old dead white guys who liked Jesus doesn’t impress me much. But wait! That’s not the difference yet. This is the difference:

Others carry the same message but with fictional attribution, as with one billboard citing George Washington for the quote, “It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.”

“I don’t believe there’s a document in Washington’s handwriting that has those words in that specific form,” Kemple said. “However, if you look at Washington’s quotes, including his farewell address, about the place of religion in the political sphere, there’s no question he could have said those exact words.”

This opens up whole new realms of Biblical scholarship, you know. Maybe their god didn’t say in these particular words in this specific form, “The fool says, ‘There is a God'”, but there’s no question that those words could have been there, and it’s certainly in line with the biblical gestalt.

Or, just maybe, atheists shouldn’t make stuff up.

My inner Bennett Cerf

These will
keep you groaning all day.

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effects. Apparently he was ambidextrose.

A bloke walks into a pub, and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says “That’ll be 80p (ATP) please!”
(note 100p = £1, and ATP is short for Adenosinetriphosphate, but you already knew that.)

Some genetic researchers were studying Acinonyx jubatus to find out why he had a high abnormal sperm count. They gave a group of these animals a histocompatibility (tissue-type) test.

“This is singular,” observed one to the other. “Every one of these cats gave the same answers.”

“Aw,” drawled the other, “they’re all a bunch of cheetahs.

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.

Q: What tool is used to measure a hole in the head?

A: A Phineas gage.

Q: Why didn’t the dendrochronologist get married?

A: All he ever dated was trees!

Q: What is the only thing worse than a mecium?
A: A Paramecium

Q: What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

A: In order of increasing groans:

1: Hallowed.

2: Harold. (As in, “Harold be thy name.)

3: Haploid. (Best of all.)

Q: As what did the antibody go to the Halloween costume party?

A: As an “immunogobulin”.

Q: What’s a biologists definition of a graph?

A: An animal with a long neck

Adenine proposing to guanine:”You know dear, mismatches are made in heaven”.

What did one thermophilic bacteriologist say online to another?

“I think you are really hot. Your PCR mine?”

There are some happy sciences, but others are not so happy. A case in point concerns embryologists who tend to be a morose and saddened group than most. No wonder. One of the first things they learn is that our lives are ova before they’ve begun.

A red blood cell walked into a busy restaurant. The hostess asked, “Would you like to sit at the bar?”

The red cell answered, “No thanks, I’ll just circulate.

How do you recognize a native American cell biologist?

He lives in ATP!

They were the first to attempt to colonize Mars. They knew it would be difficult , but they were determined to succeed.

They had landed with grass seeds to plant and embryos of horse, sheep and cattle. But the grass wouldn’t grow, and none of the calves survived. The horses and sheep were doing well, but there not enough animals to meet their needs.

So they sent a message to earth asking for more sheep and horses and a replacement for the cattle and grass. They particularly wanted an animal that could be used as meat in place of beef.

Earth radioed back asking if venison would be satisfactory and the colonists replied it was.

Finally a space shuttle arrived with the needed supplies. The bill of lading was rushed to the leader of the colony who then spoke to his consul, “we got everything we asked for,” he shouted. . . . “They sent mare zygotes and doe zygotes and little lambs and ivy.”

SERVER UPGRADE AT 7PM EST

We just got the very abrupt word that Seed will be doing an upgrade of our servers tonight, like real soon now, and that during this process you won’t be able to make comments. Apparently, the little text box will still be there, and you’ll be able to type away madly, but nothing will happen. Don’t get frustrated, just be patient, and maybe tomorrow we’ll see some improvement in performance.