You’ve got to be young? And Australian?


I guess I’m out then. Except…this is the internet! We can all pretend to be Young Australian Skeptics, and no one will know any better!

“G’day, mate, doesn’t Jess Origliasso have lovely bosoms?” (← my cunning imitation of a young Australian)

Comments

  1. omnipasje says

    Why on earth would those people picket the ceremony where australians are mourning for the dead in the bushfires?

    I’m lost.

  2. Your Mighty Overload says

    Sorry PZ, but I doubt any young person (a comparative term, I know) of any nation (although perhaps especially Australians) uses the word “bosoms” in that context…..

    Nice to see old man Phelps enjoying his catharsis so much.

  3. Eyeoffaith says

    The Phelps came to Australia to try and picket the National Day or Mourning!! They are real scum. I can imagine what would have happened to them if they tried to protest it.

  4. Nick says

    Should any WBC picketers survive to make it into court after picketing an Australian bushfire memorial service, they’d find that the Australian courts aren’t quite as tolerant of arseholes’ freedom of speech as their US counterparts.

  5. Eyeoffaith says

    Omnipasje@1.

    I think their “logic” is that anytime something bad happens it is because that Country is not killing gay people as soon as they are identified. Therefore they like to show up at funerals and other ceremonies to make sure everybody knows just how much God hates them for being tolerant.

  6. LC says

    I can imagine what would have happened to them if they tried to protest it.

    I have a pretty good idea – the only real unknown would be if Freddy went to intensive care or the mortuary.

    He probably realised that his high flaunting lawyer credentials don’t mean squat here. And then the realisation that he is a looong way from any safe harbours of fellow bible thumpers/sympathetic politicans and he would have been surrounded by a _lot_ of very angry people who wouldn’t pull their punches (figuratively and literally).

    The police were more likely there for his protection than anything else. Still, he gets another chance when the G&L Mardi Gras wolls around in July or so.

  7. JaketheMush says

    As a young Australian, I resent the accuracy of that imitation.

    Anyhow, I thank you for the post and excellent blog, I feel less alienated today!

  8. SmilingAtheist says

    Damn, they didn’t make it. That would have been a real funny situation to see. I’m a Canadian living in Australia, I know exactly what would have happened to them. They probably wouldn’t have made it back to the US. They probably realised that as well. They obviously have some intelligence, when it’s their own skin.

    I’m not really one to hate another person but sometimes…

    These people are sick. Truly sick.

    P.S.

    PZ, I’d work on that accent a bit. ;-)

  9. says

    I could tell PZ is not a young australian from that imitation by his reluctance to use the word cunt in both an endearing manner and as an insult.

  10. Sven says

    Haha, that guy from Westboro cracked me up every time he spat out a fully syllableised (yep, it’s now a word) version of “Os.trey.lee.ah”

    Hint for your budding accent, PZ: there’s no “i” in Australia, and there’s even bonus points if you can cut it down to a lazy “straya”.

  11. Dr Yobbo says

    As a young Australian skeptic… OK an aging Australian has-been… I’ll try and translate that into ‘Strayan:

    ‘Yeah, nah, mate that chick from the Veronicas has a great set ay?’

    Obviously I left out the most important feature of ‘Strayan language – the gratuitous use of profanity as verb, noun, adjective and punctuation – as this is a family website.

    As regards the Phelps, Australia’s already had some home-grown fundamentalist nutcase preacher claim that the bushfires were God’s visitation on the masses for our abortion laws. He got ignored (either that or lynched, he’s been quiet since) and so will this lot.

  12. Rey Fox says

    Where do these shitstains get the money to jet off to Australia on a whim? I’ve been wanting to go back to Oz since I first went there in 1997, and I GUARANTEE you that my visit would be more positive for the country than the Phelps’, but my means are keeping me here. The fucking Phelps’ don’t deserve Australia.

  13. Rey Fox says

    “Hint for your budding accent, PZ: there’s no “i” in Australia, and there’s even bonus points if you can cut it down to a lazy “straya”.”

    I thought it ended with an “r”.

  14. says

    PZ, that is the worst imitation of a young Australian ever.

    Accent wise you might be better off trying to be a Vic. Us croweaters sound different to you Yanks.

    By the sounds of it those Seppos from Phelps’ church never made it.

  15. Ragutis says

    Seriously, I think I would die laughing if Fred Phelps was struck by lightning and killed while picketing. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of the rest of the family?

  16. clinteas says

    Thanks PZ for posting this at a time when the southern hemispherists have the bridge on Pharyngula !

    Useless scum like this bunch maybe needs closer exposure to bushfires….The world would be better off.

    As to young australians,the males are usually rubbish,but the gals have a certain rough charme hehehe…(I should know,I once married one)

    This young sceptic lot btw does a great job,theyre very active and constructive !

  17. TRiCky says

    #15 As a (young, skeptical) Australian I couldn’t be more proud of the grammatical construction that is “Yeah, nah”.

    This case is a demonstration that there are occassional upsides to no constitutional guarantee of free speech, but on the whole I’m not sure its worth it.

    The only thing more annoying than the idiot who said the bushfires were caused by legalisation of abortion in Victoria is that abortion has only just been (officially) legalised in that state.

  18. says

    #16 Dear Rey Fox

    Thank you thank you thank you! I had just worked myself up into a frenzied rage after watching Phelps spew about the Victorian fires.

    I actually felt sick.

    Then I read your comment. “SHITSTAINS”&!$%^*@&^

    I am still chortling.

    Thank you.

  19. Dr Yobbo says

    Was almost going to go with ‘Yeah nah yeah’ but that would have just sounded like Andrew Symonds.

    Cricket joke. Unlikely to translate well.

  20. Dr Yobbo says

    #21 – I was almost going to go with ‘Yeah nah yeah’ but that would have just sounded like a drunk Andrew Symonds.

    Australian cricket joke. Unlikely to translate well I realise.

  21. Dr Yobbo says

    Double post FLAIL, apols. That’s the thing about Symmo – it’s probably because he’s a West Indian kid adopted by English people in Birmingham that he’s so desperate to be so overtly ‘Strayan (and in particular a Quoinslaaaandaa.) The laddie doth protest too much methinks.

    Always wondered why more people don’t get run out by him when batting together. His calling of a run must be a bit interpretive.

  22. MS says

    Along with #16 I wonder where in the world they get the money to just go anyplace on the planet they feel like for their antics. Weren’t they just in London? In addition to the plane fares, London has some of the most expensive lodgings in the world and food ain’t cheap there, either.

    Seriously, does anyone know what they do to fund their activities?

  23. says

    As a representative for the Young Australian Skeptics website, I humbly bow to your gracious posting of this link, PZ! :D

    Just as a tip for your young (and admittedly broad) Australian accent: young people over here tend not to say “g’day” or “mate”, unless they are truly aspiring to be a bogan (which is never a good thing, in my opinion). Suitable alternatives could be “Oi”, “Hey”, “Wotcha”, “Dude”, “[insert first name here]”, or nothing at all.

    Don’t worry, PZ, if you come over here to Australia I guarantee that people won’t make fun of you for your funny American accent. Maybe.

  24. Wowbagger says

    Seriously, if they had turned up I could imagine that they’d have had the living shit kicked out of them – twice. Once by the people and then again by the police called to stop the people doing the first kicking.

    You do not want to fuck with Australians when lives have been lost. There aren’t that many of us, so we take it very seriously.

    The idea that a bunch of woo-addled, Jesus-loving scumbags like these turds would try to milk publicity out of something like this forces me to think very long and hard about my dedication to non-violence.

  25. puseaus says

    Try watching the video with Johnny Hodges playing “Sir John” as background to Phelps mumbling. Turn the volume up a bit. The surreal combination is quite cool!

  26. David Marjanović, OM says

    As a (young, skeptical) Australian I couldn’t be more proud of the grammatical construction that is “Yeah, nah”.

    Shamelessly plagiarised from southern German.

    <duck & cover>

  27. says

    Surely Phelps would have realized by now that he is not exactly the most liked person, and that his “message” is not exactly being well recieved… right?

  28. DebinOz says

    “Bosoms”? Nup, they’d be hooters, or maybe funbags.

    Regarding these idiots, Oi reckun they’d be used for back-burning fuel.

  29. says

    Surely Phelps would have realized by now that he is not exactly the most liked person, and that his “message” is not exactly being well recieved… right?

    Yep.

    He’s an attention whore. He wants to get beat up, so he can sue and make money. That’s his m.o.

    Although, I must admit, he’s pretty ballsy (more likely, stupid) taking it to other countries with different legal systems that may not care as much about his “rights” than the fact he’s being a total dick.

  30. says

    “G’day, mate, doesn’t Jess Origliasso have lovely bosoms?”
    Now, wouldn’t a real skeptic hesitate to make a claim like that without definitive evidence?

    [Google]

    Crikey!!

  31. Equisetum says

    “Go to godhatestheworld.com and click on Australia.”

    That’s where my wife and I both lost it and broke out in guffaws. This guy is a near perfect example of Poe’s law. He’s his own parody.

    My wife (who is German, and has had little exposure to fundamentalist thinking) asked me “Who takes this guy seriously?”
    “No one,” I said. “He’s a miserable little man whose entire church consists of his own brainwashed family, and every one who he sees him reacts exactly the way we did.”

  32. JM says

    “mate” is a term of great subtlety and should be used with caution by foreigners (ie. not at all if you’ve got any sense)

    In modern usage, having an Australian refer to me as “mate” would have me ducking for cover and/or looking for the knife in my back.

    Often it’s a bit like being sent roses by the Mafia.

    But don’t worry too much, we know you’re just a heathen (it’s godz own c’ntry ya know mate) and can’t be expected to know any better – we know you mean well.

  33. heliobates says

    RE: #27

    Always wondered why more people don’t get run out by him when batting together. His calling of a run must be a bit interpretive.

    See here: it’s clearly intelligent and obviously trying to communicate with us. If we could just break this obscure code!

  34. Jeremy says

    PZ, the Young Australian Skeptics also have an official podcast called ‘The Pseudo Scientists’! It’s rather cool! Check it out!

  35. Ray Ladbury says

    Guys, remember, these guys picket funerals of fallen soldiers with placards telling the families their relatives are in hell. I have a friend who refers to his congregation as mutant inbred piglets.

    Now, if we could just get the local constabulary to relax their protective vigilance ever so slightly…

  36. says

    David Marjanović @36,

    [“Yeah, nah”:] Shamelessly plagiarised from southern German

    Most likely it’s still too early in the day for me (it’s 3 pm), but I’m turning that over and over in my head and I’m just not seeing it. “Ge“? “Ha noi“? The closest thing that occurs to me is “Jo mei“, but even that is not quite the same thing.

    There is a perfect German equivalent, but it’s not especially southern: Boah ey; as in, “Boah ey mann, hat die geile Titten oder was ey!” (which I shall leave untranslated lest the tender puritanical sensibilities of PZ’s American readers be pained.)

    Mind you, it’s not altogether outside the realm of possibility that a phrase like “Sakrament, ‘s Madl hod fai Hoiz voa deara Hiddn!” might occasionally have escaped a southerner’s lips. I just don’t what part of it would be like “yeah, nah”.

  37. Vidar says

    [blockqoute]
    “G’day, mate, doesn’t Jess Origliasso have lovely bosoms?” (← my cunning imitation of a young Australian)
    [/blockquote]

    PZ, that’s “bonza knockers”. Your use of “lovely bosoms” has exposed you as a) not Australian, and b) not young.

    Also, don’t forget your aussie hat (with the corks on strings attached).

  38. says

    Bosoms? Hooters? No. Funbags certainly has its users.

    Knockers. Tits. Boobs (Boobies). Melons. Puppies. Jugs. Maybe Gazongas but not for Young Australians. Same goes for Norks. Possibly Baps and occasionally Headlights (sometimes on high beam).

    Of course, I’m a middle-aged Australian so I might be off the mark too.

  39. clinteas says

    Mrs Tilton,

    there is something like “Ja,nee” in German,which would be equivalent,but it wouldnt be used in the South,more in the west or northwest.

    And hey,we’re almost alone,we can say “Titten” if we want to…:-)

  40. ajay says

    Now, if we could just get the local constabulary to relax their protective vigilance ever so slightly…

    In a way, it shows impressive faith in the impartiality of the US justice system. If I turned up at the funeral of a dead soldier in the rural US (or Australia, or anywhere else for that matter) and started shouting unpatriotic abuse, I wouldn’t expect to get away unscathed, and I certainly wouldn’t expect a jury to find in my favour when I sued.

    We should have let him into Britain. A quick ASBO, followed by a stiff jail sentence when he (inevitably) broke it, might have done him some good.

  41. JJR says

    Maybe Phelps could’ve paid homage to Ken Ham by visiting Queensland. Or Ray Comfort’s former abode, New Zealand.

    Of course, he’d have to box/wrestle the local Aussie preacher to decide ultimately if Gawd started the fires because of 1) teh gay or 2) abortion. Best 2 out of 3 matches.

  42. Quintastic says

    HAHA. Nice try PZ.

    You should just have a listen to their podcast..

    Darn it I just love aussie accents!!!

  43. Kendo says

    I was horrified until Fred dutifully informed us that, if we want to know how much GOD HATES AUSTRALIA, all we have to do is go to GOD HATES THE WORLD and click on AUSTRALIA. I’m afraid I couldn’t maintain my outrage. That really cracked me up.

  44. says

    Funbags certainly has its users.

    The first (only?) time I heard that one was on House, M.D., in reference to the delectable Dr. Cuddy.

    Young Australians

    Isn’t that a David Bowie song?

  45. shonny says


    Posted by: Ragutis | February 24, 2009 3:11 AM
    Seriously, I think I would die laughing if Fred Phelps was struck by lightning and killed while picketing. Can you imagine the looks on the faces of the rest of the family?

    Uh, think a lotALL of Aussies would help that lightening by attaching the godfucking prick to a high-tension power line, with him well earthed. THAT would be a laugh.

  46. Patricia, OM says

    That sure was a whole lot of gawd is love. Interesting that he calls the Aussies bastards when his own grandson actually is one.

    I don’t get the whole thing about Ledger molesting one of Phelps church members. Phelps needs to be locked in a padded cell.

  47. Rey Fox says

    “@MS, they were denied entry visas to the UK before they even set off.”

    Which is sort of my point: They couldn’t get to the UK, so they just turned right around and hopped to Australia instead. Plenty of people would KILL to be able to travel like that.

    Thanks Annie M., for finding some pleasure in my little venting.

  48. says

    “What? You mean, like, our Jess?”

    “Nah mate, nah – not Jess Jess. Y’know – that other bint, whatshername, that Origli-somthin’ bint.”

    “Aw, y’mean that Origliasso bird?”

    “Yeah mate, yeah! Whadda ya rekon?”

    “Too right, mate, too right. Good pair of knockers on that one!”

    Just don’t ask for the Kiwi version. The phrase ‘Tru As’ would have to come into it (don’t ask).

  49. grinch says

    “bosoms”, “bonza knockers” and the like are all too high brow for this Australian. “Tits” will do just fine.

  50. Glenn Davey says

    We’d prob call ’em tits. We like to shrtn everythin’ to its smallest pssbl lngth

    COS WE’RE JUST THAT LAID-BACK!!! :D

  51. says

    Of course, he’d have to box/wrestle the local Aussie preacher to decide ultimately if Gawd started the fires because of 1) teh gay or 2) abortion. Best 2 out of 3 matches.

    lol, I’d pay to see that. And the crowd should be full of people who lost loved-ones in the fires. They’ll be dead quicker than Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays.

  52. JakeTheMush says

    As a young Australian ‘strayan Pharingula reader:

    “Farck, I’d like my nippers to have those immunities.”

  53. wrpd says

    I know there is no “i” in team, but there definitely is an “i” in AustralIa.
    Na is a corruption of nun. Not as in sister, but german for now.