This cute, innocent little 3-year-old just wants his name in frosting on his birthday cake, and the bakery refused to do it. Harsh, man. Poor little guy. And he’s probably going to have to deal with this blatant discrimination for the rest of his life.
He’s also stuck with a pair of dingleberries for parents. They named him…Adolf Hitler.
(via Techskeptic)
People suck sometimes, don’t they?
His parents need to be spanked repeatedly. Someone get the poor kid’s name changed post-haste.
Hey, nothing’s stopping the parents from baking their own cake. I’m sure they know how to operate an oven.
It gets worse. His sister’s name is JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell.
These are cruel parents.
what a douche
On the flip side, letting your kid choose your own name isn’t such a good idea either:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/somerset/7707098.stm
There will be a law suit, no doubt. Child abuse. That’s what it is.
That’ll pay for a new summer home for some psychiatrist. If poor little Adolf has the money, that is.
Are we sure the story is true?
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Poor, poor kid. From the article:
and their daughter’s name is JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. However, “He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated.”. While I agree that a name is just a name, these parents seem to be so sheltered that they don’t even realize why others might not like name Adolf Hitler. Also…Hitler is this kid’s middle name. Is it really that important to have your middle name on a birthday cake? I never did. I hope this kid manages to become a well-adjusted adult, despite his parents’ lunacy.
I have spent the last three hours dealing with messed up family shit surrounding the HollyDaze, and I really wasn’t expecting so see something here to make them look like model parents by comparison, but there it is. Wow.
Double fail for the kid when he grows up:
1. He’s named after one of history’s most notorious monsters.
2. He’s a walking Godwin
I live 30 miles west of Easton, and I am sincerely sorry to see this. just hope the kids end up okay
Think that’s bad? My parents named me “Christian”.
But the cool thing is, on my boarding passes, it gets cut off a bit and just shows, “Christ”.
Is there any way for Adolf to change his name, at least when he’s of legal age?
If the story is true, the parents are attention whores, plain and simple. Almost makes me think sterilization should be mandatory in some cases!
Hummm, one dispicable name, maybe that is ignorance. Two, that is knowing what you do. They try to get away with the unusual name argument, but that does not hold with two nazi-name.
An interesting story. Do parents have the right to name their kids whatever they like no matter what the consequences? Do the parents alleged right to do so trump the rights of the children not to be subject to the abuse that decision makes? Does the state have the right to intervene? Under what circumstance? If the child was named an obscene word would the state be able to intervene? On what grounds? This is an interesting legal can of worms. Any constitutional scholars want to weigh in? I’d be interested in hearing from informed opinion.
Hey, don’t prejudge. The name could be the key to his future fame and fortune in Death Metal music.
Notice that Wal-Mart had no problem decorating the cake.
… I’m honestly not sure if that’s a positive or negative :)
That’s not funny in the least. I got teased about my name as a kid, and it sucks.
These parents are sick.
One the other hand, look at some of the hippy kids names – Moon Unit, Sunny Days, Lavender Fields, High Ty…I could go on.
I suppose if he has a little brother his name will be Jeffery Dahmer.
Sounds like the parents are nice, suburban, middle-of-the-road, white supremists. Mum hanging up the white hoods and brown shirts on the line, while Dad mows a swastika into the lawn. Little Adolf plays with his panzers in the sandpit.
Posted by: Kim | December 17, 2008 17:21 UT
Agree. If it was only what he said in the interview, I would have been inclined to give him a pass.
Posted by: Boomer | December 17, 2008 17:15 UT
Almost?
There are certain names that parents should avoid… Adolf, Caligula, Nero, Windows Vista…
From the article:
Translation: “I’m not a racist, I don’t hate other races. I just think they should stick to their own kind”
To be fair, he did also say he would “try to raise his children differently” but naming them ‘Adolf Hitler’ and ‘Aryan Nation’ probably isn’t a good start on that…
I really just don’t what to say about this.
@3: Wow, nice one.
I predict the next Campbell offspring will get a name like Klaus Barbie.
I have a number of acquaintances who put way too much effort into “freaking the mundanes” whenever they can. This is often accompanied by protestations about how they’re entitled to do so (which they are), but it also comes with complaints about other people’s reactions to their displays.
I’ve explained to a few of them that yes, they can choose to present themselves anyway they care to, but they can’t decide how anyone will react to them.
Now, in the case of these shitheads who named their kid Adolf Hitler, let’s just say that if he grows up and murders them in their sleep, the prosecution might want to use one of their peremptory strikes to excuse me from the Jury.
-jcr
“Dingleberries” seems too kind a term for Adolf’s brain-damaged parents. When he’s an adult, though, he can change his name to whatever he likes. Maybe a nice family-oriented name like Oedipus.
This example makes me feel less irritated by my ditzy sister-in-law, who refuses to give her children traditional names unless she gets to screw them up first: Chloe with a K? (Give me a break.)
Besides the kid, I’ve got a lot of sympathy for any member of the Clan Campbell. First the Glencoe massacre, and now this? How much more damage can their reputation take?
-jcr
Does anyone else find it at all ironic/troubling that some people’s response to this is to express a desire to see undesirable people forcibly sterilized?
Well, it’s all the same in your stomach: it won’t make any difference what was written on the cake after he Goebbels it down.
You forgot AOL.
____________
Seriously people, these parents are like, we’re gonna take the name Adolf Hitler back from the Nazis. Come on, they’re not stupid.
Someone on FreeRepublic pointed out that the father, had he lived in Germany in the time of his hero, would have in all probability been sent to the gas chamber as an “excess mouth”.
All I can say is Holy Crap.
Gotta go now. It’s time for me to put little Joseph Stalin Anderson to bed.
The third child is named Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Were they aiming for Himmler?
There are related photos here: http://photos.lehighvalleylive.com/gallery/4424/Adolf%20Hitler%20Campbell
These people know exactly what they are doing.
Imagine if little adolf ends up joining the ANL(anti nazi league), and protests neo nazi meetings;
neo nazi: “heil hitler”
lil’ hitler: “lolwut?”
@Emmet #31
Waaaaah Ha ha ha ha HA HA HA ha ha haaaaaa!!!… ohhhhh….
Atleast they did not name him George W Bush, one of the single worst people in the last decade.
Atleast Hitler was a brilliant leader, Yay. and A name is just a name.
Regardless of his parent’s douchebaggery, the kid has the right not to be discriminated against.
“Does anyone else find it at all ironic/troubling that some people’s response to this is to express a desire to see undesirable people forcibly sterilized?”
In many, many ways, they are walking Poes. And those are also the comments that make atheists look bad in the eyes of others.
I’m unsure of whether their child should be taken from them just because of his name, since for all we know, he could be raised with almost no neglect. However, this reflects very badly on the parents, and casts deserved suspicions in their eyes. I certainly think that they should be required to change his name.
JCR – You just had to bring up this clan Campbell stuff didn’t you.
Je suis prest!
@james #38
He was a great political leader, but he wasn’t so good with military tactics. He was far too overzealous, and instead of cutting his wins and settling down, he kept pulling at the threads of the world, and got in far too deep.
@31: Another good one! Way to turn those frowns upside-down, guys.
@40: What about those comments are atheistic, praytell? I usually don’t like the label “concern troll,” but I think your comment might apply. I’m going to go ahead and guess you had that comment ready before even perusing the other comments, and started typing as soon as you saw one thing you didn’t like.
This makes me think maybe New Zealand has the right idea. (Note one of the example unacceptable names…)
this can’t be a real story. no-one can fail that much at pseudo-provocatism.
How very “Prussian Blue” of those parents. Evil little shits. I hope those children are strong enough to get past all of the indoctrination they must be going through.
It would be the mixing bit that would pose the problem.
Crap, wrong link. This one has the example name.
Poetic justice would be this boy changing his name to Hans Scholl Campbell at 18, coming out of the closet, & marrying a black Jewish socialist.
Hey, a girl can dream…
I grew up not too far from Easton. While this kind of racist stupidity obviously doesn’t typify everyone who lives around there, I can tell you it is all too common, especially among the so-called German-Americans who live there. Can a kid sue his/her parents for their name if it is damaging to them later in life? It would be an interesting idea to try out in court at least.
Skwee, don’t be silly, there is no Jewish Socialist, they only care about money. :)
Also, how is it that I need a license to drive a car in this country but not to have a child?
You just had to bring up this clan Campbell stuff didn’t you.
Well, I do sympathize with the MacDonalds. Clan Bruce and Clan MacDonald go waaay back.
-jcr
wood: Because no americans would ever past the test, sorry, you are to stupid, as an american teacher ones told me “American schools are not made to teach, but to get yo ua job”.
Just wait till SC and Emmet start punning this thread.
I find myself wondering if by “mixed race”, Mr. Campbell means “part-Slavic”, or “part-Southern-European”.
Feh.
I checked over at stormfront and the white supremacists/Aryan nation folks think the parents are fucked up!
@TwinSkies
Thanks for the link to the news story. They spelled faze correctly! I was beginning to think it was dying out.
Poor kid.
I have often wondered about this kind of thing. I mean, we license people to have cars, guns and the like, but any fool can be a parent. Doesn’t matter if you will be a fit parent or not – often the less fit a parent you might be, the more likely you are to become one. Doesn’t the kid’s future matter in all this? Don’t we as a society have a right to prevent people from breeding who, let’s face it, are often pretty much unable to fend for themselves, let alone take care of a kid?
We live on a planet of nearly 7 billion people. We have no problem with legislation to prevent people and companies from polluting, or from actions which might result in the death of individuals. Isn’t bringing children into the world just as important a decision? If people cannot be trusted to make reasonable, sensible decisions, why should we allow them the freedom to make said decisions.
Incidentally, in New Zealand a court prevented a couple from naming their offspring “Talula does the hula from Hawaii”. They ruled it would make her the target of ridicule.
Others have been likewise rejected, such as “Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit”. Although twins named “Benson” and “Hedges” was acceptable, as, apparently were “Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter”.
But my friends on facebook changed their middle names to Hussein because names aren’t supposed to mean anything. It seems like this is the same thing, right?
PZ pretty much summed it up.
The folks at the bakery are a bunch of douchebags for refusing to put the kids name on the cake.
C’mon.
The kid is 3 years old.
Let him enjoy his childhood while he still can.
Reality will rear its ugly head soon enough.
Still no law in the US against naming your kid in ways that could hurt them later?
Something else for President Obama to do ASAP.
And then the Hollyschrott celebs might think about naming their kids…
O, I forgot. Most don’t.
Think, that is.
;-)
Poor kid.refusing the bakery’s offer to make them an undecorated cake.
And the parents are shitheads, not only for naming their children idiotically and being gigantic racist assholes, but also for
(I hope the link works.)
“Doesn’t matter if you will be a fit parent or not – often the less fit a parent you might be, the more likely you are to become one.”- Your MO #59
*nods with a grimace* Quite so. Damn Shame.
As someone with a very unusual and akward name I must say that these parents are setting their kid up for a lifetime of misery and resentment. I was given a family name and I am also the third person in our family to have this name so I not only have a first name that most people cant pronounce but I have a “III” stuck to the end of my name as well. Computers and legal forms can never cope with my name and it has caused a tremendous amount of unneccesary headaches. This situation has caused me so much stress in my life and so much resentment toward my parents that it has driven a serious wedge between me and my family who will not give me permission to change my name legally due to the family legacy of this horrible name. If I went ahead and did change my name I think that my parents would be so furious that its just not worth the hassel. I use the shortened version of my middle name now and I often daydream about what it would be like to have a normal name and I obsessivley make lists of what I wish my name could be. Anyone out there who wants to give their child a highly unusual name should think it over very seriously before setting your child up for serious psychological damage and a lifetime of resentment.
I have to ask – if dad Campbell likes the name so much why didn’t he change his own name to it? Poor children. But then again, maybe they’re brought up in the community of like-minded people.
Wow I didn’t think we had people like that living here in New Jersey. I always thought we were a well educated liberal state.
Just to pipe up re #9:
Just because he has three names doesn’t mean it’s a ‘middle’ name. It could be that his first name has two parts to it. S’not as common in the US or other English speaking countries, as I understand, especially not without smushing them or hyphenating, but it happens.
It’s hella frustrating when everyone assume that since I’m “Mary Alice Smith” (for example) on paper, I’m only “Mary” in regular use, rather than “Mary Alice.” (I’d rather be called by a completely different nickname than only half my name.)
I wouldn’t be surprised if “Adolf Hitler” is the entire first name in this instance, simply because “Adolf” might not be shocking enough for the parents. Or referential enough? whatever reason they had for naming the kid that.
At least the kid can change it when he turns 18, earlier if his parents agree to it, if the NJ laws are the same as in Florida.
The kid would probably have have fewer problems if he was named Sue. Then he could get into a proper fight with dad. Just like Johnny Cash sang.
Why exactly is it that we stopped using baseball bats on stupid??? Just asking you know. Anyone who would name their child that is sick.
Those children would be better off with different parents. Because if I run into Adolph Hitler I’ll salute and sy Heil faggoassffuk. Even if it is a kid.
From the article:
It’s clear that his interest in Nazi Germany is more than purely historical, and I have trouble accepting that his “no one else has that name” excuse is reason enough. He’s clearly making a statement here: “We’re racist hicks!”
They’re living in the kind of neighborhood where their skull & swastika emblazoned car still has its windows. I don’t think the kid’s going to get that much shit at school.
Gee, I sure was convinced! How about you all?
Does anyone else feel this guy would be happier if his kid removed the “out with” from this sentence?
I guess history – especially the european kind – is not well to absolute un -known in the US.
Otherwise stupid and outright idiotic comments as to the suitability of the name ADOLF or Adolph would not be possible.
Just because one supreme criminal was called a good and decent name, borne among others by one Gustav Adolph, king of Sweden, Adolf Dassler, the founder of adidas, adolf sax, yes, the sax inventor as examples, (just google Adolph or Adolf) doesn’t make this name unacceptable. It does so however in conjunction with the family name Hitler, as this is either a clear political statement – or complete idiocy.
For the same reason – Hussein is a perfectly decent name. See your future president.
That’s really interesting, actually. My first name was very unusual at the time that my mom chose it – not so much in the last five or ten years, but nobody else seems to be able to spell it right, which is a whole ‘nother issue. I love it, though. Is there any way you could legally change your name without them finding out and just pretend that you still use the longer version? Perhaps more importantly, are they going to expect you to give your firstborn that name, knowing how much you hate it?
On a lighter note, I actually know a guy called Izaak Hayes. Apparently his parents didn’t think anyone would remember who Isaac Hayes was by the time he grew up…and then South Park came out.
#73
You either suck at trolling or suck at reading.
Sorry, screwed up my last post. Last line is me.
File under “Rising to the Bait”:
James @ #54 said:
Here’s a tip: Don’t call people “stupid” in a language that you obviously haven’t figured out yet, it makes you look hypocritical.
I’ve read about some village/region in India (I think), where there are people with middle names such as Adolf Hitler and Stalin. I think the particular case of the article was the Adolf Hitler one, who was a local politician.
This stupidity is next to unbelievable.
He’s surprised? He’s detached from reality. I am usually in favor of by law allowing parents naming their children any way they want, but I may change my mind now. Someone should have stepped in and prevented this, for the sake of the child.
As they did when a young mother wanted to name her daughter “Sex”. She was persuaded to choose another name. Another mother wanted “Abcdef”, but this time they could not change her mind. How is that supposed to be pronounced, anyway?
Michael Bolton, anyone?
kraut @ #73
I don’t know why American knowledge of history has anything to do with your misinterpretation of this thread. Nobody yet (by post #78) has even hinted that the name Adolf by itself is a problem. The parents named their child Adolf Hitler Campbell, and then complained to the media when somebody found the “Adolf Hitler” part offensive.
Parents who choose messed up names want their kids to make their statements and take their fights for them. Pathetic.
If ‘Adolf Hitler’ is such a universally reviled name then one has to wonder whether the original parents, Mr and Mrs Hitler, were also making a statement with such a controversial choice.
“Others have been likewise rejected, such as “Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit”. Although twins named “Benson” and “Hedges” was acceptable, as, apparently were “Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter”.
How much worse is “Broken Rubber” ?
I’m ok with odd names in general. Yeah, they can suck as a kid, but as an adult they are fun. My own full name is slightly unusual, and as a kid I hid it, now I use the full name happily and I like the reactions from people. Online I use an even stranger name and actually have considered legally changing my name to it.
As far as names of star’s kids, well, they live in a different atmosphere and it can kind of work for them. I don’t think Dweezil’s been harmed by his name any.
And I can totally see why “Scout” (from To Kill A Mockingbird) appealed to Demi Moore.
Any Sesame Street fan knows the answer to that one. “Ab-ca-def-ghi-jickle-men-op-qwer-stuve-wixyz! It’s the most remarkable word I’ve ever seen!”
Having the name Adolf, followed by Hitler is one thing. At least it is a real NAME, leaving the underlying White Supremest intention vague.
What I don’t think is getting proper attention here, however, is the girl’s middle name, “Aryan Nation.”
Aryan Nation!
Do I need to draw a fucking picture or invoke Jesus?
JESUS!
“My middle-name is Aryan Nation,” the little girl says. Don’t let this audacious humor go uncommented upon, please. Her parents must be hilariously jocose people.
Aryan-Fucking-Nation.
This news story is a joke, right? This is right out of The Onion.
In France, since 1993, the art.57 of the civil code states that :
Upon registration of the name, if the registration officer considers that the name can be contrary to the interest of the child, he is to alert immediately the competent family affairs judge. The judge can order the suppression of the name and request the parents give another name. If the parents do not accept the judgement to pick another name that isn’t contrary to the interests of the child, the judge will give the child a name of his deliberation which will be the one set in the register and for any future adminstrative purposes.
This is again this dogma of “freedom at all cost”.
We know that there are parents who are sufficiently moronic to pick a name that is contrary to the interests of their own child. Libertarians will ignore this and say that Govt/Justice should not intervene. Realists will say that Govt/Justice should intervene, when evidently required, to protect the interests of the child from their moronic parents.
In many parts of the world you can legally change your name once you are old enough.
What has always suprised me is how infrequently people with hated or peculiar names actually do this. If your parents named you (hoping I don’t offend anyone) “Orson Cart” wouldn’t you wish to change it? If your parents gave you the first names of the entire sports team, giving you a set of names so long that no government form could cope, wouldn’t you change your names?
People often seem strangely posessive about their names, I wonder why?
I’m sure the little boy would be fine with just Adolf on his cake. It’s his parents who are the spoiled-brats/sick-fucks.
One of my friends knew a girl named Swastika, but her parents were Indian, so the reference almost certainly had to do with its Hindu usage, not with the Nazis. Unfortunately for the girl, she had to bear that name growing up in the U.S.
What douchebags. The parents I mean.
Making a point about tolerance is one thing.
Ruining your childrens life to make said point is just evil.
The children can change their names when they’re old enough.
Oh, and if the parents weren’t such bastards, they would just buy a cake without the name spelled out and write it themselves afterwards t home. This just shows they weren’t thinking about their child when they persisted to make that request to the bakery.
Having this sort of name must be a real bore, man. I’d frick out, to be frank.
Seriously, children should be protected from such parents. The poet Philip Larkin’s best-known poem begins:
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad,
They do not mean to, but they do…”
It was undoubtedly true in his case, although the generalisation is unwarranted: Larkin’s father was a great admirer of Hitler.
“Realists will say that Govt/Justice should intervene, when evidently required, to protect the interests of the child from their moronic parents.”
I’m no libertarian, but damn if that doesn’t seem a little extreme. Govt. involvement is great when there’s a serious problem or issue to be dealt with.
Is “kids with fucked up names” REALLY such a pressing issue that it needs legislation? Legislation that might end up requiring a constitutional amendment to get around freedom of expression?
Are there hordes of people named “Fuckwit Jones” running around murdering for revenge?
We know one problem that there IS. Bush-appointed Liberty University idiots occupying judicial and legal positions. Do you really want them stopping people from naming their kid Darwin?
PZ, while officially named Paul, was and is called “PeeZee” by his family, apparently. Kinda unusual. He gave his kids names that are unusual at least for the U.S.
Alaric is a name that might get you teased in 5th grade, but if you carry it well might get you laid in tenth grade. It’s a fricking awesome name.
Is “kids with fucked up names” REALLY such a pressing issue that it needs legislation?
Over to the Man in Black…
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn’t leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don’t blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue.
Well, he musta thought that was quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a lot of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I’d get red
And some guy’d laugh and I’d bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue…
[i]Is “kids with fucked up names” REALLY such a pressing issue that it needs legislation?[/i]
Apparently it works just fine in France and Germany.
Would Kelly Pavlik have got where he did if he’d been named Steve? I reckon having a name like Kelly toughened him up, eh.
“Apparently it works just fine in France and Germany.”
It works just fine unless you’re the person having the name rejected when it seems fine to you…
Anyway, like I said, it probably would be found unconstitutional here, if someone really wanted to push it that far. Could open a whole can of worms and undermine other things that are far more important.
There are a lot of ways parents can fuck you up far worse than giving you a stupid name that aren’t illegal.
For example in this case – pass your law and make it illegal to name him Adolph Hitler… but they’ll still legally be able to raise the kid to be a racist.
Raise the kid to believe there’s a magic man in the sky who is very concerned about where he puts his penis. Raise your kid to believe that alcoholism is a moral failing, not an illness. Raise him to think women are inferior breeders, to feel that it’s “every man for himself” and the poor and disabled can go fuck themselves, raise him to be an amoral prick driving a hummer with a “he who dies with the most toys wins” license plate, fine – not abuse, no marks left on him, your prerogative.
Raise him to be an honest, caring, decent and humble human being with the name “Boogerflick,” and the law’s coming down on you.
Child abuse, plain and simple. You shouldn’t be allowed to name your kid Adolf Hitler.
On the other hand, my name comes from a Biblical figure who tricked all the men in a town to circumcise themselves in order to make it easier for him to kill them all and take their wives captive. (Genesis 34)
Philip Larkin – This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
So… the child’s named “Adolf Hitler”. And his sister is called “Aryan Nation”. And the parents previously wanted a swastika as a cake decoration already.
All that is suspicious, but not really conclusive. But this bit stands out: “About 12 people attended the birthday party on Sunday, including several children who were of mixed race, according to Heath Campbell. “If we’re so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?” he asked.”
For me, that’s just too reminiscent of the classic “I don’t have anything against blacks, many of my friends are black, but…” that you know will inevitably be followed by a racist statement.
Oh,a Larkin poem,I am impressed…
The guy is fantastic !
I have posted this here before strangest brew,but I let it go this time lol
Now that sounds like a great party….
I had a good friend back in the late 50s during the start of the new Cuban regime. A new addition to the family was named Fidel Ernesto Che Guevera Brown. He was born the year the U.S.S.R. launched the first satellite and little Fidels nickname was Sput. Short of Sputnik. I wonder if Sput ever changed his name?
There may just be a legitimate issue in this news item.
There is a certain irrationality in slandering or denigrating a name based on one person with that name committing even the most horrific attrocities in human history. It implies that there is some evil aura about that name; one would basically be acting superstitious towards a name, just like how some people treat the number 13 as unlucky.
However, what these parents have done goes beyond a single name. They included Adolf Hitler in one child’s name, Aryan Nation in another, tried to display Nazi symbols, namely the swastika, and wore the boots of a WWII Nazi German soldier. Of course there is a perfectly good reason for anyone to suspect there may be some Nazi influence in this family’s household. The parents shouldn’t be surprised at the type of attitude other people are showing them.
A friend’s friend worked with a woman by the name of Le-a. How do you think it’s pronounced?
Craig,
How would a legislation against raising children to be a racist look like ? Please try to write it, including ways to control and sanction, you’ll see where that goes.
It’s not because one cannot practically legislate some things that are important that one shouldn’t legislate other things that may be less important but practical.
Ledasha.
I kid you not. Awesome.
#95:
It might be, if someone named their kid Robert’); DROP TABLE Students;–
(Yes, I’m an xkcd fan).
A good friend of mine is cursed with a first name that would be more appropriate for a hooker. Not obscene but of the Kitty, Candy, Honey variety. She hates it, but the problems associated with changing it and all her business connections are simply too much.
These fine examples of white supremacy will raise their kids to believe as they do. Only hope is some good ol’ adolescent rebellion.
Whale oil beef hooked. Now there’s a name to put on a cake.
#54:
If you insist on calling 300 million people you’ve never met before “stupid” based solely on where they live, I suggest proofreading your comment a couple of times before posting it next time. It would be a shame if any spelling, punctuation or grammatical errors ended up making you yourself look like an uneducated fool and undercutting your alleged point, wouldn’t it?
Now I’m picturing the birthday party of little Name in Icing Magritte.
With parents like that, his *name* is the least of the kid’s troubles. Sad to say that they live just a township or two over from me here out in the hinterlands of “Pennsyltucky” New Jersey.
SC, OM # 106:
SC, OM # 108:
A friend of a friend’s tale, in other words: an urban legend.
Shit! I’ve got to send that to him. Should always investigate these things. How disappointing – I thought it was clever, in a Proposition H8 kind of way.
#54 = Epic fail.
About the question of whether the parents knew what they were doing or are attention whores: the story in their local paper begins:
“In a living room decorated with war books, German combat knives and swastikas, a 2-year-old boy, blond and blue-eyed, played with a plastic dinner set.”
German combat knives? swastikas? The must have a different theme than in their home than I do. More:
Immediately following:
“The boy, asked his name, put down a tiny plate and ran behind his father’s leg. He flashed a shy smile but wouldn’t answer. Heath Campbell, 35, the boy’s father, encouraged him.
“Say Adolf,” said Campbell, a Holocaust denier who has three children named for Nazism.”
Again, the boy wouldn’t answer. It wasn’t the first time the name caused hesitation.”
Holocaust denier goes a long way to explaining the names.
“In the foyer, Heath Campbell, who said he has German ancestry and a relative who fought for the SS, took off boots he said were worn by a Nazi solider named Daniel.
He laid them next to a skull with a swastika on its forehead, the first of dozens of swastikas seen by the Campbells’ rare guests.
There are swastikas on walls, on jackets, on the freezer and on a pillow. The family car had swastikas, Heath Campbell said, until New Jersey’s Department of Children and Families told him they could endanger the children.
The swastikas, Heath Campbell said, are symbols of peace and balance. He considers them art.”
This is a seriously sad situation for those children. What do the specialists say?
“A local clinical psychologist made this comment about possible problems stemming from the name:
‘The problems the children might encounter in school, he said, “would be icing on the cake.’ ”
Okay, not a good point: this guy better keep his day job.
A girl I knew in high school who worked at a movie theatre in town her.. parents named her
Aquanetta.
yes, like the hair spray
this family makes the “boy” in johnny cash’s “boy named sue” sound like a crybaby.
parents who use the lives of their children to make silly political statements don’t deserve to be parents.
the father sounds like the kind of pain-in-the-ass that like to keep the people around him uncomfortable by saying inappropriate things. it’s a control technique to keep others on the defensive.
but heath campbell is also a coward. if making his point is so friggin important, why hasn’t he and his wife changed their own names to adolf and adolpha hitler? is it because they’d like to stay employable and stay out of fights? is it because daily life might be less of a hassle?
those would be very good reasons. but obviously not good enough for their kids.
@#118:
The kids’ problems in school would be “icing on the cake.”
Ha!
It sounds like an urban legend, but here’s one that my wife (who works for gov’t social programs) had to deal with. It’s not such a bad name, until you consider that all the government programs (food stamps, schools) around here cut out things like dashes, apostrophes, etc. — they just jam the letters together.
She got a call from a woman reporting a birth for her daughter, who was still in the hospital recovering. She said, “I tried six times to talk her out of this name.”
After my wife heard it, she had to confirm it twice, and comisserated with the woman whose granddaughter had to go through life with the name Shi’thead.
That’s pronounced “Shuh-theed” by the way. Personally, I feel sorry for teachers that are going to call roll off a printed list at the beginning of every year. A list with no apostrophes…
adolpha hitler?
Or Eva Braun if one is truly interested in proper historical re-enactments.
If you think that kid has problems, imagine having a name like Quiet Desperation, although Pink Floyd and Henry Thoreau fans like it.
What? You thought it was just an internet handle?
That’s nothing. Another kid was named Karl Marx
Campbell clan? gives new meaning to the phrase ‘soup to nuts.’
What’s ironic to me is that the real Hitler they admire would have likely gassed them first, before and Jews, Slavs, or Gypsies, as they describe themselves as ‘disabled.
Also, you would think people like that’d have a little oven of their own up and running every day, thus solving their bakery issues.
i thought of that, but “eva braun” just wouldn’t inspire the same difficulties as “adolpha hitler”, if any at all. i haven’t looked, but i’m sure there are plenty of eva brauns walking around leading normal lives not made remarkable by just their names.
@SC, OM:
This is an anecdotal story, but true. However, it was over 20 years ago, so I don’t remember the spelling.
I used to work night shift in a newborn nursery, in a hospital in the south. One of our joys was figuring out what on earth the parents were thinking when they filled out the birth certificate form. (This was back in the days of Sade, of which we saw many variations on the singer’s name).
One baby girl’s name had us stumped. None of the nurses, (black, white, asian)could figure out how to pronounce the name. When the nurse caring for the baby took her out to her mother for a feeding, she asked about the unusual name and spelling.
The baby’s name was going to be pronounced An-ee-sha. I don’t remember how it was spelled, but won’t forget how she created the name. She cut up a bunch of letters, threw them up into the air, and made up the name based on how they fell.
Our only comment, among ourselves, was that we felt sorry for the child. She would have to go through life telling people how to pronounce and spell her name.
Campbell later said'” Well, it’s spelt Adolf Hitler, but it’s pronounced Throat Warbler Mangrove…”
as i said in comment #120, the whole point of the exercise is to be a public pain-in-the-ass. of course they could make their own cakes, but who would that offend?
I’ve checked up on changing my own name recently, and there are guidlines that state that a name may not be CHANGED to either an obscenity, or the proper name of a famous person (this may have the stipulation of: if doing so would be a possible or probable attempt at hijacking that person’s fame).
I wonder, does this hold true for one’s original name? I.E. could a case be made that the name of Adolf Hitler is actually out-of-bounds for use?
Speaking of oddly spelled names, I’ve a friend who is a teacher and has a student in her school named Le-a. Any guesses on how that’s pronounced?
Ledasha
I kid you not…
Ranson #122:
Funny, I read that exact same story in Freakonomics. Suspicious.
And we’ve got another one hocking the Le-a story. Geez.
In case anybody minds, there’s this “discussion” about “alternative medicine” coming up in about 6.5h on ARD, the main German state television. One real scientist (Beda Stadler) against at least two alternative nuts plus a (rather sensible) Protestant TV preacher (who once had a talk show) and a MD who wrote Christian apologetics.
Why I’m writing this? There’s this poll to the right on the show’s site:
http://www.wdr.de/tv/hartaberfair/sendungen/2008/20081217.php5?akt=1
“Your opinion: Do you believe in the effectiveness of alternative medicine [lit. “cure methods”]?
* Yes
* No
[Vote]
[Go to results w/o voting]”
Currently 62% “yes”, “38%” “no”.
makes a great case for eugenics.
OT: Apparently, the teacher who told the kids about Santa was fired.
It’s a sad day for rationality when telling the truth to people you’re supposed to teach becomes a cause for dismissal.
via snopes: ledasha
Perhaps I’m the bad guy when I give a Bugs Bunny “YEEEEESSHHH!” at the father’s face.
Barring that, picking names nobody wants simply because it’s the most vile name since 1945 is, obviously, a really dumb way of going about naming a child. It’s damn near abusive too, considering the ire that would follow the kid around for the next 15 years at least, assuming his parents don’t come to their senses before the kid is legally allowed to change his name by himself. What’s the name of their next kid? Nero Pol Pot Caligula? What about Vlad Stalin Khan?
Hay-Soos.
It’s starting to feel like Legohogda.
Bah, that’s a very frequent french name. I’ve got two cousins named Christian.
Three years in a row? You’d think by this time they’d have gone out and gotten themselves an icing annointment utensil…
Nah, they didn’t want the cake decorated, they wanted their names in the paper…
Dr. Myers,
If I remember correctly you were one of the polling officials in Morris. Would you throw some light on the apparent bid by Franken and his fellow democrats to hijack the elections for the senate seat?
I’m reading reports that suggest Democrats want to keep election night counts for some precincts (Dinkytown) which polled more votes for Franken and use the ‘accurate’ recounts elsewhere. This pretty much means, Franken is questioning the integrity of the polling officials who reported more republican votes from their precincts. Maybe you should respond.
Re 130:
beat me to it! Wondering how long it would be before that reference popped up.
Like the SNL skit, “Here’s your pizza Mr. Asswipe.” “that’s pronounced ‘ah sweep aye’
my name is “Christian” too. And my mother’s an atheist.
It’s so common around here I never thought of it as a Christian name.
Would have had a problem with something like “Jesus-Christ” or “God” though.
My friends’ cat is named Jesús (Chewy). We’re always amused when they get cards from the vet’s office saying things like “It’s time for us to see Jesus.”
@Balaji:
piss and moan on your own time.
Re:144
Ha! Victory is MINE!
I think the bakery should not have refused since it is possible that such a name is not tied up to one person alone (for all we know) and can be easily perceived as discrimination.
Gifts on little Adolf’s birthday/Christmas list:
Mein Kampf pop-up picture book
Josef Mengele Operation Game (“Don’t touch the sides!” Really. Don’t. Touch. The sides.)
Prison Camp Corpse Jenga
Seige of Stalingrad Snowcone Maker
Auschwitz Easy-Bake Oven
@ #87
I wish it was, but it’s from the Associated Press…
Ah, Holocaust jokes are soooo funny.
His parents are more than dingleberries, I think you’ll agree if you read the names of his other children (including Aryan Nation). They have the right to believe what they want, but the manager at that store also has the right not to sell products with messages he deems inappropriate. It may not be “nice,” but if the free-market has a problem with his selling practices he’ll go out of business. That’s not going to be the case here.
Let them write their son’s name themselves. This is a silly ploy to gain attention by parents who are clearly unstable. It’s the kind of thing they knew would happen during their son’s life when they chose that name for him.
They can believe, say, write whatever they want but they don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to claiming they were unfairly treated by a private enterprise that has the right to sell, or not sell, what it wants.
Oh… I see. The parents are Aryan Nation.
Fuck ’em.
I certainly hate racism, but if the government forced these people to change their child’s name, it wouldn’t make them any less racist, and it might make them more racist. The government can change their behavior, but no amount laws can change the attitudes of beliefs of these people, unless those laws suppress any racist words, books, or even thoughts.
@misc, #135:
Alas, there are not only 2 nuts, but rather all except Beda.
I also do not regard Fliege as sensible, really. Rather as a bit slimy.
But I voted “no” for a reason… currently a strong lobby of proponents of homeopathy are badgering the EU to excempt their quak-crap from the usual registering laws for medicins.
It’s basically the usual tired old routine: Babbling about the pharma lobby,(conveniently overlooking the much louder Homeopathic/Quak Lobby), complaining that their medicins are not taken as seriously as real medicin and in the same sentence complaining that they have to keep to the same laws as others.
As was mentioned (by Renato, I believe), at least when the kid is 18, he can legally change his name:
to Adolf Hitler Ocho-Cinco
*He’s a walking Godwin*
He’ll be like, “Why can’t I ever finish a conversation!?!?”
And of course, “I hate my parents!”
Does anyone know if Italian families named Mussolini changed it or still use it?
@ 145: One of my friends is Jewish and has a stereotypically Jewish last name. Her first name is Christian.
Re “Shithead”: I have heard this story so many times from so many people, there’s no way it’s actually true. I don’t buy it. Same with kids named lemonjello and orangejello, excema, and so on.
@ Karley #134
I don’t know about the Freakanomics story — neither myself or my wife has read it. I do know that she bitches about crazy names at work constantly, but she came home laughing and talking about it for hours when this one came up. Odd coincidence if it is one, but I’ll vouch for this instance of the name.
Oh… I see. The parents are Aryan Nation. Fuck ’em.
Eeew! No even with someone else’s di-[POST TERMINATED BY FCC PROTECTRON MONITOR]
That’s nothing. Another kid was named Karl Marx
He should go to New York. They’d make him emperor. ;-)
Elwood Blues: “Illinois Nazis.”
Jake: “I hate Illinois Nazis.”
It’s too bad we never hear a family naming their kid Vlad Dracula. There was a star athlete kid in high school around here years back named Nomo, not for any Japanese reason, but the scuttlebutt was his mom said she named him that because she wanted No Mo’ kids. Whether it’s true or not, it was the rumor around town and he was the youngest.
The government can change their behavior, but no amount laws can change the attitudes of beliefs of these people, unless those laws suppress any racist words, books, or even thoughts. – catgirl
In general, this just isn’t so: changes in behaviour can bring about changes in belief, on both an individual and a social level. For an example of the latter, look at the changes in racial attitudes in the US (and the UK) – which have followed the passage of laws forbidding racial discrimination. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) makes use of the principle at individual level.
You know what the craziest part of this story is?? WAL-MART ACTUALLY AGREE TO MAKE THE HITLER BIRTHDAY CAKE.
That’s right, buried in the fifth paragraph is a quick mention that “The Campbells ultimately got their cake decorated at a Wal-Mart in Pennsylvania, Deborah Campbell said.”
Wal-Mart has no morals whatsoever. They have a history of selling Nazi-related products.
What utterly wicked parents. When the kid grows up he should sue the ass off them.
Wal-Mart has no morals whatsoever. They have a history of selling Nazi-related products.
That’s a bit of a stretch.
It’s good that Walmart made the cake, in spite of the idiot parents the poor kid is stuck with. It’s not the kid’s faulth he was born to two fucktards.
SC, OM@159,
Well, there’s his grand-daughter, the fascist politician Alexandra Mussolini. Unfortunately, Mussolini and fascism in general are by no means universally unpopular in Italy.
Gratuitous movie reference:
— Keanu Reeves’ character from Parenthood
A few I’ve encountered:
I very bright and personable student whose parents named her “September” had enough one day and started using her middle name instead. Everyone wigged out over her name. She could not so much as pick up a take out pizza without the whole staff of the restaurant lining up to see her. She told me her mother was very unhappy about dropping the first name and going with the middle.
I also knew a Russian man in college who had to change the pronunciation of his name to “Eye-Gore” because everyone started to do imitations of a hunchbacked mad scientist’s assistant every time they heard him say “Ee-gore” – the correct Russian pronunciation of “Igor.” Just goes to show that for some names it’s the immature behavior of one’s peers that poses the problem, not the parents. (What should we do, require all immigrants from Russia to view monster movies before we let them in the country?).
And my favorite: David Bowie, I’ll say in his (very limited) defense, was so blasted out of his mind on a variety of drugs in the 70s (he still does not remember 1974 at all, none of it) that he named his son “Zowie.” Later, when he came to his senses let let his son pick a new name. The kid picked “John.”
And don’t forget Frank Zappa, who named his children “Dweezel” and “Moon Unit.” The two of them cashed in on their limited celebrity and funny names in the 80s and then disappeared.
There’s nothing wrong with Adolf, it’s the middle name that’s the kicker. I also feel sorry for his sister.
I did have to stop at the race comments. WHile they may not have a problem (perhaps) with blacks (although his comments made me pause), I wonder what would happen if his son dated a Jewish girl (whose parents would probably die of apoplexy)?
I just love that the parents prove they are not only racist pieces of sh*^, but also morons. Aside from Adolph and Aryan, their third kid’s middle name is Hinler, named after Heinrich HIMMLER… and they spelled it wrong.
Please, PLEASE, someone offer this family a lot of money to perform a vasectomy. Then don’t pay it.
Yes, the immature behavior of one’s peers.
At school, they never called me Cosmic, it was always Teapot.
Joking aside, these people are dumb. I hope the kids rebel big time when they are older.
craig, let me get this straight — just because there are worse things than giving your child a name that will cause it unending emotional stress, the legislation in countries (like mine) that prevents it is a bad idea?
Not in my opinion. I’m happy that with all the other crap children have to deal with, at least they won’t be screwed over by their name. For every example of someone getting used to their weird name, there are hundreds whose development is going to be screwed, possibly for life, and who can’t shrug things off this easily. Simple litmus test: “Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the president of [the UN/the United States of America/Ginormo-Co], [child name here]”. Can’t imagine it happening with certain names? That’s because much of the rejection is because of the name.
I like the fact that of all the factors that can hold you back in life, at least this one isn’t a problem thanks to (imho) sensible laws. And that doesn’t even take into account the direct mockery, ridicule, etc. that you’re guaranteed.
these parents seem to be so sheltered that they don’t even realize why others might not like name Adolf Hitler.
You’re too charitable. These idiots aren’t sheltered, they’re being deliberately provocative, so they can tell their America-hating fascist friends how ‘intolerant’ the evil lib’rals really are.
Dweezil Zappa did not disappear in the 80s!
That said, I don’t like the sound of these “boncentration bamps.”
@woodstein312: Don’t bring Easton or the German-Americans of Pennsylvania into it. The Campbells live in Milford, NJ, one of those cutesy little river towns. Easton isn’t what it might have been 30 years ago. Our neighborhood has Black, Arab, and Latino families living alongside the old timer German and Italian ones, as well as those refugees from NYC.
What our local papers noted is that this is the third year in a row the Campbells have gone to that same Shop-Rite in Greenwich, NJ (Lopatcong) and been refused (and the third year in a row that the Wal-Mart in Nazareth has done the cake for them). The fact that they’re in the media with it now just kind of illustrates what they’re after – the attention they’re getting right now.
#171:
Eye-gore was also the name of Marty Feldman’s laboratory assistant character in Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (or, as Wilder insisted, “Fronkensteeeeen”).
And Dweezil hasn’t exactly disappeared, considering he’s doing a concert here in town next week – called Zappa plays Zappa.
Of course! What is wrong with my brain today?
This is true, unfortunately.
(By the way, I just sent you an email. Please let me know if you don’t receive it.)
No, it doesn’t. Nor does any corporation, ultimately. The Corporation is available on YouTube, and I recommend it.
In the USA, yes, yes, and no, respectively. In Austria, no, no, and yes (though with limitations). In Germany and France, more whacked-out names are allowed than in Austria…
Poor little Kloe can never set foot into a German-speaking country without provoking uncontrolled chortles all around. Klo is short for Klosett (which nobody uses anymore; remember the C in WC) and means toilet. Why do you think nobody is named Klothilde anymore?
Schrott being “junk” or more literally “scrap metal” in German.
Exactly.
You mean he’s actually called Adolf&20Hitler with a spurious capital letter in the middle???
I’ll simply go ahead and say you have two given names (or “a first and a middle name” in that silly US usage) — it just so happens that, unlike most people in that situation, you actually use both of them instead of just the first (or just the second, think L. Ron Hubbard).
In Austria, nobody has been named Adolf since 1945, even though (for the reasons you mention) I don’t think it’s actually forbidden. I bet it’s the same in Germany.
In Austria, having more than three given names is not allowed, though many countries don’t have such restrictions.
Actually, I’ve never understood the American fashion of giving last names as given names…
Show us.
I am, unfortunately, capable of laughing and cringing at the same time. It’s not very comfortable at all.
Current results:
Ignorance is strength.
The total number of votes is not mentioned anywhere.
*137
“It’s a sad day for rationality when telling the truth to people you’re supposed to teach becomes a cause for dismissal.”
Well agreed to a point…it does seem a tad harsh…
Methinks tis more the way the ‘truth’ was delivered rather then the actuality of telling the truth…
Kids under seven are rather young to have some delusions smashed…but in reality those delusions fade away before the age of 12 anyways…after it is not really an issue..whereas Jeebus … the legion of apostles… angels and god the Brat’s daddy and the odd spook get a free pass…that is not a fair situation…
Could this firing be more to do with cementing the crumbling foundations of Christianity rather then a reaction to the actual revelation of Santa’s status…
Kindda as a warning to any other so enlightened teachers that revealing the truthful status of other myths is not a good career move?
Raise the kid to believe there’s a magic man in the sky who is very concerned about where he puts his penis. Raise your kid to believe that alcoholism is a moral failing, not an illness. Raise him to think women are inferior breeders, to feel that it’s “every man for himself” and the poor and disabled can go fuck themselves, raise him to be an amoral prick driving a hummer with a “he who dies with the most toys wins” license plate, fine – not abuse, no marks left on him, your prerogative.
Raise him to be an honest, caring, decent and humble human being with the name “Boogerflick,” and the law’s coming down on you.Strawman.
Just because the other things you cite are arguably worse forms of abuse that are currently legally tolerated, doesn’t excuse the wickedness of mis-naming a child.
I knew a kid called Vivien who got beaten up for being called Vivien. Now, an apologist for parental idiocy might argue that you shouldn’t blame parents for the mindless bigotry of immature children, but OF COURSE the parents are to blame. They must have known what kids are like – they used to be kids themselves – and yet despite this, they selfishly decided to saddled their son with an entirely unnecessary handicap which caused him physical and emotional suffering.
‘My lad was in tears and so was everyone else in the class – especially as it was so close to Christmas.
I thought it was wrong. He was distraught about it. He’s only seven-years-old and it’s part of the magic of Christmas to him.
‘We told him that she did not believe in Father Christmas because of her religion and he’s fine now.
The father described the incident as ‘shocking’ and believed it was done with malicious intent.
Of course if however the teacher revealed Santa’s secret through a religious conviction then she deserves all the bint gets…and that would definitely be a counter productive move for her delusion…
I could be persuaded that was the situation quite easily…because Christian…if that be her tipple…do not do irony!
parents are obviously nazi or neo-nazi or something. what they said proclaiming they’re not *racist* are totally subtly racist comments. people like this are probably worse that outright skinheads
Huh. I quite like it. But then, I went to prep school, so I guess I’ve become inured.
Did anyone mention yet about a girl named “Placenta?” She got the name because her mother hear the doctor remark about getting the placenta out and she thought it was a pretty name.
About the substitute teacher saying there is no santa. I was told by a substitute that because I was the only one in the class not baptized, I was going to hell.
I went to school with a very nice African girl named Lasagna. Her immigrant parents thought it would be cool to give her an American name…
One thing I haven’t seen mentioned yet: given that the poor boy is 3 years old, how likely is it he can read the decoration on the cake…? Methinks it’s all just of the parents by the parents for the parents.
In the Middle Ages there was actually a tradition in Scandinavia of naming a son Knut (literally “knot”) if the family didn’t want any further children. No idea if it worked. ;-)
Not Alessandra?
ROTFLMAO!!!
David Marjanović, OM,
Yes, Alessandra. I had a feeling Alexandra wasn’t quite right as I wrote it, but was too lazy to check.
Gosh, ya think? ;)
BTW, I was reading by age 3. My friend’s daughter is 2 1/2 and is reading at the level of most 4-year-olds.
/proud ‘aunt’
(My dog is also super smart. ;P)
Just adding my voice to the chorus of refutation ringing in craig’s ears…
“Is “kids with fucked up names” REALLY such a pressing issue that it needs legislation?”
Yes. This case right here. That kid’s childhood is quite possibly ruined due that cute little moniker.
No it won’t fix racism, but it’ll improve people’s lives.
I think you should have to pass an exam to have kids. You have to do it to drive, and I reckon that’s less responsibility than reproduction.
“SO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS” EXAM FOR REPRODUCTION
1)What do you expect to happen in the following scenario, and what should be done to avoid it?
“Suzie has a pile of trash she wants to get rid of, so she’s going to take it into the back lot and light it on fire. She has five cans of Aquanet, which are mostly empty. Suzie thinks that burning them would be a great way to dispose of them.”
2)Assuming that all the below entities are different people, which ones are appropriate namesakes for your children? (Circle all which apply)
Adolph Hitler, Your Dad, Jeffrey Dahmer, Lizzie Borden, Ghengis Khan, Captain Kirk, Abraham Lincoln, Susan B Anthony, Moonunit Zappa, your grandma, Mister Darcy.
3)You have an “ass”. If you reach back with both of your hands, can you find it?
4)Which of the following are not good reasons to have children? (Circle all that apply)
a)To live out the childhood dreams that I never accomplished.
b) Because I love kids and want to carry on the next generation.
c) To live out my adult dreams that I will never accomplish.
d) To take care of me when I’m old.
e) To work on the farm.
f) Because there are bodiless souls floating around in the air and it is our duty to create a home for as many as possible.
g) Everyone I know has them and can’t talk about anything fun anymore.
5) Which of the following are not toys?
aspirin, draino, coins, rubberduckies, electrical sockets, lead paint, dollhouses, matchbox cars, automatic weapons.
6) Which of the following are good places to take your fussy infant?
a) International flights.
b) Diaper changing station.
c) R-Rated Movies
d) To get a bottle.
e) Fancy Restaurant.
f) The symphony
The first amendment protects even the most reviled speech. We don’t have to like it, but we should always respect it, for one day our speech may be deemed unacceptable.
Besides, the child will probably learn quickly enough to go by a nickname.
Child: My name is Adolf Campbell, but everyone calls me Joe.
Teacher: Why’s that, dear? (Rustles the roster a bit…) Oh… Welcome to the class, Joe Campbell!
Problem solved. We may have legal names, but we certainly don’t have to answer to them. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and I doubt any teacher would deny a child’s chosen nickname with a legal name like that.
In catholic countries until a few decades ago, there was the custom to name the children after the saints celebrated on that day…
Unfortunatelly some saints have very ugly names… even for a catholic.. Like Primitivo, Gudonfilia, Pancracia, Filoginio, Anacleto, Gumersino, Celedonio etc. (Mi father is Nemesio)
but sometimes parents overdo it…
I have a friend named “Anisrev”…
AS it happened … his parents looked at the calendar (one 20 of november) and took the name. “Anisrev”.. which is not the name of a saint but the contraction of “Aniversario de la revolucion mexicana”… (aniversary of the mexican revolution)
At least is original and not bad sounding… it could had been worts..
#65,
I encourage you to legally change your name if you are unhappy with it. I did, years ago, first middle and last. My family was not pleased about this, but they got over it and all is well. Yours will too, or if they don’t–is that really your fault? Back then it cost me $38 and a maybe an hour of filling in a few forms.
Man, that IS a rough name for a kid to have. And my parents thought I was being cruel when I named my son PZ Myers.
Alas, everyone has forgotten Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen of the Zappa family?
All legal names. All better than “Adolf Hitler” though.
(Frank Zappa Rocks!)
It’s not fair! This idiot can find a woman who will let him name his kid Adolf Hitler and I can’t find one who’ll let me get away with Pope Jesus Christ I (we’ll call him “Pojax-One”)??!?!?!
Here’s an anecdote direct from one of my closest friends (no FOAF BS): one class of kids he taught featured twins, a boy and a girl….. named Hennessy and Alizé.
Drink up?
It’s easier in Japan, here they just number the boys;
Ichiro, Jiro, Saburo, Shiro, Goro,
literally “number 1 boy”, “number 2 boy”, “number 3 boy” and so on…
RE: #138
Oh no…no, no, NOoooooo! Don’t tell me that I got so easily taken in by one of those!
A REAL person that I know beyond any doubt to be a teacher REALLY told me that she ACTUALLY with her own eyes saw a REAL school document with the student’s name written out. Swear to non-existent-gob.
Now I have to go back to her (the teacher) and find out why she fibbed to me!
In the meantime, I’ll be wearing sackcloth and ashes to atone for my lack of skepticism…
Personally, I’d like to name my son Raymond Luxury Yacht which, of course, is pronounced Throat-warbler Mangrove. Just to avoid confusion at home, he’d just be Bruce.
When I went to change my surname after getting married, I discovered it wasn’t legal to change my last name to anything other than my mother’s last name…. in Quebec.
This is crazy, but on the upside, the names commission does regularly refuse parents who try to name their kids stupid things, including Ivory, C’est-Une-Ange (It’s an angel), days of the week, and brand named products like Tide and Nike. I’m pretty sure even famously racist Quebec would balk at Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation.
On the downside, I got stuck with a last name which when combined with the fact that I’m a family doc, often gets mispronounced as “Dr. Evil.”
Can’t win ’em all.
Well, most 4-year-olds don’t read. At least where I come from. I taught it to myself shortly before I became 5, and that’s considered highly usual… I suppose learning to read in English is so difficult that it takes you several years, so you better start early? :o)
(Japanese children, of course, are traditionally taught hiragana by their mothers at the age of 3. But that’s a syllabary, it’s easier to understand how it works.)
At the risk of repeating myself…
ROTFLMAO!!!
Naming children after the calendar got out of fashion in Austria maybe 100 years ago, but in Côte d’Ivoire it is in fashion right now. And what happens when the calendar says Fête Nationale? Then the kid gets named Fêtnat. I don’t know if that’s how they spell it, but I have the story firsthand from an Ivoirienne who knows such people personally. (She herself is named Jessica, though.)
Thou kiddest, surely?
There is actually an American who changed his name to “Jesus Christ” (first name “Jesus”, last name “Christ”). No idea if he took “Haploid” as the middle name, though. (Probably not “Hussein”; that wasn’t fashionable yet.)
I worked with a guy called Mark Hunt, which needs to be pronounced carefully for people who don’t know him. Also had customers P.Hallis and I.P Freshwater. All of those I have dealt with, and seen written down, no urban legend here.
If you want odd names watch the credits of US TV programmes- they can’t all be traditional names for the immigrants forefathers.
I think most 4-year-olds can read their own names and some other words. The child I mentioned recognizes most letters and is starting to spell out words. I was playing with a word-card game with her last month and was very impressed. I looked at the box afterward, and it said it was for children age 5 and up. She’s, as we say here in Boston, wicked smaht.
It was a follow-up to my response to your “given that the poor boy is 3 years old, how likely is it he can read the decoration on the cake…?” I think it’s likely if it’s his name, but that’s not really relevant, as it’s doubtful that he would be upset not to have it there or remember the next day whether it had been there or not. I’m sure PZ knows this, and wrote the post the way he did so that he could build up to the kid’s name in a funny, dramatic way. Of course this is all about the parents.
Anyway, what can I say? I remember the day I figured it out. I even remember where I was in the house. For what it’s worth, I still can’t read music.
You weren’t in any kind of school before that age? Your parents weren’t teaching you? Huh. Is that usual in Austria? By the time I was 5 I had been to two nursery schools (one in the town library) and had a year of kindergarten.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named John.
This has to be a Howard Stern bit!
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the owner of a well-known photographic store in San Francisco, who has the unfortunate name of Adolph Gasser!
http://www.gassers.com/
On the downside, I got stuck with a last name which when combined with the fact that I’m a family doc, often gets mispronounced as “Dr. Evil.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
On the general subject of local and cultural acceptability of names that would be rather less acceptable elsewhere, there’s one name, uncommon in Turkey and common in Hungary (and in Romania, among ethnic Magyars), but which probably doesn’t conjure up terribly attractive associations for other peoples: “Attila”.
@#195-Ward S. Denker
“The first amendment protects even the most reviled speech. We don’t have to like it, but we should always respect it, for one day our speech may be deemed unacceptable.”
Actually, there are some established exceptions; racism just isn’t one of them. If naming a kid Adolph Hitler qualified legally as hate speech (speech intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a person) then it could be restricted. It would be a stretch, though.
I met some people (not sure of the ethnicity) who had a child named ‘Igor’, which I didn’t realise (at the time) wasn’t that uncommon a name in certain cultures – all I could think of was that he was going to grow up to be an assistant to a mad scientist.
The name ‘Adolf’ is to me is a bit like ‘Elvis’ – were there lots of people with these names prior to them becoming (for better or worse) iconic?
Another gratuitous movie reference:
Meet the Parents makes its whole reason for existing the sort of social weirdness that results from having a name which somehow makes it owner’s life hard in the U.S. (Focker, which is a perfectly nice Dutch name, is in fact pronounced with a round “oh” sound as in “Foe” or “Row”). I like how the plot turns on the guy’s attempt to minimize the damage by informally adopting the first name “Greg” in place of his legal 1st name: “Gaylord.”
Ah, but truth proves stranger than fiction because fiction has to be believable.
I actually found this hilarious. I almost died of laughter. It was probably the way PZ skillfully presented the story. Am I the only one?
I hear Adolf really was fairly popular before Hitler rose to power and it gained its current connotation… also, there were a few hundred people with the last name Hitler who changed their names for the same reason.
Also, all this makes me feel better about my unorthodox middle name(not “Aryan Nation” or “Paxson Van” level bad, but faintly hippie-ish), which did get me a lot of mockery if not actually beating.
Hitlers 4 nephews fought against him in the US navy- a fact the USN used. All of them decided not to have children, so as not to have the name perpetuated, and to save the kids from grief.
actually, that German name-law can be a massive pain in the ass (or at least was one 20 years ago), when you happen to have a non-germanic names
First my mom had to fight tooth and nail to let my brother and me keep my dads last name, cuz in Germany bastard children (that’s us) got the mothers last name
Then she had to explain to the damn bureaucrats why my last name ended with an -a, while my brother’s ended with an -i
Then I (a 6 year old at that time) had to explain to every moronic teacher than my first name starts with a K and ends with an a, not C and e. Some asswipe actually said “well that was your name then. now you’re in Germany, so you have a German name”
it’s not fun being a 1st Grader arguing with adults :-p
Who the heck ever puts more than a first name on a cake anyway?
#65 A
Are u planning on passing your name down to your first born and torturing them with it? No? Then grow a set of balls and change your name.
Your name dies with you in any case and there’s nothing your family can do about it. So what if it dies a few years earlier.
or stop whining about it.
#218:
According to Wikipedia, that’s one half-nephew of Hitler who did end up fighting on the American side in WWII, and fathered four sons. That stuff about their (the Hitler great-half-nephews’) pact to remain childless is an urban legend.
More terrible names, from when I was a teacher:
First Name: Loveness
Last Name: Mattress
She was pregnant at 16, never had a chance.
And why would you name your child “Trouble,” in any language. Surely that’s just begging for it.
I also had a prof who had a gorgeous little girl with the unfortunate name(s) Mara Wanda.
I think I’d rather have been actress Annie Potts’ son.
She named the boy Clay.
Clay Potts.
From #150
So where’s my Molly nomination?
On the island of Maui are the Silva brothers, Sterling, Quick, and Hi-Ho. I actually met Sterling in 1985, but knew the other two only by reputation. They have been written about in local newspapers, and in the gold standard of national reportage, The Reader’s Digest.
I have to agree… I suspect it has to do with force of habit making the name seem like an integral part of themselves. I’m one of the weirdos that changed my name. Not just changed the first name or last name, threw the whole thing away and picked something different. Most people I know call me by my online nickname anyway (not “Rrr”). Having a name that’s freakishly common in another country but damned rare in the country you grow up in is really annoying… I picked something a bit more international while still referencing the country I grew up in and consider my home. Didn’t like my original name, liked the fact that I was likely to suffer name discrimination due to it even less.
(Being a “Third Culture kid” really sucks sometimes, especially when around people who are extremely monocultured… Hm, and technically I should be called a “Fourth Culture Kid”, I suppose).
Ward S. Denker said:
Problem solved. We may have legal names, but we certainly don’t have to answer to them. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and I doubt any teacher would deny a child’s chosen nickname with a legal name like that.
You’d like to think that, but I can see some teacher who thinks their striking a blow against racism deliberately making a point of using the kid’s legal name. For every asshole, there’s an equal and opposite… um, re-asshole?
I used to work with a Richard Head.
I’m not sure if his parents realised.
I bet the kids at school did.
I personally knew a kid called Percival Donald MacDonald.
I shared a student house with his elder sister, who had been allowed to choose said name, aged 8.
I’m not sure whether or not little Percy got off lightly. His dad wanted to call him Algenon.
Unsurprisingly, he was a remarkably odd child.
My maternal grandmother was called Mary England Myers. (For those who don’t know, “Merrie England” is a pseudo-medieval cliche.) Whether the pun was deliberate or not I don’t know: her own maternal grandmother had the surname England; but she so hated it she insisted that my mother had no middle name.
p.s. I’m not claiming kinship with our tentacled overlord: Myers is too common a name for that – the most likely derivation of the English (as opposed to German) name being from Old Norse “myrr”, meaning marsh.
I had seen this story on the news but I had turned it off before I heard what name it was. I’m glad I heard it here before seeing their take on it.
Mike Crichton said:
You’d like to think that, but I can see some teacher who thinks their striking a blow against racism deliberately making a point of using the kid’s legal name. For every asshole, there’s an equal and opposite… um, re-asshole?
I submit that there is a possibility of this happening, however small. The emotional reaction that most of us have to the name seems the typical one. I can’t imagine that too many teachers get into teaching to harm their students or subject them to torment by their peers. It does sometimes happen, but rarely enough that it makes headlines.
I recall this story:
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=5890046
A band student forgot his trumpet, so the teacher decided to punish him by having the class empty their spit valves into his hand. It made national headlines at the time.
Nope. I entered kindergarten at the age of 5 (which is later than usual, though), and, unlike in France (école maternelle), kindergarten isn’t a school in Austria. Being utterly socially inept, I spent much of the time reading all available books.
Yep. It’s traditional to learn to read in the first months of school, at the age of 6. My brother and IIRC the older of my 2 sisters actually did so. I’m really starting to think it must have something to do that learning to read must take easily twice as long in English than in German.
I’m told I already knew all letters (and all traffic signs and all of the very few car brands I had ever encountered…) when I was 4, and one day I just put that knowledge together…
Me too. Except… we moved at the age of 11, so I’m not sure how precisely I remember the spot; I have no idea what else happened on that day; and I don’t remember what the word actually was! It started with F, though, and was a company logo on an envelope. Blue and orange, I think. I didn’t really have a long-term memory yet.
Oh yeah. I’m related to one who lives in Budapest. It comes from the middle 19th century when the Hungarians discovered nationalism, sought a great past for themselves, and took advantage of the ancient confusion between Hungarians and Huns (for example, the H in Hungarian is completely spurious, it comes from this very confusion).
Never seen any mention of another Elvis, but Adolf was a very ordinary name before WWII. Then came a brief upsurge for obvious ideological reasons, and then complete extinction.
Many Turkish given names are gender-neutral. A German court decided a few years ago that at least one given name has to be non-neutral… I don’t see the point, because you simply can’t tell that, say, Tolğa is male-only if you don’t know it means “war ax”…
Not just in Germany. My sister actually knows a Julia Ziemski who was born in Austria and will change her surname to Ziemska (or, more likely, has already done so) because she simply can’t bear the ungrammaticality of the situation.
Wow. Wow! I haven’t encountered that attitude since I read a French book about the life of a schoolboy in the 1950s.
“Gold standard” :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
Update:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481230,00.html
Kids removed from their parents for possible abuse.