That is great!!! I’ve always wondered why, if god needs prayers so much, people don’t just set up a perpetual computer-generated broadcast; Make god happy and leave people to do something worthwhile.
That final bit about adolescents consulting a Catholic priest was just too mean. I burst into laughter.
I’d credit Mr. Current with tons of creativity, but it’s mostly in terms of presentation, not content. I know he’s just slyly ripping off the gimme-gimme wealth evangelists who use scams like this every day on their TV and radio programs. Current’s videos are closer to documentaries than it’s comfortable to contemplate.
tsgsays
The skeptic mantra: If I only didn’t have a conscience. Because I bet there’s lots of people who would willingly shell out for this thing.
Allen Nsays
Abso-fuckin-lutely spot on. Thanks for the jump start on the morning.
When I was little I was always told never to pray for anything for myself because that was selfish and annoyed God. It was firmly drilled into me by my the anally retentive so-called teachers at my RC primary school that a prayer must always be for someone else. Fair enough.
So I prayed for all the school bullies to get horrible diseases. Well, kids are like that.
SC, OMsays
I like the subliminal-message pricing.
Christian A.says
I can see this comercial coming up in the next rendition of the GTA series. Would fit perfectly!
Perfect and hilarious. That guy’s a real talent. My favourite part is the god cloud. It really captures the fluffy ‘god loves you all’ sentiment while at the same time, with his menacing look, paying homage to his ‘but if you do anything wrong you’ll burn in hell for all eternity’ attitude. It’s very nice.
GodIsLovesays
JESUS ALLAH BUDDAH GOD JEMOVAH
John Phillips, FCDsays
Thanks PZ, I needed a good laugh.
Rogersays
@18,
You can’t hate something that doesn’t exist.
Curt Cameronsays
My favorite bit was the smiting in advance. I laughed out loud at that.
When I was little I was always told never to pray for anything for myself because that was selfish and annoyed God.
One of my earlier ejections from Sunday school came about over this very concept. The instructor was going on about God’s plan.
This innocent little squid put up his hand and asked that “if God had a plan for us, why do we pray? God doesn’t change his plan just because we ask? If God has a plan then the answer to my prayer is decided before I pray, right?”
The answer was, of course, something like “because you’re an evil child who is going to Hell if you don’t change your ways. Go see the [guy in a dress] and he will call your parents.”
negentropyeatersays
I would love to know what kind of equipment and software he uses for the editing. Very professional looking. Great job.
I’ve always wondered why, if god needs prayers so much, people don’t just set up a perpetual computer-generated broadcast…
In the relatively-early days of the Web, I was working with a guy who had started a small ISP-and-web-site company. One of his clients was a church, and they had specifically asked that the web site for their church include a form where people could submit their prayers.
I asked him: “So, where are you supposed to send the prayer text when users press the [Submit] button?”
He didn’t know, so I suggested /dev/null.
antaresrichardsays
When God preemptively smote Edward in his earlier video that was just a riot. That Pocket version makes a great Christmas too. Think of all the friends who will appreciate the thoughtfulness, and how prayer-warriors will benefit! I mean, what better way to arm the season?
Look out everyone! This item may not work! I agreed with PZ that we may need augmentation of some kind, which is why I purchased a Pump-Master 2000 – to augment myself. But after months of daily use, I’ve reluctantly come to the decision that it doesn’t work. This PrayerMAX may, (I say “may”), be just as useless. Buyer beware.
LisaJsays
Evolving Squid @ #27. I definitely share your sentiment there and feel your pain. I had similar experiences growing up. I remember always being so confused about everything ‘god’ and whenever I asked a teacher or family member a question to clarify something the reaction was either as you described, or they’d stammer on their words and duck out of the question because they didn’t get it either. Thinking about it now makes me angry and sad, and I would really like those years of my life back, thanks!
When I was in sixth grade (1977), in Abilene, Texas, my homeroom teacher announced that we had some special visitors. It was a couple of guys from a local church, and they had an easel with a sales pitch for Jesus. They summed up the Bible story in about thirty minutes. Then they asked us to put our heads on our desks, so each of us couldn’t see the other kids, and we were supposed to raise our hand if we’d been saved by Jesus. Even then I thought religion was a bunch of nonsense, but I sneaked a peek and every kid in the room was raising his hand. So you know what I did? I raised my hand, too. I was thinking, “What happens if I don’t raise my hand? Will my teacher get mad at me? Will the other kids–who are also probably peeking–make fun of me?” Pretty despicable for this to have happened, and it still gets me angry. Sorry if this is OT. Post 32 made me think of it.
Anselm, thanks, I googled it. You learn something new every day. Priceless quote: “The merit of turning an electric prayer wheel goes to the electric company.”
“Two dollars. I want my two dollars.” God still loves you, Mr. Myers. He will especially love you even more when you offer up your money and/or DaVinci Octopus t-shirt as a tithe (to yours truly).
@32 and @39: I know I can’t have my childhood back. Never again feeling any guilt from abandoning the religion of my parents and ancestors would make me happy. What religion does to children is insidious.
breadmakersays
#27 and #32
same experience here.
my parents were not great abstract thinkers, more like FP, rather than NT.
even more disturbing to me than their lack of answers on the subject was my shock when i realized they just didn’t think like me.
perhaps #32 some of those years could be redeemed via the realm of philosophy and religion in context of puritan reformed thinkers who termed difficulties with the questions like that one about prayer as “remaining in the center of biblical tension” where they saw the bible as portraying both what god does do and what god expects man to do, thus the reason for prayer according to Mathew Henry was that it is a privilege to come along side god desiring what he desires and asking for it to be done…
that said the puritan reformed perspective is theistic.
JDsays
LisaJ,
…My favourite part is the god cloud. It really captures the fluffy ‘god loves you all’ sentiment while at the same time, with his menacing look, paying homage to his ‘but if you do anything wrong you’ll burn in hell for all eternity’ attitude.
If you like the god cloud, then checkout one of his other videos: An Atheist Meets God that features the “god cloud” and beautifully ridicules the absurdity of Chritian theology. It’s one of my favorites.
I love Edward Current. He’s such a scamp. The first time I saw one of his videos I nearly stopped it because I thought he WAS a Christian!
Great stuff.
LisaJsays
JD, thanks for the link. That’s a great video – I remember PZ linking to that one a while ago. Hilarious.
breadmaker (#43). Hmmm, that’s not a bad way of thinking about it. Of course, in my life now it’s unnecessary to come up with a more satisfying answer to the prayer question such as the one you described, but I think my childhood self would really have appreciated that! Not a bad way of making a little more sense out of something that’s still totally non-sensical.
Lesserdevil at #42. Totally agreed – religion is terribly damaging to a child’s psyche. I think it’s one of the most insidious and broadly accepted forms of child abuse we’ve got going. I definitely don’t feel any guilt anymore though about breaking of the religious ties, in reference to my family. Definitely some frustration at times though that they just don’t get it, or really get me for that matter.
tsgsays
And all this for just six EASY payments of $69.99!
No, no, no. It’s just six easy payments of just $69.99. There’s a difference you know.
Bah hah! That was a riot, but get a load of this: that thing on his head is a SEX TOY! It’s for real. It’s called a Head Tingler, and I own one. It feels really good, too. I reviewed it here:
Religion was never an issue in my years as a student, and I even remember the time in high school when I started asking questions to some of my most catholic friends, they never overreacted, just said something like I don’t know, but my parents want me to be a catholic… Now most of them are agnostic at least. But I can only imagine some things said by several commenters.
Yeah, I liked that subliminal reference in the price too, brilliant!
LisaJsays
I just watched the video again. My new favourite line: ‘over 1% of the proceeds will go to our praying for children with cancer fund’. That so perfectly highlights the propensity of those real money grabbing christians to pretend they need your money for a real cause that they care about, when really they just want to scam people out of their money for their own personal gain. This video’s just full of genious gems.
Mikey Msays
Shouldn’t the “hard work” alternative be in black and white?
Evolving Squid, you must have gone to the same school as me.
True story:
After being endlessly lectured about the Virgin Mary by a pious child-hating nun which seemed the only subject she had any knowledge of, I had the temerity to put my hand up and ask innocently, “Please sister, what’s a virgin?” (I was eight years old.)
Result – a sharp smack round the head, told I was a “filthy disgusting child” and promptly sent off to the headmaster for a caning.
Faith schools – tear ’em all down, see if I care.
cactusrensays
Hey, weren’t you all paying attention to the disclaimer at the end? “The PrayerMax 5000 is not mocked.” But wait, if thats true, why didn’t God preemptively smite you all for your mockery?
JackCsays
Rev: Last I knew, it was Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. I must confess, I too wish to know why you hate G. O. D.? Did they perhaps fail to deliver your furniture at one point? Do you prefer perhaps ConWay? Maybe Bekins?
JC
tsgsays
The answer was, of course, something like “because you’re an evil child who is going to Hell if you don’t change your ways. Go see the [guy in a dress] and he will call your parents.”
There are few greater sins in religious training than “pointing out the ignorance of the instructor”.
Rev: Last I knew, it was Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. I must confess, I too wish to know why you hate G. O. D.? Did they perhaps fail to deliver your furniture at one point? Do you prefer perhaps ConWay? Maybe Bekins?
JC
I guess this leads to the next question. If G.O.D. is what you say it is, why are they love?
lurker42says
I’m pretty sure I saw one of these for sale at the “as seen on TV” store.
The scalp tingler part worked ok, imo.
Andreas Johanssonsays
So I prayed for all the school bullies to get horrible diseases. Well, kids are like that.
So is God, if we may believe the Old Testament.
JackCsays
G.O.D. is Leaving Our Valuables Exposed. This explains all. Who would want their valuables – usually accepted to be jewelry – exposed? Particularly if they are in the Family.
I mean, I don’t mind walking them around the house at times, but Leaving them Exposed – for anyone to just reach out and touch? That has got to be some kind of abomination.
It’s just too bad it didn’t spark a whole series of similar videos. (Not that I wish death on anyone, but if its by their own ridiculous stupidity…)
Umiliksays
Augmentation ? So it’s like a penis enlargement for the faith-challenged ?
Sad thing is there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if any of those religious snakeoil salesmen were to push this on one of their tv channels there’d be somebody out there buying this gizmo..
Ben@39, when I was in Grade 9, a substitute teacher played some song he’d recorded with his crappy Christian rock band, then asked, “So who thought that was a pretty good song?”. I think I was the only one who didn’t raise their hand. Mostly because the song really did suck, though, and I was (and am) a total music snob.
tsgsays
Ben@39, when I was in Grade 9, a substitute teacher played some song he’d recorded with his crappy Christian rock band, then asked, “So who thought that was a pretty good song?”. I think I was the only one who didn’t raise their hand. Mostly because the song really did suck, though, and I was (and am) a total music snob.
How did he react? I only ask because I was in a bar the other night and the singer of the sucky band asked “does anybody want to hear some Bette Midler?” The audience, unanimously, screamed “no” and she sang it anyway. All I could think was “why ask if you’re going to do it no matter what they say?”
I get a kick out of people who ask a question and then get pissed off at or ignore the answer.
dansays
Is it just me, or is Ed Current just getting funnier and funnier. This guy needs a TV show, or a least a recurring bit on The Daily Show. I loved his over-the-top finger-jabbing a car salesman overboardiness. Just great.
Holbachsays
Roger @ 25
Simple as that.
Bensays
Randy @ 65, luckily, I lived there only two years. A church on every corner.
Kristinmh @66, “Christian rock” gave me an aneurysm once, but God fixed me right up.
BdNsays
G.O.D. = Grand Overall Director
(or Government of Darkness…)
Jimsays
so he can’t fool me!! i know a solid gold jet will never fly! like how could you see out the solid gold windows? and would not the gold turbines get all soft when the fuel starts burning? if i got one the damn thing would just have to sit there in the front yard next to the potty with petunia’s in the bowl.
oh and one other thing..he is not the first. A buddy of mine (solid proof! Jims buddy said so!) was on the faculty at Virginia Polytech in the previous century when said faculty was asked by state politicians to evalutate a prayer amplification machine. This thing was to improve crop yield for farmers. All the farmer was supposed to do was put a photo of his fields in it, say some prayer and bingo! more food! The faculty told the inventor “Great, let us slide a photo of Africa in the thing, people there could use more food”. Inventor could see no way to make that a billable event, got pissed and took his toy home.
Yes, there is a blog on wordpress called “Science and Math Defeated”.
Mike in Ontario, NYsays
You guys will love this little OT tale.
I went to a holiday luncheon party in honor of the students who work in the same building as I, a Student Union at the college where I’m (under)employed. When I arrived, I entered a “guess how many pieces of candy are in this jar” contest, and just to tweak the person overseeing the signup, who I know to be devout, I listed my guess as 666.
Mine was the closest guess (actual=677), and I won the jar! But I declined the prize (the jar of candy itself) and allowed the runner-up to win the prize. Students need a jar of sugar more than I do.
I would encourage fellow pharyngulites to also use 666 as their guess for any similar contests in the future.
@29: I once ran into a web site that, for a fee, offered to send your prayers to the last known location of God, via radio.
They were aiming the prayers at the position of the Big Bang, on the premise that God must have been there when the universe was created. Locating the exact point was part of their service, using redshift and other bits of astronomy.
Since the apparent location of the Big Bang is wherever you happen to be, I suspect they might have made a small profit from the difference between charging for a galaxy spanning radio antenna and using a ham radio with the power turned off.
Ompompanoosucsays
@#14
Me too, well, not drilled but that is how I understood it at 12 years old. There was a raffle for a bike that I really wanted and my sister was participating in the raffle but said she didn’t want it because it was a boy’s bike. She said if she won she would give it to me. I prayed all night that she would win it. She did, but she didn’t give it to me. This proved to me that God knew I was only praying for my sister to win so that I would end up with the bike. He was teaching me a lesson. Much later in life I learned about probability and coincidence and that my sister is full of shit.
I like Poe’s Law but it seems only an extension of the observation “You can’t always tell advertisements from their parodies just by looking.” Good parodies – like the ones the National Lampoon used to run, you could stare at all day and not be sure.
'Tis Himselfsays
Anyone who’s read David Gerrold’s When Harlie Was One knows that GOD stands for Graphic Omniscient Device.
bastionsays
At #83 Meschlum said:
@29: I once ran into a web site that, for a fee, offered to send your prayers to the last known location of God, via radio.
They were aiming the prayers at the position of the Big Bang, on the premise that God must have been there when the universe was created.
Wow. So they were conceding that god hasn’t visited earth in the past 6000 years?
And what happened to the verified-by-the-bible claim that he was sighted in the vicinity of Jerusalem about 2000 years ago?
Just so you know, I was assalulted at walmart by the baptist minister in our town so he could get the last one.
THe Dark Avengersays
Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure.
Doon, National Lampoon
JackCsays
@TisHimself, #87 – I was beginning to think I was the only person that had ever read that. You are the first I have occasioned to meet that has even heard of it.
Ah, another gem from Edward Current. He’s got a great youtube channel.
Very funny!
Sadly, there are people gullible enough to actually buy this if it were a real product.
Edward Current does poe extremely well. Check out his evolution video.
A fine final comment about Catholic priests!
That is just plain awesome.
He’s soooo … funny!
That is great!!! I’ve always wondered why, if god needs prayers so much, people don’t just set up a perpetual computer-generated broadcast; Make god happy and leave people to do something worthwhile.
That final bit about adolescents consulting a Catholic priest was just too mean. I burst into laughter.
I’d credit Mr. Current with tons of creativity, but it’s mostly in terms of presentation, not content. I know he’s just slyly ripping off the gimme-gimme wealth evangelists who use scams like this every day on their TV and radio programs. Current’s videos are closer to documentaries than it’s comfortable to contemplate.
The skeptic mantra: If I only didn’t have a conscience. Because I bet there’s lots of people who would willingly shell out for this thing.
Abso-fuckin-lutely spot on. Thanks for the jump start on the morning.
I cant afford that :(
A fake person can’t afford a fake item.
awesome
Ridicule at its best.
When I was little I was always told never to pray for anything for myself because that was selfish and annoyed God. It was firmly drilled into me by my the anally retentive so-called teachers at my RC primary school that a prayer must always be for someone else. Fair enough.
So I prayed for all the school bullies to get horrible diseases. Well, kids are like that.
I like the subliminal-message pricing.
I can see this comercial coming up in the next rendition of the GTA series. Would fit perfectly!
(Of course, I said some prayers for the teachers too, along the same lines.)
Reverend, why do u hate GOD?
Solid gold jet? ROFL. I heard Ford were selling theirs.
He forgot the most important line: “But wait! If you order right now, you will get an extra one for free!
GOD? Is that an acronym for something?
Perfect and hilarious. That guy’s a real talent. My favourite part is the god cloud. It really captures the fluffy ‘god loves you all’ sentiment while at the same time, with his menacing look, paying homage to his ‘but if you do anything wrong you’ll burn in hell for all eternity’ attitude. It’s very nice.
JESUS ALLAH BUDDAH GOD JEMOVAH
Thanks PZ, I needed a good laugh.
@18,
You can’t hate something that doesn’t exist.
My favorite bit was the smiting in advance. I laughed out loud at that.
One of my earlier ejections from Sunday school came about over this very concept. The instructor was going on about God’s plan.
This innocent little squid put up his hand and asked that “if God had a plan for us, why do we pray? God doesn’t change his plan just because we ask? If God has a plan then the answer to my prayer is decided before I pray, right?”
The answer was, of course, something like “because you’re an evil child who is going to Hell if you don’t change your ways. Go see the [guy in a dress] and he will call your parents.”
I would love to know what kind of equipment and software he uses for the editing. Very professional looking. Great job.
#7:
In the relatively-early days of the Web, I was working with a guy who had started a small ISP-and-web-site company. One of his clients was a church, and they had specifically asked that the web site for their church include a form where people could submit their prayers.
I asked him: “So, where are you supposed to send the prayer text when users press the [Submit] button?”
He didn’t know, so I suggested /dev/null.
When God preemptively smote Edward in his earlier video that was just a riot. That Pocket version makes a great Christmas too. Think of all the friends who will appreciate the thoughtfulness, and how prayer-warriors will benefit! I mean, what better way to arm the season?
Look out everyone! This item may not work! I agreed with PZ that we may need augmentation of some kind, which is why I purchased a Pump-Master 2000 – to augment myself. But after months of daily use, I’ve reluctantly come to the decision that it doesn’t work. This PrayerMAX may, (I say “may”), be just as useless. Buyer beware.
Evolving Squid @ #27. I definitely share your sentiment there and feel your pain. I had similar experiences growing up. I remember always being so confused about everything ‘god’ and whenever I asked a teacher or family member a question to clarify something the reaction was either as you described, or they’d stammer on their words and duck out of the question because they didn’t get it either. Thinking about it now makes me angry and sad, and I would really like those years of my life back, thanks!
If God can, and does, smite preemptively, then it’s proof that God approves of the Bush Doctrine.
;o)
I like the hand-held bonus model–so that you can actually shit in the other hand to see which one fills up faster.
Re: automatic prayer broadcasts (#7)
Actually, the Tibetan Buddhists have had that figured out for some time — it’s called a »prayer wheel«.
Re: automatic prayer broadcasts (#7)
Actually, the Tibetan Buddhists have had that figured out for some time — it’s called a »prayer wheel«.
What does poe mean? I think understand generally. But is it an acronym, and what is the whole definition.
Poe’s Law
When I was in sixth grade (1977), in Abilene, Texas, my homeroom teacher announced that we had some special visitors. It was a couple of guys from a local church, and they had an easel with a sales pitch for Jesus. They summed up the Bible story in about thirty minutes. Then they asked us to put our heads on our desks, so each of us couldn’t see the other kids, and we were supposed to raise our hand if we’d been saved by Jesus. Even then I thought religion was a bunch of nonsense, but I sneaked a peek and every kid in the room was raising his hand. So you know what I did? I raised my hand, too. I was thinking, “What happens if I don’t raise my hand? Will my teacher get mad at me? Will the other kids–who are also probably peeking–make fun of me?” Pretty despicable for this to have happened, and it still gets me angry. Sorry if this is OT. Post 32 made me think of it.
Anselm, thanks, I googled it. You learn something new every day. Priceless quote: “The merit of turning an electric prayer wheel goes to the electric company.”
“do not test”
LOL
“Two dollars. I want my two dollars.” God still loves you, Mr. Myers. He will especially love you even more when you offer up your money and/or DaVinci Octopus t-shirt as a tithe (to yours truly).
@32 and @39: I know I can’t have my childhood back. Never again feeling any guilt from abandoning the religion of my parents and ancestors would make me happy. What religion does to children is insidious.
#27 and #32
same experience here.
my parents were not great abstract thinkers, more like FP, rather than NT.
even more disturbing to me than their lack of answers on the subject was my shock when i realized they just didn’t think like me.
perhaps #32 some of those years could be redeemed via the realm of philosophy and religion in context of puritan reformed thinkers who termed difficulties with the questions like that one about prayer as “remaining in the center of biblical tension” where they saw the bible as portraying both what god does do and what god expects man to do, thus the reason for prayer according to Mathew Henry was that it is a privilege to come along side god desiring what he desires and asking for it to be done…
that said the puritan reformed perspective is theistic.
LisaJ,
If you like the god cloud, then checkout one of his other videos: An Atheist Meets God that features the “god cloud” and beautifully ridicules the absurdity of Chritian theology. It’s one of my favorites.
Good job PZ, you broke Youtube.
#33:
In what respect, Charlie?
And all this for just six EASY payments of $69.99! I’m ordering mine now! Wealth, fame, come to daddy!
I love Edward Current. He’s such a scamp. The first time I saw one of his videos I nearly stopped it because I thought he WAS a Christian!
Great stuff.
JD, thanks for the link. That’s a great video – I remember PZ linking to that one a while ago. Hilarious.
breadmaker (#43). Hmmm, that’s not a bad way of thinking about it. Of course, in my life now it’s unnecessary to come up with a more satisfying answer to the prayer question such as the one you described, but I think my childhood self would really have appreciated that! Not a bad way of making a little more sense out of something that’s still totally non-sensical.
Lesserdevil at #42. Totally agreed – religion is terribly damaging to a child’s psyche. I think it’s one of the most insidious and broadly accepted forms of child abuse we’ve got going. I definitely don’t feel any guilt anymore though about breaking of the religious ties, in reference to my family. Definitely some frustration at times though that they just don’t get it, or really get me for that matter.
No, no, no. It’s just six easy payments of just $69.99. There’s a difference you know.
Bah hah! That was a riot, but get a load of this: that thing on his head is a SEX TOY! It’s for real. It’s called a Head Tingler, and I own one. It feels really good, too. I reviewed it here:
Head Tingler
Religion was never an issue in my years as a student, and I even remember the time in high school when I started asking questions to some of my most catholic friends, they never overreacted, just said something like I don’t know, but my parents want me to be a catholic… Now most of them are agnostic at least. But I can only imagine some things said by several commenters.
Yeah, I liked that subliminal reference in the price too, brilliant!
I just watched the video again. My new favourite line: ‘over 1% of the proceeds will go to our praying for children with cancer fund’. That so perfectly highlights the propensity of those real money grabbing christians to pretend they need your money for a real cause that they care about, when really they just want to scam people out of their money for their own personal gain. This video’s just full of genious gems.
Shouldn’t the “hard work” alternative be in black and white?
Evolving Squid, you must have gone to the same school as me.
True story:
After being endlessly lectured about the Virgin Mary by a pious child-hating nun which seemed the only subject she had any knowledge of, I had the temerity to put my hand up and ask innocently, “Please sister, what’s a virgin?” (I was eight years old.)
Result – a sharp smack round the head, told I was a “filthy disgusting child” and promptly sent off to the headmaster for a caning.
Faith schools – tear ’em all down, see if I care.
Hey, weren’t you all paying attention to the disclaimer at the end? “The PrayerMax 5000 is not mocked.” But wait, if thats true, why didn’t God preemptively smite you all for your mockery?
Rev: Last I knew, it was Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. I must confess, I too wish to know why you hate G. O. D.? Did they perhaps fail to deliver your furniture at one point? Do you prefer perhaps ConWay? Maybe Bekins?
JC
There are few greater sins in religious training than “pointing out the ignorance of the instructor”.
I guess this leads to the next question. If G.O.D. is what you say it is, why are they love?
I’m pretty sure I saw one of these for sale at the “as seen on TV” store.
The scalp tingler part worked ok, imo.
So is God, if we may believe the Old Testament.
G.O.D. is Leaving Our Valuables Exposed. This explains all. Who would want their valuables – usually accepted to be jewelry – exposed? Particularly if they are in the Family.
I mean, I don’t mind walking them around the house at times, but Leaving them Exposed – for anyone to just reach out and touch? That has got to be some kind of abomination.
JC
I was just watching some more of Ed Current’s videos, and this one is great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yD_Igdn9BQ&NR=1
It’s just too bad it didn’t spark a whole series of similar videos. (Not that I wish death on anyone, but if its by their own ridiculous stupidity…)
Augmentation ? So it’s like a penis enlargement for the faith-challenged ?
Sad thing is there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if any of those religious snakeoil salesmen were to push this on one of their tv channels there’d be somebody out there buying this gizmo..
Ben@39,
You poor bastard! I spent my first year of college in Abilene. I can’t think of a more heinous place to grow up.
Ben@39, when I was in Grade 9, a substitute teacher played some song he’d recorded with his crappy Christian rock band, then asked, “So who thought that was a pretty good song?”. I think I was the only one who didn’t raise their hand. Mostly because the song really did suck, though, and I was (and am) a total music snob.
How did he react? I only ask because I was in a bar the other night and the singer of the sucky band asked “does anybody want to hear some Bette Midler?” The audience, unanimously, screamed “no” and she sang it anyway. All I could think was “why ask if you’re going to do it no matter what they say?”
I get a kick out of people who ask a question and then get pissed off at or ignore the answer.
Is it just me, or is Ed Current just getting funnier and funnier. This guy needs a TV show, or a least a recurring bit on The Daily Show. I loved his over-the-top finger-jabbing a car salesman overboardiness. Just great.
Roger @ 25
Simple as that.
Randy @ 65, luckily, I lived there only two years. A church on every corner.
Kristinmh @66, “Christian rock” gave me an aneurysm once, but God fixed me right up.
G.O.D. = Grand Overall Director
(or Government of Darkness…)
so he can’t fool me!! i know a solid gold jet will never fly! like how could you see out the solid gold windows? and would not the gold turbines get all soft when the fuel starts burning? if i got one the damn thing would just have to sit there in the front yard next to the potty with petunia’s in the bowl.
Is this real?
NS
http://sciencedefeated.wordpress.com/
oh and one other thing..he is not the first. A buddy of mine (solid proof! Jims buddy said so!) was on the faculty at Virginia Polytech in the previous century when said faculty was asked by state politicians to evalutate a prayer amplification machine. This thing was to improve crop yield for farmers. All the farmer was supposed to do was put a photo of his fields in it, say some prayer and bingo! more food! The faculty told the inventor “Great, let us slide a photo of Africa in the thing, people there could use more food”. Inventor could see no way to make that a billable event, got pissed and took his toy home.
Yes, there is a blog on wordpress called “Science and Math Defeated”.
You guys will love this little OT tale.
I went to a holiday luncheon party in honor of the students who work in the same building as I, a Student Union at the college where I’m (under)employed. When I arrived, I entered a “guess how many pieces of candy are in this jar” contest, and just to tweak the person overseeing the signup, who I know to be devout, I listed my guess as 666.
Mine was the closest guess (actual=677), and I won the jar! But I declined the prize (the jar of candy itself) and allowed the runner-up to win the prize. Students need a jar of sugar more than I do.
I would encourage fellow pharyngulites to also use 666 as their guess for any similar contests in the future.
Thank you for introducing me to Edward Current. Frickin’ brilliant.
Took me about half the video to clock that it was a piss take. Fantastic!!!
Er…it was a piss take, right???
But wait, that’s not all!
Eddie’s funniest video to date.
lol @ catholic priest joke
Why does it remind me of an e-meter?
-jcr
Further evidence of the validity of Poe’s Law.
@29: I once ran into a web site that, for a fee, offered to send your prayers to the last known location of God, via radio.
They were aiming the prayers at the position of the Big Bang, on the premise that God must have been there when the universe was created. Locating the exact point was part of their service, using redshift and other bits of astronomy.
Since the apparent location of the Big Bang is wherever you happen to be, I suspect they might have made a small profit from the difference between charging for a galaxy spanning radio antenna and using a ham radio with the power turned off.
@#14
Me too, well, not drilled but that is how I understood it at 12 years old. There was a raffle for a bike that I really wanted and my sister was participating in the raffle but said she didn’t want it because it was a boy’s bike. She said if she won she would give it to me. I prayed all night that she would win it. She did, but she didn’t give it to me. This proved to me that God knew I was only praying for my sister to win so that I would end up with the bike. He was teaching me a lesson. Much later in life I learned about probability and coincidence and that my sister is full of shit.
G.O.D.?
Gullible Oaf’s Disease, surely.
The bible code, it’s real.
I like Poe’s Law but it seems only an extension of the observation “You can’t always tell advertisements from their parodies just by looking.” Good parodies – like the ones the National Lampoon used to run, you could stare at all day and not be sure.
Anyone who’s read David Gerrold’s When Harlie Was One knows that GOD stands for Graphic Omniscient Device.
At #83 Meschlum said:
Wow. So they were conceding that god hasn’t visited earth in the past 6000 years?
And what happened to the verified-by-the-bible claim that he was sighted in the vicinity of Jerusalem about 2000 years ago?
He just gets better.
Dudes, this is Current’s video on evolution:
Just so you know, I was assalulted at walmart by the baptist minister in our town so he could get the last one.
Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure.
Doon, National Lampoon
@TisHimself, #87 – I was beginning to think I was the only person that had ever read that. You are the first I have occasioned to meet that has even heard of it.
And I still love it. IBM, UBM, We all BM for IBM.
What a great story.
JC