It’s a stunning about-face. Not only does she admit that evolution is valid, but she confesses that she herself is an example of a transitional form.
“I am gutted that I have let the American Right down like this,” she said at a tearful press conference this morning, surrounded by her collection of stuffed polar bears in the den of her Anchorage home.
“Our primary argument for Creation and against the communist satanic onslaught of evolution has always been: ‘Well I’ve never seen a chimp turn into a man’ or ‘Show me a gorilla giving birth to a human baby and I’ll believe in evolution’.
“It has been an argument as sophisticated as our Grand Old Party, and I am devastated that I have undermined it, firstly by transforming from a pitbull to a woman, and now into an elderly male slave-owner.”
It remains to be seen how the American electorate will deal with this revelation, since while she is now an admitted evilutionist, she is also still a peppy, chipper, attractive former beauty queen, and it remains to be seen whether any statement of substance can distract them from superficialities.