Does the transition from noon to 1pm represent World War 3?
My first thought was, “human-centric.” They had to pick a spieces, though. It would be more interesting to see it with a constant time scale. Still, I want one.
Hey, don’t worry. The chances of a resonance cascade is a billion to one.
But… no…. nevermind. It’s running well within acceptable margins.
Feynmaniacsays
Stupid evilutionist! Clearly this pro-evolution watch required a watchmaker. Therefore, if a watch requires a maker so does teh entire universe and all the life in it. This watch clearly didn’t “evolve” from an hour glass. If it did then why are there still hour glasses??!?1
i’m going to stick with my Jesus clock. The arms are stuck at human and don’t move. Sure, it’s not a good way to tell time and doesn’t accurately reflect reality, but it makes me happy to think that it’s always lunch time. i’ll pray for you.
Josh,
There’s no need to start midnight at the formation of the Earth. They could start at the end of the single-celled era in order to get more variety of pictures. Still, I think it’s short on invertebrates.
GunOfSodsays
Still doesn’t beat the Jesus light.
GunOfSodsays
lets try that again..
LisaJsays
This is awesome. I want one.
Carlie @ #17, that was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
maxamillionsays
RE #28
Depending on how you look at the Jesus light, it’s actually pretty rude.
hmmm… I’m likeing the tetrapod theme, but I was hopeing to evolve down the theropod dinosaur line into a bird by midday, not into some “dammed-dirty ape!”
Even if it’s a bipedal ape that makes cool (if self-centred) evolution themed timepieces.
Whololosays
What, does it show time in logarithmic increments? The distance between unicellular and multicellular life is as big as the distance between the Neandethal and the Cro Magnon o_O
Adam Cuerdensays
You know, just once, I want to see a museum or zoological gardens exhibit on evolution set up as a maze or bush, letting the person end up at a wide variety of goals – or extinction. I’d suggest, for health and safety reasons, that the extinction be figurative, and not a death laser. =)
I read Pharyngula every day because I love it. However, this post is the first in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud. “Looks like it’s a tetrapod past a sponge.” Too much.
alexsays
oo, is it Chico time?
Andreas Johanssonsays
If it was accurately scaled, shouldn’t it just be entirely prokaryotic life until about 11:30, and only human for the last few microseconds?
Assuming the clock to start at 4 billion years ago, 11:30 would be about 167 million years ago, by which time our ancestors were already shrew-like proto-mammals. Eukaryotic life probably arose 1-2 billion years ago, or sometime 06:00-09:00 on the clock.
Taking “human” to mean genus Homo, it goes back about 2.5 million years, or about 27 seconds on the clock.
Want. Wanty want want want. Anyone have any idea where it’s from?
elaine ellertonsays
I want one!! (pout)
Brachinussays
I’m not all that familiar with vertebrate evolution — can someone fill me in on the role of “Swiss Movement” in the transition from semi-aquatic to land animals? It’s apparently important, since they labeled it and everything.
Bill from MNsays
So is 8:30 half past a monkey’s a**? ;)
Ohh fleeting chilhood memories…
Kareysays
I don’t wear watches but I would love to have this as a wall clock.
Mmh, I don’t think Gould would have approved; he was never a fan of the linear approach to pictorial descriptions of evolution…But I like it!
MarkMsays
WANT.
Robster, FCDsays
I went looking for one, and it appears to be from a Japanese designer collection from a couple years ago. I may ask my nephew (teaching English in Japan) to keep his eyes out for one…
If he can’t find one, then blastosphere it all!
Robster, FCDsays
Oh, and Tony (#2), “prepare for unforeseen consequences…”
Why aren’t there any transitional species between 9:00 and 10:00?
Dahansays
Lilly de Lure @ 7,
I had the same thought. Where’s the Trilobites?
Dahansays
You silly Darwinists, you’re not doing anything more than bringing to light all the gaps in Evil-lution! Where’s the transitional species, huh?!
Tim Hsays
in reply to #42
I’m guessing that the “6” position is some form of mammal-like reptile from the Permian or Triassic. Obviously this implies that mammal-like reptiles moved in a “Swiss-like” fashion- their nests were neat and timbered, they lived in picturesque mountainous environments, they had fearsome reputations as warriors but rarely took sides in the arguments of other animals, and they ate good chocolate.
When did chocolate evolve?
DiscoveredJoyssays
Just as well its not a Genesis watch as it would only tell the time 6 days a week and rest on the 7th.
Bride of Shrek OMsays
Better keep that idea away from the Catholics or they’ll steal the concept
Twelve positions on a clock face…twelve stations of the cross…coincidence, I think not. For $49.99 you too could have Jebus suffer twice daily on your wrist.
Philsays
hey I want an Evo watch too! You could make a ton of dough selling them on your website. PZ. Big hint.
C Barrsays
Maybe not a watch, but looking at my cheap K Mart wall clock, it would be really easy to make a new face out of paper and glue it on the thing. Would make great Xmas presents.
Yep, that sure looks gappy. It’s sorta charming as an evolutionist’s yank.
But that’s appreciating it only from a (rather dull-witted) evolutionary viewpoint. This is a watch for class-conscious creationists too!
If shown to them without any context, most creationists would react to the thing first as a scale of class, you know, which critters are inferior to people. They would be quite delighted with a bauble that stroked their substantial egos, until it dawns on them that it could be construed as an example of evilutionist temptation.
It’s potentially cute to both sides, and considerably more valuable to the creationist market. As any kind of showpiece for Darwinians, it’s horribly simplistic, with the time-scale ridiculously distorted. (Say, where 12 hours = 4.5 billion years; according to the watch, for example, primates appeared well over a billion years ago).
A good representation would have more stromatolites than this one has primates. And impertinant fish hadn’t even conquered the land until the final hour (News At Eleven).
The only problem a creationist might have with it is that it does not finish telling their story.
A class-conscious creationist might prefer to have people placed at 9, followed by the figures of a saint, an angel, and Christ/God, at 10, 11 and high-noon, respectively.
In that future-conscious vein, a proper creationist clock would be rather more like the “Doomsday Clock” that the Union of Concerned Scientists exhibit.
Because the creationists not only know all about how things have happened in the past, they’ve also got the future well-rigged.
Preserve the class. Know your place. Your chance will eventually come if you are good (obedient), and if you are, you will be Chosen by the Fellow who sits up at the top of the day.
Now, THAT watch would really have some balls!
Then the lying hypocrites can all celebrate THEIR version of evolutionary transformation into successively “higher beings”, on the way to becoming one with some infinitely elevated “godhead” every year when the clock strikes midnight at New Year’s.
I’d love to see the transitionary forms between a human and a saint, a saint and an angel, or an angel and the father-god-whiff-of-immaterial-pulchritude-guy.
Hey, wait a minute – how about a real test that demonstrates something we can all actually test, something that isn’t squirreled conveniently away in an impossible to consult dead-state “afterlife”?
They constantly speak of “tranformation”, and the seminal weirdness they refer to as “transsubstantiation” (in which even one of the most unprepossessing and mundane of all imaginable foodstuffs – tasteless crackers – may achieve godhood).
Well? Let’s taste – uh, test – it.
According to THEM, something HAPPENS to it when it is “consecrated”. Obviously, it EVOLVES from an unconsecrated state into a consecrated one, with the end-product possessing much more than stale gluten. The rumor has it that there is some guy called Jesus in there.
So, EVEN ACCORDING TO THEM, things transform from one thing to another. Isn’t THAT their “evolutionary” story?
DiscoveredJoys says
Do the hands of the watch suddenly whir round at the Cambrian?
Tony Sidaway says
Funny site, but this makes me worried about tomorrow
Sigmund says
Isn’t it running a bit too fast?
Sauceress says
Hmmm…the big hand is not quite there..
I say it’s a Tiktaalik past a sponge.
DLC says
Hm. Wake me up at microbes for lunch. . .
Nicole.Truscott says
Or not mixing terminolgy…..a fishapod past a sponge.
Lilly de Lure says
Lovely watch, but to be truly great it needs a trilobite on there somewhere (OK, OK I’m a trilo-fangirl – sue me).
alphgeek says
That’s flat out wrong. They missed the crocoduck.
Cuttlefish, OM says
Witchily, watchily,
P.Z.’s chronometer’s
Lovely to look at, but
What are the odds
He could get rid of the
Anthropocentrism?
Nature’s epitome?
Cephalopods!
Mrs Tilton says
Cuttlefish really needs to publish an anthology. (And Carl Buell should illustrate.)
Moggie says
Look at all those gaps!
Jon says
> Look at all those gaps!
Hehe i actually laughed out loud at that comment, Moggie. Well done.
Jackal says
Does the transition from noon to 1pm represent World War 3?
My first thought was, “human-centric.” They had to pick a spieces, though. It would be more interesting to see it with a constant time scale. Still, I want one.
Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT says
Where’s Adam or Eve or the snake?
This seems to be out of order!
Duvenoy says
I want one! I don’t wear wristwatchs, but want one anyway.
As to the gaps, the watch is merely symbolic but makes the point nicely.
[8]
El Herring says
Excellent!
… But what happens when you get to half past human?
Carlie says
“Sorry I’m late for work – I couldn’t work the pedals on the car until half-past bipedalism.”
MikeD says
From the same site:
http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/christianity-makes-perfect-sense.jpg
SC says
Where’s Adam or Eve or the snake?
Geh. The watchmaker must have been blind.
Buzz Buzz says
Tony:
Hey, don’t worry. The chances of a resonance cascade is a billion to one.
But… no…. nevermind. It’s running well within acceptable margins.
Feynmaniac says
Stupid evilutionist! Clearly this pro-evolution watch required a watchmaker. Therefore, if a watch requires a maker so does teh entire universe and all the life in it. This watch clearly didn’t “evolve” from an hour glass. If it did then why are there still hour glasses??!?1
i’m going to stick with my Jesus clock. The arms are stuck at human and don’t move. Sure, it’s not a good way to tell time and doesn’t accurately reflect reality, but it makes me happy to think that it’s always lunch time. i’ll pray for you.
/obvious joke
Janine ID says
Am I the only one who reads the time as 2:24?
Josh says
If it was accurately scaled, shouldn’t it just be entirely prokaryotic life until about 11:30, and only human for the last few microseconds?
Peter Mc says
No second hand. To stop the fight betweon the gradualists and the punctuated equilibriumists, I suppose.
Rob says
Is that a photoshop or can you actually buy the watch somewhere?
Jackal says
Josh,
There’s no need to start midnight at the formation of the Earth. They could start at the end of the single-celled era in order to get more variety of pictures. Still, I think it’s short on invertebrates.
GunOfSod says
Still doesn’t beat the Jesus light.
GunOfSod says
lets try that again..
LisaJ says
This is awesome. I want one.
Carlie @ #17, that was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
maxamillion says
RE #28
Depending on how you look at the Jesus light, it’s actually pretty rude.
Janine ID says
Could it be said that children turns Jesus on?
Horwood Beer-Master says
hmmm… I’m likeing the tetrapod theme, but I was hopeing to evolve down the theropod dinosaur line into a bird by midday, not into some “dammed-dirty ape!”
Even if it’s a bipedal ape that makes cool (if self-centred) evolution themed timepieces.
Whololo says
What, does it show time in logarithmic increments? The distance between unicellular and multicellular life is as big as the distance between the Neandethal and the Cro Magnon o_O
Adam Cuerden says
You know, just once, I want to see a museum or zoological gardens exhibit on evolution set up as a maze or bush, letting the person end up at a wide variety of goals – or extinction. I’d suggest, for health and safety reasons, that the extinction be figurative, and not a death laser. =)
Rebecca Watson says
I read Pharyngula every day because I love it. However, this post is the first in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud. “Looks like it’s a tetrapod past a sponge.” Too much.
alex says
oo, is it Chico time?
Andreas Johansson says
Assuming the clock to start at 4 billion years ago, 11:30 would be about 167 million years ago, by which time our ancestors were already shrew-like proto-mammals. Eukaryotic life probably arose 1-2 billion years ago, or sometime 06:00-09:00 on the clock.
Taking “human” to mean genus Homo, it goes back about 2.5 million years, or about 27 seconds on the clock.
Cronan says
It’s hammer time, of course!
All together now: Stop! Hammertime!
HC Grindon says
I want that watch.
Warren says
Want. Wanty want want want. Anyone have any idea where it’s from?
elaine ellerton says
I want one!! (pout)
Brachinus says
I’m not all that familiar with vertebrate evolution — can someone fill me in on the role of “Swiss Movement” in the transition from semi-aquatic to land animals? It’s apparently important, since they labeled it and everything.
Bill from MN says
So is 8:30 half past a monkey’s a**? ;)
Ohh fleeting chilhood memories…
Karey says
I don’t wear watches but I would love to have this as a wall clock.
Spidergrackleq says
WANT!
Bjørn Østman says
So at 12 o’clock we evolve to have no arms?
Inky says
I need a new watch! Where can I get this??
changcho says
Mmh, I don’t think Gould would have approved; he was never a fan of the linear approach to pictorial descriptions of evolution…But I like it!
MarkM says
WANT.
Robster, FCD says
I went looking for one, and it appears to be from a Japanese designer collection from a couple years ago. I may ask my nephew (teaching English in Japan) to keep his eyes out for one…
If he can’t find one, then blastosphere it all!
Robster, FCD says
Oh, and Tony (#2), “prepare for unforeseen consequences…”
Ron Sullivan says
What Mrs. Tilton said! I would so buy that, and copies for all my friends and half my enemies.
Hey, Changcho (#48), the thing does nicely combine time’s arrow with time’s cycle.
Codswallop, The Perfect Fool says
Why aren’t there any transitional species between 9:00 and 10:00?
Dahan says
Lilly de Lure @ 7,
I had the same thought. Where’s the Trilobites?
Dahan says
You silly Darwinists, you’re not doing anything more than bringing to light all the gaps in Evil-lution! Where’s the transitional species, huh?!
Tim H says
in reply to #42
I’m guessing that the “6” position is some form of mammal-like reptile from the Permian or Triassic. Obviously this implies that mammal-like reptiles moved in a “Swiss-like” fashion- their nests were neat and timbered, they lived in picturesque mountainous environments, they had fearsome reputations as warriors but rarely took sides in the arguments of other animals, and they ate good chocolate.
When did chocolate evolve?
DiscoveredJoys says
Just as well its not a Genesis watch as it would only tell the time 6 days a week and rest on the 7th.
Bride of Shrek OM says
Better keep that idea away from the Catholics or they’ll steal the concept
Twelve positions on a clock face…twelve stations of the cross…coincidence, I think not. For $49.99 you too could have Jebus suffer twice daily on your wrist.
Phil says
hey I want an Evo watch too! You could make a ton of dough selling them on your website. PZ. Big hint.
C Barr says
Maybe not a watch, but looking at my cheap K Mart wall clock, it would be really easy to make a new face out of paper and glue it on the thing. Would make great Xmas presents.
Becca says
+1 to what Josh said
Want more microbes
*grumble*
Bob Cadena says
Oh man! I was pretty sure the answer was:
“It is Time to get Drunk”
http://www.eecg.toronto.edu/~flouris/docs/baudelaire1.html
Arnosium Upinarum says
Yep, that sure looks gappy. It’s sorta charming as an evolutionist’s yank.
But that’s appreciating it only from a (rather dull-witted) evolutionary viewpoint. This is a watch for class-conscious creationists too!
If shown to them without any context, most creationists would react to the thing first as a scale of class, you know, which critters are inferior to people. They would be quite delighted with a bauble that stroked their substantial egos, until it dawns on them that it could be construed as an example of evilutionist temptation.
It’s potentially cute to both sides, and considerably more valuable to the creationist market. As any kind of showpiece for Darwinians, it’s horribly simplistic, with the time-scale ridiculously distorted. (Say, where 12 hours = 4.5 billion years; according to the watch, for example, primates appeared well over a billion years ago).
A good representation would have more stromatolites than this one has primates. And impertinant fish hadn’t even conquered the land until the final hour (News At Eleven).
The only problem a creationist might have with it is that it does not finish telling their story.
A class-conscious creationist might prefer to have people placed at 9, followed by the figures of a saint, an angel, and Christ/God, at 10, 11 and high-noon, respectively.
In that future-conscious vein, a proper creationist clock would be rather more like the “Doomsday Clock” that the Union of Concerned Scientists exhibit.
Because the creationists not only know all about how things have happened in the past, they’ve also got the future well-rigged.
Preserve the class. Know your place. Your chance will eventually come if you are good (obedient), and if you are, you will be Chosen by the Fellow who sits up at the top of the day.
Now, THAT watch would really have some balls!
Then the lying hypocrites can all celebrate THEIR version of evolutionary transformation into successively “higher beings”, on the way to becoming one with some infinitely elevated “godhead” every year when the clock strikes midnight at New Year’s.
I’d love to see the transitionary forms between a human and a saint, a saint and an angel, or an angel and the father-god-whiff-of-immaterial-pulchritude-guy.
Hey, wait a minute – how about a real test that demonstrates something we can all actually test, something that isn’t squirreled conveniently away in an impossible to consult dead-state “afterlife”?
They constantly speak of “tranformation”, and the seminal weirdness they refer to as “transsubstantiation” (in which even one of the most unprepossessing and mundane of all imaginable foodstuffs – tasteless crackers – may achieve godhood).
Well? Let’s taste – uh, test – it.
According to THEM, something HAPPENS to it when it is “consecrated”. Obviously, it EVOLVES from an unconsecrated state into a consecrated one, with the end-product possessing much more than stale gluten. The rumor has it that there is some guy called Jesus in there.
So, EVEN ACCORDING TO THEM, things transform from one thing to another. Isn’t THAT their “evolutionary” story?
What time is it!?
Brent says
I love this thread and every commenter in it.