Power of prayer


Barack Obama will be giving his acceptance speech at the DNC outside, so what do the geniuses at Focus on the Patriarchy propose to do? They urge their followers to pray for rain.

Pathetic. Why not suggest instead that they pray for thunderbolts of doom, and that the earth split open beneath Obama’s feet and swallow him up with a chthonic belch of sulfur and magma? It would be just as effective.

I swear, god-botherers nowadays have lost all sense of style.

Comments

  1. Chris Riley says

    What’s particularly infuriating is that if it does rain, these Christians will feel strongly validated in the power of prayer.

    If it doesn’t rain, they’ll have already forgotten about their latest unanswered prayer.

  2. Stephen Wells says

    For some reason this makes me think of Cracked.com’s “Most bad-ass Bible verses.” According to the OT, YHWH used to be all about torching people with flames from the sky, dropping them into chasms, or smiting them with plagues, boils and vermin.

  3. True Bob says

    Rain is the most pathetic kind of smiting. I think they shold pray for flaming toads falling from the sky.

  4. LisaJ says

    Wow, rain? That is so weak. Come on guys, have some creativity. They’re not even fun to make fun of anymore.

  5. Michelle says

    Last time christians prayed for rain (cuz of a drought) they got floods! Now what assholeish hijinks will God pull this time? I can’t WAIT!

    God’s my favorite comedian.

  6. spencer says

    Last time christians prayed for rain (cuz of a drought) they got floods!

    Really? I thought the last time they did that – when Georgia’s governor did it a few months ago – they got nothing but more drought.

    Either way, pretty clear evidence that prayer doesn’t work. As if we needed any.

  7. Snark says

    By now I’m absolutely convinced, that god-botherers WERE created. God has formed them personally out of shit. Otherwise, there sheer amount of dung between their ears simply isn’t explainable.

  8. says

    Rain? Indeed pathetic.

    A rain of flaming toads would be better.

    But the thing they should pray for is a gang of bears, forty or so. Not the ravening child-killing bears of the Old Testament, but flaming poisonous inside-out bears falling from the skies!

    Uh, I think I’ve done a bit too much mathematics today. I’ll go now and rest.

  9. says

    Rain? RAIN!?!?

    Wouldn’t praying for McCain to win be better? I mean if they have the ability to get God to piss all over the DNC couldn’t they just request something that’s more ends than means?

    Or for fuck sake, why not pray for Huckabee to mysteriously win the White House? I mean they like him much better than McCain anyway. If prayer works on wussy stuff like rain, it surely can work on bigger things.

    That’s pretty myopic crazy right there. I think they’re missing the big picture.

  10. spencer says

    Rain is the most pathetic kind of smiting.

    For sure. You’d think they’d pray for something a bit more exotic, so that when it happened they could use the improbability of it all as evidence of God’s existence.

  11. Wowbagger says

    What do you expect from people who worship a jealous, petty god?

    Certainly not imagination, that’s for sure. What a bunch of dumbasses.

  12. says

    But, they have to pray for something that has some remote possibility of actually occurring. They know it isn’t going to rain toads, or sulphur. But good old H2O rain, that they have a shot at.

  13. says

    well they’re wasting their fucking time, because the Anti-Christ is not going to let a few puny human prayers get in the way of his fulfilling Scripture. Fuck Off FOF

  14. Lycosid says

    Spencer (#7),

    Michelle’s right. Georgia was hit with flash flooding and a tornado in the same time frame as the rain dance BS. The storm was fast moving and did nothing to alleviate the drought conditions.

    The null hypothesis triumphs again!

  15. Dutch Delight says

    Here they go again, christians telling their god what to do and demoting his divine plan to a hobby on the side.

  16. Kate says

    So they’re not brave enough to spit on Mr. Obama themselves, so they hope their imaginary friend will do it for them, eh?

    Pathetic.

    I’m with those who favour praying for flaming frogs. Now THAT’S a prayer. That’s a request worthy of an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being.

    I know if I were all those omni things I be pretty insulted if one of the tiny, pathetic, mewling creatures I molded out of mud and a bone thought so little of my power that they asked me to get some guy a bit damp because they don’t agree with his politics.

  17. Wowbagger says

    I mean, why not ask to have him turned into a pillar of salt? He’s done it before.

  18. says

    well they’re wasting their fucking time, because the Anti-Christ is not going to let a few puny human prayers get in the way of his fulfilling Scripture. Fuck Off FOF

    I knew it. God really is a weakling.

  19. Rarus.vir says

    That’s it, just keep posting this crazy shit, we don’t have to say or do anything to make them look bad and/or hateful, they do a much better job of those themselves. The only way religion is going to be sent to the dungeons of time is if we broadcast far and wide the stupid nihilistic shit they say and do.
    Sites like these have made a significant contribution to others who are likeminded and also want to see this plague of religion cured.
    Keep up the good work pharygulites, and remember, take the high road, don’t use their tactics but expose them loudly.

  20. bgbaysjr says

    LisaJ @ #5:

    Wow, rain? That is so weak.

    I know! But it is because they are weak, and maybe they are starting to realize it. They know that if they pray for fire or toads or flaming bears (love it!) that it. will. not. happen.

    But it might rain, and they could claim victory, and that theirs is a Mighty God™ (that they can still boss around). And everyone else would see how fundamentally pathetic they finally, really are.

    It almost gives me… hope. (And I hate it when that happens!)

  21. Dianne says

    Why pray for rain instead of something more impressive? Well, see, there’s a chance it really will rain and allow them to think that their prayers have been answered. Praying for flaming bears to come eat Obama and all his followers…not so likely to happen. It’s sort of like how the Pope almost never speaks in “infallible mode” anymore because he’s afraid of being proved wrong and having the whole thing collapse.

  22. tony says

    Reread the story, the guy was saying that tongue in cheek, you guys are over reacting, just like PZ over reacted with his Koran, Eucharist, atheist book stunt.

  23. Wowbagger says

    we don’t have to say or do anything to make them look bad and/or hateful

    Bad and/or hateful is one thing – this is just…lame. No wonder all the other gods laugh at jesus.

  24. SEF says

    Why not suggest instead that they pray for thunderbolts of doom …

    Obviously you already know this but it’s because, in reality, they don’t genuinely have faith in their god or believe in their god’s abilities at all and know full well they have approximately zero chance of anything unusual happening. So they resort to asking for the probable in order to have the best chance of being able to claim credit for it afterwards when it was going to happen anyway.

  25. Archaeopteryx says

    So, if it doesn’t rain, I guess we can take that as an endorsement of Obama?

  26. Dianne says

    So, if it doesn’t rain, I guess we can take that as an endorsement of Obama?

    Then would a light and intermittent mist be god’s way of saying “neutral”?

  27. says

    Rain? In Denver, on an August afternoon? (You know, like it does normally every year)

    Well, there’s a sign of divine intervention for you. /insert eyeroll here

    Gahhh. The stupid. It burns…

  28. Nick Gotts says

    tony@25,

    From the linked report:
    “Stuart Shepard made the prayer request in his latest Internet video for the evangelical Christian group.

    He says he’s only partly joking.”

  29. Benjamin Franklin says

    Spencer @ # 7

    I thought the last time they did that – when Georgia’s governor did it a few months ago – they got nothing but more drought.

    In Georgia the drought does continue, but after Sonny Purdue’s gathering of believers, there was a day or two of light, brief sprinkles, so I guess you could accept the fact that Georgia’s god performed a “drip tease”.

  30. says

    I don’t see too much wrong with that. Far better to encourage people to pray for rain than to encourage them to do anything else.

    All it means is that on the day anyone who doesn’t like Obama will be stuck at home muttering to themselves. Or in church. Wherever they are they won’t be causing riots/problems/terrorising activities etc.

    “Then would a light and intermittent mist be god’s way of saying “neutral”?”

    haha. lol.

  31. Dutch Delight says

    just like PZ over reacted with his Koran, Eucharist, atheist book stunt.

    Yea, I mean, whats a human life worth anyway.

  32. Wowbagger says

    Ugh, christians are such miserable little pissants. They shit me, they really do.

    What’s the point of an omnimax god if he can’t do anything? If one side truly believed they were going to be chosen by god then they would fucking well sit and home and not bother with any of this shit because it wouldn’t matter what the public thought; god, in his infinite wisdom, would stuff the ballot boxes.

    Though that does make me wonder a bit about the result of the last presidential election…

  33. Dianne says

    just like PZ over reacted with his Koran, Eucharist, atheist book stunt.

    Believers threatened Prof Myer’s life, family, and livelihood, and you think it was PZ
    who overreacted?

  34. Joseph says

    Obama is hardly the Atheist candidate in the race. In his zeal to win over the Christian evangelical voters, he’s trotting out more Bible verses and Christian imagery than Bush ever dreamed of doing. At least McCain keeps his religion mostly to himself.

  35. MikeG says

    This reminds me of a quote from Steve Allen that seems “purposely” fitting for this absurdity.

    “If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.”

  36. says

    People, you’re forgetting something: pray is a chance game. Think of it as a roulette.

    Praying for some big and spectacular smiting, like thunderstorms, earthquakes and volcanoes, is like betting on number: the payoff is surely bigger if you win (“Look! My God is truly powerful and he clearly disaproves of you!”), but your chances of winning are slim. So, these guys just play as safe as possible and bet on color: “God, make it rain.” Much smaller payoff, but “victory” is easier.

    So much for their having “faith.”

  37. says

    Obama is hardly the Atheist candidate in the race. In his zeal to win over the Christian evangelical voters, he’s trotting out more Bible verses and Christian imagery than Bush ever dreamed of doing. At least McCain keeps his religion mostly to himself.

    I’ll take Obama’s annoying penchant for religious references over McCain’s outright pandering to the serious wingnuts in the faith based community. I know plenty of people who are religious and I trust their judgment on issues. Their religion sometimes helps them guide good decisions or does not interfere.

    It’s the people who use their religion to guide them and make horrible decisions or use their religion as a bludgeon to smash those who disagree with them that concern me.

    Maybe Obama will turn out to be this way but the evidence so far is resting squarely on the other side.

  38. Dutch Delight says

    Obama is hardly the Atheist candidate in the race. In his zeal to win over the Christian evangelical voters, he’s trotting out more Bible verses and Christian imagery than Bush ever dreamed of doing. At least McCain keeps his religion mostly to himself.

    Yes, thats why the McCain camp uses religious imagery in their Obama attack ads and his party is known to bend over backwards to give special privileges to religious sects that bring in the most votes. There are plenty of comments from McCains side that contradict your opinion. Did you pull that last argument straight out of your ass or what?

    Besides, most atheists are particularly concerned about the wall of separation between church and state, how Obama courts his voters is not very relevant as long as he keeps that up. Since most sane believers also want a secular state I’m hard pressed to make any sense of your post.

  39. Liberal Atheist says

    #12

    I would have expected much more from people who worship a murderous, psychopathic god.

  40. Casper says

    Shortsighted prayer.

    Let’s say it rains. Hard. And 75,000 people show up anyway. To watch a political speech. For hours. In the rain. Then, they go absolutely bananas during the speech.

    Am I the only one who’s been to an intense event in the rain? The kind that everyone wants to be there so badly, it’s once in a lifetime, and they’re never leaving? A major rainstorm might only add to the history of what has a chance to be an extremely memorable speech.

    Did I just talk myself into flying to Denver to watch a speech? I think I did.

  41. LisaJ says

    bgbaysjr at #23. You are right. Maybe this is a good sign that they too are starting to see that they, and their prayers, are simply ridiculous. Yay! Now we’ll just have to wait another millenia or two before they admit it. Can’t wait! :)

  42. Blaidd Drwg says

    James Dobson, during the primaries, claimed that he would ‘sit out’ this election, because McCain isn’t “Christian” enough for his taste. Now Dobson is on his knees, lining up with the rest of the religious ‘right’ syncophants, to kiss McCain’s saggy posterior – simply because he’s not a Democrat – especially a Dem with a funny name, and permanent suntan.

  43. llewelly says

    If one side truly believed they were going to be chosen by god then they would fucking well sit and home and not bother with any of this shit because it wouldn’t matter what the public thought; god, in his infinite wisdom, would stuff the ballot boxes.

    No, no, no! God works through people, doncha know?
    Therefor, God will make people get up and go vote for the right candidate. And if God thinks not enough people voted for the right candidate, the people will be punished – probably with lots of hurricanes.

  44. Moggie says

    Stuart Shepard made the prayer request in his latest Internet video for the evangelical Christian group.

    He says he’s only partly joking.

    What a pathetic coward. It’s not just that he avoids the flaming toads option: even asking for something as weak as rain, he has to build in an excuse for failure. “So what if it didn’t rain? Haha, you didn’t think I was serious about that, did you?”

  45. Tom says

    I could die happy if someone got a photo of Dobson with his hand down Ted Haggard’s pants.

  46. El Herring says

    God works through people? So how exactly does that sit with free will?

    Great post PZ. Gave me my laugh of the day. Personally I think a plague of red hot chilli flavour extra sticky flesh eating gummi bears would convince me, nothing less.

  47. skinman says

    I think god has his timing off because it poured on Denver last night. This after one of the driest years on record. I guess even god makes mistakes. Or maybe people are just praying wrong.

  48. aratina says

    Georgia’s own newspaper helped reinforce the myth of the rain dance ( the links are here and here ). It seemed strange, though, how the Gov held back from dancing until there was a high probability of rain in some parts of Georgia. The truth is that it did rain on that day in isolated spots that happened to contain the most sheeple (Athens, the liberal hotspot, did not receive any rain for days following the dance). Aren’t these Christians confusing paganism with Christianity when they pray to affect nature?

  49. Jason Failes says

    Though I am by no means a religious man, I have to wonder why American Christians are so devout to the Republican party.

    Although war and punishment no doubt appeal to those who embrace the Bible’s atrocious first half, Christianity is ostensibly about Christ, and many of his speeches, most notably the Sermon on the Mount, place Jesus’ politics firmly in the liberal camp (and on the side of the First Amendment: “give unto Caesar” and all that).

    I know that people are really just looking for a justification to be bigoted, hate-filled, backwards homophobes, but I’m surprised that there’s not a bigger movement amongst liberal Christians to not only depict their own beliefs as biblically-inspired, but to call conservative Christians on their own extra-biblical claims of what Jesus would or wouldn’t want in the world today.

    (Is this the spiritual equivalent of “But the kid in me likes the frosted side”?)

  50. says

    at #52: “Personally I think a plague of red hot chilli flavour extra sticky flesh eating gummi bears would convince me, nothing less.”

    Ugh. Can you imagine the headlines?

    Accurate: “Speech disturbed by cannibal candy animals”

    Fanciful: “Un-bear-able! Denverites say they’ve seen worse”

    Far-out: “Homophagous ursines: Another agent of the reptiloids?

  51. Not that Louis says

    The Republicans are having their convention in my town this year (Apparently, Nuremburg was all booked up). Were I of a praying orientation, I still wouldn’t be sure what the hell to pray for.

  52. Freeman74 says

    From Report:

    “Sure it’s boyish humor perhaps to wish for something like that, but at the same time it’s something people feel very strongly about. They’re concerned about where he would take the nation,” said Shepard.

    It seems he is drawing a parallel between wishing and praying, and what is that old saying…

    Wish in one hand and pray in the other and see… wait, that might not be quite right.

  53. varlo says

    Is the fundy god downsizing? From a full-fledged hurricane on New Orleans, to a mere rainshower on Demver? Oh well, at least they are good for at least one good laugh every day.

  54. RamblinDude says

    Oh, oh, I understand they are also praying for the “Parking Angel” to deny Obama a good spot. Is there nothing these vile people will not stoop to?

  55. Voracious says

    #58:

    The Republicans are having their convention in my town this year . . . I still wouldn’t be sure what the hell to pray for.

    Pray that Cheney changes his mind and makes a speech.

  56. Tony says

    Hey you know what, prayers aren’t all that bad, even if there is no Supreme Being, as so many on this blog think, the prayers raise conscienousness and get people to work towards a particular good. So no, prayers are not really talking to oneself. think about it.

  57. Snitzels says

    Wait… if it doesn’t rain, isn’t that part of god’s predefined set plans that have existed for all of eternity? Isn’t praying for rain a direct slap in the face to the man in the sky? Heresy!!!

    lol

  58. RamblinDude says

    Tony,

    We have thought about it. These people are trying to use prayer as a weapon to advance their personal political agenda.

    Not much consciousness raising going on here. Think about it.

  59. Blaidd Drwg says

    “The Republicans are having their convention in my town this year”

    Well, at least we know where all the gay prostitutes will be.

  60. Pierce R. Butler says

    If it rains in the Galapagos, we’ll know whom ol’ Nobodaddy really has it in for…

  61. Kseniya says

    Hey you know what, prayers aren’t all that bad, even if there is no Supreme Being, as so many on this blog think, the prayers raise conscienousness and get people to work towards a particular good. So no, prayers are not really talking to oneself. think about it.

    Think? Do you expect me to THINK?

    (No, Mr. Bond – I expect you to numbly accept any mindless drivel that I feed you!)

    Hey, you know what, Tony, why not skip the non-existent middle-man? Why not use the prayer time for something other than talking to oneself? For example: Instead of praying for someone to recover from cancer, why not use that time (instead of wasting it) doing something to raise money for cancer research?

  62. Jonathan says

    I’m not sure where the DNC is happening this year, but I’d be curious to know what the historical liklihood of rain on that date is?

  63. phantomreader42 says

    Skinman @ #53:

    I think god has his timing off because it poured on Denver last night. This after one of the driest years on record. I guess even god makes mistakes. Or maybe people are just praying wrong.

    PREYUR: U R DOIN IT RONG!11

    LOLCATS make everything better.

  64. Steve_C says

    Yeah. DOn’t pray for rain in Iran or Africa where the droughts are killing people.

    Pray to ruin an acceptance speech.

    What a bunch of fucktards.

  65. Alethias says

    It’s monsoon season in this part of the country. I’m in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the weather is pretty similar here to Denver. on August 28th, rain is likely. Focus on the Family telling it’s followers to pray for rain in August in Denver is not that different in significance from an Eskimo Chieftain telling his tribe to pray for snow in winter. It’s just silly.

  66. says

    @#51:

    “chthonic belch of sulfur and magma”

    Definitely. That line reminds me of Lovecraftian stuff.

    My personal opinion?

    I’d love to see a cascade of sculpted obsidian butterflies with razor-sharp wings to shred all enemies of the Holy Republican Party.

    If that happens, I might switch from Pastafarian to Christian.

  67. says

    Why not suggest instead that they pray for thunderbolts of doom, and that the earth split open beneath Obama’s feet and swallow him up with a chthonic belch of sulfur and magma?

    They probably ARE praying for that, but in the hypocritical pious code talk customary to modern appeals to the Old Testament God. They’re praying for “vacancies in the DNC”.

  68. Observer says

    So if it doesn’t rain during the speech, then god must approve of Obama. That’s how it works, right?

  69. druidbros says

    “So if it doesn’t rain during the speech, then god must approve of Obama. That’s how it works, right?”

    NOOO. It means he/she/it isnt listening right now,leave a message and he/she/it will get back to you.

  70. True Bob says

    Mighty god was also foiled by iron chariot wheels.

    [Ace Ventura]
    Looooooohooooser
    [/Ace]

  71. soboco says

    Okay, so if it’s clear, 70 degrees, and 10% humidity, we’ll know God hates Focus on the Family.

    Actually, I’m ticked off that they may close Interstate 25 for this. 300,000 people will be stuck in gridlock so that they can move to Invesco Field.

  72. abb3w says

    Actually, it makes sense as a political tactic. There is a reasonable chance they might get rain. Thus, if it does happen, they can claim it was due to prayer, which reinforces their grip on the credulous, and may net them a few more.

  73. Jason says

    If I remember the outcome of the Templeton Foundation’s study on prayer, wouldn’t praying for rain slightly increase the chance of complications in the rain-making process?

  74. Stephen Ockham says

    Weak!

    How little faith must they have if all they’re going to pray for is -rain- something that happens all the time outside.

    They should pray for something that wouldn’t just be dismissed as chance if their god comes through for them. Something like a leathal rainbow, hail made out gold, or even just 20 consecutive lightning strikes on the podium.

    But ‘rain’ oooh, so scary.

  75. Longtime Lurker says

    Re:

    But the thing they should pray for is a gang of bears, forty or so.

    That’s what Larry Craig is praying for!

  76. clinteas says

    Hey,lighten up !

    If some of you guys can pray for lower petrol prices,Im not really shocked anymore to hear some deluded christian is praying for rain too, half joking or not LOL…
    What are they putting in the food in the U.S.,man it must be powerful stuff.

    These people that are so concerned where Obama might lead their country under god,should start praying for McCain,who just got thoroughly outwitted by a Partygirl with the intelligence of a lightbulb.

  77. says

    Of course it won’t work. Barack Obama is CLEARLY a MAN OF FAITH.

    God will take his side on this, (even though he was a little late in saving his close friend and pastor).

    So do not worry, O Obama heads…

    God is looking after your guy… Just ask Obama…

  78. True Bob says

    clinteas, we have absolutely no idea what’s in our food. The industry can regulate itself. That’s also why no cops give traffic tickets, since nobody speeds. ;)

    IMHO, I think they all suffer brain damage from sucking on lead-laced chinese cheap-o toys.

  79. Fedaykin says

    Actually here in Colorado it’s monsoon season in August, thus we fairly regularly get afternoon thunderstorms that will rage for about 30 minutes and then blue skys will return (Colorado has interesting weather)

    These cretins know this so when the likely event of a thunderstorm happens they can claim “See look! God is on our side!”.

  80. Longtime Lurker says

    What are they putting in the food in the U.S.,man it must be powerful stuff.

    It’s E. coli , clinteas. We have the conservatives to thank for that.

  81. Nick Gotts says

    druidbros@83,
    “Your prayer is important to us. Thank you for continuing to have faith. One of our saints will be with you shortly… Your prayer is important to us. Thank you for continuing to have faith. One of our saints will be with you shortly… Your prayer is important to us. Thank you for continuing to have faith. One of our saints will be with you shortly…”

  82. Nick Gotts says

    McCain,who just got thoroughly outwitted by a Partygirl with the intelligence of a lightbulb. – clinteas

    That’s unfair – I know some very bright lightbulbs.

  83. Numenaster says

    “Your thoughts on religion, Doc Myers?”
    “Consign the whole lot to the fires!”
    With this I agree.
    Unfortunately,
    The thought still needs many more buyers.

  84. El Herring says

    And in the left corner, we have a cascade of sculpted obsidian butterflies with razor-sharp wings – and on the right, 100mph gusts of extra sticky flesh eating gummi bears (all green ones, I might add)…

    Now THAT would be worth watching! Anyone care to commentate?

  85. says

    @78

    > If that happens, I might switch from Pastafarian to
    > Christian.

    If that happened, you wouldn’t have the chance, though, right? I mean given the shredded-ness of yourself, myself, weselves and all the other enemies.

    :-

  86. David D.G. says

    PZ: Serious kudos for knowledge of the word “chthonic,” not to mention correct spelling and usage of it!

    ~David D.G.

  87. Patricia says

    This here is Ahmerika! Flaming bullfrogs and buffalo hail. One or two gators thrown in as missiles and I’ll believe! Oh! Skunks, nice finish.

  88. Farb says

    I realize this may have little effect upon most Pharyngulites, but I think this latest BS from FoF actually stands in contradiction to most of the Christian message they purport to advocate. Here’s an example:

    Matt 25:31-46
    31 But when the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the angels with him, then shall he sit on the throne of his glory: 32 and before him shall be gathered all the nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as the shepherd separateth the sheep from the goats; 33 and he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
    34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 for I was hungry, and ye gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took me in; 36 naked, and ye clothed me; I was sick, and ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
    37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, and fed thee? or athirst, and gave thee drink? 38 And when saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39 And when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
    40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of these my brethren, (even) these least, ye did it unto me.
    41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels: 42 for I was hungry, and ye did not give me to eat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink; 43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in; naked, and ye clothed me not; sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
    44 Then shall they also answer, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
    45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not unto one of these least, ye did it not unto me.
    46 And these shall go away into eternal punishment: but the righteous into eternal life.
    (ASV)

    Now the FoF apparatchik who pitched the “prayer” request to his master’s (i.e., Dobson’s) minions tried to cover his bases by calling it a joke, as if to deflect his critics in advance. Instead it appears that Dobson’s functionaries need know their Bible no better than his cultish followers. But we all knew that: nihil novum sub sole.

    It’s why I keep saying that the best Christians I see in the Culture Wars are numbered among the atheists; and the worst are the ones who parade their pseudo-faith the most ostentatiously.

  89. Jonathon says

    Well, if this stunt goes like so many similar prayer initiatves then we can count on sunny skies instead of torrential rain.

    These people do not even deserve to be called “Christians”. They are Yahwists, dedicated to the tribal god of the ancient Hebrews. They love vengance and punishment and the like. They care nothing for mercy, love, peace, etc. – you know, all those things that Jesus talked about.

    How sad. These people would throw Jesus out of their churches were he to show up today. They’d call him a stinking, long-haired, hippie Jew instead of the “Son of God”.

  90. JonathanL says

    If they want hedge their bet on this they could add a secondary prayer that if it’s sunny then maybe someone up front could have a really shiney watch and the sunlight reflecting off it would keep getting in Obama’s eyes. Or perhaps there could be a breeze that would keep ruffling his notes or a bee could fly around him. Really, in the end your options are almost endless when you seek to use your god’s ‘powers’ for juvenile ends.

  91. clinteas says

    @ 109 :

    //These people do not even deserve to be called “Christians”. They are Yahwists, dedicated to the tribal god of the ancient Hebrews. They love vengance and punishment and the like. They care nothing for mercy, love, peace, etc. – you know, all those things that Jesus talked about.//

    Not really true christians,hey? AYUP !

  92. Pygmy Loris says

    But the thing they should pray for is a gang of bears, forty or so. Not the ravening child-killing bears of the Old Testament, but flaming poisonous inside-out bears falling from the skies!

    Thanks Masks of Eris. I just got coffee all over my computer screen :)

  93. the strangest brew says

    Pretty sure that making a joke…even half seriously…involving their deity to do their dirty work for them is rather going against the spirit of the thing Jebus will not be best pleased with these sunbeams for invoking his dad in political shenanigans…

    If they cannot take prayer seriously then why should they be treated as serious Christians?
    It is even admitted that it is a wishful thinking.

    “Sure it’s boyish humor perhaps to wish for something like that”

    Means that they have no debating skill…or no hope…!

  94. JoJo says

    [stolen from a now-defunct webcomic]

    My favorite one was the bit about taking the Lord’s name in vain. It was very clever. When I was little I looked up vain in the dictionary. I found out it meant either to use something in an improper manner or else to do something with absolutely no effect and to no avail. Both of these definitions made sense. Not only the “don’t blaspheme” idea but the other one. God was saying “Okay, you can call on me but only if it’s really important. Don’t bug me unless you really have to because I swear if you bother me for no reason I am sending you to Hell.” I realized God was very clever slipping that one in. God screens calls

  95. True Bob says

    Farb, as I understand it, FoF routinely issues orders to their prayer warriors, so they know what to whine about to magic sky daddy. Whether it’s in the babble or not is irrelevant, as it’s an unsuitable guide to behavior, what with inconsistency and all.

  96. Farb says

    @#113, #115

    My Saviour Is A Political Dirty Trickster may be a bumper sticker slogan whose time has come. I heartily recommend its display in and around Colorado Springs.

    I’d even bet some wouldn’t get the implications, and embrace the concept as advocacy for their peculiar vision of deity.

    Or, how about it’s immediate corollary:

    Lee Atwater/Karl Rove/Steve Schmidt Sinned For Your Deaths

  97. Charlie Foxtrot says

    Australia’s own bible-bashing politico looney, the Rev. Fred Nile always calls on his sheep to pray for rain during the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras. As I recall they’re batting waaaay below average… not that any rain seems to slow down the event.

  98. Qwerty says

    If it does rain and there is a flood, I am sure they’ll say is was caused by all those Stonewall Democrats* at the conventions.

    (For the homosexually challenged: The Stonewall Democrats are a group of gay, lesbian, and bisexual democrats working for change within the party. They are named after the Stonewall Inn in NYC where some history was made in 1969.)

  99. Qwerty says

    I wonder what they’ll pray to the sky guy to rain on Republican National Convention in St. Paul. With all the closet queens in the GOP, maybe they’ll pray for… What’s that song… “It’s Raining Men.”

  100. Crudely Wrott, Dayton, Ohio says

    From the (short) article: “Sure it’s boyish humor perhaps to wish for something like that, but at the same time it’s something people feel very strongly about. They’re concerned about where he would take the nation,” said Shepard.

    It is exactly this kind of over-the-back-yard-fence schmoozing that drives me absolutely mad! I had always expected that such mutual masturbation would be pointed out as the comedy that it is but, no; it’s good copy. Too valuable to waste. What gets me is that supposedly educated and well informed people will pull this silly shit (thanks to the help provided by the frantic news agencies) and then look me square in the eye and expect me to accept it under the auspices of their “penetrating insight and mastery of subtleties.” Ha! I am not impressed. Sadly, many are.

  101. Amplexus says

    That’s it! I’m through with this shit. I’m filing a formal complaint with the IRS against Focus on the Family. They are opposing the proceedings of the Democratic National Convention and doing so is show preference for one political party over another.

    Dear godless hordes,

    Please follow suit(pun intended)
    Complain to get this organization’s tax exemption revoked. They have an operation budget of $48 Million annually. Having to pay taxes will cripple their ability to interfere with the political process.

  102. RedGreenInBlue says

    Bear with me a minute while I think this through from the point of view of a religious person, who believes that prayer is not just a form of meditation, but actually a request for a tangible outcome which would not otherwise have occurred (which I think fairly describes many religious believers’ attitude to prayer.)

    1. If God had an overarching plan for everything, then ultimate outcomes would not be altered by prayer.

    2. Yet I know (and am assured by my minister) that God listens to my prayers and sometimes, though not always, answers them, which means that sometimes he is willing to alter his plan.

    3. Millions of other people are similarly praying to God, and not all those prayers will be consistent with mine.

    4. Therefore, if a prayer of mine is not answered, this could be either because God didn’t like my request, because more people prayed for something else and convinced God that their request was more worthy.

    5. In either case above, this means that if FoF prayers for rain at Barack Obama’s speech are not answered, then God evidently thinks his message is worth listening to, and therefore FoF members should be supporting Obama!

    QED. I think…

  103. RedGreenInBlue says

    Alternative counter-argument for FoF to consider:

    We write to our politicians (who definitely exist) about the burning issues of the day. We call them, e-mail them, and lobby them. We protest at their more ludicrous policies. What is more, we know where they live.* And most of the time it achieves next to nothing.

    So what makes you** think that an invisible, undetectable, and unelected entity with 6.5 billion fractious human constituents, let alone other species, life on other planets or in other universes, who’s been sitting on several trillion requests for world peace for centuries, really gives a damn whether you want rain at Obama’s speech, or cheaper petrol at the pumps?

    * (he says with a sinister tone of voice).
    ** i.e. FoF and the RR more generally.

  104. Tony says

    Hey you know what, prayers aren’t all that bad, even if there is no Supreme Being, as so many on this blog think, the prayers raise conscienousness and get people to work towards a particular good. So no, prayers are not really talking to oneself. think about it.
    Think? Do you expect me to THINK?

    (No, Mr. Bond – I expect you to numbly accept any mindless drivel that I feed you!)

    Hey, you know what, Tony, why not skip the non-existent middle-man? Why not use the prayer time for something other than talking to oneself? For example: Instead of praying for someone to recover from cancer, why not use that time (instead of wasting it) doing something to raise money for cancer research?

    From what I’m told, from those who beleive in this stuff, prayer is supposed to move the person praying into action to achieve that which is being prayed for.

    So if there is a God, God is supposed to work with the prayer to bring about an end, and if there isn’t a God, at least the prayer did some mental preparation for the task at hand. What I’m suggesting is that prayer is not that useless.

  105. John Morales says

    What I’m suggesting is that prayer is not that useless.

    Yeah, but some stretching excercises, for example, would actually be, you know, useful.

  106. CosmicTeapot says

    To quote Emo Phillips:

    “When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me!”

  107. Kseniya says

    Ok, Tony. I concede the not-utterly-useless point, given that I’m in favor of positive self-talk. However, you know as well as I do that many people (whether they know it or not) use prayer as an excuse not to act, for they believe praying is “doing something”.

    (And then there’s the delusional aspect… though that may be irrelevant to your point.)

  108. SEF says

    while I think this through from the point of view of a religious person

    You can’t – they don’t think. They have points of view, certainly; and they’re generally very vociferous and offensive about those. However, they don’t actually arrive at those points of view by thinking as such; more by emoting and fantasising wildly. Hence it isn’t really possible for anyone sane to construct a logical train of thought and then reasonably expect a fundy to follow it, regardless of how closely its original premises matched their claimed ones.

  109. says

    I’m praying for flaming bears, not because I don’t like Obama, but because that would be friggin’ awesome.

    p.s. Please don’t hurt the bears, God; in your infinite power and wisdom I bet you can rig them up with some of that fireproofing jazz that movie stuntpeople use.

  110. SEF says

    Hmm… stunt bears? People in bear costumes? Or a shipment of stuffed toy teddy-bears which just happened to have been caught up in a freak whirlwind and then caught fire on the way back down, perhaps via some ball lightning or by crossing paths with a firework display.