Well, at least you might think this was my mission statement if you were an incoherent, demented kook, anyway.
(Hat tip to Bay of Fundie)
Hey! They stole my mission statement!
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Wow, how’d they know it was a tentacled being that would poison the earth?
And all along, we thought it was just ink. Nope, it was super-special secular-spreading ink. Wow.
Wow! The earth was born from the beak a giant blue octopus after all! Thought so. I always knew the Great Arklesiezure theory of creation was bobbins.
I tried to read the kooky bits but calling an ancient city a harlot and being completely deaf to modern ethics and psychology just made it too painful.
That squid/octo thing is going to be awfully chilly up in space like that. Why can’t secularism be a tree or an elephant perched gently on the world.
I like the definition “Faith is the assurance of what is not”.
The world-engulfing ink is symbolic. It represents PZ’s atheistic writing. Beware!
…I think the octopus is cute.
With squid ink no doubt.
The mean secular octopus even squeezed the earth until it was no longer round! I KNEW those NASA photos were faked!
I notice the Earth is not a globe. Could they possibly be a flat earther too? I’d go and look more closely but the website hurts my lonely, bitter, god rejecting mind. :D
Rhabdomerically.
And of course that site has to give parenting advice, like this:
And this:
And this:
I myself much prefer “the wine of the passion of her immorality” to the kool-aid of “hey, let me show you how to beat your kids to death without your neighbors calling CPS! It’s godly!”
These people make me sick. If that’s morality, bring me another case of the Pinot Immorality Noir, 6,000,000 glasses and a gross of corkscrews, please.
Judging from the picture, I’d argue that the giant octopus of secularism merely poisons a map. Robinson projection perhaps?
I thought maps were already pretty secular. Except the ones with “dragons be here” on them, which are awesome in their own way.
Isn’t it nice that it’s a happy squid though. Happily inking the world.
The guy’s linguistic knowledge is wack. Imperfective tense? Guy doesn’t know his tense from his aspect. Only a linguist would catch that. That’s why I’m here. Glad I could help.
Look how eerily similar the head of the squid/octopus is to the shape of the Earth…..
…maybe the giant space squid is just looking for a partner…. or a mate.
Upon first loading the page, I thought you were offering a new Pharyngula blog T-shirt design!
I have to agree with the sentiments, it’s a real shame Babylon 5 got the chop.
God is able to save (6b)
Sure the bugger can save, with all that cash that it gets from the televangelists & the faithful.
And another thing! That octopus sits atop a flat Earth. The wholly bile book says that the Earth is flat, so these idiots are at least consistent in that regard, but anyone with a properly functioning brain knows better.
Maybe it’s a kiddy pool.
I might be wrong, but opposing a secular state is only useful if you plan on dominating the country with your particular brand of religion. It seems like the best way to identify yourself as a dangerous cultist.
Do these fundies even understand what secularism is, because it is secularism that allows them to hold their loony ideas. If they want religion to be an integral part of the government they may just find that their particular beliefs are condemned as blasphemy, heresy, and treason, with the power of the state to ‘correct’ them of their errors. Or are they just that dumb that it doesn’t occur to them?
Lack of god damn. I just finished the “how to beat your kids” section.
And what should we beat the baby with?
And don’t bother with that sissy ‘time-out’ stuff. Go straight to ‘the rod’.
What a sick fuck. Is this kind of thing common?
The weird thing is that he justifies beating kids because ‘god chastises his children’. Did god ever beat him on the hands with a piece of plastic pipe?
OH Knows ! Seclarism creating a level playing field for all religious idea’s and opinions. Truly the hand of Satan himself is at work. To bad being that one true message from one true almighty God couldn’t defeat the inferior man made philosophies.
Is Babylonia what a paragon of secularism looks like then? Good job it finally fell to the Persians, those mighty christian warriors, some six hundred years before christianity started. Hohum.
All hail Marduk, God of Secularism…I guess… Oo
So I take it from this picture that we secularists are like the Sherwin Williamses of the ideology world…
(…as if there’s an Abrahamic faith that doesn’t claim the right to “Cover the Earth”…)
Anti-secularism: what could possible go wrong?
“Choose to discipline in private places that absorb sound. If you live in apartments, flats or condos, choose the room away from the halls and with more insulation like a rug. You might cover an air vent for the brief moment. Walk-in closets are great”
Holy Crap!(both figuratively and literally)
I can’t imagine what kind of discipline needs to be handled in an insulated room. We have two active young boys. People in public are usually impressed when they see us discipline them–you know…patience…consequence of their action…the 4-part apology (enough to make any young kid behave)…and of course, “no” always means “no”.
An oldie…
http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2007/10/talk-to-tentacle.html
I may have to borrow their picture as an illustration, though…
Oh, the cephalopods have their Octopus Gods,
With tentacles stronger than steel,
Who have taken down ships with their powerful grips
And made many a sailor a meal.
…
If you find an appeal in an octopus meal–
Say, for sushi you’ve got a real itch–
The cephalopods have their Octopus Gods
And I’m telling you, payback’s a bitch.
Wait, they’re giving parenting advice AND quoting Revelation 14?
If you’re a parent you are going to hell for being “defiled with women”, so why sweat it?
Oh, and here’s a helpful HOWTO for propagandists: Generic Octopus Propaganda Art
It is oh-so-apparent that this statement was written by someone who has never set foot in battle (or, in context of the whole page, grammar class, either).
While a good deal of soldiers are very religious and hold their faith seriously dear to their heart, see what happens if you make them choose either pure trust in God and the option of wearing their body armor before going outside the wire. While the soldiers who believe will not go out with both, given the dichotomy they are rational enough to know which of them is more immediately requisite.
My favorite passage from the site:
“Psalm 20 is rare in that it so commonly speaks of God. There is no doubts of it.”
LOVE the Charlie Chan-speak.
Cuttlefish —
I eat calamari when I want to party,
And the cephalopods gods go be damned.
I have the answer should they come to dance here:
Kirk Douglas with a harpoon in hand!
Kirk got all emo on that sub run by Nemo
and killed him one honking big squid.
Ever since then, this prince among men
is the archtype of how squids are rid.
Just hand him a spear when the beaked ones appear
And he’ll brandish it madly about,
Odds are that soon with his waving harpoon
He’ll poke the ‘Pussies eyes out!
That octopus could be misconstrued as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The text is a little obtuse, but we’re the Babylonians right? The ones who get the wine? Woo hoo — party over here with the secularists!
Foundations of Freedom?
I thought the point they were trying to make is that G-d’s ‘instruction’ is unconditional and immutable, and violable only on pain of death. Doesn’t sound much like “freedom”.
@#11, #22:
I’m calling Poe’s law. (At least, I really hope it’s a parody…)
All glory to the glorious Five-Year Plan! We shall exceed it!
I think comment 38 has a point.
@ #38
Beat me to it. I really, really hope that it’s parody.
CEILING OCTOPUS CREATEZ THE WURLD
ERF GOOD! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
I’M IN UR ATMOSFEER, POIZONING UR PLANNIT
O HAI! HAZ U SEEN MAI OCTOPUS? IZ VERY VERY BIG!
Hm, I have to wonder why they make secularism look so cute and innocuous. Sorry, the green eyes won’t exactly make it appear fearsome and wicked, and hovering indecisively over the earth like that is hardly menacing–it doesn’t even look like earth and the octopus are in connected space.
Leaving that aside now, the text is definitely referring to a kind of religious power (Rome), at least religious to John the Revelator’s mind, not to secularism at all.
It’s kind of tough manipulating the “Word of God” to scare the flock into fearing secularism, since the Bible doesn’t predict it at all. Yet the Bible is supposed to tell the future, thus one just tweaks the text, puts a cute cephalopod in association with it, and does what Babylon itself is purported to do, deceives the people.
Same old, I know. What’s amazing is that they never get any better at it no matter how hard they try, meaning that Expelled is just a glossier version of this sad attempt to make secularism appear menacing.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7
I think in that one the earth looks like a Gonatus onyx brood sac.
I call anti-Semitism. It’s obviously a reference to standard early-20th century political cartooning, where the octopus symbolized (take your pick) Jewish financiers or Jewish Bolsheviks. (Because, um, Jews control the banks in order to make us godless Communists, or something…)
[And I might add, as a side note, the whole Darwin-Holocaust connection only makes intuitive sense if you already believe that Jews are a “less-favored race.”]
David (#22) quoted from obscene website: It is essential that you start training [read: beating] your child when he is a baby. This will enable you to gain the child’s respect your ‘no’ very early This will not eliminate the need for chastisement, but it will greatly limit it.
Like hell it does! It makes you fear and loath them – does nothing to earn a child’s respect. I can say that from personal experience. I literally hated my parents by the time I left home at sixteen. I hated their religion even more.
Again from the obscene website: “The rod is a little branch of a tree, sometimes called a switch. Rulers break. They cost money. Switches have a nice swoosh sound. One can use it softly with a tinge of pain or rather strongly, depending on the situation. Get a switch that bends easily not an old hardened or heavy one. Using plastic tubing does the same job.
I hate to disappoint this guy, but tree switches can and will leave lacerations if the strike is hard enough, which really isn’t as hard as some people think. They can be worse than a belt or razor strap if you get one thin and pliable enough. It would be just like using a short, thin whip.
My kids were exposed to religion, but they were rarely ever in a church. None of them ever go that I know of. My grandkids don’t go either but they’ve been exposed to this disease as well. I wonder if some scientist somewhere will develop an innoculation for the religious bacteria that infects the minds of human beings, or at least come up with something that alleviates the symptoms of religious exposure – something that can be easily supplied through the water systems, like chlorine and flouride?
Someone should really put a clamp on this cat’s balls…
What a fucking jerk…
David said: “What a sick fuck. Is this kind of thing common?”
Moreso than many people probably realize. You’d be surprised what a child can keep suppressed when it fears for it’s own safety. When and where I was growing up, this attitude was fairly mainstream. Sucks, don’t it?
Can’t we sick some child advocacy group, or other organization on him? Maybe get him arrested or severely fined for promoting child abuse?
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO EXPLOIT THE OCTOPUS FOR THEIR GAIN? HOW DARE THEY!!!
Man, I *so* want that as a bumper sticker!
Looks like either Kang or Kodos to me. I never can tell those two things apart!
Just to be safe, however, I, for one, welcome our octopus-like overlords.
Speeding through the page, at first I was wondering why PZ posted an image of Sherman-Williams logo. You know, the one of the can of paint being poured over the globe. “Secularism! It covers the world!” Or would that be “Sherman-Williams! It poisons the world!” All that goddamned lead paint.
From the obscene website again: “What does Mommy do when the baby cries? Does she always pamper the baby or sometimes allow the baby to cry when only seeking attention?”
Of all the child-demeaning quips I heard growing up, and as a parent, this is the one I hated second most. I always picked my babies up when they cried. I always figured if the baby was crying it was relaying that something was wrong with it. What damn difference does it make if the problem is emotional and not physical? I spent countless hours with an infant or a toddler in my lap or under my feet (unless I was cooking). I nursed all of them, so I would often sit and read, crochet, or write while they fed. It was a wonderful experience! And daddy was always there in the middle of it when he wasn’t out in the field playing soldier boy.
It is the way you coddle them that makes a difference. They eventually get bored with you and look for something else to catch their interest. Of course, if the child is throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store isle, you take them out to the car and set them straight. You don’t have to beat them to do that. You just have to be clever. Children are a lot more aware of what goes on around them than they are given credit for. The saying I hated most though was that “Children should be seen, but not heard.”
As far as the bribing of children vs the admonishment of children – What is wrong with incentives? I paid my kids an allowance for doing their chores. They got paid up to a specific amount each week according to their job performance. If their performance was lacking they forfeited a certain percent of their allowance based on how bad said performace was rated. This was governed by a daily point scale. The difference between what they did get and what they would have gotten with a high point value went into another kitty. This was the one I kept so I could come home from work one weekend evening and tell them that if the house is completely clean by eight o’clock I’d take them to get a burger or tacos and then go to the movies, bowling alley, arcade, skating rink, etc. It always worked so sinfully well.
And I truly despise this inhumane BDSM prick…
But… but… but the octopus is so CUTE!
Look at those big eyes. It just wants to make friends with the Earth!
Very, very good friends.
Seriously, though. These guys can’t even get their graphics right. When making a bilious propaganda cartoon with an evil octopus spreading its tentacles across the world, it is essential that the octopus look menacing… not like a character on SpongeBob.
Muffin (#38) said: “I’m calling Poe’s law. (At least, I really hope it’s a parody…)
Keep hoping really hard that it is a parody. Because whether it is or not, the website clearly promotes “closeted” child abuse, and if I’m not mistaken, that just might fall in the realms of the laws regarding the exploitation of children. Besides, if everybody hopes hard enough that it is a parody, perhaps everybody will feel better about having it going on, sight unseen and voice unheard, in their midst. If it is a parody, it’s not the least bit funny. Not in the least.
It sure does have a familiar ring to it…
Squid Ink FAIL!
Secularism is awful, yes. Much better to have a thousand splinter sects fighting with each other. Yeah, much better.
#53 I agree.
Are these the people http://www.virtualglobaltaskforce.com/
or would it be better to refer to a local child protection agency first?
… anyway for what it’s worth I’ve forwarded the link to a friend who works in child protection in the UK.
Just looking at the graphic Pee Zed included in his post, I feel kindof sorry for teh tentacled one. Here’s this cute example of the Lessor Giant Space Octothingy minding its own business drifting near Olde Sol for a bit of a holiday, and Wack!, it gets a whopping great dirty green and blue planet right in the beak. I know I’d be rather pissed (perhaps in more ways than one when on vacation?), and would at least think about poisoning… for instance, the nasties crawling all over the surface seem to own the place, and clearly depend on CO2 in the air, so sneakily remove some and watch ’em shiver! Baaaahhhahahahaha!!!
I note a donation button on the main page of the site in question. Do we have a case of copyright infringement?
delurking:
Great, now I want a Fruity Oaty Bar and there aren’t any in this solar system…
relurking
HP, #44 above – I agree with you, I was going to say it, too. It’s using cutesy, Disney-esque images, but the historical anti-Semitic reference they’re riffing on is definitely there.
Christianity and Fascist regimes had and continue to have a close relationship.
So secularism is a cephalopod.
I’ve always suspected as much….