Those crazy Vermonters


A couple of small towns in Vermont passed an unenforceable law to declare Bush and Cheney criminals. I like it. Personally, I favor something more like Megan’s Law, in which Bush and Cheney would forever after be required to register with local law authorities where ever they go, with their names, photographs, addresses, and a list of their offenses made public. (I’m actually not a big fan of Megan’s Laws, but if we’re going to publicly track one kind of monster, I think far more wicked monsters should be subject to the same penalties.)

Comments

  1. Anon says

    I envision a modern version of the “George Washington Slept Here” signs…

    … incorporating the biohazard symbol.

  2. mdowe says

    Why bother with all that legal mumbo jumbo at all? Just make up some label for them akin to ‘unlawful combants’, send them off to Gitmo, and hold them there indefinately. Too ruthless? Ok, tell them they can go free once they have worked off their contribution to the national debt.

  3. phantomreader42 says

    mdowe @ #2:

    Why bother with all that legal mumbo jumbo at all? Just make up some label for them akin to ‘unlawful combants’, send them off to Gitmo, and hold them there indefinately.

    Constitutionally speaking, only Congress can declare war.

    As Bush and Cheney led us to war without such a formal declaration thereof by Congress, they did so in violation of the Constitution.

    As the Constitution is the supreme law of the land, this means they did so unlawfully.

    As war is a form of combat, this makes them “unlawful combatants”.

    So, no need for a new term. :P

  4. says

    Clinton gets impeached over oral sex — Bush and/or Cheney: seize an election, give gigantic tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans, work for (not with) Big Oil, put tax dollars into church pockets, ignore terror warnings, reads “My Pet Goat” instead of responding to terror attacks, retaliates against the right country and the wrong one (while not planning for either), drags its feet intentionally while soldiers are off fighting, hands HUGE contracts to Cheney’s former company who mishandle funds and “lose” BILLIONS with no accountability, is so secretive the National Archives complains, issues signing statements like they were mandatory, expands presidential power beyond its intended boundaries, honors loyalty over skill and experience, let Alberto Gonzalez deny that US Citizens have the right to habeas corpus, reserved federal funds for “abstinence-only” “education”, condoned torture, illegally wiretapped domestically, changed “the buck stops here” to “get the fuck outta here”, delayed/impeded the 9/11 Commission Investigation (only agreeing to testify if they could do it “together” and the transcript be immediately classified) and SO MUCH MORE, yet our “representatives” refuse to even censure either man. Absolutely bat-shit insane.

    Had to keep the list of offenses short for fear of sounding as if I were about to rant about the asexual arectum gods.

    On Megan’s Law: no matter what the crime, if you’ve finished your time in prison and completed parole/probation, etc. then you have completed your obligation and should be free to carry on with your life without having to register as an offender.

  5. Hank Fox says

    Perp walk! I want a perp walk!

    Handcuffs, orange jumpsuits, the works.

    They could sell videos of the booking procedure. (“Bend over and spread your cheeks, Mr. Cheney.”)

    I have a faint memory of something from National Lampoon (I think it was), about Nixon and Agnew on the run after Watergate, Nixon being cornered in a cheap motel by federal agents and defiantly screaming “Fuckers!” before going down in a hail of gunfire.

    If only.

  6. Thanny says

    I’m ambivalent about Megan’s Law. One the one hand, I think someone who was convicted and served time for something like child rape should definitely have a cow bell.

    On the other hand, they’ve so broadened the law that an 18 year-old boy who has sex with his 16 year-old girlfriend, and is convicted of statutory rape (itself a dubious law), has to register as a sex offender. That’s just ridiculous.

    On the original topic, I’ve been calling Bush and Cheney criminals for years. I knew Bush would be disastrous before he was first elected, and am surprised only by the extent of the damage he’s done.

  7. Reginald Selkirk says

    would forever after be required to register with local law authorities where ever they go, with their names, photographs, addresses…

    The repeated use of undisclosed location might get tedious.

  8. says

    If nothing else, it’d make organizing protests against them a whole lot easier. However, in practice, things like Megan’s Laws had a good purpose with a terrible outcome. Community reaction to said offenders typically pushes them to hide or violate the orders, since they’re typically harassed, attacked, or forced out of any community.

    And the width of the term “sexual offender” goes past the heinous crimes into things like public urination (in some states) and kids being dumb. A case in Nebraska was prosecuting two kids that were both underage and decided to videotape themselves. Having sex was legal, but making the tape made it production and distribution of child porn…

  9. Alexandra says

    Constitutionally speaking, only Congress can declare war.

    As Bush and Cheney led us to war without such a formal declaration thereof by Congress, they did so in violation of the Constitution.

    As the Constitution is the supreme law of the land, this means they did so unlawfully.

    As war is a form of combat, this makes them “unlawful combatants”.

    Not that I would want to defend Bushco or the invasion in any way, shape or form, but that particular line of attack isn’t valid. See the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 Congress passed in Oct. ’02, see also Doe v Bush. Now if you want to talk legality under international law you might be on to something a bit more supportable.

  10. Lilly de Lure says

    Perp walk! I want a perp walk!

    Personally I’m thinking the stocks. At the scene of the crime, naturally.

    However since the crime scene in question happens to be pretty much all of the landmass of the continental US, Guantanimo Bay and the entire Country of Iraq I’m thinking a city by city tour of the relevant Countries would be fairest.

    Hell we could even make it a charity gala – how much would you pay to throw rotten fruit at Bush and Cheney?

  11. Denis Loubet says

    Thanny said:
    “On the original topic, I’ve been calling Bush and Cheney criminals for years. I knew Bush would be disastrous before he was first elected, and am surprised only by the extent of the damage he’s done.”

    How little or how much? :-(

  12. Ms. Anne Thrope says

    “how much would you pay to throw rotten fruit at Bush and Cheney?”

    Now we’re talking! At only a dollar a throw, this venture alone could eliminate “Baby Doc” Bush’s deficit, *and* pay off the USA’s national debt.

  13. Dave Eaton says

    Constitutionally speaking, only Congress can declare war.

    Yup. Yet congress has been busy giving away or ignoring its constitutional authority/duty for quite a while now.

    Hank: I think I remember that. I was just old enough to be amused by some of National Lampoon and befuddled by other parts of it.

    Thing is, nobody at the level of Nixon or Bush is ‘going down’. There’s just too many people they’d take with them. They can be run out of office (or they could in the olden days, when embarrassment still existed). There would be blood all around. There just aren’t enough Congresscritters that aren’t eye-deep in manure to make it possible to ‘get’ a bad president on many things without an insider, something much less likely to happen since Nixon.

    I always have this vision of an impeachment hearing that runs like one of the Robert Smigel cartoons on SNL. Imagining Bush or Cheney answering questions from a congress member, with dueling tap-dancing skeletons from both the accused and the interrogators emerging from closets and under tables…

    A pox on the lot.

  14. xebecs says

    Personally I’m thinking the stocks. At the scene of the crime, naturally.

    Now that’s a stock bubble I can support!

  15. Rey Fox says

    Ah, but you’re both wrong. The Nixon shootout was in The Onion’s Our Dumb Century. “Do you know who you’re dealing with? I’m Dick Fucking Nixon!”

  16. Hank Fox says

    Rey Fox is right. It was The Onion’s “Our Dumb Century.”

    I couldn’t find it anywhere online, but here are the headlines:

    NIXON ARRESTED IN CONNECTION
    WITH WATERGATE BREAK-IN
    President Handcuffed, Taken to Prison in Oval Office Bust

    NIXON ESCAPES
    President Kills Two, Wounds
    Six in Stunning Jailbreak

    FEDS GUN DOWN NIXON OUTSIDE ARIZONA MOTEL
    FBI Agents Bring Down Fugitive President in Hail of Gunfire

  17. David Marjanović, OM says

    before going down in a hail of gunfire.
    If only.

    Most definitely not. I want to know what they knew and when they knew it.

    Now we’re talking! At only a dollar a throw, this venture alone could eliminate “Baby Doc” Bush’s deficit, *and* pay off the USA’s national debt.

    One such post a week, and you shall have a Molly nomination in 1 or 2 months.

  18. David Marjanović, OM says

    before going down in a hail of gunfire.
    If only.

    Most definitely not. I want to know what they knew and when they knew it.

    Now we’re talking! At only a dollar a throw, this venture alone could eliminate “Baby Doc” Bush’s deficit, *and* pay off the USA’s national debt.

    One such post a week, and you shall have a Molly nomination in 1 or 2 months.

  19. WTFWJD says

    There is a federal statute (which precedes the Patriot Act) against making war against the United States, and every state, I think, has a law against making war against that state, and as has been amply demonstrated, Congress need play no role in deciding who is an enemy combatant, so Vermonters are free to decide on their own.

    As has also been amply demonstrated, it is perfectly legal to violate a nation’s sovereignty and borders by sneaking agents inside, kidnapping a target, and carrying him off. Since neither national sovereignty nor borders need be respected, internal authorities and boundaries have no legal force in extraordinary rendition either.

    Therefore, it would be completely legal for Vermonters to kidnap the entire US Executive and take them to foreign prisons for waterboarding.

    That’s the thing about precedents: you can’t unset a precedent.

  20. caynazzo says

    So it’s going to be the sheriffs dept versus the Treasury Dept (secret service). Kudos to the ballsy deputy who serves that warrant.

    This sounds like a job for “Dog” the bounty hunter.

  21. Ian says

    The ironic thing here is that bills of attainder like this one are also unconstitutional. I think that restriction only applies to Congress, but still…

  22. paul lurquin says

    I’m proud to announce to the world that my home town, Cannon Beach, OR, has voted over one month ago to impeach Bush and Cheney. They will not be put under arrest if they visit, though.

  23. Ichthyic says

    (“Bend over and spread your cheeks, Mr. Cheney.”)

    Oh, now that’s a disturbing image.

    There goes lunch.

  24. says

    (“Bend over and spread your cheeks, Mr. Cheney.”)
    Oh, now that’s a disturbing image.
    There goes lunch.

    Lunch, hell. I think I now want to marry a woman.

  25. c-serpent says

    “Bend over and spread your cheeks, Mr. Cheney.”

    Gee, maybe they’d find his head – or Paul Wolfowitz.

  26. Kseniya says

    Gee, maybe they’d find …

    LOL @ all y’all!

    Wow! What a menu we have here tonight!

    I think I’ll pick the… uh… lessee… Yes, I’ll have a delicious helping of “There’s no need to be offended by the implication that you, being a woman and all, are only marginally more attractive than Dick Cheney’s exhaust pipe.”

    LOL! 8-D

    [Don’t worry J. – I’m with ya!]