The Great Game


I have heard a rumor that tomorrow there will be some strange game called the “superbowl” going on … I don’t know who is playing, I won’t be watching, and I really don’t care who wins, so I think I’ll just root for the Toronto Maple Leafs, if that’s all right. But I did discover another fun game that could be played.

The NFL doesn’t like it when churches show the Superbowl on big screen TVs for their congregations (which is actually kind of a strange thing for churches to promote, anyway.) Maybe atheists should cruise their neighborhoods and rat out any churches that violate the rules.

Not to be nasty about it, though. I don’t care about the Superbowl, but a matchup between the forces of American Foo’bawl and American Evangelical Christianity … that would be an exceptionally interesting contest, especially since it would probably lead to open warfare in places like Texas.

(hat tip to RPM

Comments

  1. Zeph says

    I feel like I’ve gone my whole life without meeting someone who doesn’t watch the colossal bore that is the Superbowl, and doesn’t even watch it for the pointless blithering commercials. that said, how does a large group of people watching the same tv shrink ratings? I was under the impression that ratings stemmed from the Nielsen ratings which are derived from houses that are specifically monitored. I have yet to meet a single “Nielsen Family” in my entire life, so how does a bunch of people (who were never contributing to the method of calculating “ratings” to begin with) gathering in the same location to watch the Superbowl lower the ratings?? am I missing something?

  2. says

    I have never watched a Superbowl — or any football game, for that matter. I don’t care and I’m unwillingly to pretend to care just to fit in. No doubt some of my students will be gushing with comments on Monday and will be stunned into incredulity when they discover I didn’t watch the game.

    We asportual males are a rare breed.

  3. isabelita says

    I have never had any interest in the stuporbowls, except for that vivid image of Janet Jackson and Justin Timbertoes a few years ago; I did catch Prince’s hilariously ribald and suggestive performance last year, since my 89 year old mother was watching the game. Remember his shadow play with the neck of his guitar?! Priceless!
    I dunno, seems there are some intersections of church folks and football players; lots of them pray for help during the game.

  4. CalGeorge says

    Self-stupefaction is the national pastime.

    We sit in our barcaloungers, anaesthetizing ourselves with beer while staring at flickering light on a (humongous) screen and pretending that it all means something.

    Boredom alleviated.

    Problems forgotten.

    Corporate bullshit absorbed.

    Sheeplehood achieved.

  5. Gobear says

    Now, now, there’s no need to mock folks for liking football. (Pats supporter here)

    And as useless as religious institutions are, I’m on their side in this matter; the NFL is abusing American copyright law by claiming that their copyright to televised games and the Super Bowl in particular is being infringed by churches that charge admission to Super Bowl parties (However, the cost is only charged to defray the cost of drinks and snacks for the viewers) and the NFL has even claimed the right to ban free public viewings.

    The NFL hasn’t shown that they have been materially injured by church Super Bowl viewings, and IMO their claims to regulate how and where the game may be watched is an unjust usurpation of the rights of citizens by a greedy corporation.

    The above is not to be construed as an endorsement of religion or churches in any way. I’m just saying that the right of people to watch the game in churches outranks the spurious claims of copyright infringement by the NFL.

    Go Pats! WHOOOO!

  6. Bruce says

    It’s not just churches. Theatres in the Boston area wanted to show it on big-screen and were admonished not to by NFL. Sports-bars have probably paid off NFL.

    Awhile ago, my local police station showed the Toy Story home video as a kind of community outreach thing, and I remember watching the licensing admonition float past, and briefly thought about turning in the local police to the copyright police (I didn’t, I gotta live here.)

    Well, if you do violate the copyright law, the FBI will be after you, and will get you just as surely as they have gotten Osama Bin-Laden and Whitey Bulger.

  7. says

    Well, if you do violate the copyright law, the FBI will be after you, and will get you just as surely as they have gotten Osama Bin-Laden and Whitey Bulger.

    Well, the RIAA does have a much more powerful constituency than 9/11 victims or a few dozen dead Bostonians.

  8. freelunch says

    Toronto Maple Leafs.

    My favorite hockey team, but the hockey gods still hate them for voting for expansion from the original six.

  9. Andy James says

    That is a fantastic idea.

    Copywrite? whats that? Nothing in the bible about copywrites.

    Tell that to the judge, jackass.

  10. dougie smooth says

    Don’t be such a dick, PZ. Religion is a plenty big cudgel in itself; there’s no need to beat them up with half-serious associations to any old thing you don’t personally like.

  11. says

    Unlike the Bushite IRS, the NFL see the church as a business and treats it as such. If this is a mega-uber-church, this will be a money maker and the NFL wants the business to do what is proper under the law. Too many years of looking the other way on church issues has given these folks the go-ahead on lots of stuff. No taxes, having the Civil Rights Div of DOJ suing zoning boards on behalf of churches, no oversight on faith-based boondoggles, exemption on all harassment/civil rights rules, and no RICO prosecution for Catholic priests.

  12. David Denning says

    Religion, on a local level, is basically about building community by gathering people together to accept irrational ideas without thinking much about them, and then contribute money to maintain church infrastructure and the lifestyles of church leaders. Of course many, if not most, church groups do positive things for their communities and some even do great things for society on a wider scale (converting people to christianity in other countries NOT being one of them), but “doing good things in social groups” is a natural consequence of cultural evolution and not, in any way, exclusive to religion.
    What better way to get people together for thoughtless social bonding than a big screen superbowl session. I’d bet some church leaders salivate at the prospect. More opportunities for “building church community”. Do they pass the collection plate at these sessions? I do wonder though, if these church leaders might object to a replay of the 1984 Apple Macintosh “Big Brother” ad.

  13. Gingerbaker says

    I’ll start going to church when one of them can actually let me view tomorrows SuperBowl game today.

  14. The Vicar says

    It’s not just churches. Theatres in the Boston area wanted to show it on big-screen and were admonished not to by NFL. Sports-bars have probably paid off NFL.

    Nope, you’ve just forgotten the business model. The NFL does not make money by selling their broadcasts to you, the viewer. They make money by selling you, the viewer, (in the form of advertising space) to companies.

    They don’t care about sports bars because sports bars aren’t going to try anything fancy. They’re just going to turn on the TVs and let them play. The advertisements play, and the advertisers feel that their investments are safe. More safe than usual, even, because it’s easier to make a bad argument (i.e. advertise) to someone who is drunk.

    But a church or a theater might decide that advertisements should be muted, or blocked out entirely, as a service to the people who are paying to get in. (And besides, a sexy advertisement might be less effective in a place that makes a business of being “family-friendly”. A bar doesn’t have that problem.) The advertisers don’t like that one bit, and think of putting their money elsewhere.

    That makes the NFL want to stop theaters and churches, but not bars. Since they can’t broadcast selectively, their only approach has to be a legal threat, and the only even remotely plausible claim they can make is that a deliberate mass showing is a violation of copyright. (That’s a weak claim, but they’re hoping that the churches and theaters won’t aggressively call their bluff.)

  15. Kerry Maxwell says

    Sports-bars have probably paid off NFL.

    When the churches start buying as much advertising during superbowls as the beer companies do, maybe they’ll stop getting complaints from NFL too.

  16. Dustin says

    We sit in our barcaloungers, anaesthetizing ourselves with beer while staring at flickering light on a (humongous) screen and pretending that it all means something.

    Bread and Circuses. Only, instead of a violin, Bush has a guitar.

  17. Kerry Maxwell says

    Oh yeah – All youse guys that don’t like football are freakin’ HOMOS [smashes imaginary beer can against forehead, and belly bumps his imaginary buddies]

    ;)

  18. says

    The reason churches (generally megachurches) show football games is because they know it’s just about the only way they’ll get most white males into a church. The megachurch pastors have done marketing studies — that’s why they dropped things like singing (which most men hate to do) and tried to make church more like taking your kids to an amusement park.

  19. Julie Stahlhut says

    When we lived in Massachusetts, my husband and I loved Super Bowl Sunday, because we would go night skiing at Wachusett Mountain and the lift lines would be short.

    When are people going to wise up and turn against the global scam that is big-league sport? It has nothing to do with hometown pride, fan support, or honest athleticism. It has everything to do with greed, marketing hype, encouraging fans to develop couch-potato lifestyles, gouging taxpayers to cough up for the phallic stadium fetishes of already-rich owners, and creating more and more dimwitted celebrities whose divorces and jail sentences make the front pages and displace real news stories. And big college sports aren’t any better.

    For folks who really do love sports: Turn off the stupid NFL and support a high school or small-college football team. Attend minor-league baseball games close to home. Volunteer to coach a kids’ basketball or track or hockey club. Or go out and do something active yourself. You don’t have to be a star, and it’ll be good for your health.

  20. jeff says

    The reason churches (generally megachurches) show football games is because they know it’s just about the only way they’ll get most white males into a church

    Then why don’t they show x-rated movies? After all, sex is supposed to be one of God’s most wonderful creations. Football is mostly large men beating the crap out of each other. Doesn’t seem very jesus-like.

  21. says

    Americans have the most bizarre churches in the world. I always thought so, but this certainly confirms it.

    And PZ, given where you live, I think you should be cheering for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. ;)

  22. says

    Football is mostly large men beating the crap out of each other. Doesn’t seem very jesus-like.

    Posted by: jeff |

    I dunno, they could pretend the other team are pharisees. ;)

  23. says

    I couldn’t care less about American Professional Sports, I’ve successfully gone about 25 years or so without watching a single game of any sport on TV, and have only gone otherwise because my dad used to take us to baseball games occasionally when I was younger. Sorry, watching a bunch of whiny, over-paid sweaty guys throw balls at each other isn’t my cup of tea.

    If it floats your boat, fine by me, but I find it boring in the extreme. If I want to see sports, I’ll go out and play with friends, at least I’m getting exercise as opposed to the lard-asses sitting on the couch yelling at the TV.

  24. Nemo says

    I loved singing in church. Only thing I liked about church, really. (I guess there was also something to be said for the Sign of Peace.) Of course, I’m asportual, so my maleness is already in question.

    Despite being an atheist (and asportual), for once I have to side with the churches, against the NFL’s gross abuse of copyright claims.

    You know what gets me? The NFL’s copyright disclaimers always say it’s solely “for the use of our audience”. Well, if I’m watching it, I’m the audience. So WTF are they trying to say?

  25. DuckBill says

    I think the non football watchers are missing the point. Superbowl Sunday is a secular holiday. It is the easiest day to get invited to a party. F the game stay for the copious amounts of food and alcohol, you deserve to have some fun. It’s just a party, don’t overthink it.

  26. Stogoe says

    which is actually kind of a strange thing for churches to promote, anyway.

    Community is a strange thing for churches to promote? Not really. In fact, I’d say it’s probably the thing they’re best at.

  27. Taz says

    Do you realize how asinine some of you people sound? “I don’t like football and all who do are inferior cretins!” Talk about smug self-righteousness.

  28. Richard Harris says

    Hey freelunch @ # 11, I remember when the NHL was the Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Maple Leafs, Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, Chicago Black Hawks, & N Y Rangers: those were the days! And now they get slaughtered by the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Jeeeeez!

  29. says

    The only sports i watch involve naked chicks wrestling in something slippery. If they make a TV event out of that and i’d never miss it.

  30. lou says

    Isn’t that the thing where they put has-been singers up on platforms and forcibly expose their breasts?

  31. MLE says

    While I (IAAIntellectualPropertyL) find the NFL’s broadcasted copyright statement a blatant and gross distortion of copyright law (for example, by being a blanket statement, neglecting fair use, being too expansive), the NFL does have the copyright to prevent public performances and unauthorized redistribution. Large church super bowl parties certainly qualify, though the size of the TV is irrelevant. I don’t find their efforts to eliminate this use a distortion of copyright law at all. Nor am I troubled by the disparate treatment of bars — the NFL can and should license use to whoever they wish. I (IAAAtheist) am glad they are cracking down on churches.

  32. Norm says

    As long as you don’t turn on the game until it starts (skip the pre-game hype) and turn it off during the half-time drivel, and provided the game is not a blow-out, the Super Bowl can be quite entertaining. At it’s core, American football is a great sport and the athletes are superb, even if some of them get paid outrageous salaries. Go NY!

  33. says

    hah! Leafs’ fan? hilarious… i just kinda cheer for them cause i did since i was a kid, and now i live in TO.

    just subscribed to your blog, by the way. lovin’ it!

  34. Owen says

    #21 nails it. The original article specifically stated that the churches tend to skip the ads – especially the half-time show – in favor of “Christian DVDs” and suchlike.

  35. dzho says

    I’ve never watched a ball game in my life, either. Once answered a bartender “who the hell cares?” who wins ‘the game’ and very nearly got mobbed. Now I’m finding there are other ‘asportual males! Hallaujah!(sp?)

    Religion I disagree with but can see the appeal. Pro sports seems to resemble religion….but it totally mystifies me. ???

  36. natural cynic says

    If they’re in church, they won’t be drinking beer. So Busch, Miller &/or Coors must be behind all of this.

  37. monyNH says

    “I haven’t been much interested in bowling since they did away with candle pins.”

    #15, we knock down candlepins every week (Monday Night Women’s League, baby!). Candlepin bowling is alive and well here in New England!

    I’m not a sports fan at all, but I have to agree with #27, supporting your local minor league or school district teams is a lot of fun. One of the greatest perks of working in a school is getting to see those kids on a stage or on a court and cheer them on. That said, we’ll have the game on tomorrow–I like to check out the commercials, but it would be pretty sweet to watch the Pats complete a perfect season.

  38. Rick T. says

    Football is a combination of several physical, emotional and intellectual skills all played out at full speed. This is interesting from an evolutionary standpoint as our bipedalism requires physical movements unseen in other animals (at least the range of movements we can perform).
    When primates swing from branch to branch we understand the brain power devoted to this activity and we find it fascinating that this full tilt, on the edge, behavior has been naturally selected.
    This is the same fascination I have when I watch football. As a minor, former athlete I have been in the “zone”. I appreciate those who do it better and at a world class level. This is just a super developed set of movements that all of us have to one degree or another. http://neuroanthropology.wordpress.com/2008/01/01/equilibrium-modularity-and-training-the-brain-body/
    I marvel at those who exhibit a highly developed set of physical and mental skills, I enjoy or at least am curious about some of the spectacle and use the event as an excuse to eat foods (too much) that I normally don’t on a daily basis.
    Go Pats (I wonder if they can overcome the stress to complete a perfect season). Likewise, if an ancestor hadn’t overcome stress and nervousness in order to keep his or her body quiet enough to hit the target and provide food for a hungry group of kin you my not have been born.

  39. says

    What is this super bowl of which you speak? The Great Game was this afternoon at 2 pm GMT, at Croker. Not all that great either, actually. Ireland won 16-11, but they are going to have to look much better than they did today if they hope to beat the stronger sides.

  40. freelunch says

    Ali wrote:

    And PZ, given where you live, I think you should be cheering for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

    But the Blue Bombers play Canadian Football which is something like American football. The Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey (that’s on ice for those who aren’t from North America, not on a field). They were once good, but haven’t won the Stanley Cup since the league expanded from the above-mentioned six teams four decades ago.

  41. rufustfirefly says

    I watch college and pro football; college basketball; a little baseball. So, I’m obviously dumb as a post, devoid of self knowledge, unaware of the larger world, a fundamentalist Christian who denies evolution and thinks the earth is 6,000 years old, I agree with Tony Dungy’s views on homosexuality, George W. Bush is the greatest POTUS ever. Am I missing anything?

  42. Wyatt says

    #21-
    I couldn’t have said it any better.

    I’m going to use the term “asportual” to describe myself in the future.

  43. holomorph says

    Post No.21 nails it. I can speak from firsthand experience; at least some, and probably most, church Super Bowl parties turn off the projector during “immodest” advertisements, or ads for “non-family-friendly” TV shows.

  44. Wyatt says

    Oops, I meant to say #27, not #21. #27, I couldn’t have said it better: “It has everything to do with greed, marketing hype, encouraging fans to develop couch-potato lifestyles, gouging taxpayers to cough up for the phallic stadium fetishes of already-rich owners, and creating more and more dimwitted celebrities whose divorces and jail sentences make the front pages and displace real news stories. And big college sports aren’t any better”

  45. Gregory Kusnick says

    I’m another asportual who will be ignoring the Superbowl. I admit I don’t get the whole pro sports thing. I have nothing against those who do get it, provided they don’t expect me to pay for it.

    Here in Seattle voters twice voted down a new baseball stadium, and the city went ahead and built it anyway at taxpayer expense, tearing down an older but still serviceable stadium to do so. Of course then the football team had no place to play, so the city built them a new stadium too. So now we have two new taxpayer-funded stadiums that the taxpayers didn’t want, while we’re still paying off the bonds on the old stadium that got torn down. And did I mention that the owner of the football team is Paul Allen, a Microsoft founder and one of the richest men on the planet?

  46. Gary F says

    I haven’t read everyone else’s posts, but I’m on the side of the churches on this issue. The Superbowl is available to anyone with a television. If people want to watch it at their church, and the church enables them to watch it, I don’t have a problem with that.

    An enormous amount of money is made by selling advertisements during the Superbowl. Viewers of this game, whether in churches or elsewhere, see these advertisements. The people who buy the ads should be satisfied that people see the ads, whether they are at their homes or in a church. Therefore, I have no problem with the decision made by people who run churches to allow people to watch the Superbowl on big screens. No one is harmed by this decision made by individual churches. This game is so easily available that it should be available to everyone, and complaining about the size of the screen it is displayed upon is such a minor issue that it should be disregarded entirely. After all, some people own huge televisions on which they can watch ordinary television programs, and the Superbowl can be watched on these TVs as well. Who is harmed by the idea that multiple people may watch the Superbowl on a large screen?

  47. says

    When I was in the Air Force, and stationed overseas in Okinawa and Korea, I loved the Superbowl.

    Because of the time difference, the Superbowl played during the week overseas. Commanders tended to not see that televisions were appearing in work centers, and tended not to notice that little, if any, work was done while the game was being played.

    We still had to be at work, technically on duty but idle. I enjoyed the time because I could bring a good novel, and sample some Superbowl nosh with a soda as I soaked up Science Fiction or Richard Feynman in a quiet corner of the shop while everyone else gathered around the tube.

    Tomorrow I’ll drive empty streets and spend part of the day at a hopefully empty and quiet coffee shop reading. I’ll have the quiet emptiness of Christmas day, while still enjoying the fact that the stores will all still be open.

    And I’ll think kindly of everyone who loves the game.

  48. oku says

    The only thing I know about this Superbowl is that if you want to buy a new TV, you do it when it’s over. They are much cheaper then.

  49. rufustfirefly says

    Post #57.

    You have a point about not wanting to pay for it, but I imagine everyone has something that their tax dollars pay for that they don’t want them to pay for. Someone doesn’t want to pay for a new stadium; someone doesn’t want to pay for artwork that offends them. If we all got to choose, all that tax money would probably just sit around earning interest. Which might not be a bad idea.

  50. says

    Well, nogod-dammit! I was going to have my own little Super Bowl party with the game on my new 60inch LCD screen. Frickin’ a…

    But I guess it’ll be okay, since most of the people will be drunk at Mardi Gras in New Orleans and give two cracks of a whip about the “Big Game”.

  51. Gregory Kusnick says

    Someone doesn’t want to pay for a new stadium; someone doesn’t want to pay for artwork that offends them.

    The difference is that sports teams are wealthy, for-profit corporations that pay millions to star athletes and could easily afford to build their own facilities. Arts organizations are non-profits that typically struggle to make ends meet and have to beg for donations to build new facilities.

  52. Reginald Selkirk says

    Those who work on the Sabbath must be stoned to death. The Bible says so. That includes not only the NFL but also NASCAR.

  53. Joe Bob says

    Like Rick T (@48), I

    marvel at those who exhibit a highly developed set of physical and mental skills

    I grew up following the local university football team, and playing touch football in the streets and flag football at school. Many happy memories of those days.

    Then in high school and college I got a taste of the real thing: full-contact, tackle-across-the-bow, bone-shattering football. In my brief career, I suffered a broken arm, three broken ribs, and a bad concussion. There’s a lot of money on the line in big-time college football (coaches have salaries in the multiple millions of dollars these days), and the competition is ferocious. Not just between teams, but among teammates for the privilege of playing in the games. I can only imagine what it’s like in the pros. Probably something like Rollerball.

    So anyway, I still watch a game occasionally, and appreciate the amazing prowess displayed by the players, but I get totally turned off by the glorification of brutality and mindless competition. A love-hate sort of thing.

  54. Shawn Wilkinson says

    Reginald Selkirk (#67) (emphasis mine):

    Those who work on the Sabbath must be stoned to death. The Bible says so. That includes not only the NFL but also NASCAR

    I agree 110%

  55. says

    dzho @#45:

    Religion I disagree with but can see the appeal. Pro sports seems to resemble religion….but it totally mystifies me. ???

    I think they’re both tribal markers. Baptists get to feel good by uniting to hate the Episcopalians, LA Packers get together to hate the Detroit Blue Jays (or whatever). And the only thing worse than someone in the opposite camp is someone who won’t play the tribal game.

    I certainly understand the fun of playing sports, and of getting together with like-minded people. And I sort of understand the appeal of watching people doing something well. But that doesn’t explain what goes on with sports in this country. (When’s the last time you saw a tailgate party after a ballet performance?)

  56. Chris says

    Well they can always sing a rousing chorus of “Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life.”

  57. Carlie says

    My children are currently watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. Seems to make about as much sense as the football game to me.

  58. Kerry Maxwell says

    Wow, who’d of thunk there were so many closet conspiracy theorists here? Seems “skeptics” have a blind spot in their rational thinking skills when it comes “Evil Corporate White Males”. Just take the most ridiculous conspiracy theory, and replace *reptillian*, or *Men In Black*, or *Jews*, with *Corporate America*, and often the otherwise skeptical and rational will swallow it whole.

  59. says

    Well, I went ahead and watched most of the SuperBowl and realize I made a wrong call about football not mattering. It was a great game, a very exciting last few seconds and a terrific upset by the underdogs. As went the Giants, so will resurge the qualiaphiles! Hey, you cyber and cytogeeks should watch football and maybe you wouldn’t turn to cynical atheism, scientism, and other forms of self-abuse! God bless America!

    Hey Kerry Maxwell, did it occur to you that conspiracy is the idea of people planning to defraud or otherwise abuse other people while trying to keep it secret? That isn’t like inventing perpetual motion, ghosts or other paraphysical phenomena, right? It happens all the time, and it is a fallacy to think that just because some such theories are silly, the whole idea and all examples are silly. Corporations, mostly run by white males who are more evil than you want to believe, are very much involved in a lot of conspiracy. You may have noticed how much our economy is tanking from all that financial fraud etc. The really crummy part is how much Congress and especially our Preznit encourages and enables them to get away with it.

  60. Will Von Wizzlepig says

    I need to feel OK with much of my nation’s populace and their affliction/predilection to stare for hours at adult humans chasing after a ball.

    I try the “most people have hobbies which you might not like”, and that doesn’t help.

    I try to rationalize it.

    I try to ignore it.

    It’s difficult to ignore.

    I try not to be a dick about it.

    That’s difficult.