This is some tree:
An important point of clarification. Some have objected to the diversity of terms used for this holiday: Cephalopodmas, Squidmas, Cuttlemas, Cthulhumas, Octopusmas, Nautilmas, etc. Do not be intolerant! This is a thoroughly ecumenical, non-sectarian holiday, and we gladly embrace all of our molluscan brethren. You can just call it ‘podmas for short.
Or just piss off Bill O’Riely and say, “Happy Holidays!”
Aha! I knew it! KNEW IT!!
You cephalopod-worshipping atheists are INTOLERANT!
It’s a…a War On Monoplacophoranmas!!!!
‘podmas — it’s the new Festivus!
They’re adorable and menacing at the same time. That’s a tree for doing a re-make of “The Birds” …
Wow! Another tree octopus sighting! (see http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/ for details)
Surely this is a seldom-witnessed mating swarm; what a lovely, heartwarming presence in a middle-class livingroom.
I didn’t know that squids grew on christmas trees!
I’m celebrating Formicidmas this year. I’ve dug a nest of tunnels in the backyard, and I’m tending the aphids for my famous Holiday Honeydew Nog. I’m looking forward to those long winter nights grooming antennae with my loved ones.
And if any of the Queens on this blog wanna get together and click mandibles, I’ll be under the mistletoe.
Is there a podmas podcast? What’s the URL?
As an Asquid (geddit?) I’m looking forward to celebrating irrationally with a plate of deep-fried golden brown (but not burnt) offerings of Oktapodi rings. Yum-yum
As long as the -mas is there, your cryptoreligious instincts are intact! I am sure there is a Mass for all cytota which Benedict XVI will happily celebrate on request.
I’m waiting for one of the ‘pods to manifest stigmata before I’m convinced.
“I’m waiting for one of the ‘pods to manifest stigmata before I’m convinced.”
Let me get my shrimp fork and some cocktail sauce…
While I understand why it’s this way, I would have preferred a tree with more biodiversity.
Aren’t monoplacophorans extinct?
{leaves quietly and closes the door before the inevitable explosion…}
It is not asquidic to partake of calamari, and it’s even encouraged.
This isn’t exactly worship, either. Followers of ‘podmas are supposed to keep sharp blades around; if you see tentacles reaching down your chimney on ‘podmas eve, you should feel free to attack them savagely. It is considered very good form to leave signs of a struggle and blood and strange ichor splattered on the walls for others to ponder when they discover your mysterious disappearance.
PS @#15: yes, there are some advantages to worshiping a predator, they don’t need symbolic cover-ups for their meta-cannibalistic rituals….
It’s just… so… beautiful. I find myself filled with the spirit of the season and remembering the true meaning of Squidmas. By the way, if anyone knows what that is, feel free to clue me in.
“It is not asquidic to partake of calamari, and it’s even encouraged.”
So how should I eat it? With some fava beans and a nice chianti?
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNooooo !
It’s a WAR on STARMAS !!!!
You’ll burn !!!
Kidding folks,nice tree !
Lovecraft sez it best:
Christmas Sing Along with Gnat King Cruel:
Heretics Roasting On An Open Fire,
Jack Ketch Stringing Up Some Jews,
Pull The Muslim’s Tongue Out With Some Red Hot Pliers,
‘Cause It’s Christmas, Merry Christmas,
And We Hate You.
.
I love the smell of ichor on ‘podmas morning…
Come on everybody… let’s all sing “Grandma Got Devoured By a Deep One”!
“The Carol of Cthulhu”
Eldritch night, gibbous night,
Jibb’ring madness at first sight
‘Round yon Elder God devotees wild
Sacrificing both virgin and child
Sleep in R’lyeh’s dank keep
Sleep in R’lyeh’s dank keep.
—
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh”
In his house in old R’lyeh
Dead Cthulhu lies dreamin’
Amid angles hard and bright
And non-Euclidean.
Gibbous waxed the moon that night
Though the seas were choppy
Someday when the stars are right
Cthulhu will get stroppy.
For anyone who wants some great ‘podmas music, I recommend the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society’s two CDs “A Very Scary Solstice” and “An Even Scarier Solstice”. They’re simply awesome. With ‘podmas songs such as “Freddy the Red Brained Mi-Go”, ” I Saw Mommy Kissing Yog Sothoth”, ” Silent Night, Blasphemous Night” and “It’s the Most Horrible Time of the Year”. I never get tired of listening to them.
Oh, and the link: http://www.cthulhulives.org/store/store.lasso?1=product&2=122
This is deeply freaky. My friends and I are set to celebrate what we call “Podmas” next weekend. (This being the Christmas celebration of the people known as the Pod.)
And I so want that tree.
DMN!!!
PZ, y Jws rlly ht Chrstns gts, dn’t y?
Here’s another interesting tree, made out of Grolsch beer bottles.
Hey, I thought the angle of the axis was the reason for the season.
Cheers,
Ray
Hey! I found an old Monoplacophoranmas card !
(where “old” = as old as I am)
PZ, do they light up? You have to make them light up!
Course they do. They’re bioluminescent.
Followers of ‘podmas are supposed to keep sharp blades around; if you see tentacles reaching down your chimney on ‘podmas eve, you should feel free to attack them savagely. It is considered very good form to leave signs of a struggle and blood and strange ichor splattered on the walls for others to ponder when they discover your mysterious disappearance.
“Well, I’m as confused as you are, officer. When we woke up this morning, the living room was a mess, there was soot all over the carpet and a sack of toys by the fireplace, and these reindeer were just standing around on the roof.”
“Any sign of the intruder?”
“No, not at all.”
“Sir? Look at this. Beard residue on the mantelpiece. And sucker marks.”
“Well, I guess he made it into the house…”
“But he didn’t make it out again.”
— CSI: Arkham
I think someone should create a Squidmas (‘podmas, etc) event on facebook to counter the “Christmas” event I keep getting invited to.
Cthulhu Santa Doesn’t Really Care
At last! Photographic evidence of a Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus infestation!