I get … mail


Regular old physical mail, that is, paper with a stamp. Anyone remember Michael Korn? The nut from Colorado who threatened biologists there, and then sent email to everyone at my university offering to meet them for a fistfight out by the flagpole? He sent me a bunch of tracts … and a poem.

Here’s the letter and poem.

Dear Professor Myers,

These martyrs uffer enormous pain to uphold the ultimate Truth that you strive mightily to denigrate, deride, and destroy. Yet these simple people seem to have so much more wisdom than a proud American professor, who will inherit the Vale of Tears for all his malevolent efforts to ridicule their Faith, while they receive Eternal Bliss.

My heart truly grieves for you as I peruse
This tribute to Christian triumph over abuse
These martyrs gladly suffer for Supreme True
Confident their Faith is no mere ruse.

With full knowledge of going to their Heavenly Reward,
Eternity with God means the pain they can afford.

But you, O proud Paul, who battles the Truth,
Inflicting the deprecations of a skeptic’s Muse,

What eternal hope lives buried in your heart?
A cold dark place from God set eternally apart!

Awake, O Soul, and find your way back home!
To the True Shepherd’s embrace that alone,
Can satisfy the desperation that ravages your soul
And seeks like a lion to consume you whole.

Praying for you,
Mehachem Korn
Israeli Christian Evangelist
720-840-3877
geologists4truth@yahoo.com

PS Look at the picture of the deer. Do you really think something so stunning developed by chance? If you see no Divine Poetry in nature, is is not because it is not there. It is because your heart is closed even as your eyes survey the horizon.

With this letter was included the ripped out cover of a magazine called Blue Ridge Country with a cute fawn, another sheet of Christian screed telling me about unpardonable sin (which makes me wonder what the point of this mailing was—I’ve committed all the unpardonable sins he lists), a magazine called “The Voice of the Martyrs” that is full of horrible stories of deluded fanatics hauling bibles and christian literature to remote regions of the globe where people had mercifully been free of this crap, and a tract decrying the bible codes. It’s all very random and inane.

I can just throw it all in the trash where it belongs, but bad poetry is a sin against the muse Euterpe, for which he will suffer the torments of Tartarus.

I know you read this, Korn. Don’t bother sending me your insane ramblings anymore: they don’t persuade me of the existence of any gods, but they do convince me that you are a certifiable kook.


By request, here are the “unpardonable sins”:

  • Deliberately ascribing the Holy Spirit’s activity to demonic agency

  • Deliberately refusing the help of the Holy Spirit when it is available to save him from denying Jesus

  • Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit

  • Deliberately rejecting the witness of the Holy Spirit concerning Jesus

So I’m afraid that if you haven’t been paying any attention to an invisible, proselytizing ghost, you’ve committed an unpardonable sin.

Comments

  1. says

    a magazine called “The Voice of the Martyrs” that is full of horrible stories of deluded fanatics hauling bibles and christian literature to remote regions of the globe where people had mercifully been free of this crap,

    Having not been in a church for years, I forgot about missionaries until I was at grandma’s funeral. There was a bulletin board in the basement, listing groups of missionary families the church was sponsoring in various parts of the world. They were so proud to be spreading their silliness around the world. The worst ones are those that tie public works to their bloody proselytization.

  2. Marc Connor says

    Look at the poem! Do you really think something so stunning was developed by an intelligent designer?

  3. Carlie says

    “Vale of ears”? I assume he meant “Valley of Tears?” Because, you know, a vale of ears doesn’t sound all that bad. Especially if some of them are bunny ears.

  4. Kimpatsu says

    PZ, could you publish the list of unpardonable sins as well, please? I want to know how many I’ve yet to commit (so I can go out and commit them)!

  5. says

    PZ, You may be needing this:

    Federal Bureau of Investigation
    111 Washington Avenue South
    Suite 1100
    Minneapolis, MN 55401

    Phone: (612) 376-3200

  6. says

    Do you really think something so stunning developed by chance?

    Do you really think something so stunning is the equivalent of Frankenstein’s creature, the product of some idiot savant who couldn’t even turn the eye right-side out, yet who could deal with complexity beyond all observed skill thus far?

    What a weird little nerd you worship, Korn. A guy sort of…like you, only exponentially so.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  7. Sam Adams says

    Huh. Looks like those four sins require that the Holy Spirit actually exist. Well, the first one is predicated on demons existing, anyway. Since none of those things exist, none of these sins can possibly be committed.

  8. Janine says

    “Vale of ears”? I assume he meant “Valley of Tears?” Because, you know, a vale of ears doesn’t sound all that bad. Especially if some of them are bunny ears.

    Posted by: Carlie | December 3, 2007 10:23 PM

    I have to disagree, it is disturbing. I am thinking “Blue Velvet” only with millions of cut off ears. Eeeewwwwww!

  9. says

    PZ, do realize that sinning against the Muses does not necessarily merit torture in Tartarus. Generally, when the Muses feel offended, they will rescind their collective gift of inspiration and render the offender artistically inert forever. If the Muses are really pissed off, though, they may arrive in person to beat the living crap out of the offender, much like the way they literally ripped off the wings of the Sirens when the Sirens had the unmitigated audacity to challenge the Muses to a singing contest (which the Sirens unsurprisingly lost).

  10. noncarborundum says

    Of course, the list of unpardonable sins assumes at least one fact not in evidence.

    Here’s how I read them:

    • Deliberately ascribing the nonexistent activity of something that doesn’t exist to the agency of something else that doesn’t exist
    • Deliberately refusing the help of something that doesn’t exist when it is not available (because nonexistent) to save him from denying someone who may or may not have ever existed
    • Deliberately lying to or testing something that doesn’t exist
    • Deliberately rejecting the witness of the something that doesn’t exist concerning someone who may or may not have ever existed

    Are they unpardonable because there’s no one to pardon them?

  11. Sastra, OM says

    The odd thing about those “unpardonable sin” is that they all seem to work on the assumption that human beings can infallibly tell the difference between the Holy Spirit and

    1.)a false or evil spirit
    2.)a reasonable doubt
    3.)a more compelling feeling
    4.) a false religion

    It’s as if the people who think these sins are clear and understandable believe we’re all characters in a book or movie. When encounter the Holy Spirit it’s not a sensation, a feeling, a thought, a conclusion, or a hunch — no, it’s another character, just like us, only this one is real Big and Bright and Shimmery or something. And when he says “Hey, do you want some help” you look right into his face, you bold thing, and say “NO!” Or “Go Away!” Or “Prove it’s really you!” Or “I don’t seeeee yoooouuu…”

    They must be using the part of the brain we use for stories, narratives, and dealing with social situations — and not so much the part that does the rational analysis.

  12. Jsn says

    He rhymed “peruse” and “ruse” with the NOUN form of “abuse”? “Home” and “alone”? (A secret Macaulay Culkin Code perhaps?)
    The scansion is just pitiful, but this sums it all up; “These martyrs gladly suffer for Supreme True”. (groan)

    Reading this crap fills me with the same sense of mortification I felt when I watched The Gong Show as a kid. (shudders)

  13. Janine says

    PS Look at the picture of the deer. Do you really think something so stunning developed by chance?

    How often has all of us heard some variation of that argument? I try to have fun with people when they pull that on me. My favorite was a person in knew in college heard that I was an atheist. She felt the need to seek me out to question me about it. Nevermind that I did not speak to her about it. And watching her in action at parties, not godly at all.

    Well, she is giving me grieve. She then points at a nearby bunch of trees and asked, who put them there. There were about six trees in a straight line. So I commented that seeing how they were are in a line, some one planted them there. She walked away and never bothered me again on the subject.

    If only more people were that easy to discourage.

  14. Dahan says

    Ahhh fuck,

    How am I supposed to commit all the unpardonable sins when they include:

    “Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit”

    How do I lie or test a nonexistant being? Not fare.

  15. says

    Look at the picture of the deer. Do you really think something so stunning developed by chance?

    Korn,

    mountain; deer; watch; flower; snowflake

    One of the above things does not belong with the others. Which one would you choose, and why?

  16. says

    Bad poetry is something at which Christians excel. Two especially egregious examples are posted on my blog, compositions courtesy of “pro-life” Catholics whom God inspired to express their muse. (Inspiration from God is clearly not very effective.)

    A word of warning about the link: It turns out I have three poems posted on my site. One is a limerick I wrote myself in honor of PZ’s most recent birthday. It is, nevertheless, in keeping with the theme of bad poetry.

    [Link]

  17. says

    It looks like someone failed to take their haldol today. What is it with the crazies and their whole “we pity you” crap? Tell Korn to shove his shitty poem (which could’ve been written by my Kindergartener) up his corn hole.

    And, since we all know he’s going to read this – let me just raise the one fingered salute. *finger*

  18. RamblinDude says

    Ever notice how similar the ravings of a Christian lunatic are to the ravings of a Muslim or Hindu or hell I don’t know take your pick… a foaming at the mouth Indiana Jones movie high priest cult leader maybe? How they all sound alike? All you have to do is replace God with Allah or Vishnu or Bishamon or Kukailimoku or Harvey the invisible Bunny; pretend like you’re all blissed out because you’re one of the few who understands the secret to life; pretend that you’re deeply sad because your chosen deity is sad; pretend you suffer a lot; pretend that your the personal messenger of your chosen said deity; paste on an otherworldly countenance that conveys how blissed out and sad and suffering you are; and then work yourself into an uncompromising grim fanaticism.

    Oh wait, of course you’ve noticed it.

  19. raven says

    Oddly enough, M. Korn seems to be improving. He hasn’t threatened to kill anyone this time.

    Smart move. If he had figured this out the first time around, he wouldn’t have had to leave Boulder with a warrant out for this arrest.

    Hmmm, maybe the 8 commandments are on an upswing. Looks like we made it to 9 for once.

  20. Curt Cameron says

    Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit

    So those folks who feebly attempt to test the efficacy of prayer are actually committing an unpardonable sin?

    Sweet.

  21. Pareto says

    I’m surprised you actually opened a real envelope from Korn. Who knows what could be in there? I hope you at least used a grad student.

  22. Michael says

    “Not at all Mike, thank you.

    But I still wonder why you don’t care about my own wretched soul, while you try to save PZ’s. Am I not evil enough in my own right to merit paper, stamp, and preachments?”

    Ack! It seems I’ve been mistaken for a poetry writing loon. Damn my wretchedly common name! Please don’t mistake me for this guy. One, I don’t write poetry (nothing wrong with it, just not my thing), two I don’t send paper and stamp letters (way too much effort), and three I’m just as guilty for the imposible sins as the rest of the fine folks that frequent this blog. Though if it makes you feel any better if I ever try to save people from their evil ways you’ll be one of the first on my list.
    -Michael B (Not to be confused with the likely unstable Michael K)

  23. jpf says

    Unpardonable Sin #3 (“Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit”) creates a real problem. Like Sastra (#17) points out, even if we assume that the Holy Spirit exists, how do you know if you are dealing with the real Holy Spirit or just an imposture (Satan in disguse)? The only way would be to test it in some manner (beats me how, but there must be a way, otherwise it wouldn’t be listed as an Unpardonable Sin).

    But if it is the real deal, you would then have committed an Unpardonable Sin, meaning that there is no hope of anything but damnation for you, no matter how much you plead to Jesus for forgiveness. If you refuse to test, fearing unpardonable eternal damnation, then any old demon can come along and trick you.

    Frankly, I would say that this list of Unpardonable Sins sounds exactly like something a demonic agency would come up with to trick people into accepting it as the Holy Spirit without question. But then, if I’m wrong, I would be running afoul of Unpardonable Sin #1.

    Hey Korn, how do you get out of this mess?

  24. says

    Which opens up the bigger question:

    If God was truly interested in saving souls, knowing that demons could trick the faithful in precisely this manner, wouldn’t he have provided some means by which He could be positively and uniquely identified?

    God couldn’t come up with a metaphysical equivalent of Pretty Good Privacy?

    Oh, wait. Sorry about the disrespectful but relevant questions, guys.

    Theology: We’re doing it wrong.

  25. says

    If God was truly interested in saving souls, knowing that demons could trick the faithful in precisely this manner, wouldn’t he have provided some means by which He could be positively and uniquely identified?

    If God was truly interested in saving souls, why would he make it possible for them to get lost in the first place?

  26. June says

    “Do you really think something so stunning developed by chance?”

    Why Not?
    Christians think that something as stunning as God developed without a designer. So why not a simple deer?

  27. Rick T. says

    Mmmm, deer. ID meat.

    As an experiment simply remove the “Holy Spirit” and replace with the “church” to see that it makes more sense that these injunctions were made up by the church to keep the sheep in line.

    Deliberately ascribing the church’s activity to demonic agency

    Deliberately refusing the help of the church when it is available to save him from denying Jesus

    Deliberately lying to or testing the church

    Deliberately rejecting the witness of the church concerning Jesus

    See, no need to wonder who’s who, demon or Holy Spirit. Simply listen to the nearest priest. They wear silly uniforms (as well as say stupid things) so as to make it easier to identify them.

  28. Dustin says

    Awake, O Soul, and find your way back home!
    To the True Shepherd’s embrace that alone,
    Can satisfy the desperation that ravages your soul
    And seeks like a lion to consume you whole.

    Stryper roadies write better lyrics than this guy.

  29. jpf says

    Unfortunately, the only way God can show you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are dealing with the real God (or some homoousian aspect of Himself), and not a demon/false god/alien with advanced technology/etc., is by making you God. If God is supposed to be an infinite being, then only another infinite being can examine for infiniteness something claiming to be God.

    But even then, how can you tell if you have really been made God? You may think you can see all and comprehend the totality of everything, but how would you know if there were something missing in your understanding. A demon could grant you some illusion of infiniteness that you are unable to see through, since in reality you’re still a finite being, in order to trick you.

    For that matter, how can God know that he is really God? Maybe Yahweh is just in the Matrix, all alone with no one to offer him the red pill.

  30. says

    “Lying to the Holy Spirit”? The others I can understand, at least, but that one I don’t get. My understanding, at least, is that the Holy Spirit wasn’t a thing that one prayed or spoke to, it was just something that “came upon” one, like Peter North.

    Even if the concept made sense, the unforgivableness doesn’t. It’s the Holy Spirit, part of the triune god, the omniscient creator of the universe. So it’s going to know you’re lying, you’re going to know you’re lying… I mean, if I mislead a real person, I may do them harm in some way. If I lie to the Holy Spirit I’m just being an idiot. Allow me an allegory here.

    Research indicates that three out of five parents have had an experience more or less exactly like the following: their precocious four-year-old, smeared with chocolate from nosetip to fingertips, candy wrappers sticking to the sides of his face and a perfect facsimile of doe-eyed innocence planted on the front of it, denying any involvement in the mysterious disappearance of a whole box of Andes mints. And everybody reacts the same way – a little mad, a little worried the kid’s gonna get sick, but mostly just trying to keep from busting out laughing at the sheer absurdity of their cocoa-covered (yet baldfaced) little angel. But if it’s the Supreme Being instead of mom and her entire bridge club, the appropriate response is not laughter — not even death — but eternal torture?!

  31. Phy says

    #23, Susan: Mountain. Given a woodchipper, all the rest will fit (messily) into the back of my car.

    As for the rest, I suppose the Holy Spigot only ever audits classes. No degree for you! Unless it’s one of those bogus degrees like they give to people like Shatner.

  32. CalGeorge says

    Awake, O Soul, and find your way back home!

    Awake, Oh Korn, and quit with the fucking poems.

  33. Bride of Shrek says

    “Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit”.

    Oh, so HE can test us but we can’t test HIM. Double standard producing, hypocritical rat bastard.

    By that standard anyone who has ever prayed has “tested” him so has committed unpardonable sins. I menan what’s praying after all but asking God/Allah/Jehovah etc for a special favour of some kind, therefore TESTING his ability to come up with the goods.

  34. Nix says

    It’s reassuring to know that Korn thinks that murder, cannibalism and such things are pardonable.

    It makes me much gladder to be on a different continent.

  35. NC Paul says

    Wow – is the Holy Spirit is the prima donna of the Trinity or what? What a drama queen!

    I guess he’s still pissed that he only got walk on parts in the Bible (just imagine the heel-stamping hissy fit that caused).

    P.

  36. jpf says

    It’s reassuring to know that Korn thinks that murder, cannibalism and such things are pardonable.

    Apart from the Official Unpardobable Sin List (by Yahweh, dictated but not read), all is pardonable, yes even murder and cannibalism, as long as you renounce godless evolution and join the J-Team.

    Bad credit? No credit? No problem! Join now and you too can spend eternity with Korn and Dahmer!

  37. AllanW says

    comment #27

    It’s because they all exhibit similar symptoms of the same mania.

    comment #47
    Well it’s more like testing whether he gives a shit about the supplicant IMO. BTW best regards to Mr Shrek from this side of the pond.

  38. says

    I don’t want to rain on your cavalier parade, but you should have sent it on to either the Boulder Police or the FBI. There’s still a warrant out for this guy’s arrest last time I checked.

  39. scienceteacherinexile says

    That’s the problem with you atheists, you use reason too much. This radio program of some female evangelist (sorry I can’t remember her name. She is from the US, but her ministry is currently flogging her DVDs on a christian radio show here). I’ve heard her say at least twice that if you reason too much, you are going to be miserable. Stop trying to reason out the problems in your life, and pray more and trust god to fix them.
    Believe it or not, I have started listening to this station in my car going to and from work. I find it amusing. Of course my commute is not very far either, otherwise it may not seem amusing for long.

  40. Christophe Thill says

    “Testing the Holy Spirit”? That’s something Randi could do, it seems. Although he would need the ghost to fill an application form and to agree on conditions, which seems rather difficult. Also, a double-blind test would be difficult to conduct.

  41. David Marjanović, OM says

    I think this Mehachem guy has a typo in his own name.

    I also think that, as explained at length above, you aren’t capable of “committing” any of the unpardonable “sins” listed. By the kook’s own criteria, you haven’t done anything unpardonable, while he is in grave danger as explained in comment 33.

    I also wonder in whose “heart” the “ravaging desperation” really is…

  42. David Marjanović, OM says

    I think this Mehachem guy has a typo in his own name.

    I also think that, as explained at length above, you aren’t capable of “committing” any of the unpardonable “sins” listed. By the kook’s own criteria, you haven’t done anything unpardonable, while he is in grave danger as explained in comment 33.

    I also wonder in whose “heart” the “ravaging desperation” really is…

  43. Sili says

    You received this by post?

    Does that mean you’ve typed this up yourself?

    I don’t know whether to commisserate you or curse you.

    (Please tell me you got some lowly undergrad to do the brunt of the dirty work.)

  44. Tom says

    Well, ol’ Korn got what he wanted, a whole PZ blog entry all to himself and look at all these comments. Really, the only way to deal with attention getting behavior (trolling) is to ignore it. All this focus just encourages him.

  45. says

    Deliberately lying to or testing the Holy Spirit

    Aha! So that’s why there are no experiments from the ID mob, any experiment would be seen to be testing their god.

    I should have seen it before! It all seems so obvious now…

    /headdesk

  46. Skalite4 says

    Just so you know, you missed one “unpardonable sin”. Anyone who was raised Christian, and took the sacraments or was baptised, anyone who was a Christian at one point and is now not, can never come back.

    Hebrews 6:4-6

    It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit,
    who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age,
    if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

    For all us apostates, we can never be forgiven, so why do they bother trying?

  47. Ian Gould says

    Two thoughts:

    1. Korn sounds likes he’s mentally ill. It isn’t nice to mock the mentally ill.

    2. All those unforgivable sins seem to require that you have direct knowledge of the Holy Spirit. If those are the only sins that will definitely get you sent to Hell, you’re probably better off having nothing whatsoever to do with the Holy Spirit.

  48. J-Dog says

    Hey Korn! I am Spartacus too!

    And God came to me in a vision and told me that you are an agent of the devil, and that you will rot in hell for all eternity.

    Just so you know. Have a nice day.

  49. John H says

    I wonder what Korn would say if somebody sent him a picture of a tapeworm or another parasite and asked him to explain the divine poetry in that.

  50. Josh says

    [i]geologists4truth@yahoo.com[/i]

    Profaning geology is a baseball bat offense. Come here, Korn.

  51. Rich says

    “mountain; deer; watch; flower; snowflake

    One of the above things does not belong with the others. Which one would you choose, and why?”

    Snowflake. The rest are not made from frozen water.

    Okay, I’m kidding. Really.

  52. Pierce R. Butler says

    Fact check time!

    Prof. Myers, please describe in detail, giving times & locations:

    – to which demonic agency you ascribed which activity of the H.S.;

    – which help you refused from the H.S., and what it was that you denied J. (and what J. did when forced to cope without whatever you denied him);

    – what lie you told to the H.S., or which test you gave it (and what score it received); and

    – which witness concerning J. you received and rejected from the H.S.

    You have admitted doing all these things deliberately, and – as you have claimed elsewhere not to be a Republican – claims of memory failure will not be accepted.

  53. viggen says

    By request, here are the “unpardonable sins”:

    Wow, that’s pretty impressive. We now have Four Unpardonable Sins to go with the Seven Deadly Sins and the Ten Commandments. In other words, “believe what I believe or go to Hell.” Is it just me, or have all these whacks forgotten the Golden Rule?

  54. says

    Ack! It seems I’ve been mistaken for a poetry writing loon.

    Oh, sorry about that. Of course one doesn’t know, but the “Michael” and nothing else showing up just looked a tad suspicious, so I went with my suspicions.

    It didn’t work out right this time. Never mind that, thank you for real for your comments, and carry on.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  55. says

    This is worth framing and hanging over your bed. After all, you don’t get to be the subject of such crackpoetry every day, let alone crackpoetry that refers to you as ‘O proud Paul’. Congratulations!

  56. Larry says

    Bad poetry is something at which Christians excel.

    Bad spelling also seems to be common trait among Christians. What’s up with their education?…oh…wait..I guess that’s the point.

  57. Thomas Allen says

    Having committed unpardonable sins, I guess I should start worshipping satan in hopes that he will make my stay in Hell a bit less nasty than Jezombie wants it to be…

  58. Larry says

    Back in the 90s, there was a band named Devo which consisted of 4 guys dressed in white cleanroom suits playing some weird music. They named their band after De-evolution because, they claimed, mankind was de-evolving back to slime.

    Reading this post, I can now better understand where Devo was coming from. Mr. Korn would seem to be a prime example of such a reverse process. What is it about religion that turns a normal human being, who was born with the capacity to learn, grow, and reason, to become one with the slime? It is truly mystifying.

    As to the Unpardonable Sins, I’m totally down with each one of them. Do I get some kind of badge or something?

  59. gordonsowner says

    invokes one of my favorite scenes from ‘grosse pointe blank’:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119229/quotes

    Martin Q. Blank: Do you *really* believe that there’s some stored up conflict that exists between us? There *is* no us. *We* don’t exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It’s not me. Now whaddya wanna do here, man?
    Bob: [Pulls out a folded up piece of paper]
    Martin Q. Blank: I don’t know what that is.
    Bob: These are my words.
    Martin Q. Blank: It’s a poem? See, that’s the problem… express yourself, Bob! Go for it.
    Bob: “When I feel… quiet… when… I feel… blue…”
    Martin Q. Blank: You know, I think that is *terrific*, what you have right there. Really, I liked it, a lot. I wouldn’t sell the dealership or anything but, I’m tellin’ ya… it’s intense!
    Bob: There’s… more.
    Martin Q. Blank: Okay, would ya mind, just skip to the end.
    Bob: To… the very end? “For a while.”
    Martin Q. Blank: Whew. That’s good man.
    Bob: “For a while.”
    Martin Q. Blank: That’s excellent!
    Bob: You wanna do some blow?
    Martin Q. Blank: No I don’t.
    Bob: [Hugs Martin]

  60. Janine says

    Larry, Devo was formed back in the 70’s. They also had other uniforms besides the white suits. I think most of we old timers prefer the black turtlenecks with the flowerpot hats. But I am afraid the would look scary in those shirts now.

  61. bacopa says

    I liked the original yellow cleanroom suits from the 70s. There are some great YouTubes of Devo playng their little hearts out at some big venue in France in ’78. The audience just stood there in awe and confusion. But France came to understand, and that’s why we have Daft Punk today.

    Seriously, Korn challenged the whole department to a fistfight? You should have accepted. I doubt he could have beaten even three of you. Two to grappel, one to pummel.

  62. Matt H says

    Re Michael K’s poetry: It fits into a peculiar category of poetry well-described by PJ O’Rourke in Holidays in Hell:

    I found God and lost all my talent.

    I still can’t figure out how people can believe in things that aren’t consistent with observed reality. The ability to reconcile magic with the world is way beyond me. Anyone want to try to explain the cognitive processes that make people so willing to accept nonsense?

  63. Atheist in a Kilt says

    Has anyone else noticed that the “unforgivable sin” is really boring? What if the “unforgivable sin” was something fun like- a hotel room, 8 strippers, and a case of Johhny Walker Black? Now there is a sin with some substance.

    Ok, here comes my sorry attempt at poetry,

    Darwin, you devil how dare you speak.
    I cant suffer your theory for my faith is weak.
    The Bible says six days, yet you ask for more time.
    Ah, but wait its the origin of life, not the origin of species for which I pine.
    So I’ll pick from the verses that I like the best.
    I’ll throw in some science and forget the rest.
    Now I have some faith and I have some truth.
    I find great comfort in my beliefs that lack proof.
    Wait there’s a problem I cant help but see.
    There’s Bertrand Russel and his philosophy.
    And there’s Nietzshe, Ingersoll, Hume, and Payne
    And a thousand others who have taught us the same.

    Now instead of comfort, there’s a feeling I find hard to explain.
    Is this freedom, is it liberty, have I loosened my chains?
    The church offers grace for they say I have sinned.
    I’ve thrown of that weight, I shall not pray again.
    I’ll live my life fully for it wont last long,
    and to my fellowman, I’ll try to do no wrong.
    Now I have a question as I ponder all this again.
    Could it be that to waste your life chasing gods and devils is the one “true” sin?

  64. Bureaucratus Minimis says

    PZM: Since this guy has threatened you in the past, and seems to have an outstanding warrant out for him (presumably as a result of that threat) it seems prudent for you to have your mail screened before you open it. If your university doesn’t have the equipment to examine mail by xray and magnetometer (etc), your local FBI or US Postal Service Inspector should be able to help with that.

    Realize the other commenters were kidding, but foisting this duty off on an unsuspecting student isn’t the answer.

  65. SmellyTerror says

    Yay! Let’s make fun on the mentally ill! Next week I hope to see photos of people in wheelchairs so we can point and laugh. Oh the hilarity!

    Are you really so starved of material that you need to post stuff like this?

  66. Willy says

    Testing the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin? Now you tell me…I gave young Mr. Spirit a chemistry test a couple weeks ago and he failed miserably.

    I may burn in hell but I’ll never give someone a grade they didn’t earn.

  67. enlashok says

    To Michael Korn:

    An archangel’s name
    and a firebrand fervor
    golden from head to toe, no doubt,
    with God’s armour.

    O! Stout warrior, you are wearing
    No clothes.
    Your wings don’t work here,
    in this bright land of human hope.
    Go home Michael,
    these dizzying heights of whipped up Christian ecstasy
    only leave you with
    such a long way to fall.

    With an industrial crop’s talent for
    self-examination
    you come to us
    with sound and fury,
    spouting threats and venom,
    but evidence cuts deeper than devotion

    By your self-inflicted stripes, we are entertained
    You, our unwanted saviour,
    your own cross you not only carry
    but manufacture yourself
    every plank
    every thorn
    every nail

    You climb your flimsy construction
    plain for all to see:
    Festering
    Government-subsidised,
    High fructose.

  68. Escuerd says

    My summary of the poem: neither rhyme nor reason.

    Notice how it’s well-written and doesn’t sound awkward at all? Yeah, me neither.

    Some people deliberately eschew regular meter. I think their poems usually suck, but at least they tend to know what they’re leaving out. When people leave out rhythm but keep rhyming, it makes me think they don’t understand why their work sounds like shit when it’s read aloud.

    It’s ok to occasionally bend the rules of rhyme or rhythm if the rules of grammar are too rigid and vice versa, but one should only do so sparingly. Instead, this poem butchers all three at the same time.

    Ok, poetry critique over, but the content was too puerile to merit response.

    Very creepy mail, PZ. I’d definitely get my mail checked out from now on if I were you.

  69. Pyre says

    “mountain; deer; watch; flower; snowflake
    One of the above things does not belong with the others. Which one would you choose, and why?”

    Flower, of course.

    Anyone with pollen allergies would tell you the same.

  70. says

    Dear Prof. Myers,

    Thank you for posting my poem. Although it is not the most eloquent piece of literature, it does come from the heart, which is what counts. I guess you sensed that and wanted to share it with your friends!

    I recently read through the Ameican Declaration of Independence. I was surprised to see three references to a Creator God: (1) “When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.” (2) “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights;” (3) “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”

    Now considering that the Declaration declares God, our money is inscribed with “In God We Trust”, our songs sing out “God Bless America”, and our Pledge of Allegiance affirms that we are “One Nation Under God”, it seems that people who hold to atheistic views like Darwinian Naturalism (that nature created itself) are not only foolish scientists, but they are unpatriotic Americans as well!

    I am looking forward to the day when Congress will convene an American Inquisition to force scientists who believe in Devilution either to recant their views and to be properly reeducated or to forfeit their citizenship and to be deported to a place like Communist China, which will appreciate your atheism and hatred of God.

    Of course, it would be preferable for these scientists to willingly subject themselves to reeducation without resort to an Inquisition. But rest assured that the day is coming when the stubborn arrogance of the Darwinists, who hold themselves above normal scientific accountability, will force our society to take firm action to protect itself from their dangerous prevarications.

    But you can relax: unlike the Roman Catholic Inquisition, the American Inquisition will not burn recalcitrant sinners against true scientific reason at the stake; it will merely strip them of their citizenship and expel them from these sacred shores!

  71. says

    THIS IS A PROMISE, NOT A THREAT!

    Just like Jesus promised so many millennia ago, “‘Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom”?

  72. raven says

    THIS IS A PROMISE, NOT A THREAT!

    Michael, this thread is 3 months old. No one is looking at it. They go dead in a day as they slip down the list.

    You shouldn’t be posting your threats (or promises) anyway. People already think you are crazy and the police are looking for you.

    And FWIW, your language and sentiments are not exactly what good Jews or Xians would express.

  73. phantomreader42 says

    Is there a way to trace this Korn nutcase’s IP address? Isn’t there still a warrant out for his arrest on those death threats (and it looks like he’s making more now)?

    I don’t suppose Mike’s actually read the U.S. Constitution. You know, the document that actually lays out the workings of American government? The one that explicitly forbids religious tests for public office? The one that doesn’t mention his precious god even ONCE? Or is he going to desperately grasp at the date?

    Really, if the intent was to create a “Christian Nation” (whatever that term means, if anything at all), why would it not be stated as such in the Constitution? I have never seen a single one of these theocrats even attempt to answer this question. Has anyone?

    The idiot also isn’t aware that “In God We Trust” wasn’t put on coins until 1864, or on paper money until 1957. And he clearly hasn’t read the ORIGINAL version of the Pledge of Allegiance, which had no mention of any god. Of course, theocratic traitors never bother to learn these things. Who needs facts when you can Lie For Jesus™?

    Michael Korn, you lust for the murder of American citizens. You seek the overthrow of the United States government, the destruction of our Constitution, and the abolishment of the freedom our soldiers fought and died for. You, sir, are a traitor. YOU are the one who is Un-American. Get the fuck out of my country.

  74. says

    i am out of your country. i don’t live in the polluted fatuous bubble that you call home. i was born here and it is my country too. may the best man win… try arguing the science next time, big boy. see this: http://scienceagainstevolution.org/pogge.htm he is a military scientist and veteran who isn’t afraid to write the truth about the drop headed darwinist traitors to america. you are contaminating our country with vile english heresies. you are a lobster back red coat torry and unwelcome on these sacred shores.

  75. says

    PS i didnt say we have to be mandated as a Christian nation. just a God-fearing one. and if you dont like that go suck some commie bottom in beijing. where you and other traitors belong.

  76. says

    “PS i didnt say we have to be mandated as a Christian nation. just a God-fearing one. and if you dont like that go suck some commie bottom in beijing. where you and other traitors belong.”

    Actually, I think we’ll stay here and gay/godless up this country. It could use it, to be honest.

    Thanks for offering though!

  77. Stevie_C says

    That’s funny… I never remember Jesus mentioning the U.S.A. in his sermons… odd that.

  78. Janine, ID says

    The Korny statement ended up in an other thread. I was not aware of this one. This was my statement.

    Now considering that the Declaration declares God, our money is inscribed with “In God We Trust”, our songs sing out “God Bless America”, and our Pledge of Allegiance affirms that we are “One Nation Under God”, it seems that people who hold to atheistic views like Darwinian Naturalism (that nature created itself) are not only foolish scientists, but they are unpatriotic Americans as well!

    Let’s see. “In God We Trust” was added in the 1950’s. That is one song, not songs, and it was written by an atheist for a musical. The original pledge did not have “Under God”. That was also added in the 1950’s.

    So Micheal Korn is still running about.

    I am looking forward to the day when Congress will convene an American Inquisition to force scientists who believe in Devilution either to recant their views and to be properly reeducated or to forfeit their citizenship and to be deported to a place like Communist China, which will appreciate your atheism and hatred of God.

    Also sound like he is making threats though not quite at the same level of physical threats as before. Good to know the authorities are getting those using the internet to make threats.
    ____________________________________________________________

    I have to add this, it seems that the godbot is able to learn, even if it is rather slowly. He is still using Cold War era taunts. At least he was able to update to “why don’t you move to Beijing” instead of “why don’t you move to Moscow”. I wonder how many years it took for him to make the change?

  79. Janine, ID says

    That’s funny… I never remember Jesus mentioning the U.S.A. in his sermons… odd that.

    Posted by: Stevie_C

    It was implied in one of his allegories. It would have been revealed if you truly believed instead of being blinded by atheistic science.

  80. says

    I wonder how many years it took for him to make the change?

    It’s not as hopeful as it seems. Look up the whackjobs at the John Birch Society–they’ve been talking about the “ChiComs” for about 60 years now.

  81. Janine, ID says

    Yeah but for many years, they thought that Beijing was Moscow’s puppet. Nevermind the fact that the boarder between the USSR and China was highly fortified. I guess it was a case of dropping the Moscow line.

    Could it be a case of forgetting instead of learning?

  82. says

    Esteemed Professors,

    I realize some of you will say that when Europe was Christian, wars raged there for centuries, and this unfortunately is true.

    But is it not preferable to fight for the truth than to live in peace with a lie?

    As scientists presumably devoted to the Truth, you no doubt fight all the time for the theories and hypotheses you believe are true.

    The question you all must ask yourselves is what happened to the idea that Theology is the Queen of the Sciences? Why has right and proper discernment of the First Mover and Prime Causer of all events been relegated to the dust bin of history and set aside for laughter, scorn, and derision?

    When we all stand before our Maker, He will not ask us why we were not Catholics, Protestants, Jews, or Moslems. He will ask us: “Why did you ignore all the wonderful evidence I placed in the world testifying of Me as the Creator? Why did you not perceive this evidence and share it with others? Why did you betray your calling as scientists, who rightly perceive the fullness of Truth? Why did you not live up to the marvellous potential with which I created you?”

    You will not be able to tell God: “You know, Sir, I studied the history of religious warfare in Europe and elsewhere. I read about how the Church was silent during the Holocaust. I know how the Israelis abuse and kill innocent Palestinian civilians, all in Your Name. And therefore I chose to ignore You and even hate the idea of You.”

    God will reject all those assertions, for the naturalistic evidence for God is so manifest that, more than all other persons on earth, scientists should be the first to perceive and proclaim Him!

    You are right to distrust the institutional church. I myself am a member of no church. They all have lost their way, in my opinion. I am sure we share many of the same beliefs about the current deplorable state of American society, about the corruption of the Bush Administration, who have lied us into endless wars against an invisible (and probably non-existent) enemy, about 9-11 attacks that were never investigated adequately, about the dumbing down of American culture and the uselessness of our mass media, which is simply tabloid journalism at its worst.

    I would agree with you about all this. Yet, beyond all the gloom and doom, God calls out to us to pursue Him, perceive Him, and proclaim Him! I know it is not easyto avoid cynicism and despair in the current climate of compromised Churches that wave the flag of patriotism but persecute small scale sinners while turning a blind eye to (or even aiding and abetting) the big time sinners who are ruining our country.

    I close with this quote from Dr. John Witherspoon, President of Princeton, stated in a sermon in 1776 during the early days of the Revolution against Britain:

    “While we give praise to God, the supreme disposer of all events, for His interposition on our behalf, let us guard against the dangerous error of trusting in, or boasting of, an arm of flesh… I look upon ostentation and confidence to be a sort of outrage upon providence, and when it becomes general, and infuses itself into the spirit of a people, it is a forerunner of destruction. ..but observe that if your cause is just, if your principles are pure, and if your conduct is prudent, you need not fear the multitude of opposing hosts.

    “What follows from this? That he is the best friend to American liberty, who is most sincere and active in promoting true and undefiled relgion, and who sets himself with the geatest firmness to bear down on profanity and immorality of every kind. Whoever is an avowed enemy of God, I scruple not to call him an enemy to his country.”

    [Cited in: The Light and the Glory, by Peter Marshall and David Manuel, Old Tappan, New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1977, p. 286]

    There you have it: 200 years ago atheists probably could not even have been hired to teach in an American college. Today they virtually have taken over and killed off (with mockery, scorn, derision, and denial of grant monies, tenure, and peer acceptance and respect) all those who uphold a Creator God! And while these deluded wretches may think they have won a great victory, they have only won a small skirmish in a much larger battle; and the final victory will be with all those who follow God, because only they can gain the wisdom, confidence, and blessing that are necessary to triumph in any hard fought war!

    I sincerely hope and pray that the Father of Mercy will open your eyes to perceive the Greater Truth so that you may join His side and not become needless casualties of His Great Battle for Truth.

    Sincerely,
    Michael Korn
    A.C.E. – American Christian Evangelist

  83. says

    C’mon Korn…you can do better than that. That was just run of the mill crazy. You’re better at the whatked out batshit insanity. How can we laugh at you if you’re not funnier?

  84. spurge says

    “I close with this quote from Dr. John Witherspoon, President of Princeton”

    When you say you are going to close with a quote you are not supposed to keep typing after it.

  85. Janine, ID says

    Today they virtually have taken over and killed off (with mockery, scorn, derision, and denial of grant monies, tenure, and peer acceptance and respect) all those who uphold a Creator God!

    Next, we will be able to get rid of all military institutions. How can modern weaponry stand up to the power of our scorn? My mockery can take down a B-52!

    True believers must be a fragile creature if mean words and a lack of respect will cause them to dry out and blow away in the breeze.

  86. Owlmirror says

    True believers must be a fragile creature if mean words and a lack of respect will cause them to dry out and blow away in the breeze.

    I once said “whatever” and rolled my eyes at someone who asked me if I had accepted Jesus as my personal savior, and he practically had a heart attack.

    Fragile, indeed.