I painted my sofa because Jonathan Adler.

Jonathan Adler is a designer based in New York City with a storefront shop in the West Village on Greenwich Avenue. I have sort of a love-hate thing for this d00d because, well, I loooove many of his designs, and yet I haaaaate the stratospheric pricing.

First, the love. If I had to describe Adler’s overall aesthetic, I’d say midcentury-modern-meets-obnoxiously-opulent-whimsical-retro-pop-culture-plus-drugs. Yes, drugs.

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#muschniwogdowis of the day: business as usual.

The ‘defense’ budget is three quarters of a trillion dollars. Profits went up last year well over 25%. I guarantee you: when war becomes that profitable, we’re going to see more of it. –Chalmers Johnson

Until it is no longer the case that Most US Citizens Have No Idea What Our Government Does Or Who It Serves, I am just going to continue to insist that #muchniwogdowis is simply the GREATEST ACRONYM EVAR™!!!11!!!

Today’s demonstration of its awesomeness is an Op-Ed in The Nation by former Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) entitled Why Is the Foreign Policy Establishment Spoiling for More War? Look at Their Donors. He is “fed up with the DC policy elite who cash in on war while presenting themselves as experts, at the cost of other people’s lives, our national fortune, and the sacred honor of our country.”

It’s kind of adorable that Kucinich thinks our country has some sort of “sacred honor” going for it. Nevertheless, I have always liked this d00d.

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Space alien squirrel cephalopod.


People, I just don’t know what to make of this. Normally, my food conforms to certain standards of behavior. I insist on this, in fact. But this little fucker appeared in the middle of my appetizer, trying to pass itself off as just another delicious fried calamari. Well. I am not having any of that.

There is quite clearly something on my plate that is hiding in a fried calamari costume. I realize this is the Halloween season and all, but this is not okay. Its resemblance to a space suit is hardly lost on my keen eyes, but of course the possibility of squirrel fuckery is never far from my thoughts either.

Wait… are squirrels from space? Are the cephalopods in cahoots with them?


Obviously what’s called for here is some serious, thoughtful skepticism. And another martini. And some cocktail sauce.

#muschniwogdowis of the day: “parallel construction.”

It is simply an invariable truth in the history of politics, in the history of government, that whenever a new power is acquired in the name of some threat, it always — not sometimes, not often, not usually —it always extends beyond its original application, beyond its original justification.
Glenn Greenwald (video @36:30)

Hey kids, it’s time to revisit the World’s Bestest Ever and Most Useful Ever Acronym Ever: #muschniwogdowis! And it will continue to be the bestest ever and most useful ever acronym ever until it is no longer true that Most US Citizens Have No Idea What Our Government Does Or Who It Serves.

Today’s fun topic is “parallel construction.” It comes to our attention via this piece in The Daily Beast:

AT&T Is Spying on Americans for Profit, New Documents Reveal
The telecom giant is doing NSA-style work for law enforcement—without a warrant—and earning millions of dollars a year from taxpayers.

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“Supporting the Troops,” everyone.

The Los Angeles Times ran a piece over the weekend revealing efforts by the California National Guard to claw back reenlistment bonuses and student loan payments from 9,700 soldiers it has determined were ineligible for these incentives. According to California Guard official Col. Michael S. Piazzoni, “The system paid everybody up front, and then we spent the next five years figuring out if they were eligible.”

“‘No, no!’ said the Queen. ‘Sentence first—verdict afterwards.'”

“‘Stuff and nonsense,’ said Alice Iris loudly.”

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#muschniwogdowis of the day: Your liberal media.

Today’s report in Most US Citizens Have No Idea What Our Government Does Or Who It Serves (#muschniwogdowis) follows.

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”Carl Sagan

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WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Cyber Squirrel 1.

[CONTENT NOTE: As readers know, I typically write non-fiction. But lately I’ve found an interesting space to inhabit that bridges the real world with an imagined one. And…well, this is my first short story, ever. Many thanks to Cyber Squirrel 1 for the interview on which it is based, to Marcus for connecting us, and to My Amazing Lover™ for critical feedback and boundless encouragement. ]


WORLD EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Cyber Squirrel 1.


Precisely at noon, a gray van slowed to a crawl on Bedford Street before stopping abruptly at Barrow. The panel door slid open and I climbed inside. Before I could find sure footing, the vehicle sped away toward Christopher Street, knocking me first to my knees and then down on my side.

The darkness was instant and total; the air felt close and thick. I would not see daylight again until the sun rose the next morning, and by then I would have wondered at least a thousand times whether I would live to see another day. But I ain’t gonna lie to you. At that moment I was abuzz with adrenaline, euphoric even, as the van lurched forward and I contemplated the hours ahead. For this was a mission like no other: Your Humble Correspondent™ had been granted an interview with Cyber Squirrel 1, Chief Minister of Information and Propaganda of the squirrel army. And I was headed straight to the enemy command center.

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