My Eldest is Becoming a Hardened Criminal

“Daddy! Guess what!!!”

My oldest daughter bounded through the door, arriving home from school a tad late and out of breath.


“I just did something very bad and I’m super proud and happy with myself.”

So here’s the story:

The High School has a gymnasium that has a ground floor area and a raised track on the perimeter. The students need to check in, so as not to be absent, take part in gym class, and then have a free 30-minutes to do whatever they want at the end of the hour and fifteen minute class.

My daughter checked in, did the gym class, then asked the gym teachers if she could walk around the raised track for the last 30 minutes of free time, to which they agreed. She climbed the stairs to the track and promptly walked out the gym doors with her friends.

Shaking with fright, having never done anything naughty in her entire life, they decided to be even more criminal – and went to the school library. They stayed until the bell rang for the next period.

She’s going to be a downright Bonnie, once she finds her Clyde. A master criminal. Even more sinister, when asked whether she regretted any of it, she uttered the fateful word, “Nope!” Said with a brilliant smile.

“Will you do it again?”

“Not in a million years.”

Maybe she will go to Harvard after all.


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