I haven’t spoken to her since February, 2012. Sure, she’s written me letters, here and there, of which I’ve posted on my various dusty corners of the interwebs, with commentary, but we have never passed a word back and forth, since.
This complete lack of contact was my doing. My Mama was a very abusive human being, in every way that a human can be abusive to their children. That’s not to say that I didn’t have some very bright spots in my childhood. But punctuating good with a heavy dose of bad, doesn’t bode well for the psyche of kids. At nearly 38 years of age, I’m still trying to work through what real love looks like. I don’t think I’ve ever truly experienced it. Not to mention, the catalyst for me cutting her off was her complete lack of respect for my autonomy as an adult. I simply needed her to let me grow up. She wouldn’t allow it, so I did it on my own.
You are not obligated to keep toxic people in your life.