imageApril is sexual assault and victim blaming awareness month. The #RedMyLips campaign is meant to raise awareness of the blatant and subtle ways victims are blamed, teaching our culture how to spot and eradicate the ways we prop up rape culture.

My Bride’s Awful Heart: A Trip to the Hospital

BallonMy bride is 33 years old. Since she was 14, she has been having heart palpitations, here and there. Over the years, she would have an episode, run to the doctor, and it would stop before she got there. Many doctors were skeptical, even shooing her away with napkin drawings of what could be going on with her heart, but no real solutions.

Needless to say, this frustrated Kristine very much. So, a month ago, she went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota and met with a cardiologist. The team of heart people recommended a course of action that would fix this thing once and for all.

They installed a LINQ (Medtronic) in her chest, an operation that was 50-seconds long and cost $18,000 (thank you, insurance!). Then we sat and waited.

The other day, we were…uh…busy with certain marital…uh…duties, and she had an episode for 30-seconds. The doctors saw it and called her immediately, at 1:30 AM. They acknowledged the episode, said it was exactly what they needed to see, and told her that they would ideally like one more reading.

Two nights ago, Kristine went out on the town and had an episode. It lasted for over an hour with her heart racing up to 220 bpm. She called an ambulance and they rushed her to the hospital. The police officer (who didn’t throw her to the ground, being my bride is white) on the scene put a stethoscope on her heart and his jaw dropped to the ground. I have body cam video for posterity.

Now, Mayo has what they need and are scheduling an ablation procedure to fix something called AVNRT.

There were tears. My bride is relieved. A 20-year battle, finally coming to an end, hopefully.

Your Penis is Proof that ‘Natural Order’ is a Farce

Penis flaps

When a baby boy comes out of the mother, emerging forth all slimy and hairy, ready to poop yellow poops (after the tar poops), a keen doctor will notice that he has a little flap of skin on his penis. This, for those who are otherwise uneducated, having never been witness to this terrible and useless collection of cells, is called the foreskin. This very foreskin is natural.


This is my covenant, which you shall keep, between me and you and your offspring after you: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskins, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and you. He who is eight days old among you shall be circumcised. Every male throughout your generations, whether born in your house or bought with your money from any foreigner who is not of your offspring, both he who is born in your house and he who is bought with your money, shall surely be circumcised. So shall my covenant be in your flesh an everlasting covenant. Any uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin shall be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant. – Genesis 17:10-14

So the Bible god created man with a curtain on his penis, but rather than maintaining the natural order of things, he orders that skin ripped from the man’s penile member.

Regardless of the reasons for the skin flap removal, the fact that the very god of those who claim that they are against the institution of same sex marriage, circumcision flies in the very face of the natural order argument. Pastors stand in the pulpit and preach circumcision as a necessary practice for the Israelites in the Old Testament, and then use the concept analogously from the New Testament, to impress upon Christians to be “set apart from the world for the Lord.”


Ah sin. That old concept that has been used throughout the ages to control people.

Don’t do that or you’ll [insert bad punishment here].

Many people have never experienced the delicious act of masturbation, never consensually had sex with a person that would mutually desire it, without the need to put a ring on it, and most importantly, have never done something crazy without feeling a pang of guilt. As a majority religious society, this makes sense. Everyone around you is applying social pressures to conform to what society deems is right and correct. But is refusing to stray from the perceived narrow path of righteousness natural?

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. – Colossians 3:5

So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. – Romans 7:14

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. – Psalm 51:5

These three verses are a small collection of a broader idea in the Bible – that the depravity of humankind was natural, a consequence of man’s own natural choices, unable to do anything different, except for an unnatural act of God to work it’s righteousness through the person who accepts it. That’s babble speak for concept of men and woman being utterly unable to not sin, had it not been for Jesus’ sacrifice.

Sin is natural. Not sinning is unnatural. Yet, never has a figure on the Religious Right advocated for living in sin, the natural order. They insist on the exact opposite.

In other words, being gay is natural, a desire of the flesh, yet we must be required to reject that natural for the unnatural rejection of that natural, which is somehow the natural order of things, but really isn’t because it’s the opposite of what is natural, making it unnatural…and around and around we go.

But we’re not supposed to think of these sorts of things.