It rained and they decided to go outside. Fuck homework. I’m happy. And my eldest got a damn iPhone 6S, which is better than mine. So I’m pissed off.
Here was our iMessages conversation after she left the Verizon store:
Her (13): “Hi!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me (35, nearly 36): “I [redacted] hate you.”
“I know you do!”
“You got a 6S. That’s better than mine.”
“Go to hell.”
Now she’s behind my chair, gloating and laughing at me. She’s enjoying this. I need a Johnny Walker Platinum with an orange rind in the glass.