The Mitt Romney Mega Prayer!

The facts are clear; you must admit
The time has come to pray for Mitt

The time has come, if you believe,
To pray all day—election eve

And if it works—as well it may—
We cannot lose, if we just stay
At home, and pray and pray and pray
From dawn to dusk, election day.

You have to follow that link. Or here, here it is again. I am told it is for real. It looks like a parody, but I think a parody would have, as my verse does, asked people to stay home and pray on election day. I just love the graphic design–it reminds me of a simpler time, a time when everyone was straight, white, and Christian. A fictional time, in other words. A time that never existed except in the whitewashed memories of a privileged group.

But it’s just so shiny!


  1. maudell says

    Battle of Lepanto? I didn’t know they spoke English! That must’ve been hard for catholic Lepantese, in the midst of the Reformation! The stuff you learn from Romney supporters. (even my Ottoman history teacher didn’t know that one)

  2. revjimbob says

    The Battle of Lepanto was a naval battle, won by advanced European ship-building and cannon technology.

  3. Buddylee103 says

    Since the Christians included Mormons in the prayer request, the combined Judeo-Mormon-Christian prayer power might be enough to bump it up to a 58% success rate.

  4. dukeofomnium says

    It almost sounds like comedy. And when Romney loses, will they admit that nothing fails like prayer? Or will they make dishonest excuses for the failure of their prayers?

  5. says


    patients who had a group pray for them, even without their knowledge, show positive effects by healing faster or better in 57% of studies?

    Not ready to pay $25 to access the article they reference, but the abstract says:

    Of the trials, 5 examined prayer as the distant healing intervention, 11 assessed noncontact Therapeutic Touch, and 7 examined other forms of distant healing.

    When did Christian Good People™ start considering “noncontact Therapeutic Touch” and other new-age mysticism as part of canon?

  6. says

    G K Chesterton wrote a poem on Lepanto, of which I learned huge chunks in high school.
    He credited Don John of Austria with the victory, and although as a Cattle-ic Chesterton of course gave the Poop a favourable mention. I don’t remember any mention of prayer.
    And Chesterton certainly would have if he could…
    (Wanders off reciting…
    ‘White founts falling in the courts of the sun / and the Soldan of Byzantium is smiling as they run. / There is laughter like the fountains in that fac….)

  7. The Lorax says

    White stone angels in the Halls of the Dead
    With the burning Byzantium the angels are fed

    … sorry. *goes back to his corner*

  8. felicis says

    If I pray against Mitt Romney, does that cancel out one of their prayers? What if I pray twice as hard, can I cancel two?

    What if I can actually speak a little Turkish, does that disprove her point?

  9. says

    @Johnny Vector @8:

    “noncontact Therapeutic Touch” – I do not think those words mean what they think they mean.

    And, just to make the statistics clear:

    With 23 data points, saying that people “healed faster or better” in 57% of them means there was no measurable effect. Binomial statistics means that the measurement really is (57 ± 16)%, and since the null hypothesis is that 50% of the time patients will heal above average and 50% of the time they will heal below average, there is nothing here.

    If they had ten times the data, then they might have a result. But that would depend on a consistent and unbiased definition of healing faster or better, including corrections for known systematic errors such as the placebo effect.

  10. zb24601 says

    Isn’t praying for the outcome of the election to be other than the will of the voters against our basis of government? So, my question is… Why do conservative christians in the United States hate the United States so much?

  11. BCat70 says

    The pie chart on the left- “Good People” vs. “misguided”

    -aaaaaaaand ROFL.

    Also, Nice tits for a Xian site. Really well drawn.

  12. Arancaytar says

    White stone angels in the Halls of the Dead
    With the burning Byzantium the angels are fed

    Blink, turn around, look away and you’re dead.

  13. Arancaytar says

    They should definitely pray. In fact, don’t bother taking the time off from praying to vote. If they have enough faith, they should trust God to rig the election for them without taking part in it.

  14. The Ridger says

    Since the Jesus said – according to them – that “if two of you” pray “it will be done for them by my Father in heaven”, does god seize up like Mudd’s robots if two Democrats pray for Obama while these folks are praying for Romney? Why don’t people like this ever acknowledge that the other side prays, too?

    ps – I really, really hate the way this site handles logins.

  15. gjm11 says

    Parody. Absolutely gotta be. Everything about the style is incompatible with the sort of person who would do this seriously.

  16. davidhart says

    Well, I couldn’t resist seeing what happens if you agree to pray for Mitt but don’t tick the box confirming you are a Christian. Turns out it puts you through to a ‘thanks; we’ll be in contact later’ page. I now kind of hope this is a parody, because if not, I may be in line for some godbotting spam.

  17. Guest too says

    Maybe they don’t have the corner on the God market they thought they had. God may hate religious hypocrisy more than the worst of the sins. They need to examine their hearts!

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