Once In A Very Blue Moon

Again, for Neil. Because tonight (the night of his funeral, I understand) it’s a blue moon.

(I did have https://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish/2009/12/31/once-in-a-blue-moon-its-new-years-eve/ a few years back. I also actually have written a song that is a response to this one, but that was before I was a Cuttlefish, so you won’t see it here.)

But We Thought That Was The Whole Point…

“Introduction To Congress”, the syllabus said;
It was filled with the Harvard elite—
The goal was to learn about civics; instead,
Half the students just learned how to cheat.

Academic dishonesty at Harvard.

Harvard College’s disciplinary board is investigating nearly half of the 279 students who enrolled in Government 1310: “Introduction to Congress” last spring for allegedly plagiarizing answers or inappropriately collaborating on the class’ final take-home exam.

Dean of Undergraduate Education Jay M. Harris said the magnitude of the case was “unprecedented in anyone’s living memory.”

That’s right; Harvard is supposed to be known for grade inflation, not for cheating.

(Reading the article, it looks like there is sufficient blame to cast on both student and professor.)

Oohhhhh….. Mitt.

Oh, Mitt. My in-laws are so happy with your speech. Of course, as Cuttlespouse told me this evening, they’d vote for Hitler if he ran as a Republican.


He’ll never use a compass
When a weathervane will do;
You can check his past directions
For the way the wind once blew
There’s no permanent position
Which, for money, he won’t bend
To the will of corporations
Cos they’re people too, my friend!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

He passed a law for health care
Which of course he now regrets
He likes to prove his honor
With ten-thousand dollar bets
Abortion is an evil, which
Good people should abhor
In utter contradiction of
The stand he took before!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

Oh beautiful for spacious skies
For amber waves of grain
For candidates who can’t recall
Which years they worked at Bain

His piercing eyes, his shining teeth,
His perfect, manly hair
His mainstream Christian values
And his magic underwear
He’s earned my admiration
Though it strains my common sense—
For taking strong positions, but
On both sides of the fence!

It’s time we had a president
Who will not stand for shit—
So strap your dog to the roof of your car
And let’s hit the road for Mitt!

I still need to record this in the original tune–but really, only to show you how much better this version is.

Yes, from here and here.

We Hold These Lies To Be Self-Evident…

The speeches we hear are so flagrantly truthless—
They don’t even hide their intentions—
Let’s update the saying to cover the ruthless:
There’s lies, and damned lies, and conventions.

At least five times, Ryan misrepresented the facts. And while none of the statements were new, the context was. It’s one thing to hear them on a thirty-second television spot or even in a stump speech before a small crowd. It’s something else entirely to hear them in prime time address, as a vice presidential nominee is accepting his party’s nomination and speaking to the entire country.

Headline Muse, 8/29

Never mind that real people are hurt
Here’s a chance to have fun slinging dirt
So let’s cheer for our school
Though the message is cruel
With a brand-new Ohio State shirt!

Headline: Ohio State mocks Sandusky scandal with tasteless T-shirt

the popular women’s interests blog Jezebel has unearthed a photo of a red-and-white T-shirt that reads “I’d rather shower at Penn State than cheer for the Wolverines.”

The worst part? Not the fact that the Buckeye fans were turning all of Jerry Sandusky’s child abuse into a joke … but that they aren’t the only ones.

Similar shirts have popped up at Iowa and LSU.

Get it? It’s funny, cos it’s about child rape! Which is not quite as bad as cheering for Michigan!

For the record, Ohio State University officials had nothing to do with the shirt, and they find it “unacceptable and appalling”.

Somewhere, some undergrad is as proud as a peacock about the design, and about the fact that at it was copied at at least 2 other schools.

Projection, Of Historical Proportions

I remember when believers
Showed a missionary zeal
They would meet you at your doorstep
Just to show you God was real
They would go to other countries
Cos they had to spread the word
They might learn a different language
To be certain they were heard
They attended church on Sundays
With their families in tow
They thought Jesus was the answer
And they had to let you know… [Read more…]

Headline Muse, 8/28

When the Maine-iacs faced relegation
They reacted with well-earned frustration
Though their shouts were in vain
All could hear the refrain
Of “Remember the Maine… delegation”

Headline: Angry Maine Delegates Cause Ruckus During GOP Convention

As the formal nomination of Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney got underway, a very, very vocal minority of Ron Paul supporters from Maine let their disappointment be known.

The elected Maine delegates were upset that through procedural maneuvers the party denied them the right to sit on the floor–so it was from the balcony they chanted, “Seat Maine now!” and interrupted proceedings to the point that Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus had to ask the audience for “respect.”

After attracting a media scrum of cameras and audio recorders, the group was peacefully escorted–or walked out–of the convention floor by security officials. The Mainers continued to voice their frustration in the hallways with a rousing chant of “Ron Paul!”

As always, there is more to the story. The Maine Primary was split about 50-50, Ron Paul and Mittens. But the caucuses, where the actual delegates were chosen, was flooded with Paul supporters. Caucuses always have smaller turnouts, so more motivated minority supporters can have disproportionate influence. In Maine, that meant that something like 21 out of 24 delegates were Ron Paul delegates.

The GOP did not like that, so they switched ten of them to Romney delegates. Just like that. Paul’s supporters say that they followed all the rules in gaining their delegates. Romney says he paid every bit of tax he owed and not a penny more. Rules are apparently there to be gamed.

The Atheist Invocation

It’s a simple invocation
And delivered from the heart;
Just a message to the public
As the meeting’s set to start
For the welfare of all people,
Seeing dignity and worth
He invoked, not God in Heaven,
But the council, here on Earth

But the people didn’t get it—
Or they thought that it was odd—
“Why’s he praying to the council?
When you pray, you pray to God!”
It’s an unfamiliar concept
And it only goes to show
That their “normal” invocations
Are religious, and should go

Story after the jump: [Read more…]

Headline Muse, 8/27

He’s a former Republican page
With a problem concealing his rage
It’s a terrorist plot—
He myopically thought
There’d be others whom he might engage

Headline: Revealed: Militia leader soldier who ‘killed comrade because he left anarchist group’ was page at 2008 Republican convention

Ok, this is horrible. As much as I expected this years ago, I am horrified that this is happening now.

A former soldier accused of killing two people and leading a plot to assassinate President Obama worked at the last Republican National Convention, it has been revealed.
Isaac Aguigui is currently on trial alongside three comrades charged with murdering another soldier and his girlfriend because they had apparently betrayed their anarchist militia group.

There’s much more to this. We’re looking at a genuine attempt to assassinate government officials and take over. The assumption was that enough other people thought like they did, and would cheer their attempt and join their crusade.

I’m gonna stop here. I hope these people get appropriate news coverage, and are not swept under the rug so as not to seem unkind to the GOP convention… You know, the one that Aguigui attended as a page four years ago.