Democracy? Who Needs It?

We have to prune the registries
Of enemies of note—
What sort of country would we have
If everyone could vote?

The Democrats, the radicals,
Minorities, and such—
Imagine the calamity!
It isn’t asking much

The patriotic duty of
Each woman and each man
To trim the list of enemies—
As many as we can.

We push each technicality,
And watch the numbers fall…
Yes, things will run much smoother, when
We needn’t vote at all!

Dedicated to Florida. Oh, and Texas. And…


  1. Crudely Wrott says

    We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and are most equal when they, like us, toe the party line. We agree that the best way to support our continuing profit and comfort is to ensure that we maintain continuity of belief throughout the population in what we all covet most dearly. Those who don’t share our resolve and fail to value the necessity of a union of confidence in such principles, fuck ’em. They are rightly disenfranchised as all criminals, apostates and naysayers most properly are. For this knowledge and resolve of purpose we thank our Heavenly Father whose ways are just and upright and most worthy of the highest Praise.

    [Andy Rooney voice]
    Ever notice how well known and cherished principles seem to undergo a slow change as time goes by? I wonder, is it because of simple forgetfulness and inattention or is it because some people just can’t stand the restraint that civilization places on their darkest passions?
    [end Andy Rooney voice]

  2. Die Anyway says

    For once I’m going to disagree with dear DC. Canada does not allow Americans to vote in their elections. Alabama and Georgia do not allow Floridians to vote in their elections even though we are very close neighbors. As far as I know, none of the Caribbean basin nations allow non-citizens to vote in their elections. I doubt that anywhere allows dead people to vote. Why is it a problem when Florida wants to prohibit non-Florida citizens and other illegal registrants from voting here? I have a hard enough time getting my vote to count for anything here in Florida. If it is watered down by illegal votes, that’s not helping me at all. And if they happen to be voting with me, is that a valid reason to ignore the illegality of it? I think not. Shame on me if I’m accepting illegal help at the polls just because it benefits me. I did not vote for Gov. Scott, do not like Gov. Scott, but keeping illegals off the voting registration list is not something I’m going to fight him on.

  3. says

    @Die Anyway:

    Have you read the articles about the purge? It’s largely focused on Democratic voters (or those who are usually Democratic), it’s filled with innaccuracies, and it’s illegal to start a purge as close to a vote as the state of Florida is doing.

  4. says

    …and any state that bars felons from voting. Pretty convenient, given that so many drug charges are felonies, no…?

  5. RW Ahrens says

    Die anyway;

    What I’d like to know is: How does the State of Florida know they are illegals? Are they cross-referencing their voter lists with Immigration rolls? If they know they are illegal, why did they allow them to register in the first place? Doesn’t Florida require some kind of proof of citizenship? If not, how do they know if ANY registered voter is an American?

    You see the problem? This looks to be just another solution looking for a problem, just like the voter id laws, which, in reality, is just another way to reduce Democratic voter numbers.

  6. eamick says

    As far as I know, none of the Caribbean basin nations allow non-citizens to vote in their elections.

    Not quite. Several Caribbean members of the Commonwealth of Nations allow residents who are citizens of other Commonwealth countries to vote. All countries in the EU allow resident citizens of other EU countries to vote in EU elections, and even in local (but not national) elections. There are even European countries that allow all resident foreigners to vote in local elections.


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