Headline Muse, 1/22

As republicans lengthen their fight
We see democrats smile with delight
It’s a full, headlong chase
To win over their base
So they’re sprinting their way to the right

Headline: Romney, Gingrich Appeals To GOP Right Raise General-Election Hurdles

Currently, the race to the right has already been marked by a crowd booing the Golden Rule. Reminds me a bit of the “risky shift” phenomenon, a polarization of group opinion in which the final product of a group deliberation is more extreme than the average of the initial individual opinions.

I expect Mom’s Apple Pie to be branded as a communist sympathizer by the end of the month.

I Wanna Marry Newt Gingrich (II)


I’ve been watching the news from Carolina
Where the Newt’s at the head of the pack
And there’s little or nothing that’s finer
Than to see Mr. Gingrich surge back
Now you know that I have to be hopin’
It’s a triumph he’s willing to share
With his mind and his marriage both open
Like he told us, Callista won’t care

The republican vision of morals
Has moved, as a matter of course
Since the ads, the debates, and the quarrels
We’re accepting of more than divorce
If you’re caught in an amorous quandary
You’ll do what the Newt would have done:
If you think that a wife is the love of your life
Then you’ll want to have more than just one!

Song itself, after the jump: [Read more…]

The South Carolina Vote

In just a few hours, we’ll know the results,
When the last person casts a vote;
Between four white guys from three different cults,
And not lots of thought there to note.
The strangest of bedfellows, politics makes,
When they’re racing, all hell bent for leather
Who cares what religion, they’re all of them snakes
So they may as well all hang together

I see a silver lining in this. Yes, Catholicism (2 candidates), Mormonism (one) and Libertarianism (one) have each been termed “cults”. Frankly, I don’t much care whether they fit a technical definition, as it has always seemed clear to me that the usage simply implied that this group was A) bad, and B) not us. That’s all.

But now, in conservatively religious South Carolina, the front-runners are members of religions that local pinheads have only recently demeaned as cults. And it doesn’t seem to matter. So the silver lining is that the tribes of religion hold less power than they used to. The dark cloud, though, is that they may all agree that atheism, at least, is a cult.

The Evangelical Spectrum

Evangelicals cover a spectrum,” he said,
“We’re a red state, yes, but not equally red—
We might seem the same to some blue-blooded fool,
But we’re not all maroons, as a cardinal rule.”
So I looked a bit closer, as you will, I trust,
And saw coral and crimson and ruby and rust,
Amaranth, auburn, and burgundy wine,
From scarlet to rufous, and on down the line—
So, yes, there’s a spectrum that’s there to be seen,
But it lacks blue and yellow, and has no trace of green
Not monochromatic (it’s close, but not quite)
So why are they treated like plain black or white?

More, after the jump: [Read more…]

Despicable Newt

“To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary a significant question in a presidential campaign is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine,” Gingrich told King, the moderator of the debate.”

Newt, being cute, had a point of dispute:
“Your question is close to despicable!”
Please note that this quote is a hunt for your vote—
He wants to be perfectly pickable.
His ire will inspire (that’s at least his desire)
Lest you think his remark’s inexplicable
And Callista is pissed, she’s just one on his list
Of the women that Newt finds are dickable.
A media screed could put Newt in the lead
And if not, then reporters are kickable
And Newt, in pursuit, is a bit of a brute
And, frankly, it just makes me sickable.

Oh, I think we can all imagine something more despicable. Oh, wait! Newt’s right! That’s not imagination!

That’s memory.

Evil Little Thing

Once upon a time, there was
An evil little thing,
Who faced the slings and arrows that
She knew her acts would bring.
The folks in her community
Are treating her like dirt—
You want to stand with Jessica?
It’s time to buy a shirt.

An “Evil Little Thing” shirt, that is–proceeds go to Jessica Ahlquist’s college scholarship fund (set up by The Friendly Atheist). Click the link, take a look–if you wish, you can order a customized version, with your choice of font and/or your message on the back.

This Is What It Looks Like

This is what it looks like
When a mob of believers act out on their fevers
And act in the place of the law

This is what it looks like
When a person’s attacked for beliefs that are lacked
And when public emotions are raw

This is religion in government.
This is religion by force
This is the brawl when you tear down the wall
And the thrall of the mob runs its course

This is what it looks like
When the church and the state allow people to hate
With the force of the law on their side

This is what it looks like
When majority rules in the towns and the schools
And the fools force dissenters to hide

This is religion in government.
This is religion by force
This is the brawl when you tear down the wall
And the thrall of the mob runs its course

This is what it looks like
When the law of a nation holds no separation
And thinking some thoughts is a crime

This is what it looks like
And it wouldn’t be hard, simply let down your guard
And it’s only a matter of time

This is what it looks like.

Context(s), after the jump: [Read more…]