On Flushing And Brushing

You’ve never really given it thought;
You just don’t do it, and really, you ought;
I blame your parents. You just weren’t taught
To close the lid when you flush.

But think—enclosed in a tiny room,
Each flush creates a fecal plume
Which bathes the place in shit perfume
While you might floss and brush.

To leave the toilet open wide
While stirring up what’s there inside
Creates a sort of toxic tide
And everything gets hit

So, please oh please, I think it best
To close the lid and keep it pressed
And never hear the words expressed
“My toothbrush tastes like shit.”

Yes, this was written for a particular person. No, I won’t really be able to show it to that particular person. SO… I need your help. Print it out and pin it up next to every toilet in the world. Just in case. And I’m not making the fecal plume phenomenon up.


  1. peoplearenodamngood says

    Whew! Speaking of fecal plumes… the registration process took longer than a bm while constipated. And I couldn’t register as Die Anyway. “dieanyway” in all lower case didn’t look right so I’m now somebody new. :-)

    On topic: I’m probably one of the few guys who always puts the seat down AND closes the lid. One of those OCD behaviors.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *