Friday Limericks–Graduation Day

So this weekend is graduation day for a lot of places around here. Last weekend for some, next weekend for others. Here at Cuttlefish U., commencement is this weekend, but grades are not due until next week. Which means that I am still grading while the students are celebrating. Still grading while I am trying to prepare for the Big Life-Changing Event that I will write about in a day or so (with luck, after my grades have been delivered).

I know that some of my readers have yet to suffer through even one graduation, and others have gone through 4 or more of their own, let alone their children’s or their students. So we have many different perspectives here; I can’t wait to read them!

It’s the end of their four (or more) years
Countless classes, and countless more beers
In a moment or two
All their loans will come due
That’s the reason for graduates’ tears!

With such pride that it’s swelling their chests,
We see Seniors escorting their guests
To their chairs on the field—
But too soon, it’s revealed:
Cuttlefish is still grading their tests!

Through the traffic and crowds I’ll be weaving
Looking flustered—but looks are deceiving;
Once you’ve gotten to know
Them for four years or so
It’s not always a joy when they’re leaving.

In the line, as you slowly advance
To receive your diploma, perchance
It would soften your frown
If you thought, ‘neath that gown,
That the speaker is not wearing pants.


  1. says

    Wait, what? You’re still grading? And not the only one, I presume? What if someone graduates and then fails? Mass confusion!This diploma is mine now, you guys:I’ve suffered a lot for this prize.And if I now failI swear to prevail:From my fingers (cold dead) you must prize.

  2. says

    Graduation at Liberty UIs a proud day that happens there too.Their science degreesMight as well grow on trees.They’re designed by the IDer crew.They’ll descend on a world unaware.Their agenda’s a way to prepareFundie theocracy To crush democracy.- Education reduced to woo prayer.So encourage your kids please, dear Cuttle.Or those ‘tards will our people befuddle …With Creationist junkAnd other such bunk.And our country’ll end up in a muddle. ~ Okay, perhaps not my best effort, but no time today. Hope your graduation is a great one. Congrats to all those deserving grads!

  3. says

    BSc:When my name was finally calledI was scared I would trip and then fallIn front of those clownsIn their various gownsSo I watched my feet all down the hallPhD:When it came to my next graduationI did not want the humiliationSo to bypass the painI got onto a planeAnd escaped to a whole other nation(Yup, I wriggled out of the 2 hour Latin ceremony by moving to Canada. Sitting through my then-boyfriend’s ceremony the year before was more than enough. Nightmare).Looking forward to hearing the big news!

  4. says

    @the ridger, fcd: prise or prize, either way it’s right, still, prise would be my selection too, to avoid rhyming prize with its homograph.Mine:Although it is hard to believe,And the memory’s hard to retrieve,On thirtieth May,’97, my B.A.On that stage I did finally receive.Recounting those four lovely years,With friends, with heartache, with fears,With love, with laughter,Now eleven years after,I smile and weep nostalgic tears.

  5. says

    Oh dear, I don’t do poetry – but I am having such fun reading yours, mostly on Pharyngula. Just wanted to let you know you have a fan.

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