Friday Limericks: Front Page Muse

The first installment of what I hope will become a regular feature–The Friday Limerick Post! In your comments, please add your own limericks! (sorry it is up a bit late–the power was out here this morning)

The topic this week: Front Page Muse. Whatever your local paper has on its front page, from soup to nuts, from sports to weather, from alpha to omega, those are the topics from which you get to choose! I’ll start us off with this article, on the front page of the New York Times, about parents who are refusing to vaccinate their children, and the very serious increased risk to those children and to other children (because of the benefits of “herd immunity”, which requires a substantial percentage of the population to be vaccinated) brought about by the misguided ignorance of these parents. It is worth reading the article… Meanwhile…

Although hundreds of thousands will die
From the measles, some parents deny
A life-saving vaccine,
Not because they are mean,
But because they have swallowed a lie.

Vaccinations are such a success
That diseases are noticed much less
So we start to relax,
And the anti-vax quacks
Take the chance to make science regress!

Though they don’t have one fact on their side,
At this point, it’s a matter of pride—
They can’t say they were wrong;
Their belief is so strong
And insanity won’t be denied.

Rule number one: Have fun!
Rule number two: Unless it contradicts rule number one, write a limerick, and maybe even link to your local newspaper so we can see where you are commenting from!
Rule number three: Lurking without posting limericks will be tolerated, but if we catch you we get to tickle you with an ostrich feather. So why not try a limerick?


  1. says

    OK, front page UK news. The Catholic church restated that they would prefer to let people unnecessarily suffer and die from treatable diseases rather than allow manipulation of brainless stem cells. And bookmakers were allowed to open on Good Friday for the first time.To keep the faith in this landGambling at Easter was banned.But today I will betThat the church will not letEvidence defeat revelation.

  2. says

    A Friday Limerick Post is a great idea! I’d rather not reveal my specific location, so I’ll just link to this NYT article on the flooding in the Midwest.Flood waters continue to riseAs if we by Neptune are despisedBut science now explainsEffects of heavy rainsSo no need for a virgin sacrifice

  3. says

    While floods are damaging many parts of the Midwest, a late winter storm visited my area today.Though already spring, there is snowWith gray skies and winds that do blowIt really does suckTo drive through this muckSo on holiday break I can’t go.

  4. says

    Just realized I had hit submit while still composing it. Sorry! Unlike those notes about weatherMy note was not quite togetherI thought “revelation”Would rhyme up with “nation”I now fear that old ostrich feather.

  5. says

    Ah, winter, in all of its forms!From the fury and might of its stormsTo the clear of the nightWhen polaris, so bright,Although freezing, some part of me warmsWill a parka or jacket sufficeTo protect from the snow and the ice?When the winds of a blizzardChill clear to the gizzardMore layers, as a rule, would be nice!In the UK, the front page now tellsOf the claptrap the Catholic Church sells–They will hold up their moralsWhile everyone quarrelsTo the tune of the funeral bells.A feather, from ostrich or quail, Brings a torture of sorts, without fail–Since this is the first,We will leave you uncursedAh, but next time, the peacock’s tail’s tale!

  6. says

    Ho-lee CRAP!I just wrote a three verse limerick about the fatal woman/spotted eagle ray collision in Florida and lost it when I tried to log in! I even used Mrs. Zagorski and Myliobatidae in the verse!From hells heart I spit at thee, Google!

  7. says

    * New Christian coffeehouse in the Sacramento area. come from the article)“On a bean and a prayer” come the faithful,To avoid drinking lattes with thugs…Like those evil ones there at the Starbucks. That’s whereThose atheists deflower the mugs!Hey, gimmee a tall “Frozen Chosen…”I need a skydaddy fix quick!At Jericho’s* tables you can trade Jesus fablesAnd “Fruits of the Spirit” – oh ick!Oh come, ye who want to be saved now.Good Christians, let’s “fellowship” here. No Darwinist drivel to make your balls shrivelNot one uppity female, nor queer…Will we tolerate here in God’s refuge.You’ll be safe from all reason and wit.You’ll read the Good Book– divine gobbledygook,Full of lies and Pecksniffish batshit!

  8. says

    From today’s Baltimore Sun: Russian firm buys the Point:Severstal plans to run steel mill at capacityThe Russians have bought Sparrows Point.They’ll completely rehab the old joint.The workers had fearsThey’d be laid off in tearsBut the Russkies say that’s not point:Severstal wants the mill to keep going’Cause they want the cash to keep flowingFrom old BaltimoreTo the cold North Sea shoreAnd they don’t mind a bit of seed sowing.”The Russians are coming!” was onceA cry to inspire witch hunts.But it seems now the reason(Though it’s not football season)For kicking field goals and not punts.The union – they’re really not dumb -Could hardly be any less glum:”Though a stepchild before,Now there’s more work in store,And we really don’t care where they’re from.”

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