1. says

    “Hey, Scully, check this out! Mango-kiwi tropical swirl… Now we know we’re dealin’ with a madman!”

    – Fox Mulder, “The X-Files”, from the episode “Pusher” (1996)

  2. Cassidy McJones says

    Harald Hanche-Olsen @4:

    Kale is a leafy green vegetable and isn’t usually considered a flavor that lends itself well to a sugar water drink. The fact that Hansen’s put out a Kale soda smacks of trying to capitalize on the whole “Kale superfood” trend that has been going on in the US for at least a few years now. Maybe longer. It’s similar to the whole “pumpkin spice” craze but in this case it’s even more jarring because soda and kale are just not flavors that go together.

    Basically, this looks like an idea dreamt up by Hansen’s marketing department solely to ride the kale wave.

    I actually really like kale. I make a big bowl of kale tabouli every week for lunch at work. I’m into all sorts of wonky foods and flavor combinations but I can’t even imagine what this soda would taste like. Although, who knows – maybe on some level it ‘works’. Truth be told I’d probably try it once just for the novelty.

    Hope that helps.

  3. says

    Josh made a joke yesterday about privileged white people that involved quinoa, the grain, which is something of a fad food in the US. Sasha Pixlee subsequently found “quinoa-flavored vodka” in a store, and this drink has “kale” labeled on it. (Kale being a “healthy organic whole foods” fad food in certain parts of the USA.)

  4. luzclara says

    Is this a joke?

    I like kale. And I have even sipped a chocolate protein smoothie that had kale whipped into it. It wasn’t bad b/c the chocolate overpowered the kale flavor. But it would be like making beet flavored soda, or onion flavored soda. Or salmon flavored soda. Not a match. Yuck.

    My personal pumpkin pie spice craze began in the 1960s when I figured out that my mother’s pumpkin pie was really made of squash, a vegetable I detested. So I got out the pumpkin pie spice, which was the only part I liked from the pie, and sprinkled it on lots of things. And I still do. It is really good on oatmeal.

  5. says

    Um, yeah, I know what kale is. I eat loads of it, and probably has some of it stuck in my teeth at this moment. Making a kale soda did strike me as somwhat odd, though. But thanks for the explanation, anyhow. There are aspects of the USAnian experience I am sure I’ll never grok, despite spending a total of more than three years over there. But not consecutively, thank goodness. Before anyone feels insulted, let me hasten to add that I found the people I met there mostly very nice. It!s the culture I don’t get.

  6. Josh, Official SpokesGay says

    And it is annoying because kale is a)delicious if you like greens b)super fucking nutritious c)good roasted crunchy or stewed d)something poor folks in the US were eating hundreds of years before hipsters Discovered it.

  7. says

    Josh@10 is right. I’ve been growing kale for YEARS. If you prepare it correctly, it’s delicious. You don’t have to sit on the sidewalk eating a bare leaf of kale, it’s actually possible to make prepared meals with it that even a picky six-year-old will eat (which I know from experience). You certainly don’t have to turn it into a soft drink.

  8. PatrickG says

    I’ll just add that I find it truly ironic that hipsters ruined brunch. By adding kale to everything because it’s Deliciously Healthy™ regardless of whether it, y’know, would taste good or work with the rest of the dish.

    Toast? Kale!
    Eggs? Kale!
    Fruit? Kale!
    Bacon? Kale!
    Mimosas? Kale! (NOT KIDDING HERE PEOPLE)
    Kale? Kale!

    That’s FREE RANGE kale*, to be clear**.

    * To be fair, even Oakland hipsters might not eat kale if it actually walked. Jury’s out on that one.
    ** I have actually seen advertisements for shade-grown kale, attempting to curry favor by echoing the Fair Trade coffee grown without deforesting equatorial rain forests. Because that’s where we get our kale, apparently. *hurk*

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *