I'm published! …Wait a second

More evidence that you shouldn’t always trust Google Scholar to deliver the best research papers. I decided to look up my name to see if my paper on genetic bottlenecks was searchable even though it’s in a book. That’s the third link listed. The first and fourth aren’t me, just some other poor J McCreight who has had their Google image search ruined forever by boobquake. But to my surprise, the second link is also mine (click image for larger):
…It’s a pdf of a paper I wrote my senior year of high school for AP Composition titled “Creationists in Scientists’ Clothing: Scientific and Legal Reasons Why Science Classes Must Omit Intelligent Design.” It’s pretty damn good considering I was 18 when I wrote it, but I derive endless amusement at how serious it’s being treated. Apparently my English teacher is second author, and the journal is ImageShack.

I mean, come on Google Scholar, how unprofessional. You forgot to mention it was 3rd period! What will happen to my academic reputation if someone thinks I was in 2nd period?!


  1. LS says

    So, wait, how did it get on google? Did your highschool teacher publish it without your permission or something? In other news, this is awesome.

  2. Rbray18 says

    yeah then you reach adult hood and forget every fucking about your and your friends childhood and teenage years and seemingly loose understanding and empathy assuming ya ever had it in the 1st place.sorry someone hit my rant button :D

  3. NotThatGreg says

    ‘Other scientific theories such as gravity and plate tectonics lack opposition by “Intelligent Falling” and “Intelligent Continent Moving” because no religious motivation exists to contradict these sciences.’Ha! Nice!And surely Intelligent Falling would allow the righteous to jump from falling chairs and not die…

  4. Alley says

    Jen, they have “P. 3” written in there for you, right before your teacher’s name. Google doesn’t forget since it knows everything! Google is all powerful =P

  5. says

    Arguably worse, Google Scholar lists my supervisor as the first author of my bachelor’s thesis, and my name isn’t mentioned at all. :-( No idea why this is, or how to prevent it.

  6. WhatPaleBlueDot says

    HOORAY! I hadn’t thought to look up my paper on Google Scholar. I feel special now.

  7. guestpest says

    Off Topic Question: Where do I go to ask this: Why have the RSS feeds for this blog stopped working? I’m using “My Yahoo!” and it shows the latest blog post being from four weeks ago. It stopped at “Atheists and agnostics are most religiously literate”. How can this be fixed?Sorry if this is inappropriate, but there are a few other blog sites having this problem as well.

  8. says

    Google scholar has such promise. Google books too. Really, the whole Google project leading to all the world’s knowledge readily available online to everyone from a powerful search tool. Sadly, it isn’t always executed well, plus we’re still dealing with the issues of paying for it all and really, should one company be in charge of it all? It’s really not so hard to imagine a future where Google rules the world. But it’s also nice to imagine a world where knowledge isn’t buried behind pay walls and in the stacks of far away libraries and is as easy to find as firing up your laptop.

  9. guestpest says

    Thanks, Jen. I just tried that link now, but it still works the same way. All posts listed still show from 1 month ago, nothing more recent. You’re probably right, it’s likely a Yahoo problem.(At least I can access the recent posts from the website home page.)

  10. says

    Hey! I’m on Google Scholar, too! And I’m not even an academic. Nor are the two books anything more than personal memoirs; one is written for kids.It wouldn’t have occurred to me to check, if I hadn’t seen this post. :)(Susannah Anderson)

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